Mute
Found You, Saved You
I slowly opened my eyes. Everything around me was dark and my head hurt so bad. I tried to move, but something made it impossible to do so. As I woke up a little more, I realised I was tied to a chair... Where was I?!
My hands were tied together behind the chair, my feet were tied to the lower part if the chair. I was also tied around the lower part of my stomach.
Suddenly, I heard something being dragged towards me on the floor. I tried to see what was happening, but it was too dark.
As the sound came closer, I could see a dark figure stand a few meters away from me. I could feel sweat drip from my forehead and tears fall down my cheeks, I was so scared.
"Sujung-ah," the person said with a calm voice. There was something unbelievably familiar with the voice, but as I started to panic, I couldn't recognise who it was. The only thing I knew about this person, was that he was not my father.
"What did you ever do to deserve me? Why would I ever start caring about you?" The man stepped a few steps closer, but it was still to dark, and my vision was blurry with tears.
He lifted up the item he was holding, the thing he had dragged along on the floor, high up above his head. At the moment, I was so scared, I only tried to figure out what was going on.
Before I could think any further, the figure slammed, what seemed to be a baseball bat, right across my stomach, making me cry out in pain.
"I asked you a question, why aren't you answering?!" His voice was angry, and he hit me once again in the stomach.
Tears escaped my eyes like rivers, and I was starting to sob.
As all I did was crying and sobbing helplessly, I received another , this time over my chest.
"Kitty, there is nothing about you that I like! Stop imagining stupid things!"
The person in front of me... Was Minhyuk?! My eyes widened and my sobs were somehow almost vanishing in shock.
Then, suddenly, he hit me right in the head, and everything went completely black....
I sat up quickly in bed, soaking in sweat and tears. I looked around, trying to catch my breath. The room I was in, was slightly dark, but some light from the moon was creeping through the curtains in front of the window.
Looking around more, I found myself sitting in Minhyuk's room. How did I end up here? Was my dream a memory?
No... It couldn't be. That could never have happened. He wouldn't do that... Would he?
Of course not! He said he liked me and that he cared for me, he said I could trust him.
I sat there, battling with my own thoughts, tears running down my cheeks, head hurting like crazy. It really felt like someone had hit my head with a baseball-bat, so why wouldn't that dream be real?
I quickly checked my arms and stomach to see if there were any marks from the ropes that had tied me up, but there was nothing, only the same marks as before.
"Kitty... Why are you awake?" I jumped at Minhyuk's sudden words. I didn't know he had awaken. I didn't even know he was in the same bed as me... Why were we in the same bed?!
"What happened? Why are you awake?" he asked me again, and sat up beside me. To be completely honest, I was slightly scared of him at the moment. That dream really hurt. "Oh my god, you're drenched in sweat... and crying... Why are you crying?!" He shook me slightly by the shoulder, and he was particularly thinking out loud.
"Did you have a bad dream?" he asked, softening his voice. I only nodded slowly. I was completely in shock. How could his character change so quickly?
I shook my head, he didn't change, it was just a dream. He didn't hit me nor did he tie me up in the dark. He promised he would never do that.
I could see a light lit up beside me.
"Sweetie, it's only three in the morning, go back to sleep," Minhyuk said, and pushed me gently to lay down.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, and snuggled closer to my body. The feeling of having him so close, relaxed me, even after that dream, and just as if he did a magical trick on me, I fell right back into sleep.
After a while, I woke up once again. This time I couldn't remember what I had dreamt, which assured me that there wasn't anything to be afraid of.
I looked over to my right, to see that Minhyuk had disappeared from the bed.
My head still hurt, and my whole body felt like a complete wreck, and I was freezing. It was summer, why was I freezing? I sat myself up a little, leaning against the wall, as the door opened. I turned my head in it's direction, to see Minhyuk enter, with his school uniform on.
"Good, you're awake," he said with a smile, but his smile soon faded as he stepped closer. "You look terrible, are you not feeling well?" he asked worried and sat down on the edge of the bed.
I couldn't get myself to speak. I didn't know why, I just couldn't. But he was right, I really did not feel good at this moment. I felt like hell, no matter how harsh that word sounded.
Minhyuk laid his palm against my forehead, and his eyes suddenly widened.
"You're burning hot!" he gasped. "You should have told me you had a fever!"
"Minhyuk, I just woke up..." I managed to say, with a low and heavy voice. He nodded his head with furrowed brows, then suddenly running out of the room, leaving me behind. I had no idea what he was doing now.
Maybe 30 seconds later, he entered the rooms again, followed by his mother. Daehyun immediately sat down on the edge of the bed, and laid her palm against my forehead.
"Are you freezing?" she asked me. I nodded slowly. How did she know that?
"You have a fever, most likely a stress fever," she told me with a sigh, and removed her hand. "I'm not letting you go to school today, you should stay in and relax." She then left the room, looking like she was in a hurry.
Minhyuk sat down beside me. He was silent, and he, for some reason, kept silent.
"Why didn't you take me home yesterday?" I asked him quietly.
"'Cause you fell asleep," he explained.
"You should have waken me... Appa is probably deadly mad by now." I wondered how he would react when I got home. He never cared if I was sick of not, if he felt like hurting me, he would hurt me.
"I didn't want to. You looked too cute while you were sleeping," he said with a sweet smile.
"What time is it?" I asked, changing the subject. I had no idea what the clock was, I only knew it was morning.
"It's only six o'clock in the morning," he said, quickly checking the time on his phone. If it was only six o'clock, that meant there were one and a half hour left until school started.
"By the way, what did you dream of earlier?" he asked. I flinched by his words. Why did he have to ask me that question? I didn't know how to respond to it, I didn't want to tell him that I dreamt about him. What would he think if I said I dreamt that he had beaten me like that? He would probably not think that I trusted him.
"I don't really want to talk about it..." I said, tears filling my eyes at once as I started to speak.
"It's fine, you don't have to if you don't want to," he comfored.
Minhyuk laid slightly down beside me, leaning on his elbow, just staring sweetly at me for a moment.
"How can you be so pretty even when your sick?" he asked, and brushed my bangs away from my eyes. Usually, I would blush of those words, but I guess my body didn't even have strength for that, and even if I blushed, it would probably not show, as my cheeks were most likely red from beforehand.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, and brought his body very close to mine.
"You said you were cold, so I'll keep you warm until I leave," he told me, and brought me even closer, his head resting in the crook of my neck. He brought the blanket over the two of us. I immediately felt warmer, and my body started relaxing.
Everything was silent, only the sound of our breathing could be heard, and it lasted like this for almost 45 minutes.
"Are you asleep?" I asked him. His breath sounded heavier than before, and it made me wonder.
"No, I'm awake," he replied. His voice was muffled by the hood of my jumper that I was still wearing since yesterday.
"You should go to school now," I told him. I didn't know what time it was, but school probably started soon, and I didn't want to cause him another detention.
"Nah, Eomma already went for work, she won't notice if I don't go to school today."
His mother went for work? Did she expect me to stay alone in her house just like that?
"She went for work?" I asked, just to make sure I heard right. It just didn't seem right that she would just leave after telling me to stay inside.
"Yeah, I think so at least," Minhyuk replied, sounding a little confused.
"What did you think?" Daehyun suddenly appeared.
"I thought you went for work," he told her lazily, not even removing his hands from me when she appeared. Why did he never care about being seen like this in front if his mother?
"No, I'm going to make sure that you attend school before I leave," she said with a stern voice and pointed a finger at Minhyuk.
"But, Eomma!" he whined, "Sujung's sick, I can't leave her alone here!"
"Changhyuk will stay with her until you finish school, and I will drive you there as well as pick you up,"
I sat slightly up, leaning against the wall, Minhyuk's head falling to my stomach before he as well sat up.
I was getting confused. Who was Changhyuk? And was I going to stay here? I couldn't do that, I had to hurry back home before my father thought of killing me. I knew he was angry, but I also knew that he didn't care about where I was. Actually, it would just have been a favour to him if I never saw daylight again.
"Cou- could anyone take me... home?" I asked carefully. My voice was weak and awkward.
The both of them looked at me. Everything was silently, making me even more awkward.
"No, I want you to stay here for a while," Daehyun said quietly and gave me a soft smile.
"B- but-"
"No 'but's! Just stay here," Minhyuk told me. "Hyung'll take care of you. You'll be okey."
So Changhyuk was Minhyuk's Hyung? It would have been so much more easy if they just told me.
"I'm here!" Someone yelled as the sound of a closing door could be heard from downstairs. It was the voice of a man.
"I'll be down in a minute," Daehyun yelled back. "Minhyuk Sweetie, take Sujung with you downstairs. You have about 15 minutes before school starts. "
With that, Daehyun went out of the room and down the stairs.
Minhyuk looked at me, a loving smile planted on his lips.
"I don't wanna leave you, but Eomma won't let me stay home any more," he told me. I looked back at him and tried to manage a smile, but my body wouldn't allow me. I felt completely broken. The fever really got the best out of me...
Minhyuk played with a lock of my hair, still looking at me with that sweet and loving expression.
"I have to go..." He said and made a cute pout. He looked so cute, I even managed a slight smile. "Don't you dare fall for Changhyuk Hyung while I'm gone! You're mine, remember that."
I turned away from him, trying to hide the weak blush that was growing around my face.
"Come, let's go downstairs," he said and stood up, pushing the blanket off the both of us. I shivered by the sudden cold air that hit my bare legs.
Before I had the chance to stand up, or even move at all, I found myself in Minhyuk's firm and fit arms.
"Minhyuk... I still have my own legs, you know," I told him with a slight frown. I felt like a child that always had to be carried around, and it was kind of annoying.
"My Kitty has a fever, let Oppa carry you down the stairs," he said and kissed my forehead, his lips lingering at the spot he kissed a little longer than necessary.
He must have noticed my hot temperature once more, because he put his forehead against mine. Again, we were so close like this. I kept my eyes down, so I wouldn't make any awkward eye contact.
"I wish I could stay and take care of you..." His voice sounded sad, like if he had lost something precious.
"Are you sure you can't take me home? I'll be fine on my own, it's not the first time this happens..." I said with a low voice, carefully opening my eyes more to look into his.
Every time I looked into his beautiful brown eyes, I found myself drowning in them. Everything seemed to calm down around me, and nothing really mattered anymore.
"Yah! Minhyuk-ah! You're going to be late for school!" Daehyun shouted from downstairs. Minhyuk sighed and squeezed his eyes in annoyance.
He removed his forehead from mine, and looked down at me with that loving expression once more.
"Be a good kitty, and trouble Hyung as much as you can," he told me with a cute smile. He really wanted me to trouble his Hyung? I couldn't do that. That would just have been wrong by my doings.
He kissed my cheek and walked out of the room and down the stairs, carrying me as if I was as light as air. I kept holding onto his shirt until we entered the living room, and he put me down in the same couch as yesterday.
I tried to sit up a little, because I was uncomfortable by the fact that I didn't greet the oldest of the Lee brothers, but Minhyuk sat down on his knees beside of me and held me down slightly, holding a hand over my chest.
"Hi, I'm Lee Changhyuk, Minhyuk's Hyung." A smiling man stood before me. He was very similar to Minhyuk, there was no problem in seeing that they shared blood. I bowed my head as much as I could, with Minhyuk holding me down, to be polite.
I wanted to say something, but all the words were stuck in my throat. Every time I was introduced or met someone new, I would turn out like this. Several times throughout my life, I had lost my voice by trauma or even the slightest thing as embarrassment.
"He-hello... I- I'm Kim Su-Sujung," I managed to get out of my throat. If I didn't introduce myself, he might have thought of me as a weirder person than I seemed to be.
"Nice to meet you, Sujung." He chuckled of the stuttering me, and sat down on the opposite couch.
"Minhyukkie, we have to hurry and go now," Daehyun said with a stressed voice.
"I'll see you later. Relax and get well quickly, you got that?" he asked jokingly with a sweet voice and kissed my cheek.
I watched him stand up, saying goodbye to his brother. I wanted to grab his hand and tell him to stay, to hold me in his arms and keep me safe. I wanted to tell him how much I liked him, how much he meant to me, but I simply just couldn't. There was something inside of me that couldn't accept the fact that someone liked me and wanted to protect me.
I didn't really realise that they had left, until I heard the door close shut.
I felt extremely uncomfortable, laying in the couch in front of Minhyuk's brother. Carefully, I tried to sit up, but my body wouldn't allow me. I was too weak.
"Are you hungry? Do you want anything to eat?" Changhyuk asked suddenly, breaking the silence. I stiffened a little, trying to feel if my stomach was really craving for food.
"No, I am not hungry, but thank you," I said in a formal manner, My voice low.
"You sure?" He asked, and gave me a serious look. I nodded my head carefully.
"Well, if you say so," he sighed and stood up from the couch. "I'm starving! At least tell me if you get hungry."
He vanished into the kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room. I let a sigh escape my lips. I didn't feel secure around people I had never met before.
He came back after ten minutes, with a bowl of Ramen, and sat down in the same couch as last time.
He looked at me for a moment.
"Are you cold? You look like you're freezing."
I hesitated at first. I hated to bother people with my problems, but I ended up nodding shyly at his question.
Again, he got up from the couch, and made his way up the stairs. Not long after, he came running down, a pillow and blanket in his arms.
He instructed me to lift up my head, and stuffed the pillow under me comfortably. Then, he tucked me in under the blanked. I felt slightly more comfortable, as my bruised legs weren't so exposed anymore. There was a reason why I never really used to wear shorts.
"There you go," he smiled, and picked up his bowl of food.
I stared up at the ceiling, not really thinking about anything. I was so exhausted, I just wanted to sleep, but I figured that would be rude, if I just fell asleep.
In the end, that was the exactly thing I ended up doing. My eyelids became more and more heavy, and soon, they closed completely.
"What if he leaves you?"
The room I was sitting in was completely white. I couldn't see anything but white. Except for a girl with long brown hair and a light pink dress. Her back was facing me.
"What do you mean?" I asked. I couldn't remember how I ended up here. I had never been here before.
"Minhyuk. What if he leaves you?" The girls repeated herself. Her voice sounded awfully like my own. Actually, everything about her reminded me of myself.
"If he leaves you, there won't be anyone, will there? If you don't return his feelings soon, he will be tired of you, and he'll walk away."
The girl turned around. The sight of her made me speechless, and my eyes went wide. She was... Me.
"Don't think that he won't leave you in the end, because he will. No one likes someone like you. Or should I say us?"
"Will he really leave me?" I asked carefully, tears building in my eyes.
"Of course he will. You should just quietly walk away while you have the chance, before you bother him even more."
The other me started to make her way up to where I stood. She stood there for a moment, looking at me with pity in her eyes.
Suddenly, I felt something sharp dig into my stomach. I gasped, my hands roaming to my stomach for support.
The other me took a step back, leaving the knife in my stomach. I fell to my knees, crying in pain.
"Kill yourself. That's how you walk out of any further damages. I know we both have been thinking of dying, and now is the perfect time."
The white room started to become more and more blurry. I kept on crying and gasping for air. Then, suddenly, a voice could be heard. It sounded like it was really far away.
"Sujung-ah..." It sounded like someone was calling for me from outside this room. "Sujung-ah." The voice became sharper, and the room even more blurry.
"Sujung-ah!"
My eyes snapped open. I carefully looked in front of me. Changhyuk was on his knees in front of me, beside the couch, and I was gripping his shirt tightly. He held an arm firmly on my shoulder, he had probably shaken me a little to wake me up.
Tears were running down my face, and I tried to get my head back into reality.
"It's okey, you're okey," he said, trying to calm me down.
I dried away the tears, embarrassed of my behaviour in front of Minhyuk's brother. Letting go of his shirt, I sat up, drying the sweat off my forehead.
"Did you have a bad dream?" he asked me with worried eyes. I ran my hands trough my hair, leaving them on the top of my head, and nodded slightly.
He let out a sigh of relief.
"It's okey now, nothing's going to hurt you," he said and squeezed my arm lightly.
There was a long moment of silence, which didn't really matter to me. I needed some time to sort my thoughts.
I had seated myself longer down in the couch. My head would probably explode soon.
"How's your relationship going?" Changhyuk suddenly asked. I looked at him for a minute, confused of what he meant. "Between you and Minhyuk," he continued, as he seemed to understand that I didn't understand what he meant.
I felt my head get even warmer, and my eyes widened slightly. Was Minhyuk telling people we were together? He couldn't exactly be doing anything else, since both his brother and his mother thought we were together.
"We.. We're not in any relationship," I said shyly, and looked down at my lap.
"Really?" He asked, looking shocked. I nodded my head in response. "Huh...."
He sat back in the coach, looking confused.
"He likes you a lot, and he keeps talking about you at all times. You do know that he likes you, right?" I hesitated, but nodded at his question.
"Well... Do You like him?"
I looked at him for a moment, thinking it through. I liked everything about him; his hair and skin, his well built body, his loving and caring personality, how he wasn't scared of anything. There wasn't one thing that I didn't like.
After a while, I nodded shyly at Changhyuk's question.
"Does he know how you feel?" he asked. My gaze shifted back to my lap as I shook my head. I didn't think he knew at least. I wanted to tell him that I liked him, I wanted to tell him to hold me in his arms and never let me go.
"If you like him, shouldn't you tell him that?"
This time, I kept completely silent. Everything was silent, and it lasted like that for a long time.
"Changhyuk-Ssi, could you take me home?" I asked carefully, braking the silence. He looked at me with a pout.
"You dislike me that much?" He asked. I slightly panicked and sat up in the couch.
"No, no! That was not what I meant, I-" I got interrupted by Changhyuk's laughing.
"Relax, I was only joking with you," he said with a smile, making me calm down, "if you wish to go home, I can take you there. I heard you fell asleep here last night, there's probably someone at home worrying about you."
I felt my heart sink low at the thought of an angry father that didn't really care if I got hurt or if he didn't know where I was, but I decided to force a smile and nod.
(Minhyuk's POV)
I kicked off my shoes as I entered the door after school, Eomma following close behind me.
As I walked into the living room, I noticed it was only Changhyuk Hyung who was there.
"Hyung, where's Sujung?" I asked and sat down on the couch.
"Hi you," he said and ruffled my hair. I gave him a look and fixed it into it's original position. "She asked me to take her home."
My eyes went wide.
"Did you take her home?" I gasped.
"Yeah, is there anything wrong?" he asked worriedly. I let out a deep sigh.
"I kept her here because she's not safe at home!"
I stood up quickly, ready to run out of the house, but Changhyuk grabbed my wrist.
"What do you mean 'not safe at home'? Minhyuk, you need to explain what's going on!" he almost shouted as his face just became more and more confused.
"Eomma will explain, I really need to go now, Hyung!" I freed my wrist from his grip and ran out the house, grabbing my car keys as I did so.
I tried calling Sujung several times as I drove, but she didn't answer, and it made me even more worried than I already had gotten.
Not too long after, I parked outside Sujung's house, rushing inside, forgetting all manners about knocking the door.
I looked around, and spotted Sujung's father in the couch looking at me, holding a newspaper in his hands. Then I heard a loud crash from upstairs, and my head soon snapped in the direction of the stairs.
"She's losing her mind, you better get up to her room," he told me. There was no sing of worry in his voice. He sounded more like he was bored or tired, not worried.
I ran up the stairs, shoes still on, and opened the door of Sujung's room. Just as I opened the door, she fell to the floor, onto her knees, sobbing and shaking violently. All the things in her room were slung everywhere. It looked like a tornado had been inside of there.
I quickly went to her side, wrapping my arms around her, letting her sob into my chest.
After a long while, she slowly started to calm down. I moved my hand from her back, to her arm, just to feel my hand getting slightly wet by something warm.
Carefully, I lifted up my hand to see what it was. My eyes widened in shock as they landed on my hand.
It was covered in blood!
Panic started to spread inside my whole body, trying to figure out what had happened. Was she badly hurt? What had happened to her?
I slightly pulled away from her, holding her by the shoulders. My eyes landed on her arms, where I assumed the blood was coming from.
"Sujung-ah..!" I gasped, eyes growing wide. Her arms were completely covered by blood and cuts. Deep cuts. "Sujung-ah, who did this to you?!" I asked her. She looked up at me, her eyes started to tear up again. I had to ask, because I didn't know if it was her father, or if it truly was herself this time.
I pulled slightly away from her, and she looked up at me, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
This didn't look like abuse, it looked like self harm.
"Answer me! What happened?!" I rose my voice without really meaning to. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do, or how to handle the situation.
I grabbed her wrists, looking down at her arms. When I looked back into her eyes, tears had started to flow down her cheeks. Not until she started to whimper in pain, did I notice that my grip around her wrists had grown tighter and tighter.
Horrified by my own actions, I quickly let go of her wrists. There were red marks on her skin where my hands had held her.
Tears built up in my eyes as well. I broke my promise. How could I brake the most important promise I had ever made? Would she ever trust me when I did that? I told her I would never hurt her, but just now, I did hurt her.
"S- Sujung... I didn't mean to.. I- I'm so sorry!" I gasped. I put my arms around her again, trying to calm her sobs once again. A few tears escaped my eyes as I rested my head on top of hers.
"L- Let's go to the hospital and get you checked up," I said with a shaken voice.
I pulled the hoodie I was wearing over my uniform off, and put it around her shoulders. Drying away my tears, I lifted her up and walked out of the room and down the stairs.
As I passed the living room, I stole a glimpse of her father, who was sitting at the same spot as before. He didn't seem to care of the situation, he wasn't even raising his head to look over the newspaper in his hands.
I sat her down in the front passenger seat, carefully putting on her seatbelt.
Sitting down in my own seat, I looked at her. She looked terrified. Tears were still flowing from her eyes. I felt so guilty. I felt like this was only my fault, that if I hadn't hurt her like that, she wouldn't be like this.
As we entered the hospital, I sat her down on a chair, a little away from where the other people were sitting.
"Wait here, I'll be right back," I said with a soft voice. She didn't make any signs of understanding, not even looking at me.
I walked to the lady that was standing in the reception.
"Is Doctor Choi here?" I asked.
"Yes he is. Is it very urgent?" The lady asked.
"Yes, it is. It's about Kim Sujung," I too her, starting to get slightly annoyed.
She nodded in the understanding, and looked at her computer for a few seconds, then back at me.
"Can you wait for maximally ten minutes?" She asked. I nodded.
She stood up and walked in a door.
I walked back to Sujung. Her expression was empty, and only a few tears ran down her cheeks from time to time.
I squatted down in front of her, wanting her eyes to meet mine, but she refused to look at me, which made me feel even worse.
I rubbed away her tears with my thumb, but she didn't change.
After a few moments like this, I saw Doctor Choi walk out of a door. He looked at me, motioning me to take Sujung with me.
"Sujung-ah, the doctor is ready to see you," I said carefully, her bangs away from her face, but they just fell right back.
When she didn't seem like she was going to get off of the chair, she wasn't even blinking, I took her in my arms once again, and followed Doctor Choi into a nearby room.
I sat her down on a chair again, and backed a little away, leaning against the wall.
"So, Sujung, what can I help you with?" Doctor Choi asked and sat down on a chair across her.
She swallowed hard, not saying anything. Her eyes were as good as glued to the floor. "You mind to tell me what's going on?" he asked and looked in my direction.
"She cut herself," I said with a broken voice. "At least I think she did...." My voice trailed off. Images of her blood covered arms played inside my head.
"You think so or you know so?" he asked, looking serious.
"I think she did. I don't know if she did it or someone else, but her arms are covered with cuts!"
Doctor Choi looked back at Sujung.
"Sujung, can I see your arms?" he asked her with the same soft voice as always. She hesitated, then slowly nodded. I could almost not see the nod.
He carefully removed my hoodie from her shoulders, sighing deeply at the sight of her arms.
He stood up from his chair and grabbed some medical things from the shelf. He sat down again, a little closer to her this time, and started to wipe the blood off with a tissue. I could see tears grow in her eyes. Even if he was doing it carefully, it probably stung a lot.
"Has this happened more than three times before?" he asked, as he had finished cleaning her right arm. He looked up at her face that was covered in tears, understanding that she wouldn't speak. She nodded hesitantly, and I felt my heart drop. She had cut herself like this before, but no one knew about it.
It must have taken the doctor over 20 minutes, just to wipe all the blood off of her arms. Whenever he asked her questions like; why did she cut herself and exactly how many times she had done it before, she would never answer. It was like she was I mute or something. I remember how quiet she was the first day we spoke, and I remember Donggeun telling me that he had never heard her voice until yesterday. I got that she was shy, but I would assume she knew Doctor Choi well, and she had spoken to me a lot.
"There are fresh bruises on your arms, Sujung. Did you make them as well?" Doctor Choi's serious but soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at her arms. The blood was gone, but she was now covered in red long marks. In between the cuts, I could she her flesh being purple like. Not giving it a second thought, I blamed her father for it.
Just as hesitant as before, she nodded. I felt myself heat up at her lies. She shouldn't be lying about what really happened to her.
"You beat yourself up? Just like all the other times?" She knitted her eyebrows together, and nodded. Hearing how weird it sounded that she would beat herself, I would assume she got how stupid it sounded herself.
"You know, these bruises seem to be a little difficult for you to make," he told her suspiciously. I knew he didn't believe her. He didn't think she did all this to herself.
She didn't answer this time, only looked down at the floor, fresh tears stung in her eyes.
"It's all lies," I blurted out. For the first time inside the hospital, she looked straight into my eyes, looking terrified.
"What do you mean?" Doctor Choi asked me. He kept looking into her eyes for a while. Her eyes were telling me to have mercy, to not say anything about her situation, but I couldn't live like this. I couldn't live knowing that she was getting hurt by someone everyday, and blaming herself for it.
"She's not doing it herself, nor is she getting beaten that serious in school, it's her father doing everything." I took my eyes off of Sujung's. I didn't want to watch her as I broke another promise. Another trust. But I couldn't just not say it!
"Sujung, is your father the one who is doing the abuse?" he asked calmly, and looked back at Sujung, who looked right down at the floor. Tears were streaming down her face, and I immediately felt extremely bad inside. Guilt started to fill my body. She was miserably crying because I broke the promise. I was the one in fault.
When she didn't answer him, he let out a sigh.
"Did you loose your voice again?" he asked.
She lost her voice? Again? Did she loose her voice often? I didn't understand what was going on.
Again, she didn't answer, which probably was an answer of the fact that she lost her voice.
"Minhyuk, could I talk with you for a second?" he asked, and motioned me to come outside the room for a moment. I looked carefully at Sujung one last time, not wanting to leave her alone, then followed Doctor Choi out of the room.
"You are not aware of her loosing her voice several times before, am I right?" he asked as the door closed behind me. I nodded slowly. "I've called her in here from time to time since she was thirteen years old, and a few times, she didn't speak. She couldn't, because she lost her voice," he explained, "She went through some therapy, and we figured that the reason for her voice-loss was trauma."
She lost her voice due a trauma just now.... I searched my mind desperately to find an explanation.
"As far as I have understood, she's not able to speak directly to the person, who caused the trauma, for a while. "
That was when it hit me. I was the reason of her trauma, I was the one to blame after all. She didn't speak to me after I grabbed her wrists, she almost didn't look at me! I felt tears build up in my eyes once again. What was I thinking? She would Never forgive me. I had ruined everything.
"Minhyuk-Ssi, are you alright?" Doctor Choi asked with a worried expression on his face.
I swallowed hard before I spoke up with a shaky voice; "I... I was the cause... She lost her voice... because of me..."
Doctor Choi took a step closer to me.
"What do you mean? What did you do to her?" He sounded extremely worried. I swallowed hard once again and took a deep breath.
"When I saw her covered in blood, I got scared and... and I grabbed her wrists a little too hard... a-and without realising it, I was holding her too tight." Tears had begun to fall as I spoke. "I promised her I would never hurt her, but... I did... And now, she probably won't trust me!"
He laid a hand comfortingly on my shoulder, as I tried to stop myself from starting to sob. I was so disappointed in myself.
"Even if that might be the case, don't blame yourself too much. You got scared, and that was your way to react. Also, if it's true what you're saying, her father might be a very important part of her condition," he explained, and I nodded slightly. I felt slightly better by his words. "Do you know if she has acted strange or anything earlier today?"
I told him that she had awoken at 3 o'clock this morning, crying and sweating. I also explained that she had a strong fever since morning.
"I will try and talk to her, and you should go home and rest. You can come back in an hour," Doctor Choi told me, and after agreeing, I walked out of the hospital and sat down in my car.
I held my fingers tightly around the steering wheel as I drove back home, breathing hard. I had problems controlling my emotions once again, and ended up crying, thinking how much I must have hurt her. I couldn't force the guilt I was feeling away. It was slowly and painfully eating me from the inside.
The first thing I did when she finally trusted me, was to give her a reason not to. I should have watched my actions more carefully.
Finally at home, I walked straight to my room, ignoring Hyung who constantly called after me.
Closing the door behind me, I almost ripped my uniform off, quickly putting on my normal clothes.
Sujung kept running through my mind. The guilt felt more and more terrible by every second, tears streamed down my face, sobs escaped my lips. Everything seemed to be spinning around me.
I sat down on the edge of my bed, covering my face with my right hand.
"Minhyuk-ah..." Changhyuk entered my room carefully. I turned my head slightly, facing away from him. I didn't want him to see me like this. Thinking about it, he probably had never seen me in a condition like this.
He sat down beside me and took my free hand in his own hands, his thumb on the inside of my palm.
"Hyukkie, if I knew her situation was like that, I would never have taken her home. I'm really sorry," he apologized.
I shook my head, calming down slightly by the way he was comforting me.
"You didn't know, it wasn't your fault. Don't apologise," I said with a shaky voice and leaned my head onto his shoulder, letting my right hand drop to my lap.
"What wasn't my fault?" he asked softly, his hands never leaving mine.
I told him everything that had happened. I told him how I felt about hurting her and braking my promise, I told him everything, making his shoulder soaking wet by my tears in the process.
"It's going to be fine. Just talk to her and explain what happened. Give her some time," he said, squeezing my hand gently. I sniffled and dried away the tears, but they kept coming.
"Hyung, what if she won't trust me again?" I asked him. He stayed silent for a while, thinking it trough.
"You just have to give her a reason to trust you, show her that you really care for her, and that you will never do anything like that again," he said.
"You really like her that much?" he asked me
"Mm," I replied, "but It's so hard! I have no idea of what she thinks. I don't know if she likes me at all. Maybe she just finds me annoying..." My voice trailed off.
"I'm sure she doesn't see you as annoying, Minhyuk. Just give her some time. It must be really hard for her to understand that you care so much about her, when she has been treated so badly."
Changhyuk was probably the wisest person I knew. He always knew what to say to make me feel better. I was extremely lucky to have a brother like him.
"Come here," he said, taking his hands off of mine and embracing me in a big hug. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him back. "Minhyukkie, you shouldn't blame yourself too hard. Nothing of this is your fault. Everything's going to be alright," he said.
"Thank you, Hyung," I said with a muffled voice, sniffling once more.
"If you were supposed to be back in an hour, you should probably get going now," he told me, and my back gently. "Go buy some food on your way, she didn't eat, so she's probably hungry."
I nodded and pulled away from him. Standing up, I dried away my tears, begging for no more to fall.
Changhyuk followed me downstairs, and we said goodbye to each other.
Jogging back to my car, I carefully pulled out of the driveway.
She had to talk to me. I needed to hear her beautiful voice, I needed her to know that she was safe around me. There was not one thing in this whole world I wouldn't do for her. She was everything to me, but yet I didn't know how she felt. I only wanted to protect her, and I needed her to know that, that she was safe in my embrace, I needed that to live on.
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*Author's Note*
Hello^^ I updated quicker this time, you're all proud of me right? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
I introduced you to Minhyuk's brother, Changhyuk, in this chapter! Just to make it clear, I have no idea what Minhyuk's brother is called, but he showed up in that episode of BTOB Diary where Minhyuk went home to meet is family~ that was actually the same episode as his mother showed up in (yes, she was in another episode as well, but that was from B+ Diary, and it's not the same ><)
Anyways! Back on track!
As you could see, Sujung is dealing with a self harm problem. I'm sorry it turned out this way, but I think I had thy in mind since before I started to write this fic. Somehow, I'm getting mad at myself; she's struggling with so many problems, and it's all because of meㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Sujung-ah, Jeongmal Mianhabnida ㅠㅠㅠ
I'll try and update soon^_^
Remember, I'm always looking forward to your comments! Also, subscribe and Upvote if you haven't already~
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