Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

Myungsoo ran from the bus stop to his apartment, which was pretty far, but he missed the train from the venue and he had waited 15 minutes for the next bus to come, but hell, the bus didn’t show up. And he was late. He was ing late. He cursed at himself for his clumsiness. He caught his breath and unlocked his apartment.

“Hey. You look like a… Mess.” Sungyeol had waited for him.

“Yes. I am going to kill Woohyun. I am…” Myungsoo looked at his watch. “Thirty… Thirty-two minutes late. I am terribly sorry Yeol.” Sungyeol chuckled; he never gets Myungsoo and his on time habit. It’s a nice habit, but well there was a time when Myungsoo had his extremely bad mood just because he was 2 minutes late.

Sungyeol could remember it was when Sungyeol had his check up after the rooftop incident. He was about to take all the cotton and the gauze on his eyes. Dr.Kang said he needed it, the sun hurt his eyes pretty bad and another stupid dust infection is the least he needed. Therefore yes, Sungyeol were half blind for a week. Yes. The sun decided to hurt an eye. Only an eye. Sungyeol couldn’t decide whether it was a good thing or a pain in the . He rather had both of his eyes being covered by gauze and cotton than seeing Myungsoo took all the blame.

And Myungsoo was late, 2 minutes late. The appointment was on 8:00PM. And Myungsoo came to the hospital 8:02. Dr.Kang hadn’t done anything yet, it was 2 minutes full of ‘have you eaten yet’ and ‘how’s today?’ And Myungsoo just had to sulked.

“Come on now, it wasn’t that much, 32 minutes, it was all I need to find my sweater. So, it wasn’t 32 minutes wasted okay.” Sungyeol stood up and hold Myungsoo hand. He dragged him outside, yes, Myungsoo pouted (that cute little thing) he just hated it, hated to make Sungyeol waited.

“Are you sure they’re still open Yeol?” Myungsoo finally stopped pouting, after a few cheek pinching, ribs poking and some pecks Sungyeol gave.

“Yes. I have checked it online. It’s a night market they’re open until 3 in the morning. The night is still young. It’s only 9.”

“Oh… What do you want to do there?” Myungsoo asked, he took his camera out and checked his memory card; plenty free space, and full battery. Good.

“Everything.” Sungyeol smiled, and Myungsoo captured the moment perfectly.

-----------------

Myungsoo wondered why the hell did he fall for this tall and lanky guy in front of him, who was laughing his off inside a giant teacup, and yes, this tall and lanky guy had made Myungsoo join him, inside a giant teacup. Which was spinning by the way.

In pink.

With laces.

And girly ornaments. But still, Myungsoo smiled as well, for the tall and lanky guy. Who had made him the guy he’s now.

Sungyeol didn’t even stop to catch a breath, he went to the mirror house, he played the shoot-the-can game, he did get a small doll, the one you could hang to your phone. A cat. A black cat, and he gave it to Myungsoo. Instead of thank you(s) he was supposed to get, Myungsoo was whining ‘It looks like I am the girl in this relationship. I was supposed to be me who shoot all the cans and got that giant bear and then I’ll give it to you.’ Sungyeol just forced another caramel popcorn to Myungsoo, just so Myungsoo stop all the whine.

Sungyeol played with almost everything inside the night market, everything except the roller coaster. ‘I’m afraid of heights.’ He said, which made Myungsoo rolled his eyes; this guy had been playing with almost everything that has to do with adrenaline for Godsake. Myungsoo didn’t take no as an answer, therefore, there they were, on a roller coaster with Sungyeol screamed his lungs out and Myungsoo laughing out loud.

Myungsoo knew. Sungyeol would not just go home without trying this last attraction. A ferris wheel. Myungsoo scoffed when Sungyeol ignored him saying, ‘I thought you said you’re afraid of heights’

Myungsoo stared at the amount of pictures he took, Sungyeol, Sungyeol, Sungyeol and Sungyeol. He won’t get tired of his boyfriend. He looked at Sungyeol who’s now squealing and squeaking in happiness. Well this was his first time on a ferris wheel. He had never tried before, with his illness and everything. Oh yes… his illness, Myungsoo thought.

“So, how was the appointment with doctor Kang? Do I owe him a hug or what?” Sungyeol froze, and smiled.

-----------------

“Sungyeol-ssi. You do know that…”

“I know.”

“I couldn’t give you any prescriptions for this phase. Not that I don’t want to. But there isn’t any medicine that could help you anymore. You do realize that don’t you?” Sungyeol nodded.

“But there is something you can do. You can slow down the progress by doing routine physical therapy here. You can do it yourself at home I know by doing your routine, but there are a few things that has to be treated here.” Sungyeol nodded again.

“And, I am not promising you anything, but I want you to have a speech therapy as well. I know you don’t have any problem with it now, there for once every two week will be fine, as a prevention.”

“How?”

“Yes?”

“How do I know the progress?”

“Sorry? I don’t quite…”

“I couldn’t tell how sick I was until I realized I couldn’t even hold a pen properly anymore.” Sungyeol stared at his long fingers.

“The only way to track your illness is by having a diary Sungyeol-ssi. We can tell by how your writing progresses in the future.” Sungyeol had spent his 30 minutes afterwards staring at the wall behind dr.Kang. Wondered what was Myungsoo doing. The call he made last night was for Woohyun.

“I need your help…” Sungyeol said.

“With what?”

“I… I’m sorry to disturb you at this hour for your help, really… But I…”

“Eyyy… Come on now, what? What do you need? You know I’ll do anything for you.”

“I need you to take Myungsoo out tomorrow. Do anything you can possibly do.”

“And why is that?”

“I need to do something tomorrow. Please? Just take him out since 5 until 8 top.”

“Okay… May I know the reason why? Are you getting tired of him? You know I can give you something he cant.” Woohyun chuckled. Sungyeol just had to smile.

“It’s not that important. I just need to go somewhere without him.”

“Where? My house? Well then I need to tell Hoya to take Myungsoo out then. Okay okay. I’ll take him out. What will you give me in return Sungyeollie?” Woohyun .

“A coffee?”

“A date it is. Now annyeong don’t take back your words.” Woohyun turned the phone off.

"Sungyeol ssi..."

"Yes?"

"You need to tell your closest people..."

"What for?"

"You will need help. And support. You'll need to tell them. You are strong. I can tell. But you cannot expect your closest people to be as strong as you are. And I am pretty sure... None of them are as strong as you do. Especially the one who keeps you close to his heart."

-----------------

And that’s how he made Myungsoo not to come with him. Because he wanted to tell Myungsoo himself. To tell Myungsoo, he needed to prepare. For everything.

“So? What did doctor Kang said?” Myungsoo squinted and tried to make his lens focused on Sungyeol, it was the wrong time to do so, for what he saw next was Sungyeol’s tears b in his eyes.

“Yeol?” he put down his camera, “What’s wrong?” he was about to move to Sungyeol’s side when the ferris wheel stopped and the guy in charge opened the door telling them it’s over, they need to buy another ticket. They both went out of the ferris wheel, Myungsoo still holding Sungyeol’s hand tightly.

“Yeol? What did he say? Tell me? What happen? Is it coming? The…” Myungsoo gulped, “The last stage?” Sungyeol took his breath deeply and smiled.

“I think…” a tear fell to his cheek, “we should break up.”

And Myungsoo stood still.

“You’re going to be ing great without me. I have been saying this each and every time. I am going to say it again… I am going to die, and now. I am sure. There’s no more sooner or later. It is sooner. I don’t want to be a burden.”

Myungsoo didn’t even flinch.

“I want to break up.” Sungyeol said again. And by that, Sungyeol just broke, rip, and shred Myungsoo into pieces. For Myungsoo’s leg felt numb and weak he fell to the ground. Sungyeol eyes grew widen and he caught Myungsoo, who was crying by now.

“I can’t…” he stuttered at his words, “I can’t afford to lose you… I can’t.”

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okay I am terribly sorry for making you guys wait (did i?) for too long. and well bam this. my internet connection in my house lately has been an . and i couldnt browse anything. thats why i didnt post. sorry. :( the only thing that could help me went trough my boredom was my phone and iPad. they kept me alive (okay too much here) ahem. those two are my gadgets that worked without any wifi needed. so yes. this story has been saved in my laptop, therefore i couldnt post it by ipad. another sorry comes from me :'( so yes, this is my apology, two updates. i hope youre fine with it. 

anyway!! I AM GOING TO INFINITE'S CONCERT IN MY HOMETOWN. *squeal squeak jumping around like mad* it's on august 31st. (PM me or wall me if anyone's coming. I guess by now you guys now where do i live now. i need to thank god i'm still here.)