Nam Soon banged on Heung Soo’s front door, but nobody was answering. He stepped back and peered through a window. There didn’t seem to be anyone home. Heung Soo must still be out with his dog, and Soo Min at work. He sighed and leaned his back against the door. He’d just have to wait for Heung Soo to come back.

He slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor, feet flat and knees bent, forearms resting on them.

He had no idea what he was going to say. As soon as he’d decided that Heung Soo was what he wanted, he’d rushed straight here, but now he realised that he hasn’t thought this through at all.

Will Heung Soo be pissed off? He had every right to be. Admitting to himself that he’s gay and rushing here, he’d almost forgot that not even two hours ago he busted Heung Soo’s lip and cheek, had knocked him over with a harsh kick to his bad leg and basically had been the biggest bastard in Korea, possibly all of Asia.

God, was it really only a few hours ago? It felt like it was a whole different life, like he’d suddenly been dropped in an alternative universe or something.

Should he apologise again? Should he just tell him what he was feeling? Damn it, what should he do?

“Nam Soon-ah?” Heung Soo’s unsure voice broke his worrying, and Nam Soon’s eyes shot up in surprise to see Heung Soo shutting the gate, Pororo yanking at his lead, tongue out and panting with the effort to lunge forward. The dog almost pulled Heung Soo over, but Heung Soo grabbed the gate in time to steady himself. Nam Soon glared at the dog (though it’d do him no good) for almost hurting Heung Soo, cause he’d already done a good enough job of that himself without a dumb mutt adding to it, but Heung Soo didn’t even seem to notice the huge ball of furry energy as his eyes fixed firmly on Nam Soon. “What are you doing here?”

Nam Soon took a moment to be thankful that Heung Soo didn’t seem angry, just curious and perhaps the slightest bit reserved.

With the gate firmly closed, Heung Soo unclipped Pororo and Nam Soon had a few seconds of panic from the large dog bounding up to him, he could already picture big teeth, but Pororo stopped just short of barrelling into him to sniff at his face and clothes.

Nam Soon pushed the panting dog from his face before he got a drool bath and stood so he was level with Heung Soo. “I wanted to talk with you. Can we?”

“Oh… yeah,” Heung Soo said, a little awkward. “Okay. Let me just sort Pororo out first.”

Nam Soon nodded and stepped aside so Heung Soo could unlock the front door. The dog was the first to barge in, Heung Soo and Nam Soon following. Nam Soon shut the door and followed Heung Soo into the kitchen, where the other boy filled up a dog bowl with water before he placed it on the floor. They both stood watching Prororo lap it up noisily for a good minute before Heung Soo cleared his throat. “So, what did you want to say?”

“Right,” Nam Soon said, suddenly nervous and trying to find the right words. He thought of how honest Heung Soo was when Nam Soon questioned him if he were gay. Nam Soon could do that too. Short and honest. “You… you were right.” He confessed, and Heung Soo opened his mouth, presumably to ask about what, but not wanting to lose his nerve Nam Soon kept talking before Heung Soo could form a word. “I do like you.”

Nam Soon could see that Heung Soo was surprised, it was written across his face and his mouth opened to speak but no words were coming.

Nam Soon cleared his throat and fidgeted a little. “I like you, Heung Soo-ya. And… I want to be with you.”

“Seriously?” Heung Soo asked, disbelieving at the sudden turnaround, and Nam Soon couldn’t blame him for it. He felt awkward though, he wanted this part over, so they could get to… well, whatever it is that comes next.

“Aish, of course I’m being serious, bastard.” He took a few steps over to Heung Soo so they were chest to chest and took one of his hands in his own. Heung Soo looked down at them, and Nam Soon couldn’t read the expression. “You think I’d joke around like this with you?”

“No,” Heung Soo shook his head, eyebrows frowned. “I know you wouldn’t. But… what changed?”

Nam Soon brought up his free hand and ran his thumb over Heung Soo’s cuts, now scabbed but still visible. He stepped closer, until they were just inches apart and laid his head on Heung Soo’s shoulder, joint hands falling at their sides. “I’m an idiot, but now I’m being a bit less of an idiot.”

Heung Soo chuckled, and Nam Soon smiled when he felt the vibrations. Although Heung Soo hesitated, because of course he’s still not completely sure what’s happening  or what caused this turn of events, Nam Soon’s smile widened when Heung Soo’s free arm wrapped around his waist.

“I like you being an idiot, it makes me look smart.”

Nam Soon’s smile morphed in to a grin and he let go of Heung Soo’s hand so they could hug properly, wrapping his arms around Heung Soo’s back and Heung Soo’s second arm joined the other around Nam Soon’s waist.

“Nothing could make you look smart, you dumb bastard.” Nam Soon snarked playfully, amusement colouring his voice.

“Yah,” Heung Soo rebuked, though with no real heat in his voice. “You’re ruining the moment, bastard.”

“Oh,” Nam Soon said, tone switching from playful teasing to another kind of teasing all together. He moved his head from Heung Soo’s shoulder so they were stood facing each other, lips inches apart and Nam Soon’s gaze went down to Heung Soo’s lips. They looked very pink, and very tempting. “I should probably fix that then.”

Although he’d been going along with it well so far, a flash of surprise crossed Heung Soo’s face at Nam Soon’s tone, and Nam Soon knew Heung Soo hadn’t see this coming, or perhaps more likely didn’t wish to get his hopes up, despite Nam Soon’s confession. So Nam Soon ran a hand along his back, reassuring him that this was actually happening, that Nam Soon meant it when he said he wants to be with him. This was so out of the blue for Heung Soo he probably didn’t know what to think, but at Nam Soon’s action he relaxed and held on to him a little more securely. Nam Soon could see the confidence come back into his stance.

“You should,” Heung Soo murmured his reply, and then closed the gap between them before any more words could be exchanged.

Their lips met and it may not be their first kiss, but it was their first real kiss, and Nam Soon wished he’d done it sooner, because damn it felt good. Heung Soo felt so good against him. He doesn’t even really know what he’s meant to be doing but that’s okay because Heung Soo moved so naturally with him it worked itself out.

His heart thundered in his chest at the press of lips, of Heung Soo responding and reciprocating to even the slightest of his movements. Nam Soon felt heated, a tingling warmth lit up every part of him; the feel of Heung Soo against him set his nerve endings on fire. The touch of Heung Soo’s lips was engrained in to his memory and he didn’t want to give this up. He had never felt this good, never even knew it was possible to. With Heung Soo’s lips against his, with his arms pulling Heung Soo closer and Heung Soo’s arms wrapped around him tightly, he felt like he could take on the world.

It felt so good, so amazing, yet the simplicity of it was astounding. How could he feel so alive with emotion and sensation at such a seemingly small act? Did all kisses feel this good? Nam Soon didn’t know, but he planned to find out by continuing to kiss Heung Soo at every given opportunity in the future. For now he just pressed himself closer, as close as he physically could, against Heung Soo so his could feel each rise and fall of his chest, each movement of muscle. Heung Soo’s arms were warm and firm around his waist and his tongue swiped at Nam Soon’s lower lip, so he parted them and let Heung Soo in. Their tongues met and Nam Soon eagerly allowed Heung Soo to explore and taste, coaxing him, greedily tasting and taking everything Heung Soo was giving and returning as much pleasure as he could.

His eyes had closed at some point, Nam Soon didn’t even know when, but he opened them as they drew back for breath, but they didn’t part far; their lips still touched and their arms still held each other together.

Nam Soon breathed deeply, and through the haze of elation at Heung Soo’s presence and all the feelings he was submerged in, his brain was kicking back in to full working order, and what they were doing was suddenly very clear in the rational part of it.

“Heung Soo-ya,” Nam Soon said, voice level but an octave too high. Each movement of his lips was like another little kiss and Nam Soon was struggling to decide if he should pull away or keep on kissing him. “I’m kissing you.”

“You are,” Heung Soo agreed steadily, and Nam Soon latched onto that because he didn’t feel steady at all.

“And you’re kissing me.” Nam Soon continued, still keeping his voice level but a nervous flutter was building inside.

“I am,” Heung Soo agreed again.

“Oh.” Nam Soon said, more of an undignified squeak this time. He still couldn’t decide if he should be backing off or kissing him, but either way he felt like he was about to do something stupid. “That’s… I…”

Nam Soon went to take a step back because he didn’t think he could kiss right now, not with the unpleasant tension that was causing his hands to start shaking. But then Heung Soo tightened his arms around him and kept him in place. “You’re about to freak out aren’t you?”

Ideally, Nam Soon would have liked to say no to that, but said freak out was only moments away, so he just nodded his head and tried to still his hands. “Yep.”

“Mind if I intervene?”

He defiantly wanted that. Yes, please. Intervene right the Hell now. Because Nam Soon did want Heung Soo, he wanted this and everything that was to come. It all felt like too much right now but if he backed out at the beginning when would he have the courage (or lack of rationality, whichever it was) to do this again? “Oh God, please do.”

As soon as the words left Nam Soon’s mouth Heung Soo’s lips were on his again and Nam Soon melted against him, his hands stopped shaking and all he concentrated on was the press of Heung Soo’s lips against his own. It wasn’t as passionate as before, but it was reassuring and regulated his heartbeat.

He took a deep breath after Heung Soo pulled back. He relaxed as Heung Soo placed both his hands on the sides of Nam Soon’s head in a comforting gesture. “It’s fine, Nam Soon-ah,” Heung Soo promised, and Nam Soon found himself believing him. “We’re kissing. I like you, you like me. You’re gay, and it’s fine. You just need a moment to take it all in, okay?”

The hands left Nam Soon but their eyes were locked and Nam Soon nodded. Heung Soo had said he’s gay and it felt so… it was… Nam Soon wasn’t even sure exactly what he felt about it, but to hear it said aloud by another person, it made it all real. This was real, it was happening right now.

He nodded again, not sure what else to do. Heung Soo was right, he’s fine, of course he is. He’s just feeling a little thrown off his game, and he had every right to be in this situation. But he’d made his decision and he was sticking with it.

Nam Soon looked over every inch of Heung Soo’s face; his lips, his eyes, his cheek bones, taking in every detail in a way he never had before. This was his decision; Park Heung Soo. Being with Heung Soo was natural, he’d always wanted to be by Heung Soo’s side, so why was he freaking out over being with him in a different way? It was silly. Looking at him now, being so close, having the lingering taste of Heung Soo in his mouth and his touch on his lips, Nam Soon forgot why being with Heung Soo would be a bad idea, why he was ever afraid of it, so he leant forward and kissed him again.

He poured as much as he could in to the kiss; his want, his confusion, his wishes, his confession, but most of all he hoped Heung Soo understood it for the promise that it was. It was the sealing of a deal, a vow that the future would hold them together, a pledge that Nam Soon will be with Heung Soo until the sun stops rising.

When they separate Nam Soon ran a hand up Heung Soo arm, across his chest and stopped over his heart. He really hopes Heung Soo understood because for now he doesn’t know how to express everything he feels verbally. He needed that kiss, that promise, to sink in to Heung Soo’s heart. Heung Soo kissed him again briefly and Nam Soon beamed a smile, sure he’d understood. He laid his head back on Heung Soo’s shoulder, cuddling closer when Heung Soo’s arms encased him.

“Heung Soo-ya,” Nam Soon said softly, comforted by the body heat radiating from Heung Soo but serious in what he had to say. “I need to make sure it’s me you want. This me here now. I… I won’t go back to how we were in Gyeongi-do. You need to want me and not the old Nam Soon, not Tsunami.”

“Of course,” Heung Soo replied and his voice was light and easy, he sounded happy, but Nam Soon wasn’t sure Heung Soo was completely sincere. He knew Heung Soo wouldn’t lie to him, but what if Heung Soo himself didn’t realise it? Would he really give up the Nam Soon he knew and searched for that easily after years of longing?

Nam Soon was uneasy about it, but he said no more on it. He didn’t want to ruin this moment, so instead he kissed Heung Soo again with everything he had and just breathed his scent in. This was all he needed right now. They could deal with anything else when it came, for now he just wanted to make the most of the moment because this first confession wasn’t something they could ever have again. It was special, it meant something, it created something new and Nam Soon would hold on to it for as long as he could.