Donghae groaned, loudly, as he woke up, his skull pounding horrifically and his vision hazy. Never again. He was never drinking again. He didn’t care what the occasion was, he was not having another goddamned drink ever again. Of course, he went through this with every hangover he had, but this time, he really, really meant it. Yes, he did.

Oh god, what the hell had he done last night? Why, why oh why, did he have the sinking feeling something had gone slightly wrong? He swallowed, mouth dry as he attempted to sit up. He shifted up, his back resting against the headboard as his head swam. His eyes squeezed shut, he tried to recall what the hell he’d done last night. He knew they’d gone to celebrate the job at Heechul and Han Geng’s bar, he could remember that much, but he wasn’t sure what else, and there was a niggling feeling at the back of his mind.

Had he had a one night stand again? No, he didn’t think so. For one thing, he’d be slightly happier, and possibly not alone, which he definitely was at the moment. So what else could he have done? He pushed his bottom lip out thoughtfully. Well, everyone had been there, so it couldn’t have been anything too destructive, because Wookie would have called him to make sure- , Wookie. It came flooding back and he cringed, his face in his hands. It wasn’t that kissing Wookie had so bad, it was that he’d done it right in front of Hyukjae, and that look… . Oh . Well, he was in trouble now.

It was good it was his day off. He could skulk alone and avoid everyone. He could be antisocial for one day, nobody would notice. He groaned into his hands again, and flung the covers off, intending to stand up and take the painkillers that were waiting for him in the bathroom cabinet. He was unsteady on his feet, a little woozy, but he tried to shake it off, staggering to the bathroom and poking about until he found the little capsules. He downed two of them with a glass of water and leaned his forehead against the cool mirror, cursing his drunken stupidity.

Okay, so it wasn’t as if he and Ryeowook hadn’t been a bit silly and close like that before, but he’d never done it in front of the ex he now had to work with, He could almost hear Heechul sing “awkward”…

This was embarrassing. Sort of. Unless, maybe his drunken mind had come to conclusions about the angry look Hyukjae had. That was a likely explanation, right? Well, it was possible, he supposed. Didn’t make it any less embarrassing, though. He sighed, his head still swimming, and left the bathroom to sit back on his bed, head hanging down. He blinked quietly for a few minutes, before his phone buzzed from its place on the bedside table, informing him he had a text.

Yawning, he stretched out a hand for it, and clicked on the little message icon. It was from Leeteuk, telling him to relax and take meds for the horrible hangover he was sure Donghae had, and that he had emailed Donghae the details of the trip. It was actually a very umma-like text, and Donghae chuckled, blessing Leeteuk for being the best umma ever. Well, not that he didn’t love his actual umma, but it wasn’t like she would ever approve of him being drunk and stupid. Whereas Leeteuk found it funny.

He contemplated ignoring everything and going back to bed, but he realised that would just make him feel worse, so he grabbed his phone and stumbled to his kitchen. Cereal…was not a good idea, because he only had the sugary crap that tasted great but was not for unsettled stomachs. Orange juice and dry toast? Not exactly appetising, but he didn’t feel like being ill. So the bread went in the toaster, and he was searching out a clean glass, when he remembered that a shower would help too. He’d eat the toast and drink the juice, then shower up and decide what he was doing for the day. Sleep was important… Yeah, but when he looked at the clock, he saw it was 12:00 already. He’d slept the full twelve hours, he was pretty sure. And he was up now, no use wasting the day. He sighed. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, but he’d go to the gym, clear his mind and ignore the hungover feeling to train. Nothing too strenuous, just a gentle workout to keep his body fit.

It wasn’t the worst hangover he’d ever had, he’d keep that in mind. No, that one had occurred the day he’d said goodbye to Hyukjae. He winced, remembering the killer headache the day after that. But it had been nothing compared to how he’d felt inside.

The toast popped up, and after pouring the orange juice, he stuck a piece in his mouth absent-mindedly and munched on it quietly, thinking. It could have been worse, he reasoned. He could have actually had in the bathroom, which was- Oh god. Siwon. Well. There was one person he was never going to be able to look at the same way again. It wasn’t the fact that he’d caught him having that freaked him out, it was the fact that he’d had to see it. And he’d been going to call him and see if he wanted to go to the gym together. That was out of the window now. He couldn’t face him, not today…

After he’d finished the juice and the toast, and stood under the shower for what felt like an hour, but in reality was only about fifteen minutes, he decided he was ready to try and work out the nasty drink-toxins in his body. He could almost see Teukie’s disapproving face. “I told you to rest, Donghae, not work out…” He shrugged as he pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt. He hadn’t got anything else to do, and he was only going to read through that information Teuk had sent him when he knew his mind wouldn’t turn it into a bunch of squiggles.

Driving wasn’t an option, and he couldn’t face the loud roar of the bus, nor could he be bothered to call a taxi, which only really left walking. He guessed that was a stupid idea, but at this point he was becoming stubborn, brought on by his embarrassment, he thought, and he was going to walk to the gym until he stopped thinking about it. The gym wasn’t that far from his house. Like…a quarter of a mile, if that.

The fridge was opened, a Powerade retrieved, a jacket shrugged on, and he was ready to go, his phone slipped into a pocket. He walked determinedly out of his front door, jangling his keys as he shut the door, because he wasn’t going to think about it. He was going to focus on his workout, he was going to remember he had a wonderful opportunity, in America no less, and Leeteuk-hyung had thought highly enough of him to make him a leader. These were all pleasant things that he should be thinking about, not Hyukjae’s expression. That would only lead to angst about Hyukjae’s gorgeous face, and then he’d probably want to get a bit sad, and being emotional really wasn’t fun, so he’d really like it if his brain stopped focusing on that, please.

He was walking almost blindly, his mind going nineteen-to-the-dozen, when he realised he’d arrived, the chic, glass exterior of the gym winking at him in the weak sunlight. He could see the usual receptionist at the desk, a burly man who constantly wore black wife-beaters and always gave Donghae an approving look, as if congratulating him for being here constantly.

ship confirmed, he walked into the changing rooms, stuffing his jacket in his usual locker and securing the lock, so that he could enter the equipment section, where men and women were puffing at various speeds on treadmills, rowing machines, everything. He could do yoga, he supposed, but he wasn’t sure this was the right time for a class, and anyway, he wasn’t signed up to one today. Hyukjae had always a little for his fondness for yoga, but he liked it, found it calming, and in the years where they’d been separate, had found it had steadied him.

But not today. Today he’d just jog on the treadmill, slowly, for half an hour, and then he’d see how he went. He found a free one and stepped on, walking lightly, as he smiled gently to the woman next to him, who was going at a steady pace, her breathing even. He walked just a little faster, gradually speeding up until he was jogging, keeping up the pace easily. He might speed up later, but for now, he was content to carry on at this pace, concentrating on keeping his breathing level, on seeing only the poster of the overly muscled guy right in front of him.

He was doing well, and had sped up a little, when the sounds of an exercise class spilling out reached his ears. His rhythm broken, he turned to look, and recognised his usual yoga teacher, a small little bubble of disappointment rising at the fact that he had missed a class. He smiled ruefully in her direction and she waved. Sighing, he turned back to the treadmill, before he heard a familiar voice.

No…it couldn’t be. Fate wasn’t so cruel, right? He nibbled his lip worriedly. So if he turned around and looked, he wasn’t going to see Hyukjae, right? He squinted down at the controls on the treadmill. He really wanted to turn around, just to satisfy his curiosity, to see if the voice that was getting nearer was Hyukjae’s, but he knew if it was, he’d be screwed. Only not literally.

He gave in and turned around, stopping the treadmill, his eyes widening when he saw Hyukjae.

But he wasn’t alone. Oh no. He had an arm around the waist of…the man he’d bumped into in the park. With the dog. S-sungmin, was it?

Donghae felt his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. Oh god. Hyukjae, his Hyukjae…had moved on. Into the arms of this man, who was excitedly chattering about how great the yoga class they’d just attended had been. That hurt. Donghae’s stomach twisted as he thought about all the times Hyukjae had refused to go with him, all the times Hyukjae had promised, sworn, there was no one but him.

Even as Donghae had been leaving, Hyuk had sworn that he would be forever his, that Donghae would be the only one he’d love forever, even though his heart was broken and the tears were pouring down his face. Donghae was his Hae, and nothing could ever change that. But Sungmin had obviously had. Donghae watched as they walked together, Sungmin’s expression chilled out, relaxed, as Hyuk smiled happily at him. His gut twisted even more when Sungmin kissed Hyukjae’s cheek, muttering “My Eunhyuk” sweetly, before Hyukjae caught his hand and squeezed it.

Donghae couldn’t help but think that Hyukjae was a little more openly affectionate with Sungmin. Or at least, he didn’t get annoyed when Sungmin .  Donghae couldn’t take any more. He couldn’t watch them be cute, he just couldn’t, so he slipped off the still treadmill and walked as quickly and innocuously to the changing rooms as he could, praying they wouldn’t see him, praying he could get out before he either got angry or hurt.

The changing rooms weren’t empty, but they weren’t full, either, and he was able to get in a shower and soap off the sweat quickly before he dried himself off and pulled his clothes back on, slurping down Powerade in an attempt to distract himself before he exploded.

He was ready to.

He was sneaking out of the changing rooms when his phone rang, warning him of an incoming call from Ryeowook. He answered without thinking. “Hello?”

“Hyung!” Ryeowook said brightly, far too brightly for someone who’d had that much to drink last night. “I was just wondering, can you come get me, because Mimi’s at work, and Kyu’s at home, but he’s sort of scaring me, because he’s just playing Starcraft and he keeps muttering er…” The rambling went on, but Donghae was clutching the phone quite hard, because it was a lifeline he could really use right now, especially if it was Wookie.

“Y-yes.” He murmured. “I’ll…I’ll come.” Wookie made a happy sound.

“Hyung, are you okay?” He asked.

“I…” he didn’t know what to say. Should he admit he felt like absolute because their new co-worker who happened to be his ex just appeared with his new boyfriend? Or was it best to leave it? “I’ve been better, Wook…”