The school year was over. That was a sentence Nam Soon never thought he’d be so breathlessly relived of. He had reached his last year; Heung Soo had reached his last year. Heung Soo had forgiven him and maybe now, he could begin to forgive himself. He felt so light; for the past three years he never realised the weight pulling at his heart, but now it was as though he was taking his first gasps of air after being held underwater until his lungs burned. It was… accomplishment. A deep sense of accomplishment that a punk kid like him really got this far.

Nam Soon walked with a huge silly grin on his face and a very literal spring in his step towards the café he frequented with Heung Soo, unbothered that his current mood, which could rival that of a Disney character at their happily-ever-after, was attracting him some strange looks from passers-by.

He pushed open the café door with both hands, causing it to hit the wall with a bang and strolled in like he owned the place, ignoring the owners dark look (after all, Nam Soon spent so much money here eating ramen he had every damn right to bang whatever door he pleased). He scanned the tables and spotted the back of a familiar head. Reining in his grin until he looked sane Nam Soon strolled over, hands in his pockets, and dropped into the seat opposite Heung Soo.

“You’re late, you bastard.” Heung Soo mumbled, pointedly not looking at him.

“Yep.” Nam Soon agreed, making no excuses.

Heung Soo snorted and reached over to hit him lightly over the head. “I already ordered.” He said, finally looking Nam Soon in the eyes.

Nam Soon nodded, taking this moment to look over the other boy. He looked good. Since the school year ended he seemed more relaxed, like he finally felt he fit in to his surroundings.

“How’s your noona?” He asked casually.

Heung Soo gave a short laugh. “Still doesn’t like you.” Nam Soon pulled a pitiful face but Heung Soo only seemed more amused by it. “I’m pretty sure she’s planning on dismembering you. At least that’s what it sounded like she was saying to someone on the phone. I’d watch out if I were you.”

Nam Soon kicked him under the table. “Yah, shut up you bastsrd.”

“You trying to ruin my other leg too, you punk?”

A spike of guilt shot through Nam Soon as Heung Soo turned his gaze to his assaulted leg and massaged it roughly.

“Quit it with the pity party, Name Soon-ah,” Heung Soo ordered. “It’s ing annoying.”

“How do you know what I’m feeling, you’re not even looking.” Nam Soon replied, half ashamed, half peeved.

Heung Soo raised his sight from his sore leg to Nam Soon. “I don’t have to see to know that. I already told you, you bastard, stop being sorry.”

Their ramen arrived before Nam Soon could answer (something he was silently grateful for) and they both picked up their chopsticks, eating their food before it became too soggy.

“What?” Nam Soon asked a minute or so later, noticing a mocking grin on the others face.

Heung Soo shook his head. “Aish, you always eat like you’re on a timer. How do you even fit that much down your throat in one go?”

Nam Soon looked down until his eyes almost crossed, trying to see the large amount of ramen hanging half out of his mouth. He swallowed it down and turned to Heung Soo. “It’s a talent many wish they could have.”

“It’s a talent many guys whish their girlfriends could have.” Heung Soo deadpanned, causing Nam Soon to choke slightly.

Hitting his chest, eyes watering, Nam Soon shot the smug basted a scathing look. “Yah, you want to die?!”

Heung Soo merely shot him a winning grin and went back to his own food, eating it in more manageable bites.

Nam Soon looked at his own bowl, wondering if he should follow the others example, but his pride kicked in and he made a point of adding even larger amounts of noodles to his chopsticks and all but shoved it into his mouth.

The next few minutes followed in much a similar way; eating paused for jokes and mutual mocking.

By the time they left the café, they were laughing freely, shoving each other playfully and trying to dodge and duck light punches.

The sky was beginning to darken, a light pink brushing softly against the blue as the sun set behind the tall city buildings. Years ago, this is when Nam Soon and Heung Soo would be meeting up with the rest of the iljin; moods darkening with a violent delight along with the sky as they picked out an unlucky passing kid to take their frustrations out on, and get some extra money while they were at it.

It’s a shared guilt now, one they understand together. Neither had ever really done anything to try to make up for it; Nam Soon to distracted by his shame and regret over Heung Soo, and Heung Soo over his longing and anger for Nam Soon. Honestly, neither had really given a lot of thought to those people whose lives they made miserable; people who were frightened to go to school and walk home alone because of them.

Nam Soon sighed, smile fading. It took until he hurt Heung Soo in ways he could never heal from for him to realise that that’s exactly what he’d been doing to all those people every day. That the heartache he felt for Heung Soo is what his victim’s friends and family would be feeling. It was a wake up call he’d need a heart of stone to ignore.

There wasn’t even anyone else to blame for it. He was the iljjang, he was the one who led them, the one to start and finish the violence.

“You’re making that face.”

Nam Soon blinked, turning his attention to Heung Soo again. “Huh?”

“That face you make,” Heung Soo said, grabbing the other boy roughly by the cheeks and forcing Nam Soon’s face to make unnatural expressions. “The everything-is-my-fault-and-I-deserve-to-be-punched-in-the-nuts-repeatedly face.”

“Yah!” Nam Soon shouted, fighting his way out of the others grip and rubbing his sore cheeks. “That hurt, you bastard!” He thumped Heung Soo on the shoulder for good measure. “And I don’t make that face. How is that even a face?”

Heung Soo shrugged. “You manage it somehow, Nam Soon-ah.”

“You piss off, I’ve seen enough of your ugly face for the day.” Nam Soon crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the other defiantly.

“You’d send me off on my own when it’s almost dark?” Heung Soo fake gasped, bringing a hand to his heart. “What kind of a man are you?”

Nam Soon snorted. “Okay, princess, I’ll walk you home and keep you safe from all the lurking erts.”

“How will I be safe from erts when one’s walking me home?”

“Yah!” Nam Soon shouted. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not a ert.”

Heung Soo raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. “Tell that to your ramen.”

Face flushing, Nam Soon grabbed Heung Soo into a headlock, pulling him down so the other boy's head was nearing his waist.

“See! See!” Heung Soo called out, voice strained from the angle, “you’re already trying to shove my face in your .”

A surprised laugh left Nam Soon, and he tightened his grip on Heung Soo’s neck just a little more as payback for that comment. “Well,” he said drily, feigning disinterest, “since you’re already down there you may as well give it a .”

Heung Soo made a strangled sound that sounded something similar to ‘I always knew you were gay’, but Nam Soon couldn’t be sure as his arm was doing a pretty damn good job of restricting his breath. Still, he couldn’t let that slide. “It’s not gay if you’re the one having your .”

Heung Soo made another sound, this time completely incomprehensible and Nam Soon eased up his grip. Unfortunately, the oxygen gave Heung Soo the strength (or maybe just supplied his deprived brain with thoughts again) to punch Nam Soon in the kidney, making him double over as the air left his lungs and lose his grip completely on Heung Soo, who pulled away with a laugh.

Heung Soo made a break for it, running off in the direction of his house, laughing. After a few moments of in some much needed air, Nam Soon chased after him, shouting threats between his own laughter.

Eventually, they had to slow down, walking along side by side, dumb grins on their faces.

Just as they came up to the gate to Heung Soo’s house his sister opened it, stepping out and smiling at Heung Soo, then morphing her face into a disgruntled frown when she saw Nam Soon.

Nam Soon gave an awkward wave, “Er, hi, noona.”

“Park Soo Min-ssi.” She snapped. “Don’t you call me noona.”

Nam Soon nodded sharply with a word of apology. Heung Soo leaned in close to him with a gleeful whisper of ‘dismemberment’ in his ear.

Paling considerably, Nam Soon decided now would be a fantastic time to beat a hasty retreat. He gave Heung Soo a friendly slap on the back, bowed to Soo Min and hurried off, just in case she wasn’t kidding about her murder plans.