Note: A yangachi is basically a wannabe gangster. You know, they listen to rap and pretend to be from the ghetto but actually live in a good neighbourhood with a nice family. They think they’re hard but as soon as a bad situation comes along they go crying to their mums.

~*~

These past few years Nam Soon had done his best to avoid trouble, so naturally trouble always seemed to find him.

Today, unfortunately, was one of those days.

On his way to school he spotted some little yangachi brats who had been hanging around his neighbourhood for the past few days harassing Kim Jae Hyuk, a kid a few years younger than him. Usually Nam Soon would just carry on, but the kid had lent him some money the month before when he was short so he went over to help.

“The do you want?” One of them questioned as he got near, but Nam Soon didn’t spare him a glance. He put a hand on Jae Hyuk’s shoulder and began to lead him away but a hand grabbed hold of his arm and roughly turned him back.

He shoved the hand from him and squared up to the guy who’d touched him. “ off back to mummy, kid.”

The little bastard went to punch him, but Nam Soon used his arm to knock the fist away and pushed the brat a few steps back with the hand he’d had on Jae Hyuk. “ off, kid.” He warned again, but the brat took no notice and went to punch him for the second time.

This time Nam Soon caught his arm and yanked the little bastard off balance, causing him to fall at Nam Soon’s feet.

His two friends helped him back up and Nam Soon let them; hopefully they’d get the message and leave. However, the idiot squared back up to him, but at least he seemed to have the sense to not try taking another swing at him.

“ing ,” the little sneered, spitting at Nam Soon’s feet.

Nam Soon hit the er straight in the face as soon as the words left his mouth. He hit him again, anger swelling at the insult. The ing little , he thought he could call Nam Soon a and get away with it?

He thought of Heung Soo, of someone calling him a , and his anger raised, but it wasn’t just about that. He didn’t like getting called a himself, it felt profoundly personal and he wasn’t sure why.

The brat was bleeding heavily from his nose and his friends were trying to pull him back, but he was resisting. Well, Nam Soon would help them along. He went to punch him again but a soft grip took hold of his arm. Distracted by the touch, he turned his head to see Jae Hyuk who shook his head and told him to leave it.

Somewhat steadied by the hand, Nam Soon breathed heavily through his nose and told himself to calm down. He didn’t need to be fighting.

“Touched a nerve, huh?” Oh, this kid just didn’t know when to shut up. “Everybody’s ing seen you, always with that guy with the gimp leg. Is it true he was your boyfriend and you used to beat him up? That’s why his leg’s ed?”

What? The words registered in Nam Soon’s head but he had a hard time understanding them. Was that some ing rumour going around? That he was some kind of abusive boyfriend? Nam Soon didn’t know himself how he would react to this and surprised himself when he felt oddly calm. A strange calmness seemed to settle into his very bones, and it was so unexpected that Nam Soon wondered if it was actually rage, if this was the calm before he snapped. Perhaps it was, because the three little s suddenly looked frightened by whatever expression they saw on his face.

Unexpectedly, Nam Soon laughed. It was dark humour, he wasn’t a slightest bit amused by this situation, but he couldn’t seem to take the smirk from his face. “Aigoo, this little yangachi trying to be a man. How adorable.” He yanked their pathetic little group’s aggressor over to him by his shirt collar, hard enough to restrict his breathing, until their faces were inches apart. “You’ve got one more chance to run along back home to mummy and daddy before I break every ing bone in your body.”

He really hoped the little er would leave because Nam Soon wasn’t a fighter any more, he was just Go Nam Soon and that’s how he wanted it to stay. But if he’s pushed…

Thankfully, the brats got the message this time.

Nam Soon watched them go, eyes narrowed as he contained his anger as best as he could, but it was still fighting to pour out of him and hit something – hard and repeatedly. Once they’d disappeared around a corner Jae Hyuk pattered him on the back. “You shouldn’t pay them any attention; nobody actually thinks you’re gay.”

Nam Soon snorted, because that’s not what had angered him so much. Sure, the comment had started it, but what they said he’d done to Heung Soo… he had to force himself to not just go after them and beat them so bad they couldn’t even crawl.

Still fuming, he waved Jae Hyuk off and continued on his way to school, jaw tight with anger and he wasn’t feeling any calmer by the time he got in to class and sat beside Heung Soo, who’d been idly scrolling through his phone before Nam Soon had kicked out his own chair and dropped into his seat with an expression that did nothing to hide how he was feeling.

He saw Heung Soo raise an eyebrow from the corner of his eye. “What’s up with you?”

For a moment he considered lying, but quickly decided against it. He told him what happened, what those little ers said (only a slight hesitation at the ‘beating up your boyfriend’ part, though he was writhing internally in outrage with a side of embarrassment). He was expecting Heung Soo to be angry, as angry as he was, so was confused when he just leaned back further into his chair. “People are still saying that? In Seoul too?”

Nam Soon was baffled. “What do you mean still saying it?”

Heung Soo gave him a look as if he were a particularly stupid five year old. “We were well known, Nam Soon-ah. Everyone knew about us and how close we were. Then suddenly I’m in hospital and you’ve disappeared. Of course people made up their own ideas of what happened.”

Nam Soon blinked at him in response. Why had he never thought about that? It’d never even entered his mind what kind of rumours would have been spreading across their old hometown after he’d walked away. “There were others too?”

“Yeah, though that one was the worst,” Heung Soo said, distaste clear in his voice. “Some of them were ing stupid, but I did kind of like the one that said I killed you and hid your body.”

“Seriously? That was actually a rumour?”

Heung Soo gave him a grin that was all teeth, and he didn’t for a moment doubt he really had liked that rumour at the time.

Still, Heung Soo’s amusement didn’t help him settle his anger. The knowledge of all kinds of rumours going around discussing them, things which had nothing to do with nosey strangers, was maddening all on its own.

“Who started the rumour about…” he gestured between them, not wanting to say it again. Whoever it was would be a fantastic person to take all this anger out on.

“That bastard Lee Shin Dae.” Heung Soo told him and Nam Soon remembered the guy clearly, he’d always wanted what Nam Soon had in terms of the iljin. He was a sly little creep through and through. “Didn’t take me too long to find out, and as soon as I was off my crutches one of the first things I did was beat the out of him.”

Good. It’s certainly what he’d expect Heung Soo to do, and he was glad he did. He did wonder though, what part of the rumour had upset Heung Soo the most? Did he already like Nam Soon by then? He’d told Nam Soon he realised he liked him after he’d left, but it wouldn’t have been that soon would it?

He was nervous as he asked his next question, voice coming out quieter than he wanted it too. “Were you more upset from him saying I beat you, or him saying I was your boyfriend and beat you?”

A few moments of silence past and Heung Soo wet his lips, gaze falling just short of Nam Soon’s eyes. “The day I got out of hospital I went to your place, or what was your place. For a moment, I imagined you there, sat reading comics waiting for me to come over. I was really ing happy, and it didn’t matter that you didn’t come visit me in hospital, I forgave you because you were right there waiting. But then it was just… empty. You were a stupid figment of my imagination. I stayed there crying all day until my noona came and dragged me home.”

Nam Soon’s eyes fell to his desk in shame. It wasn’t a direct answer, but he understood the confession for what it was.

He never intended to hurt Heung Soo. Since the day he met him he’s only ever wanted to see Heung Soo happy, to make him laugh. He’s done a really terrible job of that.

There was no way he could protect Heung Soo, he couldn’t fight an enemy that wasn’t physical. He couldn’t erase what he’d done, he couldn’t stop the words of others. He couldn’t fight the past or the future and even the present seemed out of his control.

He thought of the types of rumours that would’ve gone around, he thought of Heung Soo crying alone in Nam Soon’s abandoned home. And then he thought of people finding out Heung Soo’s gay, he thought of people calling Heung Soo a , he thought of people whispering about Heung Soo behind his back or even disrespecting him to his face, trying to humiliate him because they didn’t like anything that differed from them. Then he thought about the anger, the humiliation he felt just this morning when he was called a .

“I don’t want to be gay,” he whispered, eyes locked on Heung Soo’s and he felt like he could cry. He didn’t want people calling him a , didn’t want to be judged by faceless people he would never meet, didn’t want to be made ashamed of himself by media and society.

“I know,” Heung Soo replied simply, no further words needed because he did know.

Nam Soon rested his head on his desk, Heung Soo gazed out the window and they stayed quiet as the clock ticked the seconds, the minutes, the hours by until the scraping of chairs and chatter of friends began the lunch period. Everybody rushed from the room, eager for the short freedom before more classes, leaving the two at their desks alone.

Nam Soon got to his feet first and began a slow walk to the door, but half way across the room Heung Soo stopped him with a hand on his arm: like a bad parody of the fight that morning. He turned but Heung Soo wasn’t doing anything, he was just looking at him. Nam Soon watched him back, waiting for something to happen. Then Heung Soo leaned forward and dry lips pressed softly against his own.