“Baekhyun, you should really patch up your relationship,” I say with a sigh once the elevator doors close us into confinement. He only replies with a hurt gaze that I try to avoid by pressing the third floor button. “I mean, you proposed to the girl, Baek. Obviously something’s there. You just got… distracted,” I try to say without being too harsh.

“Are you trying to tell me that you don’t feel the same way?” His voice doesn’t sound as sad as his eyes look, and I already know I’ve failed at trying not to upset him.

“I’m not saying I don’t feel anything. I’m just saying you shouldn’t give up on Minkyung until you absolutely know that your decision is the right one.”

The elevator doors open and I walk out first, knowing that he’s watching my back as I leave. I know I’m pushing this whole decision thing onto Baekhyun first before I make my own, but I need time. My own fate is in my hands and I can feel my time wearing thin.

I throw myself into my desk chair feeling like I’ve been hit by a train. The stack of files on my desk doesn’t help with the pain.

“Hey, uh, you want me to help with some of those?” Hyosung offers and I appreciate her empathy, but it only made me feel like some hopeless romantic and that was the last thing I wanted to feel like. So I changed the subject.

“I told Baekhyun to fix his relationship,” I mutter as I log in to my computer.

Hyosung raises an eyebrow. “So you chose Jongin?”

“No, I- Wait,” I pause, coming into the realization of something I didn’t intend. “Is that what it seems like? Like I chose Jongin?”

“You didn’t?”

“No, I, I just needed more time and I just assumed telling him that would give me more time… But what if he actually does fix his relationship and I actually decide that I love him back and want to be with-”

“Hold on,” Hyosung interrupts. “Did you just say ‘love him back’?”

I retrace my sentence seeing nothing wrong with it, but I realize I hadn’t even talked to her about Baekhyun’s sudden confession.

“Oh my god,” I harshly whisper. “I forgot to tell you. Baekhyun called me in his office,” I look to my side and notice Luhan and Jongdae fully immersed in our conversation and I don’t even have it in me to shoo them away, so I continue, “to tell me that he loves me.”

Luhan gasps and at first I thought he was mocking me but when I look at his face, he seems genuinely shocked and I start to wonder if it is such a crazy thing that Baekhyun has somehow fallen in love with me; as if he believed this whole charade Baekhyun and I were pulling was just something based purely on hormones with no feelings involved.

I used to believe that statement at one point.

***

A month passes and I have little to no interaction with Baekhyun at all. Just a nod and maybe a smile if we pass each other in the halls and if we happened to be in an elevator together, there were others as well to ease the tension.

I wonder if he actually fixed his engagement and Baekhyun just wasn’t telling me. But it wasn’t like he was obligated to tell me. Maybe it was best that Baekhyun didn’t tell me. It’s a clean break from each other. We don’t ever have to deal with each other again and we can move on with our lives.

So I chose Jongin.

Jongin’s the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

Our relationship is completely back to normal, in my eyes at least. Jongin shouldn’t be noticing anything too different except for the fact that I’ve become fully committed into planning our wedding in November.

I meet with the wedding planner twice a week and we’ve already established a location and our color scheme for the wedding. It’s going to be held in the forest with lights strung across trees and lanterns hanging on branches. Our color scheme is a classic black and white as anything else would clash with the orange leaves of the trees. Jongin and I are a simple couple. We didn’t want flashy colors for our wedding.

I’d already went bridesmaid dress shopping with Hyosung, my sister, Jinah, and our good friends, Yoona and Yuri. Their dresses were classic, black strapless dresses that hit just above their knees. Our wedding is in November and it’s probably going to be cold for them, but I wanted them to have dresses that they could actually wear again as opposed to some long gown that would probably grow dust in the back of their closets.

Jongin’s groomsmen were also already picked out, consisting of his best friends, Kyungsoo (of course), Taemin, Sehun, and Joonmyun. I trusted Jongin to make sure that they all were fitted for tuxedos so that the order would come in time for the wedding. It was literally the only thing I held Jongin responsible for in terms of the wedding.

Everything was going perfect.

 
Or so I had thought.

I don’t exactly know whether or not to invite Baekhyun to the wedding. All of my invitations allowed for a ‘plus one’ and that only meant that Baekhyun would be bringing Minkyung along with him.

“Everything’s all said and done. I don’t why you’re worrying about this. Just invite him. He can keep Chanyeol company,” Hyosung says while helping me place mailing labels onto invitations.

 “Chanyeol’s invited?” I ask, not remembering putting him on the list.

“Well, this label does say Chanyeol Park and I’m pretty sure there aren’t many of those here in Los Angeles,” she says, glancing at the sheet of labels Chanyeol’s name is on. “Oh hey, these are all Jongin’s friends.”

I snatch the sheet from her hand and scan through the names. Chanyeol’s name was right below Kyungsoo’s. “Okay, so it’s okay to invite Baekhyun. Solely for the reason that he can keep Chanyeol company…” I already figured Chanyeol was probably close with Kyungsoo and other guys on the list, but I push it into the back of my mind and search for Baekhyun’s address in our work archives. When I find it, I copy and paste it onto a label, but it dawns on me that maybe I should just hand deliver the invitation to him. There’s more of a chance that Minkyung won’t go if she doesn’t even see the invitation.

***

 I knock on Baekhyun’s open door before I step in, feeling the boundaries that have been put up between us since we’ve last spoken. He looks up and looks surprised to see me in his office. The first thing I notice is that the framed picture of him and Minkyung is no longer on his desk, but instead it is on the shelf behind him. I try not to think anything of it, but moving a picture out of your direct view seems a little monumental to me.  

“Oh, uh, hi come in,” he says gesturing with his hand. I want to sit down, but it would only prolong something that I probably shouldn’t even be doing in the first place. I hadn’t seen Baekhyun’s face this close in a long time. I almost forgot how handsome he was; especially in a suit- Okay I’m off topic, but it’s been a while.

“I just wanted to invite you to my, uh, wedding,” I extend the invitation out to him and he hesitantly grabs the envelope from my hand while eyeing me cautiously. I kinda feel bad for using this as an excuse to get another glance of him again, but I didn’t think that such an awkward aura would be in the air. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” I say, trying to clear the air. “But, um, Chanyeol’s going and I just thought it would be courteous to invite you as well.”

There’s a little bit of a dead silence as Baekhyun stares at his name that’s carefully written in cursive on the invitation. His was the only invitation that I had hand written. Not like he was special or anything…

“Um, thanks. I’ll, uh, think about it,” he says placing the envelope by his keyboard.  

Another silence follows and we’re stuck glancing into the eyes of each other and it’s obvious there’s been too much left unsaid. I have this burning sensation inside of me that’s urging me to tell him that I miss him and that I regret not telling him that I loved him back, but I don’t feel as invincible as I used to feel when I was with him.

But then he stands up.

And closes the door.

And locks it.

Yeaaaahhh dramatic space. My favorite lol

Ok so I totally forgot to tell you guys about my new fic?  HAHA I told my Don't Fall in Love with Me subscribers and I guess I just thought that was you guys as well, but um anyways here it is: Code Blue. It's a medical fic featuring exo and Baek/OC bc I have serious issues. Will I ever get over baek lmao. But it's light hearted and "funny" and OTP filled, totally opposite of all the angst you know I like to write so maybe you'll like it? Ok thanks ily until next time bbs <3 

(OH AND NO I WILL NOT PUT BAEKAI TOGETHER I FEEL LIKE SOME OF YOU ARE SERIOUS HAHAHA WHAT KIND OF AUTHOR WOULD I BE IF I TOOK THE EASY WAY AND SPARED YOUR LITTLE HEARTS)