Paradise |ˈparəˌdīs|

(n) an ideal or idyllic place or state

Myungsoo's thoughts

He was the kind of person you didn’t really notice when you first saw him. The kinds of person that won’t make you turn your head just too catch a glimpse of him. But when you saw him in the middle of the night curled up on the corner, crying, tears flowing on his cheeks, dripping onto his mouth, you would want nothing but to kiss his pain away…

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no one's POV

“Yeol…?”

“Hmm?”

“Come with me”

“Excuse me?” Sungyeol raised his head from Myungsoo’s shoulder.

“Come with me, to Seoul…”

“What?”

“Yeah… Come with me, to Seoul. We can share my apartment. I will work so that we won’t starve, and you’ll cook for both of us…”

“Then we’ll have three kids and a dog, cause Woolimy bores me… We’ll have a white picket fences, a huge backyard, a…”

“I’m not joking Yeol.” Myungsoo glared at Sungyeol.

“Oh… So… You mean, me, going with you to Seoul?” Myungsoo nodded. “Like, I’ll stay home, you go to your classes, and then you’ll come home to me. Like that kind of come-to-Seoul?” Myungsoo nodded again. “No.”

“What?! Why?!”

“What do I do there Soo?? I obviously can’t work at noon. I don’t go to college. I’ll become a total difficulty for you to handle.”

“No you won’t. You’re going to stay in my apartment. You can work night shifts or you can take night classes. Seoul has a lot of colleges which offer night courses Yeol.”

“Oh…”

“Come with me, please?” the thought of living with his boyfriend, had made Sungyeol considered the idea. He was a bit hesitated because of he wasn’t so sure if it was a great idea, he could become a total burden for Myungsoo.

“Please? I’ll help you talk with your parents Yeol…” Myungsoo pleaded.

“I…”

“Please? Think about it this way Yeol, you don’t want to bother Sungjong here, so it’s the best way for you, if you don’t want to bother me, I’ll be the one who’s going to bother you anyway.”

“Soo… I want to… but…”

“No. No more buts. It’s been decided, when your parents come home, we’ll talk.” Myungsoo smiled, and pushed Sungyeol’s head back to its place, his shoulder.

It was easy asking for his father’s permission. Mr.Lee knew it very well, Sungyeol needed to live his life freely. His illness had caged him and he knew it too well the kid didn’t have much time left. Mr.Lee had seen all types of tortures the life had given to his oldest son. And he had seen, the best thing life had ever given to him was Myungsoo. So it was an easy decision for him to make.

“No.” his mom said it clearly.

“Mom…”

“No Sungyeol. No.”

“Mom… I’ll go to night courses there. I won’t do anything stupid there. I will live my life like I have always done… nothing will ever change.”

“No Sungyeol. No. Don’t be stupid. Whose idea is this? I know the two of you are good friends. But no. You two are both different person Yeol…” his mom sighed.

“Honey, don’t you think it’s a good thing for Sungyeol to finally see and learn by himself?”

“No. You two, no the three of you know it too well, Sungyeol doesn’t have the privileges to live like normal people do. He doesn’t need to see or learn or anything really by himself alone. I have been raising you well, and I don’t want to lose you because my stupid decision as your parent to let you go to Seoul.” His mom glared at him and Myungsoo.

“Mom. I have been living like an owl for 20 years; it has been a miracle I could live up until 20. Who knows how many years I’ve got left. Can you please let me, for at least the next 2 years to live my life to the fullest?”

“No. Sungyeol. No.”

“Honey, listen to your kid first okay, he has a point.”

“A point? What point? He’s going to leave, and who knows I’m going to lose him because of my stupid decision for letting him leave?? I said once again. No.”

“Mom…”

“Whose idea is it? Tell me. Whose is it?”

“Honey, I don’t think that matters, who ever is it, it is certainly for the best.”

“Oh really? I really don’t see…”

“It’s mine.” Myungsoo lowered his head. “It’s mine Mr. and Mrs. Lee.” Sungyeol tighten his grip to Myungsoo’s hand under the table. He wished for Myungsoo to shut his mouth right at this moment.

“You???” Mrs.Lee stared at Myungsoo and she was pissed. “You…”

“I’m sorry if I sound presumptuous… But it was my idea. I know you don’t like it and you don’t agree. But please hear me out.”

“You better get out of my house and come back when you can think straight kid.” Mrs.Lee stood up, so did his husband, he tried to make his wife to sit.

“Honey…”

“I said no. He’s just a 20 years old kid, what can he do huh? IF, IF Sungyeol really does go to Seoul with him. What is he going to feed our kid with??? Then if. IF he find someone better, someone…” she thought for a second “Someone nicer what is he going to do? Huh?? Don’t be so naïve, he will leave him.” Mrs.Lee stated. Myungsoo stood up beside the table and kneeled. Sungyeol was shocked and moved to Myungsoo side trying to make his boyfriend to stand up.

“Stand up Soo…” he gritted between his teeth.

“Please hear me out Mrs.Lee.”

“No, now get up and leave. Come back when you can think straight.” She said. she knew if she kicked him out forever, or banned him from coming to her house, Sungyeol would flip out.

“Please hear me out for 5 minutes top. Please Mrs.Lee…”

“3 minutes. Start talking.”

Sungyeol's POV

“I know how it feels to be left out Mrs.Lee. And those who left me out were my own family. I know how it feels to be left alone, to be all alone. This might sound so stupid for you or impossible really, but Sungyeol was the only one that keep me save, he has never leave me alone.”  Stop talking Soo… Stop, she doesn’t want to hear you… Why did I say yes to his idea to talk to my parents. Why. Why did I let him say it was his idea?

“I do agree, love will not feed your son. I have a plan already Mrs.Lee… I will never let Sungyeol starve or get hurt because of my stupid idea. All this time, my parents have keep sending me money. It’s the only thing that makes us keep in touch. The only things that make them acknowledge me as their son. I have been saving half of my allowance every month. I have been doing part time jobs as a photographer; the salary might not as much but as time goes by and I have a name because of the college I’m attending as well, my salary has been increasing. I can take night shifts at the library as a part timer, or a barista at a 24/7 coffee shop. Therefore I won’t leave Sungyeol alone.” He has plans… Since when Soo? Why do you have a well-prepared plan like this?

“He could come with me to the library or the coffee shop… I won’t leave him alone at home, I won’t make him starve, I won’t…” 

“Mom… I won’t do anything stupid really. If you don’t want me to go to Seoul because you thought I’ll waste my time there, then I’ll register myself to the night courses…”

“Honey…” my mom stared at Myungsoo. Then she stared at me, she’s probably wondering why this guy right here is willing to do anything to me. Well, we’re on the same page… I don’t know either.

“You’ll attend night courses if you’re going to Seoul.”

“Yes mom…”

“You’ll take care of my son.”

“Yes Mrs.Lee…”

“I’ll come visit every week.” She walked to her room, Myungsoo stared at her then stood up, he bowed 90˚ degrees toward my dad and mom.

“Thank you sir… Thank you Mrs.Lee… Thank you…” I smiled at him…

“Soo?”

“Hmm?”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did you kneel? You didn’t have to do that. You didn’t have to fight for me like that as well…”

“Just because…” he muttered. I keep staring at him.

“Why?”

“Have you heard a song called Paradise before?” I guess I’ve heard the name before. Not the song…

“Nope…” he stared at me for a while. Giving me what-the- look and took his phone and headset, he gave me the left side and he uses the right one.

“Listen carefully.”

Because it’s my heart that’s not working,

I can’t send you like this, why?

Even if it looks shaky and risky, I

can’t do anything but hold you back, why?

I love you (you’ll do that), I don’t (you wouldn’t do that)

I only look at you

Stay here, I’ll keep requesting it, I’ll do better, I’ll give you more.

Because I still can’t send you off

I, I need to live

I, I need to endure it

I, I since it’ll stop soon.

You need to be here for it to be a paradise

This is a paradise where I locked you up against your will.

A sad paradise where you can’t even leave even when you wake up

A paradise where we can be together forever..

I can only hold my breath and watch you

I can only do that because I feel like you’ll shatter

You’re looking at me (you’ll do that), you’re not looking at me (you won’t do that)

You’re looking, you’re hurting

Stay here, I’ll keep requesting it, I’ll do better, I’ll give you more.

Because I still can’t send you off

I, I need to live

I, I need to endure it

I, I since it’ll stop soon.

You need to be here for it to be a paradise

This is a paradise where I locked you up against your will.

A sad paradise where you can’t even leave even when you wake up

A paradise where we can be together forever..

I, who always filled up my nights with you.

Yeah it’s time to fill up my body, that was accustomed to it, with alcohol now.

A night with your arms wrapped around,

Your breath rising sharply.

That’s the best paradise,

Without you it’s a hopeless world.

I’ll hold you for a bit more,

I’ll look at you more, more, more

Until my heart stops.

I, I need to live

I, I even without you

I, I really need you for now

You need to be here for it to be a paradise

This is a paradise where I locked you up against your will.

A sad paradise where you can’t even leave even when you wake up

A paradise where we can be together forever..

“This song is too sad… Are you sad Soo?” my heart clenched.

“No, our story is…”

“What?”

“Our story is sad…” sad is not the right word Soo…

“Yeah?”

“I have given up too many things. My parents, my brother, even I once gave up on my self.” You have… And I’ve seen it all…

“And I’ve come to realize that, in between my lists, there’s one thing I don’t want to ever give up on…”

“You”

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hello again guys! :D thank you for subscribing new subscribers, i hope my story wont disappoint you (this goes to all of my subsribers :') i hope my story is good enough and up to your standard) :') i was listening to Infinite's Paradise when i wrote this chapter a few days ago. so, do listen to the song when you read this. :D (not mandatory) but i do hope it'll boost your mood while reading. okay whatever, i'm doing a random babbling. see you! :D