Donghae swallowed sadly, the painful lump in his throat making it hard. The shared greeting had been so awkward, when three years ago, all it would have taken was a smile, and they’d be in an embrace within minutes. Yeah. Three years ago, that is. He gave a short nod, twisting his lips, and turned around, looking for something.

They hadn’t even taken off yet, and he was already desperately trying to escape. This was pathetic, absolutely pathetic. He could last half a day with Hyukjae; it really wasn’t that hard. And he could sleep for some of it, like Kangin already was, and he could see Henry, who was a nervous flyer, headphones plugged in and his eyes shut tight. The captain began to announce that they were getting ready to take off, and Donghae chanced a look at Hyukjae. He was staring out of the window, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he breathed out. He almost looked nervous.

It was to be expected. Fate was a pain in the , and not many people cherished the idea of being stuck with someone they’d cut all ties with for fourteen hours. The plane began to rise up, and Donghae winced a little as his ears popped. He was never lucky on flights; they always played up. And he didn’t have the distraction of the window, because currently, Hyukjae was staring pretty intently at it.

Well, . His bag had been dropped to the floor when he’d sat down, and although he could have gotten his iPod out and maybe some work out to distract himself if he bent to get it, but he didn’t want to lean down and accidentally brush against Hyukjae. 

So he was stuck being awkward, then. He hadn’t any ideas as to what he should do, and he refused to get his bag if it could result in inappropriate touching. The roar of the plane was loud background noise, dimmed by his hearing having popped.

He wondered how long it would be until they started handing out food. He wasn’t really hungry, it was too early in the morning for that, but it would be something to mess with, at least. Leeteuk was immersed in his papers over in the other aisle, and while he was sure Wookie would talk to him, he didn’t want to get in trouble for yelling.

He could make friends with the random passenger next to him, he supposed. But he didn’t want to. The guy was kind of scary looking. Not that he had anything against tattoos; he just didn’t particularly like ones of people with knives in them. They were creepy. Not like the small black symbol he had tattooed on his back, across his shoulder. It was…special. Or at least, it had been, when he’d got it.

It had a meaning; it was a private in-joke between him and Hyukjae, something about their eternal love of the chase. Well, something along those lines. He knew that Hyukjae had the corresponding symbol tattooed on his back too, and while it didn’t have to mean anything, not really, it still did to Donghae. He wondered if Hyukjae even thought about it. They’d done so much together-really, the last holiday he’d had, non-work related, that was, had been with Hyukjae. That flight had been fun, not stale and cold, like this was.

He remembered their fight over the one iPod they had in the hand luggage, but the eventual agreement to share it, which had led to him sneaking one kiss in, Hyukjae’s hands slipping down into his jeans as he smirked against his lips. Donghae had pulled away, laughing, because it was too cramped in here to do that, but Hyukjae’s hand had not moved. In fact, he only removed it when the little boy in the aisle next to them asked what the two men in front of him were doing in a loud whisper. They’d never moved so fast so that they were both sitting normally before the mother turned to stare at them. Donghae hadn’t been able to help the wink he’d given the little boy when his mother shushed him, as Hyukjae shook with suppressed laughter next to him.

Donghae’s shoulders hunched down. That had been what their relationship was about-the comfortable, naughty moments, the gentle affirmation that it was only the other they wanted. But he probably did that stuff with Sungmin now. He had no need of Donghae, or the memories that Donghae found himself clinging to at the moment. He’d never thought of himself as a particularly reflective person, or someone who couldn’t let go, but with all this, he’d learned that maybe he was.

Three years was a long time, after all, and yet here he was, still as obsessed as he had been that night when he’d consumed an amount of alcohol that could have floored about twenty people. So he ignored the twinge of pain that thought made him feel, and just gave up. He gave up now. He was never going to get Hyukjae back, so there was no point anymore. Three weeks; that was it. He had three weeks where he’d be in close contact, and after that, he’d go back to the avoidance tactics that had served him so well.

But for now, screw the fact that his hand would brush against Hyukjae’s leg and up his thigh when he pulled his bag up. He muttered a gruff “Sorry” when his hand brushed upwards, determinedly looking away as Hyukjae jumped a little.

Hyukjae swallowed. He didn’t know why that one small touch had been so surprising. It wasn’t that he’d felt some sort of shock or something ridiculously over-dramatic. He just…hadn’t expected it. Hae wasn’t looking at him. He was busy fishing around for something in the black bag, and it didn’t look like it had meant something to him.

His earphones plugged in, Donghae ignored Hyuk’s curious gaze, hoping he wouldn’t notice how tense he was. His heart was beating ridiculously fast, and while he’d previously been cold in his grey V-neck t-shirt, he was warm now, hoping he wasn’t blushing like some stupid school-girl. If only he’d been next to Siwon. But Siwon appeared to be fending off what looked like the advances of the older woman next to him, a panicked look on his face as his characteristic hand gestures got a bit frantic. Donghae gave a quiet snort, kicking the back of Siwon’s seat gently.

He rolled his head back. It had only been half an hour; he still had 13 and a half to go. He would sleep. He had been feeling so exhausted lately, and there really was nothing else to do on this flight, apart from irritate Siwon, but he didn’t want to interrupt his flying hands. His eyes shut of their own accord, the music still going in the background. He hoped that he could last for at least three hours.

Eunhyuk watched as Donghae’s eyes closed. He would always say that Donghae was beautiful,  because he’d spent so long believing it, and it wasn’t something he could shake off. And he wasn’t one of those strange men who loved to watch their partners sleep, because, really, he could think of other things he’d rather be doing, but he had to admit that Donghae was good-looking even in sleep. He could remember countless times when he’d teasingly awoken Hae by running his finger over his lips, or tracing the cheekbones. But he didn’t want to do that. It felt…dangerous.  Hae almost looked like a defenceless child, almost like his nephew.

But, since he didn’t have anything to do either, he decided to sleep as well. It was better than watching Donghae, because he wasn’t supposed to do that. He shifted, trying to find a comfortable position in the seat, his neck a little sore from the way he’d slept last night, because Sungmin liked to sleep in a particular way, and he always ended up with a cricked neck. Not like Hae. Hae had always snuggled right up the back of him, arms around his waist. It was like having another blanket, and it had sort of been a comforting way to sleep.

He refused to admit that that was what he was imagining as he slipped off into sleep.

When they both awoke, it was to the sound of the stewardess asking the people on Wookie’s side what they wanted to eat and drink.

They also realised that they were leaning towards each other, Donghae’s head actually on Eunhyuks shoulder, and Eunhyuk’s body turned towards his, almost as if he was unconsciously trying to hold him. They sprang apart quickly, not looking at each other, again, the awkwardness palpable in the uneasy atmosphere. Donghae’s iPod was still going, so, with shaking hands, he turned it off, noticing that they had managed to sleep…nine hours.

Nine hours? He hadn’t managed that alone, without the aid of alcohol or sleeping pills in…years. Yet, here he was, sat next to his ex-boyfriend he knew he was still in love with, on a plane, no less,  and he had managed to sleep that long. It beggared belief.

He stretched a little, rolling his shoulders and moving his fingers. It turned out that wasn’t the best idea, because suddenly his fingers were closing around the soft material of Hyukjae’s blue hoodie, almost pulling him closer. Again. He wanted to groan. What was this close proximity doing to them?

He bit his lip and looked at his friends again. Wookie was chortling away at Yesung, who had a black marker pen and was drawing on a sleeping Henry’s face. Donghae really hoped that pen was washable, or they were going to be in serious trouble when Henry woke up and went into paroxysms about the new decoration adorning his face. He really thought Wookie was too much at times. Of course, Wookie wasn’t the one doing the drawing, but he was allowing it to happen, which was just as bad.

The woman handing out food was making their way over to them, and as she reiterated the choices, Donghae decided that yes, alcohol was a good idea. When he answered yes to his choice, he caught Leeteuk’s look as the ginger head came up sharply, a disapproving look on his face. Donghae shrugged in response. It was one glass. One glass. Nothing was going to happen…

That was what he thought,  but one meal and four glasses of the champagne later (he decided to be classy. Well, if it could be counted as classy), and he was loudly protesting that Siwon, who had fallen asleep, didn’t love him and was ignoring him. Hyukjae glanced up from his book.

Coughing, he said: “Donghae” There was no response “Donghae.” Louder this time. “Hae-ah!” Donghae’s head turned, blinking in surprise as he heard his favourite nickname coming from the one person he’d missed saying it the most.

“What is it, Hyukkie-baby?” He said, eyes wide and child-like, almost as if the last three years had never happened. Hyuk remembered he made a cuddly drunk.

“You’re disturbing the other passengers. You’re drunk. Shh.” He told him, trying to say it calmly and objectively, like he would to someone he didn’t know well, despite the fact he’d used familiar language.

“You like me when I’m drunk though.” Donghae told him plaintively. “You said I was cute when we were drunk at Sora’s wedding because they let us have all the champagne. And then we went into that little room and you decided that it was good time to give me my reward” –air quotes here- “and you got down in front of me and started going down on me. It was so hot Hyuk, rea-” He couldn’t say anymore because Eunhyuk, blushing scarlet, slapped his hand on Donghae’s loud mouth, trying not to notice all the curious eyes on them.

Well, Donghae had just outed them as an ex-couple. It was lucky they only had fifteen minutes of the plane journey left, because he needed to go hide. Now. Right now. He could feel Donghae’s friend, Siwon, was it?, staring through the seats at him, a confused look on his face, and he could hear the higher-pitched voice of the smaller one, Ryeowook, or whatever it was, sniggering.

He still had his hand on Donghae’s mouth, and he wasn’t going to move it until they got off, because God knows what else he’d say. He was drunk; this all meant nothing, it just meant that they would have to admit to a previous relationship. So he kept his hand clamped still.

Donghae wasn’t happy with that, his tongue flicking out to Hyukjae’s hand. Hyukjae moved his hand quickly, staring at him in disgust. “What the hell?” Donghae’s mumbled answer was lost as the pilot’s voice came over the speakers, telling them to get their seatbelts on in preparation for landing.

Soon, they were touching down, and in the rush to get off, Hyukjae scrambled ahead, not quite sure how to deal with Donghae. Leeteuk watched the taller man stride away, his hand messing up his dark hair as he tugged at his tipsy friend.

“What am I going to do with you?” He muttered, as they walked out into the airport, Donghae stumbling a little.

Well, they were here in America, but it didn’t seem like Hae had left his problems behind.