Happenstance |ˈhapənˌstans|

(n) coincidence

You

The day I met you, I just knew

The moment you called me weird, I just realized

The second you smiled at me, it hit me

I only have 20 years left to spend

That day, I have decided

I am going to be strong no matter how.

And that day, I have sworn

I am going to hold on, even to the slightest hope.

I have promised you forever

And forever I am willing to give

An apology I have worn on my lips

For the day we both know about to come.

For the day I have to break my promise.

YOU

I can hear the cheers on the distance

My senses have been gone for too long

If they prick, how do I not bleed

If they scream, how do I not hear

And for the first time,

My heart is beating once more

Blood is flowing again

I yearn to be yours

I long for you

To be mine.

Be mine.

And only mine.

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“Yeol! Sungyeol! Hey! Are you okay?!” Myungsoo cried. His boyfriend had sit and a bruise began to show. He fell. He ing fell out of nowhere... No. He must have been slipped. No no no… It is NOT because of his xp Myungsoo. No. He thought… He knew it too well it will happen sooner or later. And sooner was the least he expected.

“Yes yes I’m okay. It was nothing.” Sungyeol smiled.

“No it is something okay, your head hit the ground Yeol. You didn’t even cover yourself. It was basic reflexes… Your hand should’ve responsed and I don’t know, cover your face or something. You fell. You fell flat….” Tears were formed by now.

“What are you talking about? Now you’re blabbering nonsense. Come on now, everyone is looking at us.” Sungyeol stood up, pat his pants and grinned to Myungsoo. Myungsoo stared at his boyfriend and stood up as well, he held Sungyeol’s hand so tight when the older gave him a hand. His head were spinning, Sungyeol’s doctor had warned him, it’s his 20s, and his sickness would’ve gotten to his neuro system.

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Flashback

“He is going to fall a lot Mrs.Lee… He won’t be able to use his reflexes, because his nerve are failing.” Doctor Kang said. Sungyeol held Myungsoo hands so tight, I am here you know. I can hear you talking about my ty future he thought.

“The falling is harmless, yes. But, I suggest he stays under your sight. Because where he will fall might have been dangerous… We found his sickness early, but I cannot guarantee that the worst thing that could happen to him is goint to be his failing nerves.” Sungyeol stared the wall as if it was the most interesting thing ever. He was only 12 when he heard this information.

“He…” Doctor Kang was about to continue his speech when Sungyeol said, “Going to die soon after the falling… it was the first stage before you are going to find out that beside my failing neuro system, I’ll probably get something called choreoathetosis which means my body will move involuntarily, twisting, writhing and squirming…”

“Lee Sung Yeol!” His mom yelled.

“I am not finished yet mom. I’ll look like I’m dancing. Sort of… or the less scary, I’ll get muscle weaknesses on my limbs. And I forgot the other one Doc. I have read it before, and this one will become the second stage isn’t it? The most excruciating one I can remember.” Sungyeol said, he had been holding to Myungsoo hand so tight, it will leave marks. He had known them all along, he was an excellent kid actually, he just needed the courage to say it out loud, and apparently he felt Myungsoo’s warmth beside him was enough to support him.

“Yes… Apparently, yes… You have a great son right here Mrs.Lee.” Doctor Kang smiled. “The last one you can’t remember is, ataxia. It’s less likely to happen, I don’t think I should explain it to you because it seems like you have known what ataxia is, right Sungyeol?” Sungyeol nodded, he felt the cold stare his bestfriend gave him and the blank face his mom had.

“I know. I come prepared. I should know my oponent before going to war, if I am going to put up a good fight should’nt I?”

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Present

“I think we should go back to your home.” Myungsoo said after they got home. They were unpacking the stuff they bought from the supermarket.

“No.”

“Yeol, it’s best for you to…”

“What? Best for me to what?” Sungyeol asked.

“To be with the people who will look after you.”

“So you’re saying you can’t?”

“No. It’s not that.”

“Then what?”
“What if you fall somewhere, and your head hit a brick or something Yeol?” Myungsoo stared at Sungyeol. He couldn’t ask Sungyeol to leave obviously. But he couldn’t look after his boyfriend 24/7 as well and the thought of Sungyeol fell somewhere and got hurt by it, frightens him. Sungyeol stood still. Staring back at Myungsoo.

“Do you want me to leave?” he said.

“No I don’t want you to leave obviously…”

“Then don’t… Don’t ask me to go.”

“Yeol. You know that’s not it. I cannot look after you 24/7 and I don’t want anything to happen to you when I’m not there to help you!”

“It’s just been what, a month. A month. And I am fine, see.”

“Yeol…”

“What?! There is nothing to help anyway Soo. I fell, and then I stood up. Easy. If I got hurt or something, I can help myself. I am good at that. Been doing it for years now.”

“Why are you so stubborn?!”

“I have been dealing with this for years and up until now I am fine. I can take care of myself. I don’t have a life from 5AM to 7PM anyway. And the rest of it, I have been spending it with you. SO if you’re telling me about those what ifs. No. Don’t.” Myungsoo rubbed his head.

“Can you please listen to what I’m going to say.” He said to Sungyeol almost pleading, “I do not. Do not want you to leave. BUT. We both know what we’re dealing with here. It’s no longer about you can’t walk around under the sun anymore. It’s about…”

“The first stage. I know.” Then silence came. Myungsoo looked at Sungyeol, who was standing, his face showed no expression. Myungsoo was afraid. Afraid of everything. The thought of Sungyeol got hurt, he heard it pretty well what Doctor Kang had to say back then, how harmless the falling was, but how dangerous the situation is going to be. He didn’t want Sungyeol to leave. He wanted him to stay. And he wants to keep his promise to Mrs.Lee that he will take care of Sungyeol. So, the thought of one day Sungyeol got home hurt killed him inside. He had promised to Mrs.Lee. He had. And he’s not going to break it.

“I am going to ask once again. And answer it.” Sungyeol break the silence. “Do you want me to leave?” Myungsoo stared at him. There were too many thoughts, ‘what if’, and ‘but’ inside his head. And within his hesitation Sungyeol got his answer.

“I’m going to grab some coffee.” He walked pass by Myungsoo.

“Where are you going?!”

“Answer me.”

“Yeol…”

“Do you want me to leave?” Sungyeol repeated his question. Myungsoo didn’t say a word; Sungyeol took his jacket.

“Yeol please come here.”

“I’m going to grab some coffee.”

“We just bought coffee.”

“Answer my question Soo.”

“Yeol…”

Sungyeol walked to the door and left.

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“Hello…”

“Hey what’s up?”

“Are you with Dongwoo?”

“Yes. But he’s in the shower. Why?” Hoya said on the phone.

“I… Sungyeol left.”

“What?”

“You know, there’s something about his sickness that’s catching up to him. And I asked him to go back to his house ‘cause I’m afraid I won’t be there when he needs me.” Silence……. “hello… Hoya? Are you there?”

“He cuts.”

“What?”

“The guy cuts, am I right?”

“How do…”

“I saw his scars on the other night, judging by the look of it, they’re old if you don’t want to add a new one. You better take your words back.” Hoya sighed. “You said it yourself, you want to be there when he needs you. And he needs you a lot. Telling him to do a long distance relationship, man? He’s going to need a lot more than a hand to be carve onto.” Myungsoo had never thought of it.

“I… I think I need to go.”

“Yes. You have to find the guy. See you at class.”

“yeah. Thanks.”

“No worries.” He hung up.

You : Come home please.

Myungsoo typed.

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Sungyeol walked and found a 24/7 coffee shop as far as his apartment as possible. The owner looks nice, he thought.

“One Americano please.” He said.

“On the middle of the night? Pulling an all nighter?” the barista asked.

“Kind of” he smiled.

“That’s make the four of us then”

“Four?”

“Yep, me, the other barista, the guy outside, and you. That would be 3,900won.” Sungyeol opened his wallet.

“Lee Sung Yeol right?” the guy beside him said. “Long time no see!”

“Who… Who are you? Do I know you?”

“I was in the night class, remember! Literature class?” Sungyeol thought a while. Still couldn’t recall.

“I borrowed your pencil. I was on the table beside you.”

“AHHH! Yes yes!!” Sungyeol eyes lit up, “I remember you. Your poem was chosen by Mr.Choi… was it?” the other guy smiled.

“Yes yes. Right. Oh, a hot mocha please, and this guy’s Americano is on me.” The barista nodded.

“You don’t have to… I’ll pay…”Sungyeol said.

“No no it’s okay, my poem was chosen because of you anyway.”

“What? How come? It was a nice poem really. Ah… I can’t remember your name really.” the other guy smiled.

“Lee Byung Hun. And the poem was made for you.”

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so, do you get what l.joe means? :D