So he just pulled Donghae close, releasing his shock of red hair and wrapping his arms around him. Their legs entangled of their own accord, and it was if he’d never left their shared bed, Donghae’s particular scent blocked his nose, and he decided not to say anything. Instead, he allowed Donghae’s face to bury itself against his chest and to fall asleep, still clutching him close, breathing in nothing but Donghae, and for one moment, his foolish, traitorous brain convinced him that it was as it was before, and that he would wake up to a sleeping Donghae and a happy relationship.

And then Donghae sniffled, and he knew it was all a lie. But he still slept, pretending for one moment, it was all okay.

When Donghae awoke properly, Hyukjae was gone, his clothes taken and only the rumpled sheets evidence of what had happened that night. But he knew he’d be back, because Hyukjae had whispered it in his ear slowly as he’d left the bed, Donghae still half asleep. He’d come back, but Donghae didn’t know when. He knew Hyukjae, though, and he knew that he wouldn’t give in to his feelings until he had sorted it out, and solved that heart-breaking dilemma of Sungmin.

That hurt. But Donghae knew he deserved it. He shouldn’t have kissed Hyukjae, and he shouldn’t have let him go so far as to sleep with him. It was a complicated, painful situation for everyone involved, but there was no escaping it. And Donghae blamed himself, anyway. Perhaps, if he hadn’t left Hyukjae so abruptly those years ago, then none of this would have happened, and Hyukjae wouldn’t have to hurt a good man who’d done nothing but care for him.

He didn’t even resent Sungmin, anymore. He felt too guilty, because whatever Hyukjae was going to do, it definitely involved breaking up with Sungmin, because Hyukjae was a very honest person. He wouldn’t stay with Sungmin just for the sake of it if he wasn’t sure that was what he wanted.

So Donghae would wait and see what Hyukjae did, because whatever was going to happen, he knew Hyuk, he and he knew he wouldn’t keep him out of the loop. Whatever was decided, Donghae would know, but it wasn’t going to happen while they were in an American hotel room, waiting for their stay to end. For half a minute, Donghae wondered what it would have been like had Hyukjae had not been here, if he would have enjoyed the trip more, if it would have been worth it. He was frightened to discover he had no clue, and was actually glad this whole mess with Hyukjae had happened.

But then, he had no one to blame but himself. He had been the immature idiot who had run away and left neither one of them with closure. It was…hard to walk out of that hotel room and find Leeteuk and everyone else. They were stuck in meetings, constant conversations about the results they had uncovered from their device, and Donghae had never seen Siwon and Yesung so smug. And although he should have been right in the middle, smiling and discussing the data happily, wondering what the strength of this particular tornado had been, he was a little…lacklustre.

Hyukjae didn’t look at him properly, and he didn’t really interact with him. That was okay, for now, but they were going to have to work together soon, when they got back home. But, by then, Donghae knew Hyukjae would have said something to Sungmin. Hyukjae could never leave things undone if he knew he had to do it.

So a few, tense days later, and they were preparing to go back home. Donghae didn’t know whether or not to be apprehensive or resigned, and he was grateful that as soon as they got on the plane, Wookie scrambled into the seat next to him. With their strange connection, he knew Wookie had figured out that he had slept with Hyukjae. But, being Wookie, and understanding Donghae as he did, he didn’t push for information. Instead, he spent the first hour of the trip regaling him with tales of what he did with Yesung and Henry, and Donghae tried to laugh along, and forget that Hyukjae sat two rows behind him with Siwon and Leeteuk.

When Wookie went to sleep for the rest of the long flight, Donghae couldn’t, too het up and ridiculously sad. He almost thought of getting out of his seat and going to talk with Siwon, but he knew he only wanted to do that because Hyukjae was next to him, and he needed to pretend that this could work out, and that he wasn’t going to have to spend his whole life trying to get over Hyukjae. But then, there was the other part of him that knew he didn’t deserve it and was selfish for hoping.

Sungmin met Hyukjae at the airport. It wasn’t a surprise, and he knew he should have expected it, but he couldn’t help the wave of remorse and guilt as Sungmin greeted Hyukjae cheerfully, pressing a kiss to his cheek and taking his case, as a good boyfriend would. Leeteuk gave him a look full of sympathy as he waited for his girlfriend to get through the airport (Hae Mi was always late). Wookie left Henry with his luggage and shoved his camera into his hands in order to come over to him, seeing his despondent look.

Donghae sighed and gave Wookie a rueful look. Wookie returned it with a small smile, and Leeteuk gave a relieved grin as Hae Mi appeared, a little breathless. And because he was feeling pitiful and alone, he felt like everyone had someone to meet them except him. This was stupid, of course. Wookie didn’t have anyone, and Yesung only had his brother because his parents wanted to celebrate for him. And Siwon was only on the phone to his parents.

Besides, he should have known that Leeteuk and Ryeowook would never leave him alone, because soon Leeteuk was insisting that he, Ryeowook, Henry and Siwon all had dinner with him and Hae Mi, who smiled and gently urged them to come. He thought it was probably a good distraction, and he didn’t stop to watch Hyukjae and Sungmin go. He just silently hoped for the best.

Hyukjae watched Donghae leave out of the corner of his eye, and felt like . He knew he had to end it with Sungmin, and he felt like the worst person in the world. Sungmin was such a wonderful, kind person, and he didn’t deserve this. He knew he should have thought about that when he was ing Donghae, but he had chosen to ignore it, and he had to bear with the consequences for that decision.

He couldn’t return Sungmin’s sweet smile, and his heart cracked a little when Sungmin’s own smile faltered a little from it. “I guess you’re a little jet-lagged, eh?” He tried. And Hyukjae could only nod, grateful for this excuse. He could be jet-lagged, he supposed, but that wasn’t why he felt so and it wasn’t why he so unresponsive.

He didn’t know how to start of the conversation. He couldn’t leap in and announce that he’d had with his ex-boyfriend while away from Sungmin because that was crass and Sungmin deserved the best explanation he could give, although there was no excuse.  So instead, he let Sungmin drive him home, and wished that he could give him more than a tense and silent drive to the house they shared, a house he knew he was going to have to leave soon. He couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to do such a heart-breaking thing to Sungmin, but he had allowed his emotions to get the better of him, and really, he should have realised he was still in love with Donghae himself. Even his sister had known.

When Sungmin parked the car, his smile smaller than it had been when he had come to pick Hyukjae up, he got out first and pulled his suitcase out. He seemed to sense that Hyukjae was feeling distant and thinking about something, so he didn’t push him. He opened the door and was ambushed by their dog, a Border Collie who really belonged to Sungmin but had adopted Hyukjae quite cheerfully. While calming the dog down, he spared a glance for Hyukjae, who stepped out of the car, and steadied his shoulders.

He had to do this. He had to make this right and go because he couldn’t stay with Sungmin and he couldn’t leave it like this. So as soon as they were both in the house, his suitcase in the hall and the over-excited dog placated with a toy to gnaw on, he started.

“Min.” Sungmin turned to look at him, his expression open. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

Sungmin blinked for a second, before his expression became concerned. “That…doesn’t sound good, Hyuk.” He swallowed, because he didn’t like the feeling Hyukjae’s grave look was giving me. “What…what is it?”

“I…” Hyukjae let out a shaky breath. He couldn’t do this, he really couldn’t, how could he tell the honest, loving, wonderful Sungmin he’d cheated on him? Sungmin’s round eyes just looked up at him, soft, unassuming, unaware of what Hyukjae had done. He wanted to cry and be sick at the same time. He had never been good with emotions. Oh, this… “I had with someone else.” He whispered it shamefully, eyes shut tight, because he was a coward and couldn’t bear to watch Sungmin’s face fall.

Sungmin was silent. He breathed out, slowly, before he said anything. “You had . With someone else.” There was no emotion in his voice. It made it feel all the more terrible, to have it stated so blankly.

“I-I did.” It was hard to breathe, hard to say it, when Sungmin did nothing, when his guilt was crushing.

“Who?” The question was short, snapped out in a voice that Hyukjae could hear was on the verge of breaking. “Someone in America?”

“Donghae.” It was another pathetic whisper because he was too cowardly to say it louder.

“The-the guy we saw in the café?” Sungmin remembered. Of course he did. His shock was evident, and he shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, trying to find a tiny sliver of control, something to cling onto.

Hyukjae forced his eyes open. He owed Sungmin that much. He shouldn’t say this all like a child, unable to face up to what he’d done wrong. “He’s my ex. He’s the one that broke up with me before you. I..." He had no idea how to get across the sheer size and depth of the feelings and history he had with Donghae. Sungmin didn’t even know he was the ex he’d spent so long trying to forget. “I was stupid. I am so sorry. I should never have…” He choked, but forced it down. He had to apologise. He couldn’t leave it unsaid. “I’m still in love with him. I thought I wasn’t, but I was wrong. And I have done something so wrong and I am sorry… I know that is no excuse, I mean, there is no excuse, but I just…”

“Don’t…” Sungmin broke in. “Just don’t…say you’re sorry.”

Hyukjae felt a tear trickle down. “But I am. I did something awful.”

Sungmin walked a little further away from him, his hand closing on the dog’s collar. “I guess you’re leaving me for him, then?” The question was heart-breaking and stated so sadly, Hyukjae couldn’t help his tears as they came thicker and faster.

“You deserve better than me, Minnie.” The nickname was heavy in his mouth, but it was the truth, and he had to get it out.

Sungmin looked straight at him, his eyes tear-filled. “But I wanted you.”

Hyukjae shuddered as he tried to stop the tears, the pathetic, useless tears he couldn’t seem to help. “And I wanted you…”

Sungmin sighed. “But not enough.” His hand moved to slowly start the dog’s soft ears, his hands methodically going backwards and forwards as the dog’s tongue flopped out and he panted happily. “But not enough.” He repeated, his voice thickening. “I should have known. I should have…felt something.” He closed his eyes and looked down, his lips pressing together, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed back tears.

Hyukjae wished that Sungmin wasn’t such a good person. He wished he would rant and scream at him, tell him he was a terrible person for sleeping with another man, tell him to off because he didn’t need an unworthy cheater like him. But that wasn’t Sungmin; he was too much of a caring person. “It’s not your fault.” He told him shakily. “It was all me, I’m the bad person…you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, Minnie, you shouldn’t have to deal with this and it’s all my fault…”

“Don’t call me Minnie.” Sungmin choked out. “And you are the one who did this.” It was the closest to accusing he could get, because his heart had broken…but he still cared enough about Hyukjae to have him happy.  He didn’t know how to feel, but he knew one thing. He didn’t want Hyukjae to see him cry. He had lost his right to that. “Just-just go.” He took a deep breath in, his hand tightening on the dog’s ears. “Leave. I want you to be happy…and if he makes you happy, you should go.” His heart shattered as he said it, but it was the truth. He would not keep Hyukjae if Hyukjae didn’t want him. “Please, just leave. I can’t…I can’t look at you.”

Hyukjae nodded, even though Sungmin couldn’t see, the tears flowing freely now. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He said again. “Someday you’ll find someone much better than me…”

Sungmin didn’t look at him. “That’s what they all say.”

Hyukjae didn’t know how to answer it. He had no way of redeeming himself, so all he could do was leave, and call his sister to take him in for the night and cry all over her like he was a twelve year old girl who’d just had her first heart-break. Sora was understanding and persuaded her husband to distract his niece and nephew as she comforted her guilt-ridden brother.

He’d never felt worse in his life. Not even when Donghae broke up with him, because this was worse. He was the reason for Sungmin’s heart breaking, and he was the bad person in this situation. And Hyukjae had always tried to be the good person, but now, he wasn’t. He was the villain of the piece, the bad man who’d done wrong. And that made him feel like the most disgusting thing ever.

Donghae was left hanging for a week. It was a hard, dazed week for him. He was lost in the horribly enticing idea that Hyukjae still loved him and was going to come back to him. But he also felt guilty, because it took two people to cheat, and he had been the other one in the relationship. He should have never allowed it to go so far, never given into Hyukjae’s kiss and let him do something that was unforgivable

But it was Hyukjae. Saying no to him was impossible…and they’d done what they’d done, so it was time to take the blame. Maybe he was waiting for nothing. Perhaps Hyukjae wouldn’t come back to him, and he’d end up alone forever. He’d deserve it. He was the one to leave, and now he was the one to destroy any chance of a new, loving relationship Hyukjae had. But he couldn’t stop that budding feeling of hope.

It stayed with him all the way through work, as he wondered if Hyukjae would come to him and say the three little words he’d been missing. The three little words they had always told each other. The three little words that he was longing to hear, because he was stupidly still in love with him and couldn’t move on.

He sat in the lab one night, ostensibly looking through some kind of data he was supposed to understand but in reality, he was sitting there, trying to fight the urge to leave it all and run back home. There was music in the background, a slow song in English that he had heard once and liked so much he had put it on his iPod.

He couldn’t concentrate. So he sat back in the chair, ignoring the paper, and turning up the speakers on his tiny iPod dock to hear the song.

He was tired of feeling like this and tired of waiting, and for a minute, it felt like the lyrics fit with his life. All I do is make you promise some things I won't know. He thought that that line weirdly fit with his feelings for Hyukjae, but he blamed it on how tired he was. He carried on listening because he liked the song and because it fit with his mood. His never-ending loop of guilt and secret hope left him on edge as he waited for Hyukjae’s decision. He knew that Hyukjae still loved him.

But that didn’t mean he would come back to him. After all, Donghae was the one who had left.

The song finished, and Donghae pressed play again, not noticing as someone walked into the room. It was only as he turned back round that he came face to face with Hyukjae. His heart thumped wildly and he knew his mouth was open. He tried to shut it quickly, and suppress the hopeful feelings bubbling up inside him.

Hyukjae spoke first, straightforward and to the point. “I broke up with Sungmin.” His voice was controlled, but Donghae, who knew him so well, could hear the hurt and pain in his tone. He knew it must have killed him to have told Sungmin what he had done. He knew that Hyukjae could never have kept it from him because he was too honest and Sungmin deserved an explanation.

He knew all of that, and yet, he still asked “Why?” because he was desperate to hear the answer he wanted.

Hyukjae sighed and stepped closer to Donghae’s chair as Donghae stood up himself. “Because I still love you.” It was a simple statement, and one he would only say now, when he was free to love Donghae without cheating. And although loving Donghae caused Sungmin pain, he couldn’t help pulling Donghae closer to him and whispering “I think I always did…” into his ear, before kissing him slowly.

Donghae’s heart beat at a thousand miles a minute as he kissed back, hands going up to trace the beloved face as his lips moved against Hyukjae’s softly, because it was like having a part of himself back and he felt complete again. Hyukjae’s hands were all over him as he tried to memorise him once more, and they only broke apart when they needed to breathe, Hyukjae peppering smaller kisses all over the younger man’s face as Donghae murmured apologies and they both rejoiced in the feeling of being together once more.

It was an hour later, when they had had enough of skin-ship, that Donghae asked the question. “So does this mean we’re back together?”

And Hyukjae laced his fingers through his and just said “Yes.” Because despite the guilt and mixed up feelings he felt, the very reason he had come to find Donghae was to tell him he loved him and make him his again, because they were Hyukjae and Donghae and they had loved each other too long and too much to be apart any longer.

“I love you.” Donghae said.

“And I love you too.” Hyukjae replied. And that was that, because it was the truth and it had taken them so much to get back to what they should have known all along.

A/N Oh, hey, again. :D So this is the very last chapter. I did it! I finished it. Well, not quite. I have the epilogue to go. But I hope this was good enough and to everybody reading this, thank you so, so much! And the song Donghae was listening to was Because by Novastar, if anyone's interested...