Title: Cravin for your Love

AFF Username: SeungyunLee

Story by: Sadistic Angel

Poster by: Sadistic Angel

Genre: :romance, drama, , angst

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SEUNGYUN’S POV

            Hello there! I’m Seungyun, it’s another boring day at my house. Well, at least my parents aren’t home. If they were here things would be a lot more boring, I wouldn’t get to do what I want when I want. As expected, the doorbell rang.

            “Taemin!” I yelled after I opened the door and found Taemin standing there.

            “Seungyun!” he hugged me tightly.

            “I missed you Taemin, it’s been days since we’ve last seen each other” I let him inside our house.

            “Hey can I borrow your iPod?” he asked.

            “Sure, it’s upstairs. I’ll go get it.” I smiled as I walked towards the staircase.

            “I’ll go with you” he chuckled.

            We went upstairs to my room to get my iPod. We held hands the whole time which was kind of clingy yet sweet. I love my dear Taemin so much; I don’t think I could live without him.

            “I know it’s here somewhere” I said trying to find my iPod.

            “Where do you usually leave it?” Taemin asked.

            “Umm, I think up there” I pointed to one of the shelves up on my wall.

            “I’ll get it!” he exclaimed.

            “No it’s fine, I’ll get it” I insisted.

            “Okay, if you say so, be careful” he worried.

            I got up on a chair and started looking for my iPod on the shelf. I saw a horrifying creature with 8 legs. It was a spider! It crawled on my arm and up to my shoulder. I tried brushing it off but it seems that it crawled into my blouse already. I got off the chair I was standing on and kept brushing off where the spider was crawling. I panicked and screamed the whole time.

            “Get it off, get it off get it off!!!” I yelled.

            “Hey, Seungyun calm down, it’s gone. I saw it crawl out of your room” Taemin laughed.

            “Really? Whew” I said, relieved.

            “Umm, yeah” Taemin said and stared at my body. I realized that my blouse’s buttons were open.

            “S-Sorry” I was embarrassed and tried to button up my blouse.

            “No, it’s okay” Taemin stopped me.

            “Wh-What are you doing?” I stuttered.

            “Shh, everything’s going to be okay” he said as he leaned in closer.

            His soft wet lips touched mine. I had a very bad feeling about this. Taemin held my face and kept on kissing me. He pushed me down to my bed and went on top of me. He ed my blouse and moved his lips from my lips down to my neck then to my chest then down to my stomach. I think he was trying to seduce me, oh no. He attempted to my pants but I stopped him.

            “Why? Is there something wrong?” he asked.

            “W-Well, Taemin it’s just that…” I said as I pushed him off of me.

            “What?” he was frustrated.

            “I’m not ready for this, I’m sorry” I sighed.

            “I guess it’s ok” he frowned “We’ll do it some other time.”

            Taemin and I have been together for two years now but we’ve never had . Taemin had some attempts like awhile ago yet I always back out.  I just don’t think I’m ready to do it. I love Taemin very much and I’d do anything for him, just not this. I do hope he understands.

            The following week Taemin brought me to some resort with his friends. I wasn’t really close to his friends so he asked me to invite a few of my own. Luckily, my two best friends Yuki and Mina showed up.

            “Hey girls!” I exclaimed.

            “We’re going to have so much fun!” Yuki smiled.

            “I know right!” Mina laughed.

             The two girls went to their rooms while I went towards Taemin who was talking to his friends. The four other guys, Key, Minho, Jonghyun and Onew, greeted me pleasantly. Taemin put his arm around me and boasted that I’m his girl. I was silent around the guys, I guess I was too shy to talk to them and too afraid that I might embarrass myself in front of Taemin’s friends. I whispered in Taemin’s ear that I’ll be in our room unpacking stuff, and off I went walking along the sand.

            After a few minutes of unpacking clothes in our room, I heard Taemin laughing. It was obvious that he wasn’t alone. I took a peek through the door eye. Luckily, their voices were loud enough to hear inside the room. Taemin was talking to Minho who was staying next door with his own girlfriend.

            “So Taemin, why’s your girlfriend so quiet?” Minho chuckled.

            “Nah, she’s just quiet around people she’s not close to” Taemin explained.

            “Tell me, have you guys done it yet?”Minho grinned.

            “Well,” Taemin looked down “not yet actually”

            “Oh man, Taemin you’re so weak” Minho laughed at him “You mean to say that you couldn’t get her in the mood?”

            “It’s not that, I can, but she’s not ready yet” Taemin sighed “What about you and your girl?”

            “Yeah, lots of times” Minho replied “We’re planning on doing it tonight too.”

            “Lucky you” Taemin laughed.

            “So she tells you what to do and what not to?” Minho raised one eyebrow.

            “No, I just don’t want to force her into doing something she doesn’t like” Taemin frowned.

            “You should force her to do it tonight” Minho suggested.

            “What?! Why?! No way” Taemin refused.

            “Hey, I’m just saying that me and my girl might be up and noisy all night maybe you two should just have some fun of your own” Minho smirked.

            “Tss, whatever Minho” Taemin pushed Minho lightly and stepped towards the door. I ran as fast as I could towards the bed and pretend that I didn’t hear anything before he got to open the door.

            “Hey” I greeted Taemin trying to keep my voice calm.

            “Hey, so how’s the unpacking going?” he asked.

            “Almost done” I said in a cheerful voice “What were you and your friend laughing about?”

            “O-Oh, that’s nothing” he replied.

            That night the others were drinking booze outside near the beach. Taemin was with his friends of course. I on the other hand am sitting here on our bed, isolating myself from them. Well, I did take a few shots awhile ago but I realized I didn’t want to drink anymore.

            “Honey, are you in there?” Taemin knocked on the door.

            “Yup, I’m here” I yelled.

            He entered the room and sat beside me. He looked into my eyes which made me wonder what he was thinking. That wasn’t the only thing I noticed, his angelic face was just adorable, and he was just perfect. Why couldn’t I just give this guy what he longed for? How could I even resist him? After a few seconds I found the answer, it was because of my conservative personality and pride. It’s because I don’t want to be like other girls, girls who have pre-marital .

            “Is there something wrong?” he asked as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

            “N-Nothing’s wrong” I stammered and looked away from him.

            All of a sudden we both heard door slam next door. Then we heard Minho’s voice and the voice of a girl. They’re voices were loud and clear.

            “Come on sweetie let’s go to bed” Minho panted. It seems that they were kissing roughly.

            “You bet tiger” she giggled seductively.

            There was awkward silence between me and Taeming. We looked away from each other and sat farther from each other on the bed. We could hear Minho’s pleasure-filled groans and his girlfriends’ seductive moans. We heard the springs of their bed squeaking from the motion they were making on the bed. My eyes opened wider when we heard a loud thump on the wall.

            “You like that, huh?” Minho puffed.

            “Yes! Yes! Harder!” the girl whimpered.

            “I can’t take this anymore” Taemin sighed “I’m gonna head out and have a few more drinks maybe.”

            “Oh, alright. I’ll be here when you need me” I said softly as he went out of our room.

Taemin’s POV

            I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. Minho was mocking me with that lust-filled occasion he and his girlfriend were having next door. I can’t deny though, I wanted to grab Seungyun and wrap my arms around her. I wanted to do the same thing to her. I guess it’s sort of a sick idea but hey, I’m a guy, and I have needs.

            “Hey Taemin! What’s up?” it was Yuki one of Seungyun’s friends.

            “Nothing, really” I sighed.

            “What? Why the long face? Where’s Seungyun?” she asked.

            “She’s there back in our room” I gloomily replied.

            “So, what’s the problem? Was there a little fight that occurred?” she asked.

            “No, it’s just that I don’t know what do with Seungyun when it comes to -related stuff anymore” I explained “I don’t want to make her feel awkward when she’s around me just because she knows there’s something that I want that she can’t give.”

            “Aww, that’s alright Taemin, the two of you will get over it” she smiled and handed me a drink.

            Yuki and I talked about different stuff while drinking alcohol. I think I had more than 10 mugs. I just hope Seungyun doesn’t notice when I get back to our room. After a few more rounds, I have to admit Yuki and I were heavily drunk.

            “You know Taemin I’ve always thought you were really cute” Yuki complimented and put her hand on mine.

            “Really?” I chuckled.

            She abruptly saddle in front and on top of me. I wasn’t really myself for that moment so it was cool with me. She started to seduce me, and biting my ear. I suggested that we should continue this in her room and she agreed. I was sort of guilty that I was cheating on Seungyun but on the other hand Yuki was amazing, she fully satisfied the pleasure I yearned for.

Seungyun’s POV

            I fell asleep that night while waiting for Taemin to come back, but I guess he never did. Maybe he fell asleep somewhere near the seashore. I just hope he’s ok.

             I went over to Mina’s room to ask how she was doing and if she saw where Taemin went last night. I knocked on her door; I was expecting Mina to be the one to open the door but I was wrong. To my surprise Jonghyun was the one who answered.

            “Oh, hey Seungyun” Jonghyun smiled ecstatically.

            “J-Jonghyun?! I-Isn’t this supposed to be Mina’s room?!” I was shocked.

            “Well, yeah but, you know” he smirked.

            “Ugh, anyways have you seen Taemin?” I asked.

            “Umm, nope” he shook his head.

            “Oh, thanks anyway” I faked a smile and he smiled back before he closed the door.

             Gosh, is everyone having these days? I can’t believe that Mina actually did it with Jonghyun. Well, if Mina did it I wouldn’t be surprised if Yuki got laid last night too. I chuckled to myself; I wonder if she did it with Onew or Key?  I went to her room and knocked three times but no one answered. I knocked again, but still, no response. I turned the doorknob and realized that it wasn’t locked. I decided to take a peek. Like I said Yuki got laid too, but I couldn’t see who she slept with, his face was covered by a pillow. Suddenly he woke and sat up; I was shocked to see who he was. I didn’t want to believe it, but I was seeing it with my own two eyes. It was Taemin, in bed with my best friend Yuki. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

            “T-Taemin,” I stammered.

            “S-Seungyun! Wait, I can explain! I’m sorry!” he yelled in panic.

            I didn’t want his explanation; it was obvious that he slept with someone who can give him what he wanted because I couldn’t give myself to him. Unbelievable, all this time I thought he really loved me but I guess I was wrong. His love was conditional.

            I ran back to our room and locked the door. I couldn’t stop crying, I just hated the feeling being cheated on with your best friend. All I wanna do is get out of this resort filled with boundless appetites. I started packing my stuff while Taemin pounded on the door pleading me to let him in and explain. I ignored everything he said, it wouldn’t matter, what’s done is done. He cheated, it’s over.

            “Seungyun please don’t do this to me” Taemin begged me not to leave when I got outside. I slapped his face when I had the chance.

            “Don’t ever, ever speak to me again” I said coldly “You can tell Yuki to do the same. I hate you both.”

            “Seungyun please don’t walk away. Let’s talk about this” he begged as he grabbed my arm, but I just shook his hand off and started walking to the nearest bus stop.

            “Please Seungyun, I’m begging you just let me explain” he said walking backwards to talk to me as kept on moving forward.        

            We finally reached the bus stop. Taemin kept on asking me to stay but I on the other hand kept on refusing. Luckily a bus arrived after a few second and I got on it without hesitation. I left Taemin at the bus stop even if I didn’t want to, but I guess he deserved it.

            A year passed and Taemin and I had no communication. I changed my cell phone number and I moved out of my parents’ house. I figured that I could already live on my own and even better that no good, cheater Taemin won’t find me. Then again, I still remember him from time to time. Even if all I ever tried to do was forget about him, it never seems to work. Well, there’s one thing I’m sure of, he’s probably with another girl by now. I wouldn’t be hard to replace, plus he’s really attractive so girls would rarely reject a guy like him.

            The next day I headed off to visit my parents. It’s been a long while since I’ve heard from them and my mom’s complaining why I don’t visit. I kind of miss the old neighborhood already so I agreed to visit them.

When I got back to the old town that I grew up in, I noticed that the whole town was decorated as if there was a huge fiesta going on but there wasn’t. Plus, there were no people or animals on the street. It seems as if the whole place was deserted. I wouldn’t be that surprised if tumbleweeds came rolling in. What happened to this place? Have zombies officially taken over? I’m just joking of course, but seriously, this town’s never been dead silent like this. It’s actually creeping me out.

            I decided to sit down on the nearby bench and decide whether to continue to walk to my parents’ house or just back out since this place was giving me the goose bumps. I felt something sharp hit my . It made me stand back up quickly and curse out loud, good thing that no one was there to hear me. I found out that I accidentally sat on a rose with really sharp thorns. Clumsy me, when will this inborn clumsiness end?

            I saw a child running away with a basket of roses. That’s funny; I didn’t see him a while ago. He must’ve dropped the rose on the bench accidentally and got scared because I sounded really angry when I was saying foul words. I decided to run after the kid to apologize and ask why the town seems empty. I ran and ran until I couldn’t take it anymore the kid was too fast. I stopped at the famous vintage-themed restaurant in town. Oh great, this was where Taemin and I had our very first date. Never mind that! It was also empty, what happened to this place?

            Someone tapped my shoulder from behind. There were children holding out a banner saying “Welcome home Seungyun!!!” and it seems that all of the townspeople were behind me too. They all welcomed me home. What they did was really sweet then again; this was one hell of a shocker. Ugh, my parents must be behind all this. Why didn’t I think of that in the first place? After all they were close to everyone in town, but why haven’t they come out yet to hug me, correction, suffocate me?  The people that cornered me held up some cards one by one, per word. The cards said, “I’m really sorry for what I’ve done to you. I know it was a really big mistake and I regret it so much. Now, after my long wait, I can finally ask you the question ‘Will you give me a second chance?’“.

            “Wh-What the…” I said to myself.

            Music started to play. The people surrounding me started to split into two parts creating a path. Five guys with their backs turned were standing there, singing. Their figures were really familiar; I just can’t put my finger on it. They finally turned around after a few seconds. It was Jonghyun, Minho, Key, Onew and…

            “T-Taemin” I sighed.

I can’t do it, it’s like a habit, I can’t do it like I thought I could

I can’t live, I can’t live, my heart is filled with love pain

Since there are memories left in thoughtful places

I’m searching for you again, you, you, love pain

I can’t even erase you, I can’t even throw you away

I endure another day again, I’m trapped inside of you

My heart is just tired No, no, no

Why is a day without you so hard?

I can’t live, I can’t live, my heart is filled with love pain

My unspeakable, indispensable

Overflowing love pain

            They looked at me as they sang. Taemin put on a sort of disappointed but hopeful face, while the other four guys were smiling at me. Taemin finally approached me after the song.

            “T-Taemin, wh-what’s all this?” I asked.

            “I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to do something nice and extravagant for you, hoping you would give me another shot if I do this” he explained.

            “Taemin, it’s just that…” I sighed.

            “I’m really sorry about what happened. It wasn’t because you weren’t enough, was drunk. Please forgive me” he looked straight into my eyes.

            “B-but…” I tried to hesitate, but I couldn’t. I could see that wholehearted sincerity and resentment in his eyes. How could I ever reject something like that?

            “Come on Seungyun, darling. Give the boy another chance” it was my dad. He chuckled from behind. “He stays on our front porch everyday waiting for you to come back. The poor thing rarely eats and sleeps.”

            “Taemin?! Is it true, why’d you do that?!” I scolded him.

            “Don’t worry, I deserved it anyway” he exhaled “Anyways, do I get another shot?”

            “F-Fine, one date” I stuttered.

            The people around us cheered while Taemin hugged me tight. After that the whole town set up a rave party celebrating my homecoming. At least, that’s what they said it would be all about.

            The next day Taemin and I met up at the park. I told him that we should just have a simple picnic for our date. I can’t deny but I guess I was excited to spend time with him again. There was an awkward ambience at first but we easily got comfortable in each other’s presence quickly again. We even fed each other the picnic food we brought. Unfortunately, it started to rain.

            “Taemin we should go” I giggled.

            “What why?” he looked puzzled.

            “What do you mean why? It’s raining” I laughed.

            “You’re still a big wuss until now” he smirked and pulled me from the shade into the drizzling rain. We danced and played as if we were kids, just like before.

            The rain started to grow stronger and Taemin pulled me towards the park’s old storage room for shade.

            “Let’s stay here until the rain stops” he frowned and sat down.

            “Hey, is there something wrong?” I asked and sat beside him.

            “It’s just that, you might be mad because I didn’t listen to you a while ago. Now we’re stuck here” he puffed.

            “That’s ok” I smiled.

            “Really?” he looked enlightened.

            “Really” I chuckled and leaned closer, maybe a little too close.

            The next thing I know we were kissing each other again. His lips were warm and wet. They moved up and down, slowly and roughly. I never imagined that we would ever be like this again. Due to our wild kissing, Taemin and I fell down on the floor of the storage room. We continued kissing until Taemin stopped.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked, lying down on the stone cold floor.

            “I-I’m sorry, it’s just that I might get carried away” he sat up and put on a disappointed face. I hated seeing him like that, and then I thought that this guy waited a long time for me to come back without any guarantee. He sacrificed for me, he loves me, and I love him. Maybe I should give what he waited for a really long time now.

            “Hey, that’s just fine” I consoled him.

            “Huh?” he was confused. I started kissing him again and I guess he got the message.

            He pushed me back on the floor and started kissing me roughly again. He moved his lips down to my neck and his hands on my chest. I felt so guilty doing this, but it was sort of pleasurable too. He started removing my clothes and I did the same to his. Taemin started to me downstairs and I couldn’t help but moan. It’s a good thing that it was raining hard outside, no one would hear us. After a few minutes he finally entered in me. It was big and stiff, and it hurt the moment it entered. I hugged him tightly as he pulled and pushed. The rain lasted long enough for us to try different positions and he finally exploded on me. After moments of romance, we cuddled to keep each other warm. He had a bright expression on his face and he kept pecking on my cheeks and lips from time to time.

            “I love you” I told him.

            “I love you too. I was so stupid back then, not waiting for you and everything” he sighed.

            “Hey, don’t mind that. What matters is we still love each other and we’re back on track” I said as I kissed his cheek.

            “Hey, will you marry me?” he asked and got a ring out of his pants that laid on the floor.

            “YES!” I said without hesitation. It was a dream come true for me. “Wait, but why all of a sudden?”

            “It was part of my plan. I didn’t exactly expect this whole thing happening but I was going to propose a while ago if it wasn’t for the rain. It’s just that I don’t ever want to let you go after I make you fall in love with me again” he chuckled.

            “Again? I never stopped loving you too Taemin” I said as I leaned on his shoulder.

            He held me even tighter. The rain kept on getting stronger during that time. It must’ve been 6 hours before it stopped, which made us do more things. Well, even if you exclude the , I would still love Taemin whatever happens, and I know that he would too.

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