Day 6

“Please leave a message after the tone.”

“Hello? Helloooo? Babe, you there?” I hear from the bathroom as I’m wiping down the mirror. I put my Sunday cleaning on hold and run to the living room to pick up the phone before Jongin hangs up. “I need to ask you something.”

I hesitate for a moment before picking up, wondering what he could possibly need at 9 am on a Sunday. “Yes?” I say into the phone. I interrupt Jongin mid hello and he laughs.

“You only answer my calls if I talk to you through the answering machine.”

“You know that’s how I avoid telemarketers. Why didn’t you call my cell?”

“I did. And I texted you but I guess you’re busy?”

“Yeah, I’m busy cleaning the house you left me alone in,” I joke.

Jongin chuckles then the line goes silent for a few seconds. “So, uh…” I take a seat on the sofa and feel a rush of nerves surge through me suddenly. Jongin never really beats around the bush, but when he does, it's because he needs to confront me about something. He sighs. “I just need you to clear something up for me. It’s been on my mind for a while…” I can practically feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up stick straight. He must know. Someone told him.

“Yeah, what is it?” I say, trying to keep my voice as composed as possible.

“So you know my friend Joonmyun? From the east coast? The one you never met?”

“Um, yeah, what about him?” I ask, settling a little in my seat, relieved that this wasn’t what I thought it was.

“He just moved to L.A. a month ago or so and he works as a supervisor at that place where you did our wedding registry.” Any relief I was feeling quickly slips away as a familiar face slips into my mind. “Well, he told me he met you, but he didn’t know you were you until he was balancing checks and stuff at the end of the night.”

“Uh, what about all of that?” I ask in a casual tone, trying to mask any uneasiness.

“He told me you were with a guy…” The foot I had been shaking profusely stops suddenly and I can practically hear my own heart beat. “I mean, it’s no big deal, I know you have a bunch of guy friends, but you told me you were going to do that with Hyosung and Joonmyun just told me he pretended to be your husband and I don’t even know where I’m going with this…”

“Jongin, that guy was just a friend. You have nothing to worry about. We’re getting married in five weeks for god’s sake,” I try to reassure.

He lets out a nervous chuckle and sighs. “Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking. I think it’s just pre-wedding jitters you know?”

“Don’t worry about it. People always suddenly have doubts before the wedding…” I say quietly.

“I’m not gonna drop the wedding just because I had some paranoid suspicions,” he jokes, taking no notice at all to my sudden lack of volume. “Ok, get back to cleaning the house. I’ll call you later tonight or something, okay? I love you.” I feel the blood drain from my face.

“Love you, too.”

Day 7

Baekhyun decided to take me out to lunch, much to Hyosung’s displeasure. I may have forgotten to fill her in on my own current events, but I leave it to Luhan to tell her while I’m away for lunch. That probably isn’t my best idea, but it was all I could think of at the moment. I’ll have a lot of damage clean up to do when I get back…

“You’ve been really quiet this whole time. Is something wrong?” Baekhyun asks after we finish our food. I just can’t quite seem to shake off the feeling from yesterday’s phone call from Jongin.

“Um yeah…” I reply although I want to avoid the topic altogether.

“What is it?” Baekhyun asks as concern spreads over his face. It only makes what I’m going to say next even harder.

“We can’t do this anymore, Baek…” I say staring down into my lap.

“W-what?”

“We just can’t,” I repeat with my eyes still on my lap. “We shouldn’t.”

“But it hasn’t even been a month yet. You said-”

“I know what I said,” I say finally meeting his eyes. They’re sad and as much as I want to look away, I keep my eye contact firm. “Jongin almost found out.”

Shock finds its way onto his face and he’s silent for a few seconds. “H-how?”

“That one smiley guy from the time I took you do my registry is apparently one of Jongin’s best friends. He’s even in the wedding.”

“And you didn’t recognize him?”

“I’ve never met him. He’s always lived on the east coast…”

“What are the chances of that…”

I sigh. “I don’t know. But clearly it happened for a reason. I never want to break Jongin’s heart that way. It’s too much. This is just too risky.”

“I’m worth the risk,” Baekhyun says, almost inaudibly, and it breaks my heart.

“I’m so sorry, Baekhyun…”

He closes his eyes for a while and I wonder if he’s trying to hide his own tears. When he opens them again, there’s no pool in his bottom eyelid, but his eyes are glistening a lot more than usual.

I watch his adam's apple he swallows hard. “Okay, fine. But only if you can tell me one thing.”

“Okay,” I quietly agree.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.”  
 

His request catches me off guard and I can almost hear my brain and my heart arguing with each other. I’ve never done many things against my own will and this will probably be the hardest. But I know I have to say it. He needs closure.

 Even if it’s a lie.

He watches me as I battle with myself for a good minute or so. It’s like he knows I can’t say it. He knows what I feel probably more than I do myself, even if I can’t ever fully admit to it.

I wish I was braver. I wish I could just take a leap of faith with Baekhyun. He’s already falling and I am still standing on the edge of the cliff. I every now and then by glancing over the edge, but I’m never quite able to just jump. Baekhyun’s brave. But I-
 

I am a coward.

“I don’t love you, Byun Baekhyun.” 

Omg finally I updated ^o^ Brace yourself for the next chapter.... ;)

But in other news, I made a youtube channel a few days ago and its basically just for reaction videos and others sorts and I just posted a video this morning of um a small little exo reaction? LOL I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I POSTED IT I LITERALLY COLLAPSE OVER BAEKHYUN. but if you want to watch it's here :) And if you could, please subscribe and comment :D Okay, that is all. Until next chapter qts!