I stare at Baekhyun hoping, no, praying to the heavens that he’s joking; that somehow Minkyung knowing didn’t mean what I thought it did; that all she knew was something that wouldn't detrimentally affect everything.

I knew very well the dangers that came along with the things we were doing but I never thought that we’d actually get caught. I thought we were invincible. Well… that was how Baekhyun made me feel. A shudder runs down my spine when forbidden thoughts still run through my mind.

All I manage to reply to Baekhyun is, “What?” My throat’s dry and it comes out as more of a croak than an actual reply.  

Baekhyun props his head in his hands and he stares down at his desk as he speaks. He can’t even look me in the eyes. “She knew for a while,” he says almost inaudibly. “She was waiting; waiting for a trigger. She was just waiting to catch me in the act. She’s been bottling all of it inside and she completely exploded on me.”

“I- But- We-” I completely lose capability to form actual sentences. My mind is jumbled into thousands of little puzzle pieces much like the ones I liked to buy as a kid thinking I’d have the time to solve them. Except this time, I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t just shove it in the back of my closet because it was too hard or ask my parents to help me with it. This one, I had to solve on my own. “How?” I manage to ask.

“There was lipstick on my collar.” He dryly laughs but I feel like doing the exact opposite. “She did laundry the day after Taeyeon’s wedding and she found it: A red lipstick stain on my collar. But she didn’t want to confront me about it because she thought she was just being paranoid. But the thought ate away at her and she was obsessed with finding out the truth. She went through my drawers, my laundry, my wallet, and even my credit card statements. She's known the whole god damn time.” I think anything that could have possibly given us away in any of those things, but Baekhyun and I never exchanged anything before so there was no way she would have found anything.

“Recently she always prefers taking my car out for errands and I never understood why, but this whole time it was because she checks my mileage in the car and she goes through every pocket and compartment in there too.” He lets out a heavy sigh.

“So there was something in your car?” I think back to my first conversation with Chanyeol. He did say that he knew about me because of my perfume…

“No. I’m a clean freak. My car is always spotless and empty of anything that’d give it away. Plus, I drive home with the windows down so there’s no way that she would smell your perfume lingering in the car.” I’d never noticed, but he was right. His car was always clean whenever I was in it and looking at his office now, everything seems to be in place without even a trace of dust anywhere.

“She unpacked my luggage when I got home that night. I thought it was just a kind offer, but when I got out of the shower she was just sitting on the floor in front of the open luggage. She threw my clothes everywhere and only one thing was left inside.” He stops his story short and rubs his temples. I can feel my palms become clammy and my heart race pick up. I’m not even the one going through this, but I feel like all of this is my fault.

He finally looks up and meets my gaze. His eyes are bloodshot and the muscles in his face are all stiff. “Your bra,” he says, and I suddenly lose all feeling in my body. When I had unpacked my own luggage, I noticed it was missing, but I just assumed that I left it in the hotel. I was so upset because it was my favorite bra. I was upset about a stupid bra that practically ruined Baekhyun’s engagement. I felt like an idiot. “Your lacy, black bra had somehow made its way into my luggage.” Baekhyun pauses to take a deep breath. “And she found it. She was so angry that she couldn’t even yell at me. She could only whisper things like how much she thought I loved her and why I would ever betray her and she wouldn’t let me touch her or even say a word to her. She just sat there staring at the stupid bra all night; literally all night. I stayed with her and I watched her stay in the same position for hours before I eventually fell asleep. And when I woke up the next morning, there she was, in the same place, just staring at it.

“I thought that was bad, but then she finally opened and I don’t know what I was expecting her to say, but she, she asked me to tell her everything. Every. Little. Detail. She wanted to know when it started, how it started, what you were wearing, who did what first. It was excruciating, but that’s all she wanted to hear from me. She didn’t even want an apology. She just wanted to know every instance that we’ve ever slept together and how old you are and what you look like.” My blood ran cold through my body. As if things were already bad enough, why would she want to torture herself with every small detail as if it would actually make a difference?

All I could think about was Jongin. If Jongin ever found out about any of this I don’t even know how he would react. The fights we had were all over trivial things like whose turn it was to wash the dishes or why Jongin always left the toilet seat up. I never want to witness how he’d take that news.

But how could I live with myself knowing that I was unfaithful to my own boyfriend of years and soon to be husband for two months? It wasn’t even like I cheated on Jongin once. I’ve been constantly cheating and Jongin didn’t have a single clue. He’s not like Minkyung at all. He’s simple minded and he never gets paranoid of things like this. He’d never see this coming. And I don’t know if that’s better or worse than Baekhyun’s situation.

I snapped out of my thoughts and tuned back into Baekhyun even if listening to him made me feel worse with every word he spoke. “She made me torture her with every little thing regarding our affair. She forced me to. She said if I didn’t do it she’d break the engagement and tell everyone why. She said if I wanted to fix things, that was the only way it was going to happen. So it’s all we did. We didn’t even sleep. I would say one thing and she’d break into a fit of sobs and lock herself in the bathroom and eventually come out and ask for more. I know she was just trying to show me how much I hurt her, but I already knew. She didn’t have to make me do that.”

I felt terrible. Not only was Minkyung hurting, but she was hurting Baekhyun back. I know affairs can’t be blamed fully on one person, but I could have stopped it from getting it this far. I could have stopped all the hurt that was bound to happen.

“W-what are you guys going to?” I hesitantly ask.

He stares at the picture of her on his desk then places it face down with a loud thud. “I don’t know. She packed a bag and went to her sister’s place this morning. She threw her phone down the sink and grinded her phone with the garbage disposal before she left so there’s no way I can call her. I don’t even know if she’ll come back.”

“At least she didn’t throw the ring down the disposal?” I say trying to ease the tense air.

“Yeah, surprisingly she’s still wearing the ring so maybe she’ll come back. But,” he releases a deep breath. “I don’t know if I want her to…”
 

My eyebrows crease and I’m confused by his words. Sure, she was acting outrageous with him, but she’s his fiancée and if he really loved her, he would go through it all for her.  “Baek, don’t say that. Everything will be fine.”

“It won’t.”

“How would you know that?”

“Because I think I’m in love with you.”