(Sujung’s POV)

 “SUJUNG NOONA!!!”
 I was met outside the restaurant we were to eat at by a screaming Sungjae, who quickly ran over to me and embraced me in his long arms, but Minhyuk got him off of me rather quickly.

 “Be careful maknae! She only has one lung!” he warned, pointing a finger at the younger.
 “I’m sorry, I forgot for a minute…” Sungjae pouted.
“No, it’s okay,” I said, giving him a smile.

 They all seemed very excited to meet me, and I received hugs from them all, except for Ilhoon, who I simply just exchanged an awkward “hi” with and a shy smile and no eye contact.

  As we sat waiting for the food, there were no questions such as ‘how have you been’ or ‘are you feeling better’, and I was thankful for that. I knew they knew more than I really wanted them to know, but it was probably better if they understood what was going on instead of putting me in an awkward situation.

 During the time we were eating, I was actually surprised on how much they included me in their conversations. Usually, I would just sit and listen to what they said and keep my mouth closed, but they kept asking me what my thoughts were on the active subjects.

 “I’m sorry, I need the restroom,” I excused myself, rather awkwardly.
“No no! Don’t be sorry for having to use the toilet,” Changsub protested. I gave him a small smile in response.

 “You’re okay, right?” Minhyuk asked, lowering his voice. I nodded and gave him an assuring smile. “You sure?”
 “I promise,” I told him. He did not seem too sure himself, but he at least let me go.

 Finishing my business inside the restroom, my eyes landed on the window in the hall. The view outside was so beautiful, I couldn’t resist going for a moment.

 I sat down on a bench right outside of the restaurant, looking up at the sky. It was completely dark by now, but the streets were lit up by the street lights, and the stars were shining beautifully. It was not cold outside, but the fresh autumn-air felt good to breathe in.

 “What are you doing out here?” I jumped slightly as the voice appeared. “Minhyukie Hyung became worried,” Donggeun said and sat down beside of me on the bench.
 I breathed out a chuckle, “He worries all the time.”
“He has his reasons though,” Donggeun pointed out. I nodded, knowing he was completely right.

 “So what are you doing here alone? Are you okay?” I knew the question was going to come sooner or later, but as there were only the two of us, it did not feel as embarrassing. Also, I did see why he was wondering.
 “I’m fine,” I said, giving him a smile, “I just wanted to look at the sky and have some fresh air.” Donggeun nodded, seeming to understand.

 “You know, Sungmi talks a lot of you,” he said after a moment.
“She does?” I asked, taking my eyes off the sky.
 “Yeah,” he said, “She talks of you quite often. And I just want you to know that those things they did to you, they-” my eyes immediately fell to the ground, “they were inhuman, Sujung.

 You should come back to school. I miss having you there,” he said, changing the subject. He probably saw that the subject was uncomfortable to me.
 “I don’t think I’m ready yet,” I told him honestly.
“I understand it seems scary now, but if you never do it, it will only become scarier with time. You should just try and come, I won’t leave you alone,” Donggeun suggested.
 “I’ll think about it,” I told him, and looked up at the sky again.

“Kitty, are you okay? What are you doing outside in the cold?” Minhyuk had come rushing out the door and was crouching down in front of me with my hand in his within seconds.
 “We’re just talking, Minhyuk,” I told him with that smile I had become slightly more used to show him. “I am fine.”
 “But why did you go outside?” he asked, not any less worried.
“Can’t a woman enjoy the night sky without feeling sad?” Minhyuk sighed, relieved.

 “Donggeun-ah, I think you should better go back inside, Changsub-“
“I leave for just a moment, and he’s flirting with my boyfriend again?!” Donggeun burst out, standing up.
 “Yeah,” Minhyuk told him, and Donggeun immediately stormed inside.

Minhyuk cupped my face in both of his hands, looking at me for a moment. I looked back.
 “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked, once again.
“Lee Minhyuk,” I started, cupping his face in my hands as well. “I love you, and I am not lying to you. I am fine,” I told him, chuckling slightly at his worried behaviour. He smiled up at me.

 “Do you trust me or what?” I asked.
“I trust you, Sweetie,” he told me.
 “Good,” I told him and squeezed his cheeks together, making him look like a duck.

 He laughed and took his hands off me, standing up, taking me with him as I had yet not let go of him. I stood on my toes, leaning in to peck his lips before I let go as well.

 “You know what?” Minhyuk said, looking at me with a grin.
“What?” I asked, sensing there was something big.
 “We haven’t told them our big news yet,” he said, grinning even wider.
“Then… should we tell them together?” I honestly thought he had gone around the whole of South Korea, bragging about his engagement. I guess the others would have congratulated us if he had.

 Without any decent reply, Minhyuk took my hand and walked inside. We stood in front of the table, but none of them seemed to care we came back. Donggeun was busy scolding and bickering over Changsub, who didn’t seem to let it bother him as he was clinging onto a laughing Sungjae’s arm, repeating that he loved him. Ilhoon and Hyunsik were deeply discussing something while Eunkwang was playing some sort of game on his phone, not seeming too interested in what was going on around him.

 “Guys!” Minhyuk called out, voice loud, to get their attention. The lot of them fell quiet and turned their heads to look at us, rather surprised. “We have news,” he told them, beaming. They all looked at us curiously, and after a silent moment, Minhyuk held up our hands, that were still holding onto each other’s, showing off both of our rings.

 “What?! When?!” Eunkwang almost shouted, dumbfounded.
“A few days ago!” Minhyuk told him, smiling brightly.
 “Oh my god! CONGRATULATIONS!!!” Eunkwang was suddenly on his feet, jumping up and down for a moment before he embraced the both of us, smiling almost brighter than Minhyuk. 

 They congratulated us excitedly, and I found myself smiling as well. Our engagement became the main topic for a while, but I couldn’t help but notice how Ilhoon had become completely silent. 

 “Can’t you at least pretend you’re the slightest happy for them?” I heard Hyunsik whispering to Ilhoon, who looked more bothered than ever.
 “I need air…” With that, Ilhoon stood up and walked outside, leaving a bunch of confused friends behind.

 But I was not confused. I understood he must feel bad. What I did not understand was why he would hold so much grudge to what happened all those years ago, that he became mad because of it. It was such a long time ago and we even talked it through. Why could he not leave it behind? Not for my sake, but at least for Minhyuk who had been one of his closest friends for so long.

 “Don’t let it bother you, he’s just jealous,” Minhyuk said, voice lower than a moment ago, just as if he could sense my thoughts. I breathed in and nodded.

 “Jagiya, when it’s legal for us to get married, will you propose to me?” Sungjae asked cutely, leaning against Donggeun.
 “We’re still in school,” Donggeun replied, rather sharply.
“But Noona and Hyung are still in school too!” Sungjae argued.
 “Changsubie Hyung, would you stop flirting with Sungjae if we were engaged?” Donggeun asked, squinting his eyes at Changsub.  
 “Of course,” Changsub replied, serious for a change, “I wouldn’t flirt with an engaged man.”

 “Sungjae, just you wait! I’ll find a ring and propose and we’ll get married, even if it’s illegal!” Sungjae took his arms around Donggeun’s waist and squeezed him tightly, squealing happily as he did.
 “I’ll go check on Ilhoon,” Hyunsik said, standing up and walked out of the restaurant.

 “Noona!” Sungjae said, dragging my attention. “Sungmi wondered if you wanted to join us for a walk at the Han Gang Park tomorrow!”
 “Of course!” I said. I was already looking forward to it. I had not talked to Sungmi for so long. I wanted to know how she was doing.
 “Minhyukie Hyung, you’re coming too, right?”
“Sure thing!” Minhyuk said, smiling and bringing an arm around my shoulders.
 “Great! She’ll be so happy!” Sungjae said, clapping his hands together excitedly.

 After Changsub and Eunkwang had competed on who could eat the largest amount of ice cream in the shortest amount of time, and they were finished with horrible brain freezes, we all bid our goodbyes and went each our way. Ilhoon never came back inside. Hyunsik said he wasn’t feeling too well and wanted to go home

 “Do you want to go for a short walk before we drive home?” Minhyuk asked when we stood on each side of the car, about to get in.
 “Can we?” I asked, looking at him through hopeful eyes.
“Of course! Let’s go,” he said, walking over to me and taking my hand in his.

 We walked around, hand in hand, on the streets for a while, not talking about anything special really, just enjoying each other’s company.

 “Kitty, there’s something I need to tell you,” Minhyuk said. I looked up at him. “You received a letter today, and I opened it when I saw where it came from…” I furrowed my brows, and waited silently for him to continue. He seemed puzzled somehow.

 “Why didn’t you tell me there would be a court regarding your mother?” he spoke finally, sighing.
 “Everything happened so quickly that day, and I didn’t want to worry you… You always worry too much…” I told him, looking down to the ground.
“I know, I know. I just think this is something you should have told me. If you’re going to court, I want to be there with you, and I want to know what happened,” he explained.
 “I was going to tell you that you can’t come…” I kept my voice rather low as I said that.

 I could feel his stare almost burn holes through my skull.
“You what?” He sounded directly annoyed.
 “I don’t want you to be there,” I told him.
“Why don’t you want me to be there?”
 “I just don’t-“
“No, Kim Sujung, why don’t you want me to be there?” he asked again, cutting me in the middle of a bad explanation.

 “I don’t want you to know what happened, okay?” I said, looking up at him with tearful eyes.
He softened immediately when he saw the broken expression I wore.
“Let’s sit down for a moment.” He led me to sit down on a nearby bench, and as we sat there in silence for a moment, he looked at me with an apologetic yet curious look. And, as the person I was, tears were already escaping my eyes. Although I wanted to be able to hide it, I could not. It wasn’t invisible even if I had a hand in front of my eyes, constantly trying to dry the tears away.

 “Sweetie, why don’t you want to tell me what happened to your mother?” he asked, voice ten times softer than a few minutes ago.
 “I just don’t,” I said with a broken voice, refusing to look at him.
“I know there’s a reason. There’s a reason to everything,” he told me. “Can you tell me why you don’t want to tell me?” I didn’t reply to his question. I was unsure on how to tell him, and I was unsure on how to even speak of it at all.

 “Do you feel ashamed? Do you blame yourself?” I nodded, closing my eyes tightly. He knew me too well. There was no use in lying to him. He would find out somehow anyways. All I could do was keep details away from him. I could not say no when the answer was yes.

 “No… come here.” I leant against him as he brought an arm around my shoulders, his thumb carefully against my arm. “I’m sure there’s nothing to blame yourself for at all. I am sure nothing of what happened was your fault,” he said, trying to calm my nerves.
 “I could have done something!” I told him, my voice breaking in the middle once again. “She told me to wait. She told me to stand still and not go anywhere, but I could have stopped him. I could have kept him from doing it, Minhyuk-ah!” I complained, grabbing onto his shirt.

 “I’m sure there was nothing you could do about what happened,” he assured me. “You did only the right thing. You listened and stood still. If you were to try and stop that man from doing anything, you would probably be dead.”
 “Rather me than her!” I cried. “No one would miss me!”

 “Please stop saying such things…” He sounded hurt. “Stop telling me no one would notice if you died, because some people would notice. I would notice. I can’t live without you Sujung, and you know that.” I quieted down a little, taking his words more to heart. “Don’t you remember the year you were gone? I was devastated. A huge part of me was missing. I couldn’t think and I did stupid things. I even got into fights and I hit your father to the ground. That small part of me was barely living because the most important part missing was gone. You were gone. Please don’t leave and think I’ll be better off that way, because I won’t. I need you. I need you like people need oxygen. I can’t breathe without you.”

 Only silent tears could fall. I felt frozen, although the weather was not too cold. Carefully, I put my arms tightly around his waist, gripping his shirt tightly in my fingers.
 “I won’t,” I whispered. My voice did not come out with any more force than that. It was as if it was almost gone. “I promise I won’t leave you.”

-

 The next day, we went to meet Sungjae and Sungmi at the Hang Gang Park.
“EONNI!” Sungmi screamed, and jumped onto me, almost hitting the breath out of me as she closed her arms around my body and kept jumping up and down. For a moment, I was scared I would have another incident with my lungs, but my body managed not to. However, I found it funny how she reacted the exact same way as her Oppa when she finally saw me after a long time.

 “Sungmi-yah! You look amazing!” I said, smiling brightly. She did though. Her hair was cut to her waist, and she wasn’t as thin as a stick any more. Her eyes were not looking tired, they were filled with light, and her skin was not grey anymore. She was so filled with life and energy, I even became jealous.

 “Really?” she questioned, slightly insecure. I nodded, giving her my approval. She smiled so happily then. “Eonni, can you make me a head wreath?”
 “Of course I can,” I told her, and she did not hesitate to take my hand in hers and run over the park to a field of red and orange tulips, where we sat down on the edge of a fountain.

 I remember how I would, from time to time, create a head wrath out of feathers while we were still in that place. She always loved those, I understood she would love a floral one even more.

 As Sungmi picked a few flowers near us, I noticed the heavy lining of scars around her wrists. Luckily, they were not as red now, but I would imagine them staying there for the rest of her life.  Just lining her body with crucial memories. I had those kind of scars as well, and not only around my wrists, up my arms even, but I wanted her to forget what had happened. She was still younger than I was, she could still fix what needed to be fixed.

 “There is so much I want to tell you!” Sungmi said, hurriedly picking the flowers that were needed. “I’ve learned to read and write, and I keep reading books over and over again, everything is so exciting!”
 “Sungmi, that is so wonderful!” I told her, smiling brightly.
“Yes, I know!” she agreed. “And I’ve looked so much forward to see you again, but Sungjae Oppa told me you became sick and had to go to the hospital.” Her smile faded with that.

 “Yes, I had some trouble with Appa, but he’s in jail now,” I told her and started to braid the flowers together.
 “Really? What happened?” she asked, worried.
“He tried to kill me,” I told her honestly. I felt like I could tell her everything, as that was what I had been doing during that year we spent together. “Then, when I woke up at the hospital, I started seeing things again and having bad thoughts. I’m doing a lot worse than what I hoped I would when I got out.”

 “That’s so sad,” she stated. “I’m really sorry. You can still change things. I know you can.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I told her and giving her a smile as I ignored the last words of her sentence. “How are you doing at home?”
 “Appa works a lot, but Eomma is always around and watching over me when Oppa can’t be there with me,” she explained. “It doesn’t seem like Eomma and Sungjae Oppa has a very good relationship, so whenever he’s around, she becomes more easily angry and she yells at everyone, but she doesn’t do that when there’s only her and I.

 Sungjae Oppa takes me out whenever he can so I don’t stay in too much. We often walk around here at the Han Gang Park. He’s taken me out to Lotte world as well! Sometimes, when he says he’s going to take me out for dinner, we eat ice cream instead,” she giggled as she mentioned it. “And we read together every night, because I want to improve my reading quickly. Donggeun Oppa has come with us several times too. He’s really nice! He said you two were in the same class…?” I nodded and let her go on. “He’s even helped me memorise a few words in English.”

 I noticed how Sungjae and Minhyuk kept their distance as we sat together and talked, but they still kept watch over us. It felt somewhat as if we were being babysat of some sort.

 As I finished the head wreath, I handed it over to her and let her have a look at it before she put it on top of her head.
 “It’s so beautiful! Thank you so much!” she said, almost tearing up.
“Don’t thank me, it’s no big deal,” I said, smiling at her gently. “It suits you. You look really pretty.”

 She smiled brightly at me for a while, admiring the feeling of having a real flower head wrath on her head, but then turned more serious.
 “There is something I think I’m doing wrong,” she confessed.
“What is it?” I asked, becoming more concerned about her.
 “Sometimes, when I make a mistake or do something the wrong way, I feel really anxious and I get so scared someone will beat me up or punish me,” she said.

 I smiled gently at her. “You’re not doing anything wrong. That is completely normal for a person like you, who have been locked up throughout almost your whole life,” I assured her.
 “But then, I am afraid of being alone and if it’s too dark, I become really scared and freaked out.”
 “That’s not strange either. You shouldn’t worry about those things. Some things, like those, will stay with you for a while, but I promise, in a few years, they have probably completely vanished.”

 “I’m just scared it’s bothering my family. Sometimes, I even sleep on the couch while Eomma is working, because I can’t sleep alone. I’m always scared I’ll be dragged back to that place,” she said, wearing a pained expression.
 “I promise you that Sungjae and your Eomma does not bother about that. They understand what you’re going through and they will help you and look after you no matter what.”

-

 Sungmi and I were not able to spend more than one and a half hour together, before she had to attend another reading lesson. At first, I was scared they were putting too much pressure on her with all the lessons, but Sungmi was so eager to learn and there was almost nothing else she wanted to do.

 I was very happy for her. She had become so much better in just a short amount of time. I only wished I could do the same thing. Become better. At least for Minhyuk’s sake. I owed him that much.

*Author’s Note*

Here you go guys^^ I am super spry it took a long time to edit this chapter, but I’ve gone through a lot >_<+

 No need to worry tho! I am recovering quite well, and I am even excited for Christmas!! Speaking of Christmas, did you guys hear You can cry? The MV was so cute and I simply died at Minhyuk’s part!!! Also, my mum got me a kitten! He’s name is Castiel  and he loves me, haha xD He sleeps beside of me in my bed every night~~

 Anyways! Sujung will become a lot better soon, as I myself is doing better. As I have said before, I am not good at putting my personal life outside of my writing, which is a pain in the :C

 Comment your thoughts on the chapter, please <3 see you sooon~~

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