Questions, questions were needed to be answered – and that, I will get them answered one day or another.

I leaned against the wall in the hallway, my journal in hand as I scribbled down what was on my mind lately and preparation for the Talent Showdown, using lists of songs I could use before finding one that suits my voice and mixing the sounds. I’ve only got two weeks left to prepare. Then, someone snatched it from my hand, making me gasp when I saw a guy with his group of friends behind me, reading what I’ve written before snickering. His eyes went onto me and I couldn’t help but glare at him behind my glasses.

“Huh, a nerd is singing? How cute~”

How many times have I heard them call me that? Far too many to count – and this is only half of it. I reached out for my journal, but because of his tall height and him increasing the height by holding it out from my reach, I could only stand on my tip-toes and jump slightly for it. “Give it back!” I told him, but they sneered and teased me with my short height. I stopped doing what I was doing and sighed before grabbing my bag and hoisting it over my shoulder. You’ll regret this, I mentally said with a growl. “I don’t want to do this, but please give me back my journal.”

The male stared at me before smirking, “Or what?”

I only stared at him and smiled. Then I kicked him hard in the shin, causing him to groan out in pain and bent down to my level, in which I was able to take the book away from his grasp. “Gamsahabnida~” I cooed as sweetly as I could before leaving the group who was crowding around the boy who was holding his shin in pain. I sighed at this incident. Ever since SHINee had left for Japan, they then decided to push me around and mock me as an advantage for not having them as my ‘bodyguards’, so they say around the campus. Honestly, it’s annoying.

I thought back to when Min-Ae suddenly opened up to me a few days ago. Though I was expecting it, I wasn’t expecting her to open up to me so soon! I stared at the brunette who was happily chatting with her own group in the canteen. Now that the ‘contract’ between us has finished, she no longer needs me as her personal assistant anymore. I narrowed my eyes to the floor. Although it was troublesome and I was more than glad to get back onto my daily routine again, I couldn’t help but feel…agitated and upset. It’s as if someone just took something very important to me. I twisted my rings around my fingers, checking to see if I still had the rainbow accessory on my ring finger. I smiled to myself – I wasn’t expecting to grow attached to that ‘2 months contract’ thing so easily.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned to see Kangdae smiling at me. I smiled back at him. Ever since SHINee had left to do their concerts in Osaka, Japan, he had been keeping me company. However, as a result from that, a rumor about us spread around the entire university and it irritated me greatly.

“Did you hear about that dating rumor? They think we’re still dating,” he said, leaning against the wall as he stared at me with a soft chuckle, almost rolling his eyes in disbelief. I would have done the same. For some apparent reason, a guy or a girl, whoever it was, saw us together, talking so closely that the assumption of us being a couple grew around us. Now the name-calling had worsened. I’ve started from ‘nerd’ to ‘’ from the girls, seeing how I was always having SHINee by my side.

Even Su-Min started making up twisted lies and stories of my ‘ life’, which I do not have, in reality. I have never slept with anyone in my entire life, aish!

Really, me and Kangdae had tried so many times to persuade them to believe that we’re not even dating and just nothing more than friends (we didn’t say that we’re step-siblings because of you-know-who) but they didn’t buy it and thinks that we’re in a secret relationship when SHINee’s not around. It’s really annoying me to no end.

I sighed and shook my head, hugging my journal close to my chest as I looked up at my elder step-brother. “People need to get their head out of their asses and find the truth in our words – what is with this society making stupid conclusions?” I huffed out in exasperation, clearly aggravated.

Kangdae shrugged at this. Then he said, “If you didn’t want them to make stupid conclusions,” he paused for a moment before smiling, “Why don’t we act like a real couple?”

I stared at him as if he was nuts. “Are you crazy? That’ll cause even more abrupt gossip and more rumors and SHINee-oppas will not be happy with me when they come back and hear those rumors flying around into their ears.”

“Ah, right, I forgot that you’re gaining feelings for them,” he said with a smile, tapping his head as he’s scolding himself. I bit my bottom lip and only nodded at this.

I’m still so confused. It’s hard to sort out my muddled feelings. I think my mind is back up and running again as I thought of all of the members. I never thought that liking someone could be full of so much pain.

“But we could have done it, you know, to make them jealous.”

“…”

“Okay, okay, we won’t do it, fine by me,” he surrendered, holding his hands up in defense as he caught my glare behind the lens of my glasses. I rolled my eyes at this.

“You are so—” I was cut off by the ringtone which played out SHINee’s ‹Get It› as my smartphone vibrated in my pocket.

Get it, get it, get it—on~

My face went red at this, because for some odd reason, the song sounded so…sensual. Not only has it got lyrics like that, but Onew’s was included in that verse as well… I turned away from my step-brother and dug my hand into my back pocket, fishing for the vibrating object. I whipped it out, staring at the caller ID before softly pressing the green ‘answer call’ button and holding the phone up to my ear.

“Yeobeseyo…? Onew-oppa, what’s up?”

I heard him chuckle on the other hand. I also heard some faint background noises, almost as if there were cars and noisy chatting outside. “I’m fine, just wanted to see if you’re doing fine without us.”

“Oh yeah, totally, I don’t miss you guys at all!” I joked, giggling when I heard him fake a gasp.

“Hurtful~ you babo, that is not nice!”

“Oh relax~ I’m just kidding~ of course I’ve missed you! Now thank to you guys, I have to have Kangdae-oppa by my side for company until you get your back home so I can hug it.” A laugh emerged from my phone. I smiled from hearing this. Then I asked, “Where are they?” I was referring to the rest of the members since I only hear him and not the others.

Onew let out a hum before answering, “They are inside the dormitory we have here – I just came outside for some fresh air. We’re currently on a short break before we move on for our photo-shoot,” he paused for a moment. “Soon, Mi-ja, soon… we’ll be back soon… I’m sorry that we’re making you wait for us…”

My heart thudded at his soft, kind words. I glanced over at Kangdae who only smiled at me, giving me a short wave. I only blinked, my eyes averting to the ground as I turned away. “…When? I really miss you guys… you have no idea how much you changed my life…” I mumbled out softly, my cheeks faint red.

“One week. Just wait for one more week. We’re just really busy right now and it’s tiring, but one more week before the Showdown – can you do that for me? For us…?”

 I stayed quiet for a bit before mumbling out a ‘yes’. The bell rang. Kangdae came up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder, signaling me that I should leave for my lesson. “Ah, mianhae, but I got to go – it’s my cooking lesson now.” How I wanted to do cooking with Taemin and Minho… I snickered at that one time when Taemin would make a simple ramen into something…extravagant. Honey, sugar, chili paste – SHINee didn’t let him cook for dinner at home after that. Even in cooking class, Minho had to keep watch of what’s he adding so he doesn’t try to poison anyone.

“Arraseo, I shouldn’t make you be late. You should go. I should do the same.” He sounded sad. It felt like our conversation only took a minute. It felt too short.

“…Annyeong. Don’t stress yourself out and get injured. Wish you guys all the best! SHINee, hwaiting…!”

“Gomawo, Mi~ for your kind support. Annyeong~”

The call ended there. My heart ached. I frowned at this feeling. I hate how I’m gaining feelings for SHINee so easily. I hate it. I hate how my mind troubles me to pick out one out of the five men; pick out one of the men that makes my heart beats fast the most. I hate missing them when even one of them is absent. I hate feeling anxious about their wellbeing; I hate having to go through all this bull.

Yet…I like it. It tells me that I really do care for them.

Kangdae stared at me who was staring at the black phone screen before patting my back to gather my attention. He smiled when our eyes met. “Don’t worry – they’ll be back soon.” I stared at the black screen before tucking the phone away into my pocket and nodded.

“I hope so…”

And that was all we’ve said as we’ve parted ways.

I sat in the music room during my free time. Though classes are available in the evening, I’ve decided to use that time to find something to play. I’m only two weeks away from that deadline and only one week away until SHINee’s arrival. I’m done with Min-Ae’s performance, and all that is left is to prepare for mine. I leaned against the mirror wall, the glass reflecting the image as I sat there, staring at the piano from the short distance in front of me. I looked down at my open notebook, my eyes darting across the page as I looked over the titles of the songs I have written down, the songs I wanted to cover.

Then, my phone vibrated next to me, this time, the ringtone was SHINee’s ‹Evil›.

Evil, evil, it’s like a criminal in my mind
evil, evil, it’s like a terminator in the night—

I picked up the phone instantly after hearing those two lines, knowing who was calling me.

“Ne, Key-umma~ what’s up?”

“Mi-baby~ I miss you, like, so~ bad!! Ei, I heard recently from Min that there was a rumor at university that you and Kangdae are dating!? Mwo—care to explain?!” He sounded pissed—and a bit jealous too. I sighed at this. I should have known that even Min wouldn’t bother to keep trap shut.

“Key-umma, it’s a total misunderstanding – we were talking at that one time, and for some odd reason, someone from our school caught us linking arms and assumed that we’re dating when in reality, I was holding onto him for support because the sidewalk was so narrow and the town was pretty busy. I was holding onto him so I don’t get dragged away by the sea of people,” I said in exasperation, clearly ticked off with the rumors. “We tried to persuade them but obviously, due to my ‘bad’ reputation, they didn’t take it seriously and believes that we’re still dating. And I do mean, still dating. Which we aren’t, jinjja…” I was complaining about my problems to Key. He’s the only person I’m able to speak my problems to. “Even Su-Min believes that rumor and is twisting up lies to make them believe that I’m a ty by telling them about my ‘ life’ which I don’t have, at all!” I whined, flailing my legs as I sat on the floor. I could hear Key hushing me, soothing me with such calming words.

“Okay, okay, calm down Mi-baby, take a deep breath and loosen up – don’t get too stressed over it…” His voice was gentle and calm. It was like as if he’s there in front of me, holding my face and engaging eye contact with me in order to calm me down. My heart sped up and my face grew red. I shook my head, getting rid of that fluttering feeling in my brain and did exactly what he told me to do as I breathed in and out.

“Ok… I’m okay now…” I told him in a small voice. Silence droned on for a moment. “What time is it there?”

I heard him let out a small yawn before answering, “It’s night time here – possibly 1 AM.”

“Mwo—why were you awake at that time!? You should be sleeping!”

“I know but… I miss you, Mi-baby…I couldn’t sleep as peacefully as I used to…” I smiled softly at this. So that was the problem? He couldn’t sleep… “Sing to me, Mi-baby.” Key said to me. “I might feel sleepy if you sing to me. Plus, I want to hear your voice.” I chuckled at his wish. Oh, well, not that I’m complaining about it…

I sat up straight, loosening my tight muscles in my shoulders as I straightened my back, bending away from the mirror. “Well, what do you want me to sing?”

“Anything—even soft songs sung in English, if you’d feel comfortable with that.” He suggested. I could feel him smiling through my phone and I couldn’t help but smile as well.

“Alright, hold on,” I told him as I pulled my phone away from my ear and set it into speakers. I stayed quiet for a momentary time, thinking of what I should sing to him as a lullaby. A particular song came into my head and after taking a deep breath, I began to sing:

To me, who was walking that dark road alone
To me, who wasn’t even aware of my spilling tears
You came closer like a blinding light and shined on me
Your hands took away my tears
Now I have realized

The many times I’ve shared with you
The happy moments I’ve spent without realizing
The road that I’ve walked so far
The road that I’ve walked in loneliness as I cried
You make it all different
I’ve come to know now
The reason why
This road before me is beautiful

Listening to the lyrics, it does match me and my life at one point. It’s similar to how I’ve first met SHINee and how they are changing me completely and bringing this kind of me out, to show the people that I’m more than just a nerd, more than just a wallflower. They are here to tell me to forget what people say and just be me. I smiled as I finished singing their song, ‹The Reason›, ending the note.

I could hear soft snoring from the other line of the phone call. I giggled at this. I cannot believe that he actually fell asleep listening to my voice. But I couldn’t blame him – he must be tired with all the things he had done. I feel bad for SHINee, having to do so much work and maintain such a busy schedule, but I knew that they’re working hard to make us happy. They want us to be happy and that’s all they need. I held the phone close to my lips and whispered, “Good night, Key…” I hung the call. Once again, my heart ached, but more painfully this time. My breath hitched at this harsh contraction. I’m… not ill, am I? I hope not…

My phone rang again, with ‹Dream Girl› playing out as its ringtone.

Dream Girl~ seems like I can touch you, but I can’t
Dream Girl~ every night I wait for you like this
Dream~ Girl~ you sweetly whisper love to me
Then you disappear in the morning, dream girl~

I purposely ignored the call as it ended. Don’t answer the call, don’t answer the call, don’t answer—my phone rang again. I groaned, answering the call and yelled, “Go to bed!”

A whine from a certain dino came out. “Mi-Mi~ how mean! I just wanted to talk to you!”

“Well, obviously not right now, Jonghyun-oppa, I’m here in the music room, thinking of what to do for the Talent Showdown due in two weeks’ time, I’m pissed off with the rumors and I’m totally freaking out. After my call with Key, you came in afterwards, like what’s up with that!?” I huffed out in mock-annoyance before chuckling. “I’m not annoyed with you, I’m actually glad to hear from you.”

“Jjeup…that’s good, I thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me…”

“Mwo—are you crazy? I’ll be punching myself if I said that I never wanted to hear from you! Of course I do! …How’s your day and why are you still up?”

An intake of breath was taken before he exhaled. “It was tiring. Practicing and doing our rehearsals for the upcoming concert; doing photo-shoots; going around all over the place; I’m tired and I wish you were here to charge me up. You’re like a battery charger and if I saw you here in Japan, I’d spring back up to life and continue to work diligently.” Well, that’s a very positive interpretation of me. “And I always stay up late, you know that! Well, actually, I just came down to get a glass of water and you suddenly popped into my head, hence the fact we’re now talking via mobile…”

“Aw~ that’s so sweet. I wish I was there to cheer you guys up too, but stay strong, Jonghyun-oppa! Don’t give up and stay strong – for me, please?” I asked him, a small smile on my face. I could hear him chuckle in my ear, the vibrations tickling my brain and my heart.

“Arraseo, I’ll stay strong, for you.”

I smiled at his promise. “Good – now go to bed.”

“Ani,” he simply said with a huff. Oh, playing the bad, naughty child now… I rolled my eyes at this.

“Jonghyun-oppa, you have to go to bed. You need your rest in order to avoid falling asleep during work!”

“To hell with that, I want to talk to you more!” I heard him say to me through the phone and there’s no doubt that he’s pouting that infamous, adorable puppy pout. I pinched my nose bridge. Aish, I’ll have to do this, don’t I? I cleared my throat, staying silent for a moment.

“Kim~ Jong~ hyun~” My voice grew dark and cold, and pretty serious. I heard him ‘eek!’ at this – there’s no doubt that he’ll forget that time he made me angry. It’s like he’s having a trauma from that.

“A-Arraseo, I’ll go to bed, I’ll go to bed!” He yelled out, clearly sorry and scared like the crybaby he is.

I brightened up, happy with my little trick on him. “Good boy! Who’s such a good boy? Jamong is! Oh yes you are~ jja-ri-mong-dang~” I with that line Onew told me for Jonghyun’s nickname. I began laughing when I heard him yell on the other line, exclaiming in embarrassment. My laughter died down after a while and I was only left with a small smile on my face. “Annyeong…good luck with everything and don’t get hurt! Hwaiting~ I’ll be here waiting.”

“Ne~”

We’ve said our goodbyes softly before we hung up. Now I can think… Everything stayed quiet for a short period of time until my phone beeped in my hand. …Not. I re-entered the passcode from my locked screen and saw the text from Jonghyun which had an attachment. Curious, I opened it before laughing out loud at the picture.

“Ah, mwoya~” I exclaimed out, grinning as I saw the picture of Jonghyun’s face, his lips out as he pouted. I could see the sparkles in his big, chocolate brown eyes. His bleached blonde hair was pulled back with a hairpin, his forehead showing. I could see his natural dark roots which clearly proved that he had dyed his hair. Despite the black circles that were beginning to form underneath his eyelids, he looked strong and lively. He looked like a gigantic puppy. I giggled at this before putting the phone away into my pocket and standing up, my boots clacking on the wooden floor as I made my way towards the piano.

As I grew close, I took my seat and opened the lid, revealing the black and white keys, polished and shining underneath the lights of the room. I could only stare down at them. At first, as my fingers rested on the cold keys, I played impromptu until I just played out short intros from certain songs, like a small tune.

Marina, Demi, IU, AOA, f(x), Daughter, T-ara, Lim Kim, Lyn, Fat Cat, SPICA, Ivy, Turan—many ran through my head but I couldn’t think of any other. My phone went off with a ringing bells alert tone on the wooden musical object. I picked it up and saw a message coming from Taemin. I took a long look at the message he sent and smiled, my lips curving upwards.

From: Dance‼TaeMan
To: Mi-ja ★
MJ! ㅋㅋ Ani, I’m not talking about Michael
Jackson, babo! I’m talking about you! I miss
you so badly~ ㅜ_ㅜ I’m so sad~ I want to
be by your side already~ I hope you don’t forget
us and support us mentally! We could really use
your spiritual help ㅋㅋㅋ Minho is fast asleep, so
don’t be sad if you didn’t get a message from him, ne?
Wish us luck!

I smiled at his text message and check out the attachment that came along with it. I began laughing at the photo. It was a photo of Minho huddled up into his blanket, fast asleep with his phone beside him. How adorable! He must have been really tired!

I grinned and fiddled with my smartphone for a moment before having an idea come into my head. I got up from the piano seat and walked over to my bag that was leaning against the mirror wall. I dug into it, searching for my tablet pen before holding it out in triumph, a grin on my face. I held out my Samsung smartphone and looked into the camera. I winked, smiling with a fist to my face before my thumb pressed the button, hearing the quiet shutter.

Yes, I’m taking a selca, but I’m doing something.

After taking the picture, I looked at it and started decorating it, putting two red dots onto my cheeks and a sparkle right next to my wink. Then, I took out my pen and wrote something in sparkling red.

샤이니 파이팅~~! (SHINee, Hwaiting!)

(A/N: Actually, it’s ‘Paiting’ as that’s how you say it, but eh, I’m more used to writing ‘Hwaiting’ than ‘Paiting’ – it looks more ‘normal’. And yes, I’m learning how to read and write Korean. It’s only the basics, really, alphabet and all. I’m not actually planning to use the language just so I can understand what they are saying on various shows like Star King or We Got Married – I just wanted to learn for fun. Plus, it seems like a fun language if you look at it in one way! :D)

After I was done with the decorations, I saved the picture and send it to all of the SHINee members via text at once. I smiled to myself, feeling like I’ve accomplished something. I hope they’ll receive good luck from this… I pray that they’ll come back to me safely…

I blinked twice. To…me…? My cheeks grew red at what I’ve just thought. W-What am I saying?! Did I just think that?! ‘They’ll come back to me?’ Omo, I’m really falling for them! I cupped my reddened cheeks and shook my head madly. I couldn’t just believe it at all. I clasped my hands to my chest as I felt my heart racing just with one thought of them. How am I going to choose one of them? I sighed at my feelings that kept growing more and more by the minute every time I’m one around each individual of SHINee. Then, strangely, whilst thinking that and of other things, a melody came into my head. I hummed it out subconsciously, nodding my head to the beat before gasping in surprise, a smile on my face.

“I’ve got it! I know what song I’m going to sing now!” I exclaimed with a grin, pushing the piano seat back as I stood up abruptly. I ran over to my bag, quickly slung over it my shoulder and went out of the room in a rush. I finally got something for once! I thought to myself with a grin. I’m sure SHINee will love it once I finish doing the recording.

“Ah, and I’ll have to mention their copyrights too, as it’s not my song I’m rendering but theirs, and I need to ask permission too,” I mumbled to myself as I went down the empty corridor, a hand to my chin. “I wonder if I’m able to edit it into an instrumental, that’ll be nice as I’ll be singing live.” I nodded twice, humming as I walked, my boots making soft stepping noises on the tiled, hallow floor. “And I need to memorize the lyrics and edit the music a bit so it’s nice and clear enough for people to hear. I also need to go into the recording room at home to record my voice and see if it’s good enough live—ah, I’m so excited!” I grinned happily, clapping my hands happily as if I reverted back into my childhood days.

I continued to hum the song before giggling. It just seems like a nice song to sing. I’d bet that’ll get everyone jumping and dancing. Hwang Su-Min, eat your heart out, I’ll make sure I win the Showdown! I thought to myself with a smirk, pushing my glasses up my nose bridge as I looked out the window, seeing the dark, black sky and the moonlight shining down onto the secluded campus that consist of nothing but a few guards outside. Even if I lost, SHINee will never go to your side. I grinned and nodded at this statement. I’ve already told Key that I’ll be his and SHINee’s bodyguard, and there’s no taking it back now so obviously, when they’re in trouble, I’ll be the one to be by their side and save them.

I then ran down the hallway, my eyes bright as I rushed to the exit. I ran past somebody, but I didn’t dare stop to see, thinking that it’s just the cleaning staff. As I turned around the corner, I’ve failed to see the glaring eyes of that said person.

A/N: Thank you so much for waiting this long for me to re-update the chapters! I'm sorry it took so long but you know what happens when I'm going without wifi. The whole editing took shorter than usual, and it would have been updated sooner, but because of the unstable wifi, I had to wait much longer to finish re-updating the chapters before I put up the new chapter. I am currently working on chapter 34 as it is 3/4 done, so please anticipate it! Feel free to re-read the chapters I've updated!

I actually wanted to do an double update as a reward for waiting, but with things going on as it is now, it got pushed back, sorry! >;