“Oh my God…”

Blindly placing Ae Ra’s hand back to the bed, Jiyong slowly stood up and walked towards her. Her soul. She was still there, leaning against the wall with both hands behind her back, a sweet smile plastered on her face.  

His feet felt so heavy with each step, as if he could collapse to the ground any moment. Shakingly, he slowly came to her, his eyes already tearing up so badly. “No...this cannot happen…”

“What cannot happen?” She asked him with a mischievous smirk. “I am here, aren’t I?”

“H-how…” With shaking hand, he reached up to touch her cheek, and soon he choked loudly when his palm could not touch her, it went straight through her cheek, like there was just air existed at that space. “Oh G-god….A-ae Ra...”

“Why didn’t you believe me?” She touched his cheek instead, and weird it was, he could feel it, where her palm gently touched his skin. “You stupid dragon.” She scolded him softly.

“I’m… sorry.” Tears escaped his eyes, which she wiped it away quickly. “Gosh...I’m so sorry.” He made an attempt to cradle her face in his palm. “I should have believed you.” He cried like a mess. “I should have not forgotten you.”

“You remember now?” She asked surprisingly.

He nodded. “Even though it still lacks of some events, I can remember most of everything now. It started since last night.”

She just smiled sadly.

“Why did you go to the airport? You intended to leave me here?” He asked like a child got lost in a crowd. “Why?”

“There’s nothing to hold me back Jiyong.” She looked into those blurred eyes because of tears. She hated seeing him vulnerable like this. “You weren’t sure about us. I could not just hold onto the past and make your life more complicated. As you said, I should have given you time.”

“I was stupid. I still am.” He shook his head repeatedly. “Wake up please.” He tried to hug her, even though it was just like hugging the air. “Don’t leave me like this!” He said with shaking voice to the crook of her neck. “I am so stupid. But don’t punish me like this.”

“Hey calm down…” She patted his back slowly, like a mother trying to console her crying child. “Our time will come, eventually.” she whispered faintly to him, and to herself as well.

______

“Oh my god Ae Ra…” Mrs. Kwon said with a croaked voice once she entered the room ad came near to her bed. “Why is this even happening to you? This is so cruel…” She was about to touch her face, but she was afraid that might hurt Ae Ra more.

“Oma?” Mrs. Kwon looked up to find Jiyong who just woke up groggily from his nap. “How did you know?” He asked with a sigh, still trying to clear the heaviness on his eyes because of crying too much

“This stupid boy…” Mrs. Kwon came to his side and slapped his shoulders hardly. “See what you have done? Why you are so stubborn? Why didn’t you believe in your own mom?”

“Ouch oma!” He whined and tried to dodge out of her hands. “Please stop! You’re embarrassing me!” He cautiously looked at Ae Ra, who previously he was sleeping on her lap and now smiling subtly at mother and son.

“To whom?” His mom scoffed. “As if there was anyone in this room beside me and you.”

“And Ae Ra.” He said quietly.

“Of course there is, but…” Mrs. Kwon stopped abruptly upon seeing where Jiyong was looking at – the empty space right next to his left side. “W-what…” She covered with her palms. “Oh my god don’t tell me…”

“Ae Ra is here mom.” Jiyong turned back to her and smiled sadly, before turning back to where Ae Ra was.

“Y-you can… see her right now, don’t you?” Mrs. Kwon slowly sat down next to Jiyong’s other side, peeking over him to where Ae Ra was supposed to be. “Just like how she did with you before?”

“Yes oma…” His voice started to croak again. “This is so cruel…”

“Oh my God…” Mrs. Kwon cried for real now, like her son, tears started to flow in her eyes. “Dear, how are you? Are you hurt? Can you wake up?” She went to sit next to Ae Ra instead. “That’s a stupid question…” She mumbled by herself. “Why does this happen to you two?”

“Because I am stupid.” Jiyong said quietly and bowed his head down. “I shouldn’t have forgotten her like that. I hurt her too badly and this is my punishment.”

“Yes you are.” His mother scowled and sighed. “You two are really unlucky, especially Ae Ra.” She turned back to Ae Ra. “How do you feel dear?”

“She feels nothing.” Jiyong answered for his mom. “Just like me before, she feels nothing, as if nothing happened except the fact that she is seen by no one but me.”

“Wait, this mean you remember now?” His mom narrowed her eyes at him.

“I remember some mom.” He admitted sheepishly. “It isn’t so clear yet but yeah, I can remember most of everything now.”

“How nice your timing is.” His mom said with a glare.

“Ae Ra said you should stop blaming me. I’m suffering enough…” Jiyong said nonchalantly. “O-ouch… Okay Ae Ra didn’t say so, I did.” He cast an apologetic look at Ae Ra and grinned at his mom.

“What are you gonna do now?” His mom said with her shaking head. “What if this goes on for months like how you went through? Another 10 months?” She went panic. “How is she now? What did the doctor say?” She turned to ask Jiyong in frantic. “Why doesn’t she wake up?”

“Dr. Jung said….” Jiyong said but his mother cut in.

“Dr. Jung?” She frowned. “Isn’t that…”

“Yeah, our previous doctor.” Jiyong said glummy. “He cursed when he saw me outside the surgery room yesterday, saying he could not believe this was really happening again.”

“Okay. What did he say?”

“She was hurt badly.” Jiyong turned to look at Ae Ra’s form on the bed with a grim face. “It’s a miracle that she’s still alive.” Gulping his throat thickly, he felt Ae Ra’s hand in his, squeezing him slightly. “It may take a while for her to wake up, also depends on if she wants to wake up at all.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Dr. Jung said that it seems Ae Ra doesn’t wanna wake up.” Jiyong turned back to look at her, his face turned utterly sad once again. “I feel as if she wants to punish me.”

After a long silence, in which Jiyong just sulked and pouted and showing that puppy eyed face without replying any of Ae Ra’s protest that she did not not want to wake up just to punish him or such, Mrs. Kwon said quietly. “You deserve that anyway.”

“Oma!” He whined. “How could you say so?” Catching his head between his hands, he rested his arms on his knees and choked again. “I feel like dying here…” He ignored Ae Ra’s soothing rub on his back and her encouraging murmures to him, telling him it’s fine. “Nothing is fine Ae Ra.” He shooked his head. “Everything is ed up. I am ed up so badly now.”

For once his mom didn’t scold him when he cursed, she just embraced him in her opened arms and together with Ae Ra, she soothed him endearingly. “Big boys don’t cry ok? We’ll find a way, son. We’ll find a way, Ae Ra.”

___

“Yah where are you going?” Ae Ra said loudly when she noticed Jiyong headed straight to his bedroom after stepping into the apartment.

“Sleep?” Smiling lazily, the beaten up dragon who looked like a dead meat because of 3 consecutive days staying at the hospital trudged slow steps towards his bedroom. “Come with me Ae Ra, you told me to go back to sleep, didn’t you?”

“Yah dinner first!” Scolding him, she run to stand in front of the bedroom door. “You can’t sleep with an empty stomach. You barely ate anything for 3 days for heaven’s sake.”

After hardly convinced him to leave her at the hospital, adding Seungri’s beg and Nara’s reluctant request for him to go back and rest, since she was still mad at him, finally they left the hospital and went back to his apartment.

“This looks familiar. I remember how hard it was to make you have your dinner properly.” Jiyong chuckled and sighed deeply before obliging to Ae Ra’s command, dragging himself to the kitchen. “Alright. But I don’t know what to eat?” He looked at his fridge, which was full with milk, eggs, some pork, some beef, some vegetable, kimchi and many many stuff which could make a whole feast to be honest.

Rolling her eyes at him, she laughed. “Are you sure? Who instructed me to cook kimchi fried rice before?” She nudged him. “C’mon, don’t be lazy. I miss your kimchi fried rice, make some for me to look at least, can you? If I could, I would cook it for you already.” She said sadly.

“Alright alright, don’t be sad.” He gave up when he saw her sulky face. He didn’t wanna see her upset. “I’ll cook and eat for you, don’t worry ok?” He smiled at her.

And she smiled back at him.

____

Life was just like that for Jiyong and Ae Ra, day by day.

Jiyong was back to his normal life, only now Ae Ra was by his side every minute. He got panic whenever she disappeared to his sight, so he made sure she was always next to him. Then at late night, he would drop by the hospital to visit her physical presence, to hold her hand and prayed with God to bring her back to him.  And then, when it was really late, he would come back to his apartment or her apartment and slept, with Ae Ra in his arms, even though it wasn’t fully physical. Then she would be the first thing he saw in the morning when he woke up, to be reassured that she was still here with him, safe and sound, in a way.

Shin Nara was still mad at him, though.

“I still don’t get you and unnie, oppa.” She said quietly from his back with crossing arms, watching Jiyong pressing her sister’s hand on his lips and repeatedly kissed it while murmuring his pray.

“I thought it was just a one-night-stand for both of you, but now you’re acting like you two had an entire history together.” She said in confused and took the seat at the other side of her sister’s bed.

“We did.” Jiyong said simply, still not taking his eyes off Ae Ra. “Maybe one day we will tell you the details, but for now, I need strength to be strong for your sister, Nara.” He turned to look at her with serious eyes.

Now he understood why he was that affectionate to Nara before. It was because of Ae Ra. It was because he met her for a long time ago, before Seungri introduced her to them. He met her when she was just Ae Ra’s little sister.  He knew her before she was known as Seungri’s girlfriend, through Ae Ra’s stories.

“What do you mean oppa?” Nara was much more confused now. “Tell me what’s happening!” She protested.

“Not now.” Jiyong just smiled and reached up to pat her cheek slightly. “Don’t mind these two old oppa and unnie, little sis. All you should care about now is your little dot.”

Yes, the Lees were expecting their first child now. 2 months after the weeding, and Mrs. Lee was already pregnant for 10 weeks already.

Those two kids.

Ae Ra was really upset when she found out this, since she could not be there physically to show them – Seungri and Nara – how happy she was for them. Nara was not fully happy to, since she could not tell her sister that she was gonna become an auntie soon. Both Seungri and Jiyong had to try their best to cheer the sisters up, promised that a better time would come to them all soon.

Several times, people noticed Jiyong’s weird behaviors, of course.

One day, Youngbae noticed how Jiyong kept whispering to the space next to him discreetly , and even though he could not make out what his best friend was mumbling about, it looked as if Jiyong was sweet talking to a girl, because he had this stupid and goofy smile on his face.

He asked Jiyong about it, but his best friend just dismissed his concern nonchalantly, saying he just imagined things.

Then Youngbae decided that maybe Jiyong was just too tired from all the works and from taking care of Shin Ae Ra. Yeah, he knew about Ae Ra’s accident, and was very sorry for her. And even though he also noticed about Jiyong’s devotion to Ae Ra’s hospital bed, he didn’t question about it. He always knew Jiyong was having some kind of feelings for Shin Ae Ra.

Another day, Teddy noticed Jiyong talking to himself when he’s inside the recording booth to record a new song that he never heard Jiyong talked about before.

If You Were Not A Dream, that was the title of the song.

“No this isn’t cheesy.” He heard Jiyong whispering quietly. “These words are romantic, just like how I wanted them to be.”

“Aish you should come to my studio more often.” A moment later, the self-talking was continued. “You should understand why G-Dragon is this famous for his composing skill.” He saw Jiyong smiled teasingly to his side, which was an empty space.

“Jiyong?” Teddy called out unsurely. “Uhm…who are you talking to?”

“Nothing hyung.” Jiyong quickly replied. “Let’s get on the chorus part.”   

 The song was finished recording within 2 hours, a record which Jiyong never made before, and that surprised Teddy to the max.

“I have my inspiration.” Jiyong just said simply like that when Teddy asked him how did he finish the unfinished song that quickly. “Once I get the inspiration, it won’t take long for me to finish what I left undone.”

If You Were Not A Dream was released not long after that as a new digital single of G-Dragon, with an MV about a man who got lost in his dreams about an unknown girl, only to find her eventually in real life after going through such life challenges. It had an open ending, since even though he found her, she didn’t know who he was. The song, along with the MV, instantly became a phenomenon not only in Korea, but Asia as well, and maybe, even the world, since it’s on iTune top 3 for 2 weeks, top 10 for 5 weeks and still counting, and nearly 100 million of views after 2 weeks, without any kind of promotion. He declined and rejected any and every invitation to appear on music shows, talk shows, variety shows, events, concerts. Well, he even rejected the chance to perform the song on Ellen Degeneres show.

“I apologize for all my rejections regarding to performing If You Were Not A Dream live, but please understand for me. I cannot leave her right now. She needs me.” G-Dragon left a tweet like that on his official Twitter account after the press raised their suspicion about him could not perform this song live was because he was not confident about his vocal ability.

For weeks, even months, people started to notice that G-Dragon secretly went in and out this hospital at night too frequently, daily to be exact. Everytime he went in, he looked normal with a poker face. But when he went out, he looked sad, upset, even depressed. There was rumor of him trying to struggle against some uncured disease, saying G-Dragon was slowly dying. But some people, mostly from his loyal fansites, got some top-secret inside information which was revealing that, he was taking care of a girly, mostly said to be his beloved one, who was suffering from a severe accident and went into coma for nearly 5 months already.

And now his tweet confirmed that very secret and shocking news to all his fans.

Jiyong couldn’t care less though. He even ignored Ae Ra’s desperate plea for him to accept those invitations, since she was afraid his fans would leave him eventually if he kept not appearing to public like this.

“How long are you gonna be like this?” She asked him frustratingly. “I have been lying here for nearly 5 months already! Just continue with your life, please!” She begged him with teary eyes.

“This is the least I can do for you Ae Ra, to make up for what you did for me before.” He also begged her to understand for him. “Just don’t lose hope, our time will come, remember?” He kissed her forehead while hugging her tightly. “I’m here with you, don’t worry.”

He still composed songs, produced music and mentored trainees. He helped Youngbae with his next solo album, helped YG with his new project to debut a girl group soon, helped Seungri who wanted to write a song for Nara and their expected child.  He still went to have dinner with his family at least twice per week, and still visited Ae Ra in the hospital everyday. He still never broke his promise to her, always had dinner no matter how busy and tired he was. He still held her in his arms to sleep at night, and kissed her forehead in the next morning. G-Dragon was still there, as long as they didn’t require him to leave Seoul, he still could be G-Dragon for them. Kwon Jiyong was still there, as long as there was Shin Ae Ra next to him, physically or just visually, as long as he still could hear her voice and feel her presence.

But G-Dragon wasn’t there anymore, Kwon Jiyong went into a panic, a deep shock and depression when one day, he woke up and Shin Ae Ra wasn’t in his arm anymore. He rushed to the hospital, hoping that she was awake. But she didn’t, or at least hadn’t. And to Jiyong’s horror, Dr. Jung informed him with worry that, her condition got worse. Her breath got weaker, still there, but weaker.

She was just…vanished. Disappeared. Just like that.

_____

A/N: Hi lovelies ♥ You guys are all so lovely ♥ thank you so so much for the sub & comments & upvotes! I appreciate them A LOT. I didn't know my story can be this recognizable and this supported *ugly sobbing*

Haha I guess you guys will hate me one more time with this chapter xD I actually intended to be more detailed about Jiyong's time with Ae Ra soul, but I was afraid it would drag the story unnecessarily, so I just sped it up, hope you guys don't feel rushed >.<

And it's getting to the end my lovely readers :) Maybe in 1 or 2 more chapters, I haven't decided yet, maybe I need your comments to let me know how should I continue from here :P I can't say much for now, happy ending or not, it's still not yet decided! LOL I like the angst you know...

Give me your thoughts, please! 

p/s: ah, about the inspiration of this story, I actually got it from these 2 books, "If You Were Not A Dream" and "And If Only This Were True", both by Marc Levy (the originals were written in French though). And they actually already made a movie about this series too, Just Like Heaven by Reese Witherspoon & Mark Ruffalo. I just made a "Kwon Jiyong version", but I changed some scenarios and, yes, added more angst to the plot HAHA

Much love from Rosie ♥