Donghae’s first view of America was not something special. Actually, it was just the inside of the airport terminal as he was tugged over to the baggage area by Leeteuk, who whistled piercingly. Donghae, still a little drunk, glared at Leeteuk, stuffing his fingers in his ears. “Yah, Teukie-hyung, what was the point of that?” Leeteuk turned to him, one brow raised.

“I need to get everyone together, of course.” He shrugged, folding his arms as people slowly trickled over to them. Siwon was rubbing his eyes tiredly, and Wookie was holding hands with Henry, consoling him over the drawings (which he’d done nothing to stop) on his face, as Yesung talked to Ae Cha, the navigator.  Donghae rolled his eyes, and turned away. He couldn’t see Hyukjae anywhere, and in the back of his mind, it had registered that he’d said something rather stupid, but it would take a few more hours for it to sink in. He was still a little tipsy, so all he could really focus on was that he wanted his Hyukkie to appear. Being childlike was one of the features of drunk Donghae, and Leeteuk sighed, pushing him gently in the direction of the luggage, wondering why Hae was like this.

Donghae folded his arms, staring blankly as the cases slowly trundled down the carousel. He’d never thought that he’d feel so miserable on a trip to somewhere he’d really wanted to go, and when he had such an important job. But then, it wasn’t as if he was here for fun. He flinched slightly as Hyukjae appeared, a murderous look on his face as he stalked up next to Donghae, grabbing his case and slamming it down with such force, Donghae could feel it through his body.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” Hyukjae hissed. “Thought you could have a bit of fun, embarrass me by revealing what we used to do?” He was seething, angry, and Donghae just stood there, that blank look on his face, no reaction. It only infuriated him more. “ you Donghae. you. Really, I thought you were more mature than that.“ He spat, ready to leave.

Donghae’s expression didn’t change as he said: “ me? you right back, Hyukjae. Or Eunhyuk. Whatever idiotic name you’re calling yourself.”  He rolled his eyes, and, just because he knew it would piss Hyukjae off, walked away in the middle of the conversation.  

“Don’t you dare do that stupid avoidance tactic, Lee Donghae.” Hyukjae made a sound of disgust. “It’s what you always do when you know you’ve done something horrible.” He’d done it the night he’d left. Hyukjae could still remember the silence. It had been the silence that had killed him. He’d been with Donghae so long, he wasn’t used to hearing the quiet. But this was always the way Donghae dealt with situations he didn’t like. He screamed abuse, then just left abruptly.

Hyukjae had always thought it stemmed from the moment when he knew he’d lost his father, and the image of the tearful Donghae clinging to his eleven year old self had been one of the painful memories he knew he’d never forget, and well, one of the reasons he thought they would never break apart.

Donghae turned back, the expression on his face inscrutable. “What else is there to say, Eunhyuk-sshi?” The more formal way of addressing Hyukjae stuck in his throat a little, but it was a way of keeping a distance from the simmering anger in Hyukjae’s eyes. It meant that the anger was from a different person, almost.

Hyukjae blinked when he heard his other name slip so easily out of Donghae’s mouth. He didn’t like it, didn’t like this rapid denial of a previous relationship when Donghae had just revealed it to every single one of their co-workers and an assortment of complete strangers. He hated it. Hated the fact that they were both bristling with anger and almost two metres apart. Why couldn’t they have stayed friends, at the very least? Why did it have to be so fraught with all this goddamned tension? “Don’t call me that.” He muttered.  Donghae shrugged. “Why did you have to say it?” Hyukjae swallowed, looking at him so intently, desperate to know why.

And because he was drunk, and more than a little heartbroken, Donghae responded with the lyrics of a song. Not the best response, nor the most intelligent, and probably one of the more stupid ideas he’d had, but at that moment, stood in the middle of the bustling airport, with his fuzzy head, it felt like the best thing he could say. “Because you’re my heart-heartbreaker.” He sang, eyes resting on Hyukjae’s before he walked away again.

This time, Hyukjae let him go, nonplussed and a little hurt. He had no idea what Hae meant by that little rendition of a song they’d both liked,  so he attributed it to Donghae’s drunk status. He didn’t understand why this was killing him, and quite frankly, he didn’t want to.  He didn’t want to know why Donghae’s fluctuating attitude was affecting him, didn’t want to look too deep into that for fear he’d find something he didn’t want to think about.

What he really wanted, he decided, was Sungmin. He wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else, with his boyfriend, talking about something inane and normal, perhaps the latest drama that Sungmin had secretly gotten addicted too, pretending that this mess with Donghae didn’t exist. He would never go as far as wanting to pretend that Donghae himself didn’t exist but at this point, he was mad enough to say something really stupid. So he left it, left Donghae with his confusing song lyrics and blank eyes.

Siwon had noticed the terse little interchange between Donghae and Eunhyuk. He said nothing, though, knowing it wasn’t his place to interfere, and instead quietly sliding in between Eunhyuk and the machine, tugging his case down. He saw Donghae’s too, and knowing he probably wouldn’t remember it, he tugged it down too. It was a bit hard, pulling them both along, but he could tell by the look on his face that his hyung wasn’t going help himself, and Siwon couldn’t just leave him like that.

He walked over to where Donghae stood, hands clenched as Leeteuk counted heads. He tapped his shoulder. “Hyung.” He said indicating the black case that belonged to Donghae. Donghae turned, and blinked up at Siwon.

“Thanks.” He told him. His fingers wound around the handles, clenching on them, instead of clamping them together in a fist.

Siwon knew something was up, and it was something important, and while he wasn’t going to say he wasn’t curious (because he really was), he knew he should leave it. So he just prodded him in Leeteuk’s direction.

“!” Leeteuk cursed loudly. Everyone stared over at him. “Okay guys.” He told them, putting his phone away.  “So the hotel we’re in, just for tonight, has ed up utterly. We’ve only got about half the rooms we need, so we’re all going to have to share and share again.” His gaze travelled to all of them, even Hyukjae, who stood a little apart from them.  “I’m sorry, I really am, but unless one of us is really good at schmoozing hotel people, we’re screwed. And seeing as we’ve only got about two people here with English that’s above serviceable, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”  He glanced at Henry and Siwon, the two whose English he was referring too. Siwon’s mouth quirked up in a half grin and Henry just continued to try and scrub the pen off his face with a wet wipe that Ae Cha had so graciously provided, Ryeowook and Yesung refusing to look at each other.

Leeteuk pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed out slowly. “So we’ll just acquire some taxis and drive over there to sort out this mess. I suggest you guys get into groups for sharing.  We’ll most likely have to share the freaking beds as well…” He shook his head, cursing softly again. It was his big break, and yet something had to up.

It didn’t take long, once they’d figured out where the taxi service was, Henry’s fluent English a huge help, and Siwon’s hesitant English got him on the good side of the woman at the help desk because she thought he was cute. They piled into four separate ones, Donghae accidentally finding himself in the same one that Hyukjae was in. He gave him the cold shoulder, and ignored him for Siwon, trying to quickly brush up on the little English he had. It was hard not to remember back to the schooldays when he’d spent hours in Hyukjae’s bedroom learning it for class the next day.

The hotel was a large, modern affair, with sleek lifts and large beds. When he got into his assigned room, he lay spread-eagle across it, claiming it as his, before Siwon shoved him over and told him to shut up because it was his too. “And if you talk in your sleep again, Hae, I swear I’m pushing you off the bed.”  Donghae cracked an eye open at this threat.

“You would not do that.” He said, sounding too sure of himself.

“And why not?” Siwon asked tiredly, watching as Wookie got the staff to manoeuvre another bed into the room, next to the bed next to theirs, because Yesung and Henry refused to sleep in the same bed.

“Because I have ninja powers.” Donghae told him, straight-faced.

Siwon stuck his tongue out at him and pushed him off the bed in response. Donghae, crumpled on the floor, legs askew, glared up at Siwon. He still wasn’t completely sober. This fact suddenly occurred to Siwon, and he held a hand out. “Sorry, hyung. But maybe you should sleep.”

“Maybe I should.” Donghae nodded half-heartedly, giving an unexpected yawn. It prompted him to snuggle down under the covers, still fully clothed, as Wookie’s extra bed was finally pushed into place. He fell asleep quickly, luckily before the argument about who was sleeping in the extra bed broke out between Henry and Yesung.

What he woke up to was (yet another) hangover, and the sensation of his bed rocking up and down as a very excited Wookie bounced happily. He could only stare at him groggily as he tried to make sense of the smiling blur.

“Hyung!” Wookie squealed happily. “It’s time for site-seeing!” Donghae groaned, trying to shove his head into the pillow.

“Wookie, why?” He said, voice muffled by the pillow. “It’s too early and my head hurts. Go back to bed.”

“B-but it’s eight o’clock already! If we don’t go early, we might not see everything!” Wookie gave a heartbroken little pout that Donghae didn’t see, still shoved into the pillow. Wookie’s finger prodded him as he bounced once more. “Come on~ Everyone else is up! Siwon’s even getting breakfast! “

“Wookie, I need sleep. Why are you like this?” Donghae ‘s deadpan voice did nothing to dampen Wookie’s enthusiasm.

“Please!” Wookie began to plead, his prodding and bouncing making it impossible to ignore him, no matter how hard Donghae tried.

“Ugh! Let me get up…” Donghae gave in. He knew there was just no reasoning with a hyperactive early-morning Ryeowook.