He didn’t know how long he sat there, alone on the ally ground, but eventually he had to get up. He pushed himself to his feet and wondered out onto the street, unsure of what to do with himself. He could go home, but he didn’t want to sit there alone with nothing but his thoughts for company. He had nowhere to go but school, and wasn’t that always the case? Nothing but school. No friend to skive off with, no place of comfort he could pass the time at. Just stupid ing school where he’d have nothing to do but sleep and ignore teachers so they wouldn’t ask him the answer for a question he didn’t know and show everyone what a dumb he is.

He kicked a loose stone out onto the road, hoping it’d give someone a flat tyre.

He was back at school within minutes, jumping the gate and heading back to his homeroom, though he didn’t rush seeing as he was already so late.

When he stepped into the room, it was to be greeted by a rather pissed looking teacher. This must be his new homeroom teacher, Nam Soon vaguely recognised him from seeing him around the school. He bowed politely, “Sorry I’m late, teacher.”

He man clucked his tongue, clearing displeased. “Another late arriver on the first day back, your tardiness is unequalled by any other class in this school.”

Nam Soon didn’t reply, merely bowed again in apology. “Very well, sit down. You’ll be joining Park Heung Soo in detention.”

Nam Soon swept his gaze around the room, eyes landing on Heung Soo sat near the back. He was looking back at him, and Nam Soon hesitated in going over. There was an empty seat besides him and one other behind Eun Hye. Even with the awkwardness between them though, Heung Soo was still a better option than Eun Hye so he walked over and sat down, immediately putting his arms onto the desk and pillowing his head on them, though he kept his eyes open and facing Heung Soo.

They’d have to talk more, they still had to work this out, the matter was far from settled but he didn’t feel ready for it yet. With what Heung Soo said… Nam Soon didn’t have to think about it, did he? Of course he knew what he felt. He wasn’t confused or in denial, or whatever Heung Soo thought he was.

He looked at Heung Soo, really looked at him. Could he ever like him? Heung Soo was attractive by society’s standards; he was tall with a strong jaw and broad shoulders, he had a masculine appearance without it going overboard. If he was a little friendlier to people Nam Soon had no doubt he’d find himself with a lot of female admirers in the school. Not, Nam Soon reminded himself with an internal wince, that Heung Soo would care about that. And that was yet another thing Nam Soon had yet to fully understand and make sink into his head: Heung Soo’s gay. While Nam Soon is certainly not homophobic (he doesn’t really care what others do, he has zero interest in things that don’t directly involve himself or Heung Soo), he never would have imagined, even in passing, that Park Heung Soo could be gay. He’d always thought of gay guys as feminine; the whole limp wristed, high voiced, drama queen deal. He didn’t think gay guys could be like Heung Soo, but now he realised they obviously could because he’s certainly never seen Heung Soo squeal with delight when he saw a pair of shoes and exclaim he must  have them because they were absolutely ‘to die for’. There was more chance of teacher Kang taking up belly dancing.

That also meant that if gay guys could be like Heung Soo, then they could be like Nam Soon too. No, he didn’t want to think about that. Just because Heung Soo was gay and shared a lot of personality traits with Nam Soon, it didn’t mean they shared that particular trait.

It was fine that Heung Soo was gay, Nam Soon wouldn’t change his opinion of him, he wouldn’t stop being his friend, but he had to make Heung Soo understand that nothing would ever happen between them. Nam Soon didn’t hold any interest in men. He likes girls. He… he’s sure he likes girls.

A little voice of doubt began to creep up in his mind, do you really?

Does he think about girls? Has he ever had the desire to a girl? Or even kiss one?

! Why do these thoughts keep on popping up?! He doesn’t ing need this in his life. Why can’t he just be happy having his best friend back by his side? All these unnecessary complications were ruining a good thing. He just had to push it all away, ignore everything until it just ed off and left him in peace.

He closed his eyes and turned his head away from Heung Soo. He just wanted to sleep the rest of the day away and hopefully wake up to a better tomorrow.

“Student!”

Nam Soon’s eyes snapped open and he shot his head up to find  the teacher (what was his name?) stood not two feet from him.

“Would you like to inform the class why it is that you believe it’s okay for you to go to sleep while everyone else must stay up and learn?”

“Err…” Nam Soon looked around the room, everyone was staring at him. “Because of my charming personality?”

A laugh went around the room but the teacher was not the least bit amused, the sour old bastard. “I will not tolerate snide remarks in this classroom. You will stay behind after school and I shall ring your parents.”

. Nam Soon could feel his face fall. He didn’t want school phoning his dad. Without a doubt the man will be drunk. He doesn’t want anyone knowing about his drinking problem, only Heung Soo knows that. All Nam Soon could do was hope his dad wouldn’t answer the phone. He usually didn’t, so hopefully he’ll get lucky.

This bastard teacher. Nam Soon was already missing teacher Jung, even teacher Kang was preferable to this guy.

He didn’t expect Heung Soo to speak up and looked over in surprise when the other boy got to his feet.

“Don’t you think you should be a little easier on the first day back?” He gestured over to Nam Soon. “You don’t even know why he was tired and late. Maybe you should ask rather than just judge people so quickly.”

Heung Soo’s words were polite, but his tone was not. The whole class, Nam Soon included, were staring at him now.

The teacher took a few steps from Nam Soon to Heung Soo, standing right next to him.

“I suggest,” the teacher said through gritted teeth, obviously not used to being challenged, especially not by a student, “that you sit down, student.”

Heung Soo not only stayed standing but turned to him, looming a good six inches taller than the teacher. “Don’t wanna.”

What the Hell was he doing? He was going to get himself in so much trouble on the first day. The idiot couldn’t afford to do that. He’d already been expelled from so many schools that this one was his last chance; if he got kicked out no other school would take him.

Nam Soon tired to think of what he could do to ease the situation but nothing was coming to mind.

The teacher looked furious at Heung Soo’s backtalk. “I see I shall be calling in your parents as well.”

Heung Soo snorted in apparent disinterest, but Nam Soon didn’t miss the tightening of his jaw. “Well, that’ll be pretty ing hard given the fact my mum’s dead and my dad ed off years ago.”

The teacher was left spluttering in outrage at the language and disrespect, but Nam Soon wasn’t paying attention to him. His eyes were wide and fixed firmly on Heung Soo in shock.

He’d never spoken so blatantly about his parents before. He’d hardly even told Nam Soon much about his father, only that he wasn’t a nice man, and Nam Soon wasn’t naïve enough to need more of an explanation than that. The fact that he’d just mentioned him openly, in the middle of class, left Nam Soon reeling in shock, but not as much as the comment about his mother did.

Heung Soo, like Nam Soon, was by nature a private person, nobody at school, aside from Nam Soon, knew about his home situation. They didn’t know Heung Soo’s mother was dead, or that he only lived with his sister.

But to mention his mothers death so casually? Heung Soo had always loved his mother, had always been very close to her. To say that Nam Soon had no doubt that Heung Soo was beyond angry.

He looked closely over Heung Soo; his fists were clenched so tight that almost his entire hands were white, his body had a slight tremor as if he were holding himself back from lashing out and his eyes were dark with a look Nam Soon knew all to well from their younger days. It was the look he had when he fought. Heung Soo was looking to start a fight and Nam Soon knew he wasn’t the only one seeing this rage; the teacher backed up a few steps, clearly intimidated.

As soon as he saw this Nam Soon jumped to his feet. He grabbed Heung Soo by his arm and led him from the room. It didn’t matter that they were in the middle of class, Nam Soon just had to get him out of there before he did something he’d regret.

Nobody tired to stop them; the teacher seemed too stunned by the act of outright aggression, he was rooted to the spot, and the students were deathly silent.

Nam Soon pulled Heung Soo down the corridor, getting him far away from the classroom as quickly as he could.

By the time they came to a stop, Heung Soo was still shaking. Nam Soon faced him and put steadying hands on his shoulders. “What was that?” This was obviously about more than a teacher getting prissy with them.

Heung Soo didn’t answer; he turned his face away from Nam Soon, lips pressed tight.

“Heung Soo-ya?”

He refused to answer and Nam Soon bit his lip. The only thing he could think of that could have set Heung Soo off was everything that had been happening between them lately. Perhaps Heung Soo wasn’t as put together as Nam Soon presumed. He’s been so absorbed in his own thoughts, his own feelings that he’d been forgetting to think of Heung Soo’s. Heung Soo seemed so sure of himself, so confident, that Nam Soon didn’t even think to look under the surface. He berated himself for this now. Of course Heung Soo wasn’t okay. He’d spent three long years trying to come to terms with the fact that he had feelings for the bastard who broke his leg and abandoned him with nothing but a shattered dream. He had to realise his uality in a society he wouldn't be excepted in with no support, no one to talk too. He’d just confessed to Nam Soon that he liked him, that he was gay. No doubt Nam Soon was the first, the only, person he told. Nam Soon was suddenly overwhelmed at the realisation of how hard that must have been for him. How hard these past few years must have been dealing with his feelings and coming to terms with himself on top of all the hurt and loneliness. How hard it still was because Nam Soon was still running from him, emotionally if not physically.

“Is it because of me?” Nam Soon asked, barely able to make his voice louder than a whisper as he regretted all his mistakes afresh.

Heung Soo didn’t answer, but he didn’t need too, his expression said it all.

Nam Soon nodded, more to confirm it to himself than anything. “Okay. That’s okay.”

He breathed through his nose and took Heung Soo’s hands. “Come on. We can’t get in any more trouble so we’re gonna go find teacher Jung, have her excuse us from school, then we’re gonna go eat some ramen.”

Heung Soo still said nothing, but he followed.