“You have that look on your face,” Hyosung says when I step into her car. Today, Baekhyun’s ride from the airport was from Minkyung and he even offered me a ride from her, but there was no way in hell that I would ever set myself in a situation like that so I lied and said I had lunch plans with Hyosung. I don’t even understand why Baekhyun even bothered to offer such a thing, but it seemed like second nature for him to just offer help without even thinking. “Why do you have that look on your face?” I buckle my seatbelt and hesitate to explain myself because I already know she’s figured it out. “Oh my god, you didn’t.”

My mind clouded over with guilt, but at the same time I feel no regret. It’s a strange feeling, but it’s definitely not undistinguishable.

“You don’t get it, Hyosung. He totally saved my life yesterday. Like actually saved my life. There was a gun pointed at my face and he saved me from it.”

Her eyes squint in frustration. “So what if there’s a gun in your- Wait, what? There was a gun pointed at your face?” She looks at me incredulously and I nod my head.

“I don’t know. I just got mugged I guess. Apparently it’s not advisable to have a Louis Vuitton handbag loosely draped on your arm over there,” I say, crease forming between my brows.

“Jongin bought you that bag,” she says and although her eyes are on the road, I can see the disappointment emitting from them. She blinks and the look is gone and she continues with her interrogating. “Okay, so whatever he saved your life no big deal. It’s what guys do. They have to be masculine in front of girls.” I can tell she realizes that her point isn’t getting across very well, but it annoys me that she’s still trying, so I continue.

“Okay, yeah, sure, there’s that. But you weren’t there,” I say, staring at the scenery blur by out the window. “He was different. He didn’t pull any stupid jokes and he wasn’t annoyingly flirtatious. He was a gentleman and he held doors open and was patient.” I sigh. “And the wasn’t rough and dirty. It was gentle and passionate and-” I shut my eyes tightly and rub my temples. I want to wake up and forget everything. I want to take back everything and go back to the beginning. I want to be anywhere but here.

 
I see Hyosung glance at me in the corner of my eyes and I can already tell she knows. She’s known me when I had a crush on the guy that sat in front of me in Algebra, the exchanged student from China, the centre forward on the soccer team (Jongin), the professor that was definitely still young enough to be attainable, and the bartender at our favorite club when we were 21. She knows when I like a guy. And right about now, she knew. She knew that what I had tried to push into the back of my mind and ignore was finally surfacing. The most forbidden feeling any girl could have was forged into my brain and engraved in deep canyons that could never be restored. She knew I was falling in love with him.

And I was falling hard.

“You idiot,” she says, her voice sharp. It was the tone she used when we would get into serious arguments. But I could tell she didn’t want to argue with me by the way her head was propped against her arm, which was resting on the window. There was nothing we could bicker about anyways. Nothing was said, but everything was already laid out on the table. “What are you going to do?” she asks, knowing the best that I don’t have an answer.

It is an impossible question for me to answer although there are only two options; the easy way and the hard way. I could completely drop Baekhyun from my life and continue on with Jongin without him even knowing that I ruined our relationship behind his back or I could break the engagement, convince Baekhyun to drop his own engagement, and we could live a love life of spontaneity and adventure.

I change my mind. The options are the hard way and the other hard way.
 

“Would your love life really be that adventurous when you’re not doing it behind backs?” Hyosung asks and I realize I had been thinking out loud.

“I don’t know,” I honestly say. I’d never really thought about it that way.

“Well, is Baekhyun worth not knowing?”

I don’t know.

***

I can see Jongin sitting out on the porch steps when we finally pull up to my house.

“How long do you think he’s been waiting there?” I ask as I watch him stand up when he notices Hyosung’s car on the curb.

“Probably long knowing him,” she replies. Jongin once waited on my doorstep for hours in the rain when we had gotten into a huge fight. I slammed the door on him and I didn’t realize he stayed outside my door until hours later. He was soaking wet and shivering like some lost, homeless puppy and there was no way I couldn’t have not forgiven him.

I sigh and smile at Jongin when he makes eye contact with me through the car window. “I bought a wedding dress,” I say, knowing I dropped a huge bomb on Hyosung in a moment where she least expected it.

“You what?!” she asks in a harsh whisper as if Jongin could actually hear us from outside of the car.

“Uh… Yeah,” I say. Jongin’s hand is already on the car door handle and she knows she can’t say anything else. She rolls her eyes in a playful manner, knowing I timed that statement on purpose. I can already tell she’s annoyed that I bought it without her, but she knows how much I like being spontaneous (excluding Baekhyun).

The door opens and I look up at Jongin and hope to find the answer I was looking for in his eyes, but all I see are the same chocolate brown eyes that have been lovingly looking into mine since sophomore year in high school. It didn’t help my situation at all when I melted the same way I always did when he leaned in for a kiss.

“Hey, pop the trunk,” Jongin says to Hyosung as he pulls back and walks over to the back of the car.

“You can’t leave him,” she whispers as she pulls the trunk lever. “You’d break his heart into a million pieces.”

It was something I already knew. But I can’t bring myself to erase Baekhyun from the picture just yet. 

I know this is a little on the short side, but I wanted to get something out before I get extremely busy, My mom's wedding is this weekend so I'll have no time to update then so here it is now haha. I'm still unsure about which direction I want to go and who's heart to break, but I'll figure it out eventually x]

Anyways, did anyone else die from the growl teaser? Because I did T_T