The issue was put behind them. Nam Soon pretended that nothing had happened and Heung Soo played along. Nam Soon didn’t know if this was for Heung Soo’s own benefit or Nam Soon’s, but he was thankful he did.

They continued meeting up, going out to eat ramen, reading comics and Heung Soo spent at least three nights a week at Nam Soon’s. Things were normal and Nam Soon couldn’t be more relieved. But… he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were on rocky ground. Sometimes he’d think he saw Heung Soo looking at him out the corner of his eye, but when he turned around Heung Soo’s attention would be elsewhere. He did his best to ignore it, tell himself he was wrong, that he was just unnerved by that incident. Still, he felt wrong footed around Heung Soo and it wasn’t sitting well with him.

Sometimes, he just needed a break from his friend (friend, all he was and will ever be. Nam Soon will make damn sure of that), and so he’d take walks with no destination. He was now; going wherever his feet take him as he passes houses and shops, weaving between busy shoppers, loud families and loitering friends.

The fresh air was relaxing and he could breathe easy out here where there were no walls blocking him in with his mixed emotions he couldn’t seem to get hold of. This was something he needed.

“Go Nam Soon-ah!”

Nam Soon turned at the familiar voice, momentarily thrown by the sudden disruption of his calm sate, and saw Kang Joo wave as she hurried up the street towards him.

“Kang Joo-ya, what are you doing here?” Nam Soon asked.

Kang Joo just gave him a friendly punch on the arm before grabbing it, and Nam Soon let her lead him along. “Come on, you can buy me something to eat.”

A few minutes later they seated themselves at a small family run café, Nam Soon with a sandwich and bottle of water, Kang Joo with three sandwiches and a bottle of water (her appetite was really no joke, and Nam Soon mourned the feeling of his now empty pockets). She’d seated herself across from him, chomping down on her food while Nam Soon picked at his; playing with it more than he was eating it.

“So,” Kang Joo said her fingers clean when she’d finished the first sandwich, before wasting no time unwrapping the second, “I haven’t seen you since school ended, how’ve you been?”

Nam Soon shrugged, he’d never cared for small talk.

Kang Joo rolled her eyes. “Well, I’ve been fine, thanks for asking.”

Nam Soon gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I’m fine. How are you?” Then he turned his attention back to picking apart his sandwich. Who even made the first sandwich? And why did they call it ‘sandwich’? Maybe that was their name… It would be a weird name…

“Yes, I can see I’ve got your rapt attention as you eagerly await to hear all about my life.”

Nam Soon snorted in amusement at her dry sarcasm. “I’m riveted, truly.”

“Well, I don’t want to drag you away from brooding over a sandwich. I’m sure you’re having a magnificent time.”

“I’m not brooding,” Nam Soon shot back defensively, “I was just wondering who invented sandwiches.” Okay, that sounded stupid. He should have just gone with the brooding.

Kang Joo looked him over critically, ate another bite, then poised herself. “They’ve been eaten for thousands of years, the first known time by a rabbi in 100 BC, but they got their name in 1726 from a British statesman called John Montagu, the fourth Earl of Sandwich. Apparently Sandwich is the name of some place in England.” It sounded like she was reading from a text book.

Nam Soon blinked. Wow, and he was just thinking he was weird. “How do you even know that? More importantly, why do you know that?”

Kang Joo huffed. “I’m a food enthusiast, I just know these things.”

“No ,” Nam Soon muttered, once again thinking about his empty pockets. Next time she was buying.

“So, did you hear that Jung Ho never turned up?” Kang Joo asked, and this got Nam Soon’s attention. “He didn’t graduate the year. He’s not coming back to school.”

He’d quit? After everything that had happened that year, after he’d finally begun to open up and see a possibility of improving himself, he chose his abusive father over himself. Nam Soon sighed, to be honest he’d expected it, but he was still disappointed. Maybe he should go see him, but what good would that do now? It was too late. Still, perhaps he could convince him to go back and re-do this past year next year and continue from there. Jung Ho was stubborn though, as stubborn as Nam Soon himself, and so he knew there was little chance of him listening. Sure, Nam Soon wasn’t overly fond of the guy, but they’d come to some sort of level ground with each other over the last few months.

“I’m not surprised,” Nam Soon replied. “What about Yi Kyung and Ji Hoon? They didn’t drop out with him did they?” He didn’t think they would, but they may have out of loyalty.

Kang Joo shrugged. “Not that I know of. I only know about Oh Jung Ho because Min Ki has been keeping in touch with teacher Jung and he told me last week.”

Nam Soon nodded and decided to let it go for now. He’d think about it when his mind wasn’t already occupied with other issues (namely that bastard Park Heung Soo).

He finished his snack with Kang Joo, or more accurately he waited for Kang Joo to finish as they caught up on things since they last met, and then they went their separate ways.

Nam Soon continued his walk, a lazy stroll around Ssangmun-dong, until his phone beeped a text from Heung Soo telling him to come over.

What about your noona? He text back. She wouldn’t be happy to see him, she’d directly told him to keep away from her brother. Not to mention the rather distressing word ‘dismemberment’ came floating to the forefront of him mind.

His phone beeped its reply a few moments later: She’s out with her boyfriend. Won’t be back until tonight.

Huh, Nam Soon didn’t even know she was dating. The poor guy must be the bravest man in Asia, here’s hoping he never pisses her off.

Nam Soon looked around, taking in where he was. Not too far from Heung Soo’s. He text back: Will be there in about 20 mins.

He set off, and by the time he arrived Heung Soo was stood outside the gate waiting for him. Nam Soon followed him inside, both taking their shoes off at the door. He looked around as he stepped inside, having never been here before. It was just a normal house; a little shabby looking, but it was clean and looked well lived in. Heung Soo offered him a drink and snack but Nam Soon shook his head. “No, I got something with Kang Joo earlier.”

Heung Soo looked at him and Nam Soon ignored the disapproval, the jealousy, the disappointment in his eyes. Nausea began to stir in the bottom of his stomach as nerves began to prickle his skin, but thankfully Heung Soo kept quiet and turned away, leading the way upstairs to his room. Nam Soon took a deep breath and let it out slowly, stomach settling again, before he followed the other boy.

Stepping into Heung Soo’s room, the first thing Nam Soon noticed was the dog. It was large and of no indiscernible breed. It lifted its head to watch Nam Soon as he walked in from where it was laying on Heung Soo’s bed; it rather looked like it was deciding if it could be bothered to leave its comfy position to bite him. This must be the dog he’d heard barking before when Heung Soo’s noona had told him to stay out of his life.

Heung Soo noticed where Nam Soon was looking and walked over to the dog, rubbing its head affectionately. “His name’s Pororo. He was a stray that followed me home.”

Nam Soon chuckled at the name, somehow not surprised that Heung Soo had named his dog after an animated children’s character.

Pororo had stopped eyeing up Nam Soon at Heung Soo’s attention and instead fell back onto the bed with a content groan.

Feeling a little easier now he was sure he wasn’t going to be bitten (Pororo seemed like the type to bite if you pissed him off) Nam Soon looked around Heung Soo’s room. There really wasn’t much to it. A double bed, a wardrobe that looked like it’d seen better days, a small desk with a rickety chair and a few football posters; South Korea’s national team, Suwon FC and a foreign team.

A framed picture on the desk caught Nam Soon’s attention and he picked it up. He was surprised to see himself in it. It was taken outside on a sunny day, Nam Soon and Heung Soo were young, twelve years old. Heung Soo’s mother and noona were in the picture too, all four of them beaming happily and Nam Soon felt a pang in his chest as he looked at the woman. Heung Soo’s mum had always been kind to him, had treated him like he was her own child. She was an average looking woman but she had always shone with a radiance that would take your breath away. You could feel the warmth in her gaze and a soft comfort would cradle you when she smiled. Nam Soon remembered the day this was taken; she’d taken them on a family day out during the warm summer months. She had little money, but it didn’t stop her packing up a picnic and Nam Soon remembered how happy he felt, how included he felt, when she invited him along like it was the most natural thing to do in the world. Just three months after this picture was taken she’d gotten the first symptoms of the sickness that would later rob her of her life.

Looking at her now, the pang in his heart turned to a stab of guilt. How did she feel after he ruined Heung Soo’s life? She’d been so kind to him, raised him more than his own father did after his mother’s death, and he’d repaid her by destroying her son’s dream.

He felt ashamed of himself now as he looked at her smile. He wasn’t there to help her when she died. He wasn’t there to comfort Heung Soo when she died. They’d both been there when his own mother died. At the funeral he’d gripped onto Heung Soo’s hand like a lifeline. When his father was too lost in his own grief to even notice Nam Soon, Heung Soo’s mum had gently wiped his tears with soft words and led him back to her home where she told him everything would be okay until he fell asleep curled up with Heung Soo.

Would she be disgusted with him for what he’d done? He deserved it.

The picture was gently taken from his hands and placed back on the desk. Tears were forming in Nam Soon’s eyes as he met Heung Soo’s.

“She wouldn’t hate you,” Heung Soo assured quietly, easily guessing Nam Soon’s thought process. “She loved you.”

He couldn’t stop the tears from falling, and he wasn’t sure if he moved or Heung Soo did but suddenly they were hugging; Heung Soo’s arms tight around him as he cried into the taller boys shoulder and Heung Soo began to shake with his own tears.

“She told me once that we were always meant to be at each other’s sides, Go Nam Soon,” Heung Soo mumbled into Nam Soon’s hair but he still heard it over their tears. “That even if we had a big argument and couldn’t stand to look at each other we couldn’t keep away, we’d always come back because we had a connection deeper than just friendship.”

Nam Soon cried harder, holding Heung Soo tight and he’d didn’t want to think about these past few years, didn’t want to think about whatever this thing trying to worm its way between them was. Right now all he wanted was Heung Soo like this, with Heung Soo’s comforting warmth that was so much like his mothers around him. In this moment, only the two of them existed.