(Sujung’s POV)

 “Are you done packing?” Minhyuk asked, walking inside my room with his hands in the front-pockets of his jeans.
 “Almost,” I told him, putting another stack of books into the large box on the floor. He chuckled lightly upon seeing another full box of books. This was the third one.

 Minhyuk had smoothly graduated and applied for the university. We were now almost finished moving our things into our new apartment. Things seemed very bright. Almost too good to be true. Sometimes, I would fear that, because my situation was so stable at the moment, it could not mean anything but a sad ending. Of course, I tried avoiding that thought.

 The trial against my father had been delayed. It was supposed to take place in February, but instead, the trial was where I was headed, on this sunny day in July, after packing my last belongings.

 “Have you changed your mind yet?” He walked closer to me, and I turned to look at him.
 “About what?” I asked.
“About letting me attend the trial,” he said, taking my hands in his as he fully approached me.

 I bit my lip lightly. I had thought of it, of course, but I was very unsure of what to do. He seemed so hurt when I first told him not to come. However, this was about me, not about him, nor about my feelings for him. It was about my feelings towards my father. I wanted the little revenge I could have, and dared to take. If I knew Minhyuk was listening to everything I said, I would not be able to confess all the things I wanted to say.

 “Promise me that you won’t be there.” I looked up at him and held his hands a little tighter. He gave me a smile.
 “If that is what you want, then I won’t come,” he said, leaning closer to give me a small peck on my forehead. I smiled back at him, appreciating that he let it go so easily.

 “Eomma is going with you, right?” I nodded my head at this. “Good. I don’t want you to be completely alone,” he sighed.
 “It’s a trial,” I pointed out. “I’ll be surrounded by people.”
“I know,” he laughed. “I just want to be assured that you have emotional support!”

 “I’ll be fine,” I told him and brought my hands around his waist, leaning my head against his chest.
 “I didn’t say I doubted in you,” Minhyuk said, pulling his arms around my shoulders, holding me close. “I know you’ll be fine.”

 He rested his head on top of mine. Whenever we had a moment like this, I wanted time to stop. I wanted to stay this way forever, but I knew I could not. I was aware time could not stop. Sadly.

 -

 “You did very well,” Daehyun said, holding an arm around my shoulders as we walked to the car. The judge had even taken his time to compliment me, telling me how strong and brave I was, after the court. I was still holding the ice-bag against the right side of my face, which had become rather blue by now.

 “You shouldn’t feel bad about any of this,” Daehyun told me when we were both seated in the car. “Don’t think about what he said or did to you and blame yourself for it. You’re not worthless, neither are you weak.”

 “Maybe not…” I sighed. “I just wish none of this ever happened.” Daehyun started the car and began driving away from the large building.
 “Your life has been worse than the saddest book, honestly, but I think you’ll be okay from now on,” she said. “You won’t have to worry about what your father thinks anymore. He’s too far away, and I’m positive you won’t hear from him ever again.”

 After a while of driving, she stopped outside the apartment complex that possessed Minhyuk and my very own place.
 “I’ll come visit you guys tomorrow,” Daehyun said, “I have few things to do today.”
 “I’ll tell him,” I said, smiling. “Thank you for coming with me. I really appreciate it.”
 “Of course, no problem!” She brought me in for a one last hug before I opened the door.

 “Keep ice against that, by the way,” she said, stopping me from closing the door after myself.
 “Minhyuk’s going to freak out,” I groaned.
“He’ll understand,” Daehyun comforted. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
 “Yeah, drive safely.”

 “Kim Namtae was earlier charged for attempted murder, abduction and mental as well as physical abuse,” the judge started. He looked at me before continuing. “Miss, in your medical files it said something about your uterus being violently hurt from . However, it said nothing about who the was. Did your father ever abuse you ually? Was this his doing?”

 I was shaking in my seat, and I took a quick glance over at my father. He stared at me with hatred, as if he was warning me not to tell on him.  I took a deep breath and looked back at the judge.

 “Yes, it was because of him,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. My eyes were blank and watery. It hurt to admit this in front of other people, not to mention to him who did it. It was one of the hardest things I had experienced.

 The atmosphere had become tense, and the man on the judge’s right hand whispered something to the judge. Afterwards, the judge nodded and turned his attention to me once again.

 “The main reason this court accoutred today is because of charges towards Kim Namtae of murdering your mother, his wife. Was your father violently abusing your mother before this happened?”

 I could not hold it in any more, tears spilled and I hid my face behind my hands. The judge told me, calmly, to take my time. I tried to pull myself together quickly, but it was hard. The pressure was huge and I was scared.

 “As long as I can remember, he hurt her, my mother,” I said. My voice and body was trembling, but I knew it was necessary to continue talking. “She was always covered in bruises and there were times she needed to stay in hospital because of broken bones. Then, in the middle of the night, she took me out of the house. She was really scared and she was crying. She told me to stay behind the house until she came to get me, and since I was very young, I did as she told me to do.

 She never came to find me, so the next morning I went inside to look for her, and-“ I stopped telling my story, only to breathe for a moment. The judge was very patient with me and allowed me to take all the time I needed. However, I could feel my father’s cold stare burn into my skin.

 “When I searched for her inside, I found her in the basement… lifeless.” I was very close to breaking down there and then. I was so close to an anxiety-attack, I did not know where to escape. There was no escape. I could not run out of the room.

 “He had beat her to death with a baseball-bat,” I finally finished talking, and was left as a sobbing mess.

 “There is no proof that this is true!” My father’s defender stood up from his chair. “In her medical files, there are also listed several mental illnesses, Schizophrenia among them, which means she may have imagined all of that.”
 “It also says she suffers from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder,” the woman on the judge’s left hand said, protesting against him. “This means she has undergone one or several traumatic episodes.

 We do know the mother and wife, Lee Yeseul, was beaten to death and found in the basement, which perfectly matches the description the victim has given.”

 This raised my hopes. My anxiety was slightly calming down. My father’s defender did not say anything. He seemed to be rather defeated. There was nothing more he could say to defend my father.

 The judge used a moment to think. He then hit the hammer he was holding, against the table.
 “Kim Namtae is hereby sentenced to eleven more years, adding onto his already ten years, making it twenty-one years total in prison on the charges for murder, attempted murder, physical, mental and ual abuse against wife and daughter, and abduction. The case is now closed.” He hit the table yet another time, and the people around me started folding their papers and closing their laptops. The audience stood up to leave the room.

 I stood up as well and walked away from the chair. I had barely walked a few meters before I heard a roar behind of me and, suddenly, I was knocked to the floor.

“Don’t you own any shame?” My Father was suddenly hovering over me and holding me down against the floor. “We agreed not to bring this up, you useless piece of !”

 He kicked his knee right in my stomach and hit my face rapidly, as he held me down.
 “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I cried, trying to escape his rough grip.

“Someone, get him off!” the judge yelled through the room. Security guards were already trying to drag him away, but his fury had taken hand over his body and made him somewhat stronger.

 “You’re just like your mother,” he screamed. “Worthless!” My head was roughly crashed against the floor. “Weak!” He was partly dragged off me by now, which gave him the chance to kick me roughly in the stomach with his boots.

 “Kim Namtae is now charged for public violence and is viewed as a public threat!” the judge screamed over my father’s loud yelling, banging his hammer against the table repeatedly. “Another seven years are hereby added to his time of zoning in prison!”
 “I am going to make you pay for this, Kim Sujung!” he shouted as he was dragged out of the room. I could hear his screaming and yelling even after the doors wore closed.

 I pressed the code to open the door of our new apartment. It felt a little exciting, thinking I had a place for myself that I could share with the one I truly loved. This also gave me a chance to be a little more independent.

 The ice bag, I had thrown away on my way in. I knew it would hurt the next day, but I did not want it to drag any attention. I wanted to keep my face hidden for as long as possible.

 I could hear voices coming from the kitchen, and I could immediately recognise them as Donggeun and Sungjae.

 “We should get ourselves a place like this, too. It’s nice,” Sungjae said.
“What are you talking about? You’re too young to move out,” Donggeun said back. Sungjae let out a sigh. This was so typical of them. Sungjae would dream himself away from earth and Donggeun would brutally drag him back into reality. Although, there were times when they were both high on their dreams.

 “Hello,” I said quietly as I walked inside the kitchen. Donggeun and Sungjae became pale the moment they saw me.
 “Noona…!” I quickly put a finger in front of my lips, shaking my head to keep them quiet. Minhyuk had not turned his head yet, and I was quick to embrace him from behind so he would not see my face. I did not want to make a scene the moment I came back. I was already exhausted. 

 “Was it okay?” Minhyuk asked, unaware of my blue face as he reached an arm to my short hair. 
 “Let’s talk about it later,” I whispered, not wanting to drag Donggeun or Sungjae’s attention to my court attendance. Although they probably knew I came from there.

 “Noona, can I move in with the two of you?” Sungjae asked, luckily not questioning anything, and I immediately laughed.
 “Why would you want that?” I asked back, looking at him. “Can’t you stay at Donggeun’s place? I think you would like that better.”
 “Sungjae, just wait until my Jenn moves out,” Donggeun said, sighing. “Jesus Christ, you are so impatient!”

 “What’s wrong with your own home, anyways?” I questioned, as I sat down on the chair beside of Minhyuk, making sure the bruised side of my face remained hidden from him. He quickly took my hand in his when I let go of him, however.
 “Eomma is annoying,” Sungjae whined. Just like a small kid. “The only reason I haven’t left home yet is because of Sungmi… but she’s much better now, and she doesn’t really need me around as much now. She even found herself some friends! She keeps bringing those giggling girls home, but it’s fine, I guess.”

 “It’s good,” I assured him. “I’m really glad to hear she’s managed some friends.”
 “You should get a social life as well,” Minhyuk shot in.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I looked at him weirdly, only moving my head the slightest as I took my hand out of his.
 “Just that, maybe, it’s good for you to have a few girl friends to talk to about, you know, girly things,” he suggested. “Don’t you think so?”

 I shook my head. Wrong move. Minhyuk had obviously cached a glance of my blue eye. He used his hand to move my face carefully to the side.
 “Did he do this to you?” he asked, very alarmed.
“I told you we could talk about it later,” I said, moving my head away.

 Minhyuk was clearly irritated. No, scratch that. He was furious. I was even amazed that he managed to keep his mouth closed.

“I’m really sorry Sungjae, but you can’t live here,” I said, turning my attention back to the younger. “You have to find a different solution.” He groaned and slammed his head against the table. It must have hurt.

 “Jagi-yah, don’t worry,” Donggeun said, the younger on the back. “You can stay at my place as long as my parents allow you to, okay?”
 “Really?” Sungjae asked, looking up. His forehead was red.
“Of course! Don’t be sad.” Donggeun pecked the younger on his cheek and brought him closer against his chest, holding his arms around him.

-

 “I’ll go down there and kill him myself,” Minhyuk growled when we had seen the two boys out. He had barely spoken until now.
 “Minhyuk, calm down,” I told him, dragging him with me to sit on the couch.

“I’m serious,” he said. “He is literally dead meat walking! How does he dare to hurt you like that? It’s completely despicable.” I pushed him down on the couch and nuzzled up in his arms. After all, it had been a very exhausting day. I needed to feel the comfort of being close to him.

 “Because he did what he did, he became a public threat and now has to stay in jail for a total of twenty-eight years,” I said.
 “He should never be allowed out,” Minhyuk sighed, my arm.

“I really thought this was what I wanted, but I actually feel a little bad,” I confessed.
 “Why would you, he deserves to be punished,” Minhyuk argued.
“I know you think that, but he’s still my father. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have met you.”

 “Don’t put it that way,” he groaned, “It makes me hate him a little less.” He leaned his head against the top of mine, bringing me even closer.
 “He’s gone now, though. You don’t have to think about him anymore. You shouldn’t hold grudges against anyone, really. It’s not good for your health.
 “You’re too nice,” he chuckled.

“Eommeoni said she would stop by tomorrow, by the way,” I said, changing topic.
 “We should unpack the last few things now, then, I guess,” Minhyuk decided.
“Nooo,” I whined, turning and hugging his waist. “I don’t want to tidy, I want to cuddle!”
 “Yah!” he laughed. “We should get it over with now, or else we’ll end up doing it tomorrow.”

 “So be it. I just want to be close to you for a moment,” I said. He chuckled at my childish and clingy behaviour and wrapped his arms around me once again.
 “Does your face hurt?” he asked, quietly.
“Not so much anymore. My ribs are worse, to be honest,” I replied.
 “He kicked you?” I hummed in response. I was probably bruised in that very era.

 “I love you,” I said.
“I love you too,” he said back, kissing the top of my head.
 “Don’t you even think about stopping,” I threatened him. My voice was somewhat muffled as I had buried myself in his chest.
 “I wouldn’t,” he replied.

-

I was walking around in circles, trying to remember what had happened. The walls, ceiling and floor were of cold, grey concrete. It was dark. There were no windows, only a small candle was burning in the corner of the room, nearly burnt out.

 My feet were sore and cold, I did not have shoes- not even a pair of socks. All I was wearing was a white night-dress it seemed. However, I kept walking around inside of the room, trying to remember. How did I end up here, in this room? How long had I been walking around in circles?

 I knew I should have searched for a way out, but, for some reason, I could not bring myself to do it and I kept walking around in circles. I tried to remember, but I could not even remember what I was supposed to remember…

 Frustrated, I sat down on the cold ground, holding my head in my hands. Something was wrong with me. All my memories, thoughts and meanings were gone. I could not remember a single thing. All I could do, was let my feelings of despair and frustration grow.

 Slowly, a door opened in front of me.

“Sujung…” A woman walked inside the room. She was holding a baseball bat in her left hand. Who was she? Who was Sujung?

 “Sweetie…” She knelt down on the floor in front of me. I looked up at her, but I could not see her clearly; tears were blocking my view.
“What’s going on?” I asked, voice too broken to form a normal sound. It was as if someone had sewn half my throat closed. I felt as if I was choking.
  “Don’t you know where you are?” the woman asked. Her voice was very soft and quiet. It was somewhat calming and familiar, but I just could not seem to remember where I had heard it before. I shook my head at her question. I had no idea where I was. I was so scared because of that reason. “You’re home,” she said. I furrowed my brows. Did I live I a dark and cold room?

 “Have you forgotten me already?” she asked suddenly.
“I don’t know who you are,” I said, looking down at the ground, feeling tears slide down my cheeks. How could I forget someone I had never known?

 “How do you live with yourself?” she questioned. “Do you honestly not know who I am?” I nodded my head. I could not remember anything. All my memories were vanished. “My name is Lee Yeseul,” she continued. I was sure I had heard her name before. Maybe it was a very common name. Maybe I had heard it from someone else, but, had I ever been outside? How did outside look? Did I know anyone else?

 “Do you remember your name?”
“No,” I replied, tears falling quicker.
  “Don’t you remember how you let me die?” I looked up at her, eyes wide. Had I let her die? Was she dead? If I could see her, then was I dead as well? I was so confused.

 “A normal human being would call for help if she knew her mother was being killed by her father,” the woman continued. “A normal person would run across the street and ask her neighbours for help if her father was brutally murdering her mother-“
 “No, no, no, no, no!” I kept reaping that one word, hitting my head harshly. I did not want her to continue talking. Had I done that to my own mother? Was it my mother, I was seeing in front of me?
 “Don’t deny the facts, Sujung.” Why did she keep calling me Sujung? I had no attachment to that name.
“I never did such a thing,” I silently cried. I could not be a cruel person.

“Don’t you think you deserve to feel what I had to go through that night?” She stood up before me and raised the bat. I felt insecure on how to protect myself. Was she going to hurt me?

 “This is what he did to me,” she said, before slamming the baseball bat roughly against my shoulder. Pain shot through my body as I fell back against the hard ground. She proceeded to beat me and kick me, making cries slip past my lips.
 “Please stop!” I pleaded, shutting my eyes closed tightly, “Leave me alone!”

Everything became quiet and still for a moment, and, then, when I opened my eyes again, I was somewhere else. It looked similar to the room where I had previously been. Every inch was made of concrete, except for the ceiling, which was of brown planks. Chains were hung from the ceiling and along the walls. Inside of this room, I could at least see clearer, as there was a small window.

 Under the window, there was a table with various tools. Maybe they were being used for some sort of carpentry. There was a staircase in this room, leading up to a door, which was held closed.

 Again, I could feel some relations to the room, but I had no idea where I was. I could not remember if I had been here before or only seen a picture of it.

 Roughly, the door was opened and a man took heavy and unstable steps down the wooden stairs.

 “Kim Sujung!” he roared. I quickly stood up from the floor, frightened by the man’s behaviour. He called me by Sujung, just as the woman from before had done. Was that really my name? How did that man know my name?

 As he stormed past the table, he picked up one of the objects, proceeding to come closer to me. I was walking backwards, but soon, my back hit the wall. I was trapped.

 “Are you aware of all the I have to go through because of you?!” he growled, holding an iron pipe in his right hand. I was, again, confused. I did clearly not know the man. How come I had brought him trouble?

 “I- I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you are ta-talking about-“ I stuttered, terrified.

 “How dare you?!” He rose the pipe in the air and it violently across my body. In pain, I fell to the ground, on my hands and knees. Why was he hurting me? 

 “Don’t you remember?” he screamed, hitting me again. “Can’t you remember what you did?” He kept hitting me over and over, leaving me to helplessly sob on the cold ground.

 I could not remember anything. I did not remember doing anything. My first memory was walking around in circles in the previous room. I had not a single memory before that. Even my identity was gone.

 “I pay for everything you need, and what do you give me in return?” He kept shouting as he dragged me further away from the wall, holding a too tight grip around my ankles.

 “Nothing!” he screamed, answering his own question. The pipe made a loud sound as it was roughly thrown against the concrete. Suddenly, he was hovering over me, one knee on each side of my body. Terrified, I tried to get away, but his grip was too tight.

 “I’ll give you what you deserve,” the drunk man growled, proceeding to rip at my thin dress. I screamed then. Something was terribly wrong. He was going to hurt me more, in another way.

 I tried to kick him and hit him, but nothing seemed to work. All that happened was that his knees pressed themselves closer against my hips and his hands became rougher.

 No matter how much I tried, he managed to rip the dress I was wearing, and I was suddenly laying before him in only my underwear. The whole scene felt so familiar, but I had no memories of this happening before.

 Helplessly, I was sobbing, too weak to fight against him. I did not even know how to fight back as he kept tearing off my underwear. Hearing his pants being ped, I closed my eyes tightly again, wanting to disappear like I did the first time.

 However, this time, nothing happened. I could beg him to leave me alone, but he did not. I could feel him inside of me, making my stomach turn by his rough movements. His hands were gripping my body all too roughly and violently, chocking me whenever I screamed in pain.

 I had no idea how long it took before he left me alone and walked away, threatening me that he would redo the whole scene if I made another sound or tried to escape.

 Devastated, I rolled into a ball on the floor, holding my knees tightly against my chest, sobbing in pain. My body was deeply bruised. Why did this happen to me? Was I that horrible? I could not remember doing anything to deserve this. Nobody could possibly deserve this.

 Suddenly, I could feel something wet drip onto my and fragile body and cold air blew against my skin. Opening my eyes again, I was no longer laying in the cold cellar. I was laying on a lone road. It was dark outside, probably in the middle of the night. There were no stars in the sky. The night sky was covered with dark clouds. It was raining and the air was freezing.

 “Kim Sujung!” I could hear someone run towards me. My heart sank all the way down to my stomach. Not again… I could not take any more of this.

 “Sujung…” A young male, probably around my own age, knelt beside of me. I was preparing myself for more violence, but instead, the boy took off his coat, and covered my body with it.

 “Please don’t hurt me,” I begged, only whispering out my words.
“Kitty, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, sounding very concerned. “It’s me, Lee Minhyuk!”
 “Who?” He was just as unfamiliar as the woman and man from before.
“Have you forgotten who I am?” he asked. He sounded hurt.  I did not even care to answer. I had forgotten everyone and everything. I was only confused.

 Both Minhyuk and I stayed silent. The thing breaking the silence was a trailer, driving in our direction. Quickly, Minhyuk helped me up from the ground, bringing me to the side of the road. However, the moment he let go of my shoulders, I ran into the road, right in front of the truck-

 I sat up breathless and covered in sweat. I looked around quickly, terrified that this was another awful scenario.

 I was inside Minhyuk and I’s new apartment. Inside the bedroom, on the bed, to be more exact. Minhyuk laid beside of me. Sleeping, his chest rising up and down heavily.

 This could not possibly be another scenario where I was hurt. I knew who I was. Kim Sujung. I was 20 years old and engaged to the most wonderful man alive. I was not healthy, but for the time being, I was not ill either. This was I. Nothing more. Nothing less. I could remember all of my memories today. All the memories I remembered yesterday.

 It was nothing but a bad dream. A frightening nightmare.

Anxiety had raised a few levels; therefore, I decided to leave the bed. Without waking Minhyuk, I went into the kitchen to find myself a glass of water. My hands were trembling as I reached for one of the glasses in the cabinet over the counter.

 I filled it with water and leaned against the counter as I drank. My breathing was quick and short and because I did not feel as if I managed to fill the one lung I had with enough air, I was incapable of drinking up.

 I let out a sigh and looked down at the glass, but the sight I met made me scream and drop it to the floor. My hands were covered in blood. So was my large shirt.

 The glass crushed into pieces as it hit the floor. I fell to my knees and was completely incapable of breathing. Panic took control of my body. I had no idea of how long I had been holding in this anxiety attack, and now, finally, I could not control it any longer.

 I was sobbing on the floor. I stopped trying to keep up with my body. Catching my breath and sanity was now out of the question.

 “Sujungie!” Minhyuk was quickly by my side. As always. “Calm down, it’s okay,” he told me as he brought me in his arms. His voice was soft, yet a little groggy as he was asleep a minute ago.

 I leaned my forehead against his bare chest, arms going around his body, holding him tightly, nails digging into his skin. It did not seem to bother him, and he continued to do what he usually did. He told me all the things I needed to hear in order to calm down and allowed me to cry and sob for as long I had to. Because of him, I soon started to recover from the anxiety attack and was able to think and breathe ordinarily again.

 “I had a really bad nightmare,” I whispered after a while, clinging onto him as if I was a lost koala bear. “I think the stress I experienced because of the trial has been a little too much…”
 “I get that,” he said, my hair carefully. “It’s okay now, though. I’m here. Don’t be scared.”
 “I just wanted something to drink to calm down, but then there was blood everywhere-“ My voice was hitched up in my throat once again. He made soothing hush-sounds and allowed me to cry some more.

 “I’m really scared to relapse, Minhyuk,” I confessed. “I’m finally doing better than ever. I have everything I need. I have you. All this makes me think; what if I relapse and ruin everything I’ve built and achieved? What if I become really bad again and make you tired and worn out again?”
 “Kitty, you are overthinking,” Minhyuk said. “You’re having a bad time because you’re stressed. You are not relapsing. Even if you were, we would figure it out together, and go through it and do what needed to be done, together. You shouldn’t worry about me. As long as you do your best, I’ll be fine. As long as you don’t give up on yourself, I am happy. Even if you relapse.”

 *Authour's Note*

I am so embarrased, it took me so long to update... D:

I was on holiday, but I had this finsihed a week ago I am so so sorry 3

 Anyways, I think the next couple of chapters will go rather quick in time

THEY MOVED IN TOGETHER isn't that adorable ? :3 I personally think it is good for them u.u

 I am seriously doing my very best NOT to write too much angst, but heh it is hard because, honestly, my head is a dark place ,especially lately, but I PROMISE she will not relapse I am going to take care of her okay??? Minhyuk too won't go through that right now, that poor guy TT____TT

 Upvote and subscribe if u haven't, and comment please, ur comments are my fav thing in the whole world!!!! i love you all <3

(It is very late, that's why I don't have so much to say in this note sorry :I )