Back At School

Found You, Saved You

 

(Minhyuk's POV)
 
I sat in my car, on my way to Donggeun's house. If he asked me, I would gladly pick him up before school, which I was about to do right now. 
 
I parked outside his house, and waited for him to enter the car. It didn't take long before he came, and to my big surprise, Sungjae seated himself in the front passenger seat. 
 
"You slept over?" I asked him surprised. 
"Yeah, but you can't tell Eomma that!" He told me. 
"Why did you run away this time?" I asked with a sigh. 
 
Sungjae used to run away from home when he didn't get what he wanted. Him and Ilhoon were both such spoiled kids. The only difference between the two of them was, Sungjae was really nice and charming, as well as being a punk, while Ilhoon was really arrogant and rude. 
 
"Eomma says I'm immature, and that I'm too spoiled, and she doesn't want to give me any more money!" He said with a pout. 
"Jagiya, you are immature and spoiled..." Donggeun said as he leaned forward in the middle of the back seat, making Sungjae look very upset. "But that doesn't mean I don't love you! You're perfect to me," Donggeun quickly added. 
 
Sungjae blushed at his words and they kept flirting for a moment, making me frown a little of their cheesiness. 
"Donggeun-ah," I called out after a minute. 
"Yes Hyung?" Donggeun said, and quickly turned his attention on me. 
"You're in the same class as Sujung, right?" He nodded. " I want you to talk to her, and let her know that you don't hate her. You know, accompany her a little at school while I can't."
 
Everything was silent for a moment, until Donggeun opened his mouth again.
"You mean, be her friend?" he asked me unsure. 
"Yes, that is exactly what I mean!" I said happily. I was glad he understood what I wanted this quickly. 
"Sure! I mean, why not? If you like her so much, I guess she can't be as bad as everybody says," he said with a smile. It made me so happy to hear that he would try and be friendly towards her. 
 
 
As we arrived at the schools parking lot, I parked my car on my favourite spot. We walked into the school to see the other four guys already standing at our usual meeting spot in the main hall. 
 
I went to stand beside Eunkwang, as he was my closest friend.
"WHAT?!" Ilhoon suddenly screamed out, making all of us turn our gazes in his direction by his sudden shouting. "He's doing what?! Minhyuk Hyung! Are you seriously going to force Donggeun Hyung to be friends with 'The Creature'!?" 
 
I thought for a few seconds, trying to give some sense in what he was saying, and I finally realised what had happened. 
Sungjae must have told Ilhoon that I asked Donggeun to be friends with Sujung, and of course, Ilhoon completely freaked out about it. He hated her, she was probably the person he hated the most on earth, and I really couldn't understand why he was like this towards her. He always bullied her. 
 
"She's not some weird thing, stop calling her that!" I said to him and gave him a mad look. 
"Yes, she is, and you're going to force Donggeun Hyung to be her friend!?" He yelled. 
 
I looked at him for a second, before taking a step towards him threateningly.
"You're all going to be her friend. Especially you! I don't want you to ever bully her again, you're going to be nice towards her. You should obey me as your Hyung, I'm two years older than you," I told him, my voice flowing with danger.
Ilhoon took a step towards me as we'll.
"I'm not going to be her friend! I don't care what you say, even if you're my Hyung," he said back, staring down at me. 
 
We kept standing there, death staring at each other, until Eunkwang came between us and pushed us apart. 
"Guys, you gotta stop this! Soon, you're not even going to be friends. Please stop fighting!" He pleaded. 
Lately, there has been a few fights between me and Ilhoon because of Sujung. I just couldn't understand why he hated her so much. 
 
"Speaking of Kim Sujung, here she comes," Hyunsik said and pointed at the entrance door. All seven of us turned our heads in the direction he was pointing, and just as he said, Sujung entered the door. 
Something I noticed was, she was holding her stomach, bending slightly forwards. The sight of her made me worry at once. 
 
"Kim Sujung-ah!" I called out. She completely froze at the spot and looked at me, her eyes looking frightened. 
I quickly walked over to where she stood, scared she might run away and hide. 
 
"Hi, Kitty," I said as I approached her. 
"H-hi," she stuttered back, looking down at the ground. There had to be something wrong. The way she was acting wasn't exactly unfamiliar, but it made me worry. 
 
"Are you hurt?" I asked her, and squeezed my hands down her body to check if she was hurt anywhere. When my hands reached for her stomach she pushed me away. 
"I- I'm fine, please stop touching me", she said with a low voice. 
 
Through the few days we had spent together, I had noticed that she stuttered whenever she was either feeling uncomfortable, hurt or unsure, and right now as she spoke, she was stuttering. 
 
"You're not fine, tell me what happened," I said, and raised her head up with my right hand, for her to look at me. Her eyes were somehow filled with tears. 
We kept looking into each others eyes, until tears started to spill over and she tried to push me away and walk past me. 
 
I quickly took her in my arms, regretting whatever I did to make her sad. 
"I'm sorry, sweetie, don't cry," I said and held her head close to my chest, trying to make her feel safe.  "You can tell me what happened later, right now I have to introduce you to someone." She looked up at me, looking slightly unsure. 
 
"Donggeun-ah, could you come over here for a second?" I called out to Donggeun, who came running at once. "Sujung-ah, you probably know who this is, it's Shin Donggeun, from your class," I introduced him, as I pulled her out of my grip. 
She brushed away her tears, and looked up at Donggeun. He smiled at her and gave her a friendly wave with his hand as he said hello. 
 
"What is going on?" She looked back at me, with sadness in her eyes. 
"Nothing's going on! Donggeun here is going to be your friend, and accompany you while I can't," I told her and brushed her bangs away from her eyes. 
She kept completely silent, and after just a few seconds, the school bell rang. 
 
"We gotta go, Hyung," Donggeun said and started to drag Sujung along with him down the hall. 
"I'll see you later!" I called after her, before I went to my own classroom with Eunkwang. 
 
 
As the short brake came, I was just sitting inside our classroom with Eunkwang, chatting happily, until he decided to change the subject,
"Minhyuk-i, what is actually happening to Sujung? I know she gets bullied a lot, but it seems to me that there's more than just that."
 
I became quiet for a moment. Was it okey for me to tell him about Sujung's father? He was my best friend, and he had never told anything to anyone about what I told only him... Of course it was okey to tell him. Eventually, the other guys would know as well.
 
"The thing is, her father is abusing her," I said, lowering my voice. His eyes widened and his mouth hung slightly open. He didn't even say anything, he got completely shocked. "I don't think he is doing it ually, but he keeps hurting her, beating her up, you know."
"How can anyone do that?!" He yelled out, standing up from his chair. People around us started to stare, and I quickly pulled him down to sit back on his chair. 
"Lower your voice, you can't tell anyone!" I said, my voice only a whisper. 
"She must really live a though life..." He stated, looking plainly into thin air, wondering.
 
"Hyung, can you help me take care of her?" I asked him, looking at him with puppy eyes. "I don't think I can do it alone."
"Of course! She seems like a nice girl. Personally, I've never had anything against her, but you know, when people tells you someone is weird, I automatically believed them. But she can't be that weird, if you like her so much! Of course I'll do my best and help you. She doesn't deserve to suffer like this," he said. 
 
I got so happy when I heard he was willing to accept her, I even jumped onto his lap and hugged him tightly, yelling 'thank you' a thousand times. Now even more people were staring. 
 
Suddenly, our teacher entered the classroom, making everybody rush to their seats and turn silent at once. 
She had this effect on us, even if she was really nice, she could be a horrible monster if anyone did something to displease her. 
 
 
I studied very hard the whole time until the school bell rang out for lunch. As quickly as never before, I ate my lunch before running to Sujun, Ilhoon and Donggeun's classroom. 
I burst into the room, making the whole class look weirdly at me. 
Casually, I walked into the room, giving some of the 'what-are-you-looking-at' stares as I did so. 
 
Ilhoon and Donggeun were eating their lunch together. 
"Where's Sujung?" I asked as I looked around the class room for her, but she was nowhere to be seen. 
"Aish, are you still at her?" Ilhoon asked me annoyed, his mouth filled with food. 
"Donggeun, did you talk with her?" I asked Donggeun, completely ignoring Ilhoon. 
"Yes, I did. It doesn't seem like anything is wrong with her, like everybody says," he told me. I was happy he didn't find her weird any more. 
 
"Why didn't you keep her here until I came." I made a pout and sat down lazily at the nearest chair. 
"I didn't know I was supposed to keep her here... It didn't seem like she wanted to be here, and I don't want to force her to do anything," he replied. 
Ilhoon let out an annoyed sigh. 
"If you really need to know where she is, she's probably behind the school, by that overgrown lake. If she's not, don't come and talk to me about her, I don't wanna hear it!" Ilhoon spat at me. 
 
I gave him a death stare before leaving their classroom, and running to the backside of the school. 
As I passed the corner of the school, I could spot Sujung sit on the ground a few meters away, leaning against the school wall, looking at the overgrown lake. 
 
"Why are you sitting here alone?" I asked her, and sat down beside her. She jumped slightly of my sudden appearance. 
"I just wanted to be somewhere quiet," she replied emptily, not taking her eyes off the lake. 
"What do you think of Donggeun? He's really nice, right?" She nodded her head in response. 
She was so quiet, I didn't really know what to say, the atmosphere was really awkward. 
 
"...she's probably not even here, let's just go back," I heard a familiar voice say from not too far away. 
"You're such a coward!" another voice said, not so familiar. 
A few seconds later, five boys from the class under mine came around the corner. 
"Hyu-Hyung...?!" Changsub stuttered in shock. Luckily, it was only Changsub from my gang. The only lucky thing about that, was that he didn't dare to touch Sujung, he just followed the other boys. 
 
I stood up to face the younger boys. The funny thing was, all of them were taller than me. I really hated being so short. Luckily, Eunkwang was just as short as me, so I didn't need to be short alone. 
"And what is your intention to do here?" I asked the boy in the front.
"Hyung, I told them we shouldn't come here, I told them we should leave her alone!" Changsub defended himself at once. 
"Firstly, I didn't ask you, and secondly, you're still here, so just shut up," I spat back at him. 
 
"Minhyuk Sunbae-Nim, just leave and let us do our job," the guy in the front said, breaking the joints in his fingers. I quickly grabbed the collar of his shirt and brought him close, our noses almost touching each others. 
"Would you like it if I bullied you like you bully her, huh?" I shouted in his face, making sure he could sense my anger through his whole body. 
 
His eyes were focusing on the ground and refused to meet mine. 
"You wouldn't! You wouldn't like it if I treated you the exact way you're treating her! Now go away before I consider doing so!" I threw the guy in my hands on the ground, not even regretting it a little. "And Changsub-i, I never want to see nor hear about you intending to hurt her, you got that?"
"Yes, Hyung!" Changsub said obediently as he helped the other person up from the ground. 
 
All five of them ran away and I sat back down again beside Sujung with a sigh. 
"Minhyuk-ah, I don't think you should have done that..." She mumbled. My heart suddenly started to speed up a little as she spoke, and I looked at her  with big eyes. "What...?" She looked back at me as if I was crazy or something. 
"You called me'Minhyuk-ah'! You only said my name!" I said, sounding as excited as ever. 
 
I hugged her tightly. I was so happy! She finally cut off the 'Ssi' part. 
We sat in this position for a long time, until the school bell rang again, signalising new classes.
"Let's just skip class," I told her, still holding tightly onto her. 
"Let's just skip school. Nobody would care if I came or not, anyways," she said, sounding tired. 
 
I pulled slightly away, still holding her in my arms, and looked at her with sad eyes. 
"I care... If you're not here with me, I will be very sad. Nothing is the same without you any more." I was met with silence. She didn't say anything, and time seemed to stop as we sat there on the ground. 
 
I looked at her beautiful eyes, and soon my eyes landed on her well formed lips. Slowly, I started to lean closer without really realising what I was doing. She didn't move at all, she was completely frozen by my actions. Soon, our faces were only inches apart, a little closer now, and I would finally get the long awaited kiss that I wanted...
"There you are!" Eunkwang's voice snapped me back to reality, and I quickly pulled away from Sujung. "I've been looking for you. Teacher-Nim is really angry since you didn't arrive for class," he continued. 
 
I stood up, brushing away the dirt on my pants, looking annoyed up at Eunkwang. 
"Great timing, Hyung..." I told him with a low and irritated voice. 
"Sujung-ah, your teacher is probably wondering where you are also, you should go back to your class as well," Eunkwang said and smiled softly at her. 
"I don't want to..." she said as she looked down on her lap. 
 
"Wait for me here, then. I'll be here as soon as school is finished, so don't go anywhere," I told her and bent down beside her, taking her hands in my own. "Also, your still coming with me home!"
She seemed to be a little awkward about what happened just now. I couldn't blame her though.
I kissed her forehead, before leaving for class with Eunkwang. 
 
"Lee Minhyuk!" my teacher screamed at me as I entered the classroom. Eunkwang stooped for his seat, leaving me alone with the angry lady in front of me. "Where have you been?" Her voice was stern and I could swear I saw fire in her mad eyes. 
"I was behind the school, Teacher-Nim," I said, bending my head down in apology. 
"He was making out with his new girlfriend!" I heard Hackyeon call out, making the whole class laugh. I guess everybody, except for Eunkwang... Why wasn't he helping me in this?!
 
"Minhyuk-Ssi, you do know making out on school is against the school rules, don't you?" she asked me. I could hear alarm in her voice. 
"I wasn't making out with anybody, I don't even have a girlfriend," I told her, looking irritated over my shoulder at Hackyeon. 
 
"You will stay here for one hour after school," she said. I immediately looked back at her, my eyes wide. 
"No!" I protested. "I can't stay after school!"
"And why not?" I turned completely silent. Everything was silent. I didn't want to say that I was taking Sujung with me home in front of everybody, maybe that would make her situation worse. 
"Because I have something to do," I said plainly, looking down at the floor. 
 
"Well, you should have thought if that before, shouldn't you? Now, sit down and let me finish this lesson." I quietly found my seat beside of Eunkwang, understanding that I had nothing to say that would change anything. So here I was, stuck at school one more hour than everybody else. 
 
 
(Eunkwang's POV)
 
After three long hours, the school bell finally rang out for freedom. 
"Eunkwang-i Hyung, can you accompany Sujung for an hour?" Minhyuk asked me, as I just had packed all my stuff. 
"Sure," I answered him, giving him a comforting smile. I didn't have anything against spending some time with her, if that helped her. 
"Wait for me outside the school, I'll try and get away from here as soon as possible..." He muttered the last words, probably not wanting our teacher to hear him. 
I agreed and went out to look for Sujung behind the school again. 
 
She sat at the exact same spot as when I left her, only now, she was holding a fist to her chest, gasping for air. I quickly ran to her and sat down on my knees beside her. 
"Sujung-ah, what's wrong?" I asked her worried. 
"Can't.... Breath...!" she managed to get out. 
 
In half panic, I tried to figure out what was going on, and then it hit me. She had a panic attack! My brother used to have those before. 
 
"Sujung, look at me," I told her. She couldn't move, her iris was completely black and her eyes wide as se kept staring into thin air. 
"Can you hear me?" I asked her. She nodded slightly. I started to run my hand up and down her back to try and calm her. "Do the same as me.... That's right, good," I said and instructed her how to breath. 
 
After a few minutes, her breathing became more or less normal again, and everything became silent, but suddenly she started to cry. 
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice full of guilt. 
"What are you sorry for?" I asked her, still her back. 
"For braking down in front of you... I didn't want to cause you any trouble." I stopped what I was doing for a spilt second. 
"Sujung-ah, you weren't causing me any trouble. My brother used to have panic attacks before, so I'm actually quite used to it," I assured her with a smile. 
 
"Let's go get your things," I said and stood up, holding my hand out for her. She dried away her tears and took my hand. 
We went to her classroom and got all her things, then sitting down on a bench outside the school. The whole time she followed me obediently, not even asking why I was there and not Minhyuk. 
 
"Where is Minhyuk-Ssi...?" She asked, braking the silence. The long awaited question finally came. 
"He got detention for coming late to class," I told her with a sigh. 
"He got detention... Because of me?" I turned my head and looked at her. Guilt could be seen all over her face. She looked so sad, it even made me feel bad in my stomach. 
"It wasn't your fault, it was his own responsibility. Don't feel so bad about it," I said, trying to comfort her a little. 
 
I took out my phone and sent a text to Minhyuk;
"Sujung had a panic attack, and she asked for you."
My text might have caused him to worry, but if he was worried, maybe he could find a way to get out faster. 
Suddenly, I received a text back. I didn't think I would get one back, as he was with our crazy teacher. 
"She had a panic attack?! She asked for me? Is she alright? Just wait, I'll get out of this prison! I'll be outside as soon as I can!!!!"
 
I looked over at Sujung. She was staring at the road, her eyes following a bird that was flying like crazy over the cars. 
"I told Minhyuk you had a panic attack," I told her. Her gaze dropped to the ground under her feet.  "He says he's going to be here as soon as he can. He seems very worried."
 
She kept silent. Actually, she didn't speak much. 
"Sujung-ah, why do almost never speak?" I asked her. 
"I'm just scared I might say something wrong," she said, her voice low. 
"Hyunsik didn't think you could speak until today," I told her. A half grin crept around her lips, which made me smile. I hadn't seen any other expression than a sad one on her face. 
 
"You know, Minhyuk-i gets really frustrated with you 'cause you keep calling him 'Minhyuk-Ssi'," I told her. She turned to look at me, a surprised look on her face. 
"He gets... Frustrated?" Her eyes were slightly wide. 
"Yeah, he hates it when you call him that," I told her. 
Her eyes suddenly landed on the ground again, and she looked like she was in deep thoughts. 
 
"He really likes you. The only thing he talks of is you. All the time, he keeps being worried about how your doing." Her head turned in my direction again. She looked shocked, as she couldn't believe what I said. "He started liking you two or three months ago, and even if he has so much courage, he wasn't able to talk to you, because he liked you so much."
 
She kept staring at me, like I was telling a horror story. 
"Didn't he tell you he liked you..?" I asked. If he hadn't told her yet, I was truly in big trouble!
"He did, but... It just seems so strange," she said, her voice almost only a whisper. 
 
"Omona! Are you all right?!" Minhyuk just plopped out of nowhere and bent down on his knees in front of Sujung, cupping her face with his hands. 
I jumped off the bench, suddenly laying on the ground, holding my chest in shock. 
"Where did you come from?" I gasped, almost out of breath. 
"Hyung, your too easily scared," he chuckled as I stood up, holding the bench in support. "I came from class, pabo."
 
"Now, how is my kitty feeling?" Minhyuk asked Sujung with a worried expression. 
"I'm okey," she answered, blushing slightly. 
Watching them now, they looked like a cute couple. I wondered what they actually had. Maybe Minhyuk was the only person who had those strong feelings for the other person, maybe Sujung didn't really like him in that way.  The thought made me feel sorry for the both of them, but they looked so cute, I couldn't help but smile. 
 
"I think I'll be heading home now," I said and stood up from the ground. 
"Thank you for taking care of my kitty, Hyung~" Minhyuk sang and hugged me tightly. I laughed slightly of him. 
"Any time, Hyukkie! But you gotta let me go now..." I laughed. Minhyuk let go of his grip on me, and we bid our goodbyes. The two of them walked down to the parking lot. If I wasn't mistaken, Minhyuk was taking her home to meet his mother. I couldn't help myself but to wonder how that would go...
 
 
---------------------------
 
Authors Note::
 
Hello again~~
I'm sooo sorry for not updating, I've just been extremely busy. Hope I make it up to you with this chapter^^
 
So... In this chapter the Penjae tag finally showed up! Also, even if Minhyuk is the main character and has a thing with the original character, I had to put in some Minkwang moments as well~~
 
As you probably noticed, I put N from VIXX (Hackyeon) in Eunkwang and Minhyuk's class, since they are the same age. So if you notice any other kPop celebrities but BTOB in some of the classes, it's just because I need more random people in the story, and I'm just to lazy to make my own character><
 
Please comment what you think~~
I'll try and update soon!!!! 
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

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LunaStar94
#1
Chapter 29: So sorry to hear that. I know you can recover so, fighting!
maidhiah
#2
Chapter 28: Thanks for the update author-nim :) i hope sujung will recover soon T.T pity her
maidhiah
#3
Chapter 27: Yay!!! Thanks for the update author-nim. Yeahhh me too. I really excited with BtoB comeback. They all look so damn good, handsome and hot!!!! Hope they can get first win. #BtoB_Back_Again
LunaStar94
#4
Chapter 27: Yay you're back! i was getting worried! And omg yes they're doing the do heheheh

also im hella excited for the comeback i cant wait TT
SuperDreaming
#5
Chapter 26: Well I'm gonna wait till you update the chapter!^^ Even if I have to wait months~
kikkawa
#6
Chapter 25: Finally was able to reaaaad!!! Gosh didnt take me long
All in all i liked it! I think is one of the very first chapters where sujung's issues arent the main thing, and thats awesome! I also like how some of the spotlight is switching towards minhyuk, it will make him a less flat character, which is always important, i am really curious about his father really, there's just something fishy about him, dont ask me why
And last! You like john green?!?!? It's one of my favourite writers! I truly liked looking for alaska (they'll be doing a film soon) but my favourite was probably paper towns
LunaStar94
#7
As a person who has cronic depression and social anxiety, I'm so happy that I found a fanfiction that is so related to me. I feel Sujung, really. I'm glad she has Minhyuk beside her and of course Hyukkie :D Cats helps depression more then antidepressants since I, too have three cats and stoppes taking antidepressants! Any way, I finished it at one night and I'm craving for some more heheh As for you, our lovely author, if there's something I have learnt in my 20 years of life, no one is worth for more than us ourselves. I'm so glad that you're recovering and I want you to try harder, for no one but yourself. The future is ahead of us and there will be amazing things that will happen to us one day. I promised myself that I'm not going to die before seeing those idols I adore in person. I at least should thank them in some way because they are the reason I smile at the end of the day :D
Tho I feel like I'm no one to lecture you, I really don't want you to feel sad, as I know how bad it is :)
chensadamsapple #8
Chapter 24: Those two chapters... She's finally recovering! Even though the s at school are doing her great injustice!
Really, I liked Sujung's and Minhyuk's conversation about how Minhyuk doesn't want her to leave.
And if the reader hasn't noticed by now, Minhyuk, his family and his friends, but mostly Minhyuk alone, are Sujung's only reason of living anymore. This story holds a very strong message: someone shouldn't be feeling worthless, someone shouldn't be feeling bad about oneself, someone shouldn't be feeling like not being a burden anymore only by killing oneself and someone should never stop believing in oneself. This is really one of the best stories I ever read, because it actually has a meaning, when other fanfictions don't, and it makes me very proud that your foreword or your description of the story managed to get me hooked and make me want to read all of this, even if it takes a lot of times because those are a lot of chapters. But I don't think it would be as good if there were very short chapters.
I thought that Peniel exploded when that (even though even es would be ashamed that something such as THAT would be called a ) was talking again (if you can even call that talking) but it was a pleasant surprise that Ilhoon saved her and stopped her talking. Also, Ilhoon's using strong language was quite fitting right there. He actually tried to make his point clear by cussing, so it's okay. And he didn't just give up when the THING kept saying things against his statements. That showed he was strong-willed and convinced that he could turn the events around and make the crowd feel guilty etc.
I slightly smiled and started tearing up when she thought about the whole situation, asking herself what if she really wasn't the one in fault. She believed in Minhyuk's encouraging words and gained confidence by hearing it from Minhyuk, because he is the only one who can actually make her feel to be allowed to having been brought to life in the 1st place.
kikkawa
#9
Chapter 24: Oh my ilhoon feeeeels!!!! Over the chart, i mean i had been having feels for him ever since the last comeback (and he dressed up as harry potter, that got me) and now this, he may kick sungjae down the list!
I truly loved this chap, even if it was angsty i could see how it's starting to become a happier story, which is great, i loved your writing through ilhoon's speech
Also, i am glad sujung is growing some confidence because that means you are too!! I'm proud for you because of that (not minhyuk but it's better than nothing right?)
I hope your exams go weeeell!!
kikkawa
#10
Chapter 23: Reeeead! Weird that aff didnt warn me about you updating!
Anyway i loved it! This chapter feels so much more optimistic and happier, it's a nice change, i specially lived peniel in this one...and the poor ilhoon...broke my heart
On another line, you got a kitten!!! I am so jealous!! I want one too but my parents wont allow one in house T.T
Oh and i want to congratulate you cause your writing has improved! You dont make as many mistaked and the story flows better, you're doing a good work!
And about your personal life mingling with your story, thats completely normal and happens to all writers, i do it too, i mean in my fic ha in is basically myself (improved in some aspects of course) so don't really worry about it, i personally find it therapeutical, kind of like letting all the bad things written on paper and burying them there, and being able to write what you want for yourself before it happens kind of makes it easier to visualize right?