I look through a wedding dress catalog towards the end of the plane ride. I can feel Baekhyun staring at the catalog over my shoulder.

“Looking for dresses, huh?” he asks, although the answer is kind of obvious. It’s not like I was looking at the white fluffy tool for fun.

I ignore his idiocy but answer his question anyway. “I have an appointment to try on dresses at a fancy boutique later tonight.” I remember Jongin’s recommendation of bringing him with me and I mentally sigh. “Um, would you mind coming along with me? I’d like another opinion; an honest opinion from someone that’s not using me to get commission preferably,” I say hoping that it relieves any awkwardness. It’s not very common for a man to accompany a bride while she’s trying on dresses; let alone a man that the bride had an affair with.

“Sure,” he answers relatively quickly. I didn’t expect him to say yes so easily. “How depressing would it be if you had to go wedding dress shopping by yourself?”

Maybe this whole “being alone in New York with Baekhyun” thing wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
 

***
 

We land at JFK Airport at six and there’s a rental car waiting outside the airport with our name on it. It’s a fancy all black Mercedes that is sure to sparkle under the New York lights. I can practically feel Baekhyun’s excitement radiating off of him. It’s not often that you get to drive a brand new car that you didn’t have to pay for. Being a manager did have its perks.

We throw our luggage into the trunk and stop by a little joint in Brooklyn for a quick bite. My Kleinfeld appointment was at seven after all.  

After we eat, we drive across the Brooklyn Bridge and I can see the Statue of Liberty standing tall. I get jitters in my stomach. I love traveling to places I’ve never been. There’s so much to see in the world and it’s not every day that you get to go on a full paid expense trip to New York City.

We drive into the heart of the city and I’ve got to say, L.A.’s buildings are incomparable to New York’s. There are sky scrapers on every street and you practically snap your neck trying to get a glimpse of the top of them.

I was surprised Baekhyun was even able to maneuver through the city. There was bad traffic in Los Angeles, but nothing like the street traffic of New York. Not to mention the rude drivers that were constantly cutting you off.
 

We made it to Kleinfeld in one piece. When we walked into the store, I was astonished. The large store was huge and there were racks and racks of white dresses in plastic neatly lined up everywhere and fancy mirrors that extended all the way up to the ceiling. Although it was a Thursday night, there were still lots of sales associates scrambling through the aisles with dozens of dresses piled in their arms and anticipating ladies waiting outside dressing rooms. It was chaotic, but somehow mesmerizing.

I give my name to the lady behind the reception desk and she opens a binder and looks through the list for my name. When she finds it she crosses it out and she pages who I assume an associate is to come and assist me.

A man comes up to the desk looking perky as ever and I can’t help but squeal a little inside as I recognize him from their TV show. Maybe this wedding planner wasn't so bad after all...

“Hi, I’m Randy. I will be assisting you in finding your perfect dress this evening,” he says extending a hand. He looks over at Baekhyun and asks, “Is this the husband?”

“No,” Baekhyun and I say simultaneously. “He-He’s just a friend.”

Randy raises his eyebrows at the strange situation, but has us follow him to the corner of the store. We sit down by a three panel mirror and he asks questions about what I want my dress to look like: White or off white, tool or organza, poofy or fitted, train or no train. They were all things I didn’t really think about. I’m always indecisive and I really have no clue what would look good on me when it came to wedding dresses, so I have him bring over different styles and we would figure it out as we go.

I’m sitting with Baekhyun as we wait for Randy to gather the dresses.

“Don’t you think that you should be getting an off white colored dress? Considering your past doings, I don’t recommend such a pure color for your wedding day.”

I side eye Baekhyun and ignore his comment. This was a magical thing and I was not going to let his snarky little comments get in the way of it.

When Randy came back, he had a good amount of dresses stacked in his arms and he nodded his head at me to follow him into a dressing room.

“You know this might be the first time a bride to be has brought in a man and only a man to accompany her,” he tells me whilst sliding a dress up my torso. “A gay man, yes. But definitely not a straight one.”

“Oh, this isn’t really an official thing. It’s more of a trial to see what I like. We’re just here on a busine-” the breath is out of me when he tightens the corset around my torso.
 

“Can you breathe?” he asks.

“No,” I manage to say.

“Good.”

We walk out of the dressing room and Baekhyun is sitting in the chair staring at his phone. When he looks up, he tries hard to choke back his laughter, making me feel unsure about the fluffy dress that I had put on.

I stand in front of the mirror and the skirt of the dress is probably three times the size of me. I quickly shake my head and headed straight into the dressing room, hearing Baekhyun’s chuckles behind me.

The next one I put on is definitely more form fitting than the last. So form fitting that I have to decrease the size of my steps. Baekhyun’s eyes widen when I walk out, and not in a good way.

The back of the dress shows my entire back and is daringly low; almost to the point that I felt like my could make a surprise appearance without notice. The front of the dress also shows off a lot more cleavage than necessary and it is sheer below the bust line showing off even more skin. It also has tons of rhinestones and crystals throughout the dress and it all just added up to be… not me to say the least.

“If you want to skip straight to the honeymoon, this is your dress,” Baekhyun says with a dumb smirk on his face. I quickly hobble back to the dressing room hoping that the next dresses are better.

The next few were alright looking, but they were either nothing too special, or too extravagant. I just wanted a simple dress that made me feel like a princess. (Without the huge ball gown).

The next dress I tried on was just that.
 

And I knew it was the one when I see Baekhyun’s jaw drop when I walk out of the dressing room. When I stepped in front of the mirror, the dress I see is absolutely perfect. It has a sweetheart neckline and a natural waistline that perfectly accentuated whatever curves I had. There is also a subtle chapel train behind it and the whole thing is draped in delicate lace. It was beautiful.

I turn around to ask Baekhyun for his opinion and his jaw is still ajar. “What do you think, Baek?”

He finally snaps out of his trance. “Uh, y-yeah, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. I mean, no, the dress on you is beautiful. Not saying that you’re not beautiful, it’s just uh, yeah it’s nice.”

I’m almost too disturbed by the dress to notice Baekhyun fumbling over his words over my mere appearance, but it’s wrong to bring such a thing to light, especially after dismissing our affair, so I just take note of it in my mind.
 

“This is the dress,” I say.

“Do you say yes to the dress?” Randy excitedly asks and I only nod my head. I know Jongin told me this was just a trial thing, but it was perfect. I didn’t even need my mom or Hyosung or anyone to help me decide. Baekhyun’s reaction alone was enough reason for me to want it.

Not because I care much about Baekhyun’s opinion… It’s just how I want Jongin to react when he first sees me at the end of the aisle.

I place an order on the dress and for the first time I actually feel truly excited about planning my own wedding.

I walk out of the boutique with a wide smile and Baekhyun offers to show me around Times Square. It’s already nine o’clock by the time we leave so the sun has fully set and the New York lights are in full force. He finds a place to park and we casually stroll through the bright city. It’s awfully crowded so I have to stay close to Baekhyun, but I resist the urge to hold on to him because I don’t want to send him any signals. I wanted to remain strict with myself during this trip.

I guess I was too distracted by the large screens of Times Square to notice a sketchy looking guy trying to steal my purse. As soon as I feel the tug on my purse, I tightly grip onto it with both hands and try to tug it back into my possession. There is already a crowd surrounding us as the scene begins to escalate.

Baekhyun steps in and tries to release the grip of the man’s hands, but the thief goes into his pocket and pulls out a gun and points it at Baekhyun. Screams of terror emit from the crowd as they all cower away and run into the closest buildings. As if it were possible, my heart races even more than it did before and I immediately become worried for Baekhyun. I let go of the purse, hoping that he'd just put the gun down and leave us alone, but it does no good because Baekhyun is still holding on to it.

“Let go, Baek,” I nervously whisper into his ear.

“Yeah, listen to the . Just let go, man. You don’t want the to die, do you?” he moves his aim towards my head as he the gun. The sound echoes into my ears and sheer terror falls over me as my blood runs cold. I couldn’t die. I am still so young. There is still so much I haven’t done. I am not even married yet for god’s sake.

I stare straight into the barrel of the gun fearing for my life, just hoping that Baekhyun letting go of the bag is enough to let this man put the gun down. In my peripherals I search for a police man, a security guard, anything really, but all that is found is barren space and terrified faces behind store windows. I see a few on the phones and I could only pray that help would get here fast enough. 

I see the man’s finger twitch on the trigger and I quickly shut my eyes in fear, not wanting to see a bullet come racing towards me. My eyes quickly open when I hear the gun somehow being slapped out of the thug’s hand and into Baekhyun’s. My eyes widen as I watch Baekhyun bark orders at him to get down on the ground while pointing the gun at him. Police finally arrive at the scene and take the man into custody and thank Baekhyun for his actions. The crowd comes out of hiding and loud applause emits from them and all Baekhyun can do is sheepishly smile and say that this was nothing. He picks up my purse from the ground and hands it to me.

“Are you okay?” he asks, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowd. I’m only able to nod back at him as I am still getting over the situation that just happened. I never knew Baekhyun was capable of being such a hero. “No one can call you a and a and get away with it.”
 

***
 

When we’re standing in front of our hotel rooms he asks me for the tenth time if I’m okay and I respond with the same “Yeah, I’m fine,” like I did the last nine times.

When I walk into the room, it’s dark and I quickly switch on every light switch in the hotel room, getting rid of every inch of darkness. It was a habit I have had since I was a kid whenever I had to walk through dark hallways at night time. My old fear of the darkness was escalated by the earlier events.

I turn on the TV to help drown out the silence of the room, but just my luck, a shooting scene of a movie is on and I immediately turn off the TV in response. I crawl into my bed and try and relax as I grab my phone to play some music that’ll help relax me, but a loud thump from the room behind me causes me to flinch. I suddenly become more scared than I was before and I stare at the connecting door that separates mine and Baekhyun’s room.
 

There’s another thump in the room behind me and I figure there’s just a couple having next door, but the sound still scares me and I leap off the bed and open one of the doors to Baekhyun’s room. I knock on his side of the door and he opens it right away.

“I-I’m sorry, I just don’t want to be alone,” I say in a hushed tone. Concern flashes over Baekhyun’s face as he gently pulls me into his room. I sit on his bed as he walks into my room and grabs the suitcase from my room and rolls it into his.

“You can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No!” I regret my quick response, but it wasn’t like I wanted to sleep with him. I just wanted to sleep next to him. “Sorry, I’m just a little shaken up from earlier…” I say awkwardly rubbing my arm.
 

“No, it’s fine. Just change into your pajamas and you can come to bed.” I want to hate him for being such a gentleman, but he’s almost too good to be true. I’ve never really gotten to be around Baekhyun long enough to get to know his real personality. I would have never guessed that such a sweet guy was hiding under his snarky façade.

When I come out of the bathroom he’s already in his pajamas laying in bed and scrolling through the hotel TV channels. I climb into the bed next to him and attempt to lie in a comfortable position, but nothing seemed to work.

Baekhyun notices my distress and speaks up. “Hey.” I look over at him. “This isn’t me trying to come up on you or anything. It’s just me being a good friend, okay?” he says as he brings an arm behind my head and lays my head down on his chest. He gently my back and I finally feel comfortable. And safe.

And for the first time, I don’t feel guilty about it.