Hyukjae cursed softly. He wasn’t the type to get into loud arguments, not in public places. It wasn’t him, and trust Donghae to be the one who brought that out in him. He swallowed back the blocked feeling in his throat, trying to tell himself that it was only the fact that he didn’t like arguing, and that he was alone that was causing the horrible feeling. He cried rather easily; he knew that and he guessed it was lucky he hadn’t started to cry in front of Donghae. That would have hurt more, he thought.

He knew that Donghae cried easily too, but this was different. Donghae was the one who’d instigated their split; he shouldn’t be the one crying. So why was he getting all these mixed messages? He had tried to ignore it, the sinking feeling that there was a little more to Donghae’s attitude, but he was just so confused. He hated it. He couldn’t stand the mixed up twist of feelings. He wanted to do his job, he wanted to enjoy the feeling of being in a foreign country, and he wanted to try and make friends with his new co-workers, but it felt like Donghae was blocking this from happening.

He couldn’t blame Hae entirely; after all, he was allowing him to have this effect on him, but it was frustrating, the sense of being alone, and the other, more uneasy sense that Donghae was keeping something from him. He had always known him so well; he was his, well, had been, his best friend. He couldn’t pretend he knew nothing about Donghae and his mannerisms, because that was a lie, and he didn’t like to lie. But he couldn’t deny how much it had hurt to see Donghae walk away in the arms of his friends.

It was painful because it suggested he was the one in the wrong. Okay, so maybe he had been overly mean, maybe he had pushed too far, but Donghae was so… He couldn’t even verbalise it. Because honestly, this. Really. it all. He was this close to storming back up to Donghae and screaming…something. He was just pissed, so tired of Donghae always mixing everything up, of the conflicting anger and hurt. And on top of that, he didn’t even know why he was feeling like this. He thought he had gotten over it. He thought Sungmin had…made it not relevant.

But no…here he was, stuck, alone. He shrugged to himself. It was only three weeks. Three weeks was not a long period of time when you thought about it, and he’d find other people. He made friends easily. Perhaps they should even do as Donghae suggested and split in two groups. He didn’t want to, though. That would encourage rivalry, or something. He’d rather they stayed together, and if Donghae didn’t want that…well, they’d have to talk about it. Hopefully talking wouldn’t escalate into arguing again, although he didn’t know.

He wished, once again, that he wasn’t alone. He wanted someone to distract him, but there was no one. The street had emptied, and although the shops weren’t empty, he wasn’t in the mood to go shopping anymore. He wanted someone he knew wouldn’t ask about Donghae, someone who wouldn’t give him accusing eyes. He could try and see if anyone was back at the hotel, but he knew they were all likely to ask about what Donghae had said on the plane, and really, thinking about ual exploits with his ex-boyfriend who he’d just had a fight with was not what he was looking for.

But there was no one.

His phone would have to suffice. He’d think about the ridiculous cost later, if he ended up talking too long. His iPhone, one of his most prized possessions was tucked into his pocket, and he pulled it out, smiling a little at the wallpaper,  a picture of the dog he shared with Sungmin. He wondered why his wallpaper wasn’t one of Sungmin himself. When he’d been with Donghae, his wallpaper had always been one of them together. He pushed that thought down. So what? His relationship with Donghae had been quite different.

Perhaps Sungmin was the one to call. Apart from the fact that he was, of course, his boyfriend, Sungmin had such a sweet, friendly and calm sort of atmosphere, it was hard not to relax while talking to him. Nothing much ruffled Sungmin, and he always had time for everyone and anyone. He was lucky to have him, he knew.

He unlocked the phone, scrolling down to contacts, hesitating, finger pausing above Sungmin’s name. He was overreacting, wasn’t he? But really, he wanted the calming voice of his boyfriend, someone he knew cared about him and wouldn’t argue with him for the sake of it. Sungmin wouldn’t ask about Donghae because all he knew was that he was a co-worker over here. He also knew that Sungmin trusted him.

Not that there was a reason to worry he would cheat.

He sighed, and pressed call, sliding the phone up to his ear, and looking away, hoping Sungmin would answer quickly. He didn’t want to be kept waiting.

He was lucky. Sungmin answered on the second ring. “Hyuk?” He asked, sounding mildly surprised. “Is that you?”

Hyukjae coughed to clear his throat. “Uh, yeah. I’m not bothering you, am I?” Sungmin chuckled a little.

“Why would you be bothering me?” He chuckled lightly. “Either way, I’m free. I just finished a class. They’re actually starting to be able to play the guitar now…it’s nice.” Hyukjae nodded, then realised Sungmin couldn’t see that response.

“That’s good.” He replied lamely. If he had been feeling a little better, he would have asked more, like how the class went, whether Sungmin thought they were a talented musician, if he was thinking of performing anywhere. That was how he’d met him, when Sungmin was playing the guitar for a band for the band that supported the one he’d come to see at a concert. When not playing rockstar, Sungmin had the pretty regular life of a guitar teacher.

“Yeah.” Sungmin said cheerfully. “I think I like this kid. He picks up everything quickly.” Hyukjae smiled a little. “And Daehyun keeps bugging me to play for them tonight…and seeing as you’re not here, I think I will.”

“I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you play.” Hyukjae said, a pang of guilt flashing through him. He wasn’t sure if it was just about missing him play, or what had happened with Donghae. He felt he’d done something slightly wrong, with the argument, and the way he had felt. He suddenly wanted to be home, teasing Sungmin about being a rocker, watching him roll his eyes in response. He wanted to be sat at their kitchen table, watching Sungmin strum his guitar thoughtfully as he composed something new, the dog curled up next to him as Hyukjae planned where he was going to go for the week.

He wanted that mundane life, the fresh routine he’d carved out for himself with the absence of Donghae. It had had him convinced he was over the man. But now, stuck in a different country, with no Sungmin for stability and support, he felt like a lost little boy.

Sungmin answered. “Hey, you’re all the way in America. It’s like a dream come true for you. Why would I begrudge you that? It’s one performance…and you’ve seen me play before, they’ll be other times.” They’ll be other times… Why did that phrase bring a lump to his throat?

“Of course.” He coughed again, trying to unblock his throat once more. “But I like watching you play. It’s y.” He tried to laugh, to bring it back to the lighter, happier conversation.

“Hyuk, if you are referring to the black eyeliner Hyunshik makes me wear, I swear, I will punch you when you get back.” He could almost see the judging look that statement had elicited from Sungmin.

“I’m not allowed to find it y?” He snorted, trying to push the image of Donghae with eyeliner on. Sungmin looked better, he told himself. Even if he was just joking around.

“No.” Sungmin said bluntly. “I look like a girl.”

Hyukjae snorted with laughter again. “I assure you, you look nothing like a girl. You look more like one with all the pink you insist on wearing.”

“Yah!” Sungmin said. “I told you, pink is a manly colour.”

“Yeah, try telling that to my two year old niece.” He told him. “She loves pink.”

Sungmin scoffed. “Soomin agrees with me.”

“Soomin is a child.” Hyukjae countered. “What she thinks can’t be helpful to your case because she can barely talk.”

He could almost feel the intense glare Sungmin was aiming at him, too. “I am right. I will always be right.” Sungmin insisted.

“No. I will.” Eunhyuk refused to give in. It was one of their more regular conversations. He heard Sungmin sigh.

“. I’ve gotta go, Hyuk. I’m sorry. I’ll call you later?” He sounded apologetic. “I miss you, ‘kay?”

“Y-yeah.” Hyukjae replied. “Miss you too.” He did. He really did. Why did it feel wrong? What was up with him?

“Love you.” Sungmin said, laughing a little. “Okay, okay!” He said to whoever was trying to get him off the phone. “Okay, really gotta go. Bye!”

“Yeah. Bye…” The call ended, and once again, he was left alone. He ran a hand through his hair. At least Sungmin had made him feel better. It was nice to joke with him again. It reminded him he still had a life to come back to at home. This state of confusion he was blaming Donghae for was only temporary.

His mood lifted, he decided he could shop now. His nephew’s birthday gifts would distract him for an hour or so.

Elsewhere, in Donghae’s hotel room, Wookie was attempting to convince Henry to translate a film for him. Donghae watched, mildly amused as Wookie bounced in Henry’s lap, shoving the DVD case in his face, whining about how it didn’t have Korean subtitles and how he’d always wanted to see it. Yesung sulked in the corner, watching with jealousy as Wookie leaned and whispered in Henry’s ear. Whatever it was, Henry liked it, because a faint blush crept across his cheeks and he grabbed the DVD.

“Fine.” He muttered. Wookie grinned happily, and snatched the DVD back to put it into the DVD player.

“Thank you, Henry~” He sing-songed, Henry’s smile getting bigger.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He shook his head as Wookie bounced back onto his lap with the remote control.

Donghae blinked a little. He wondered what Wookie had said to get Henry to agree. On second thought, he reckoned he already knew. He couldn’t help but call Wookie a silently. He knew Wookie could feel his silent condemnation, because he turned around and winked at his hyung, before smiling widely. “We should raid the mini-bar.”

Yesung sat up, looking interested, obviously thinking that Wookie might be a little more receptive to him if there was alcohol involved. Donghae didn’t doubt it. Alcohol, he knew, as everyone knew, lowered Ryeowook’s already non-existent inhibitions. He decided he wouldn’t join. He wasn’t going to risk getting drunk again, because god knew what he would get up to with this lot around in a hotel room. He shook his head at Wookie, who pouted.

“Ah, hyung, you’re no fun.” He blinked at the others. “Henry? Yesung? Siwon?” The first two shrugged and nodded. Siwon shook his head like Donghae.

“Uh…no.” He looked furtive. “If you are getting drunk, I am out of here.” Siwon chuckled as Wookie’s pout focused on him. “Nuh-uh, Wook. You’ll make me do something I don’t want to do…or something.” He said awkwardly. “I’m off.” Donghae wondered if their earlier teasing had been a little too much for Siwon. He felt a little guilty as he saw his friend slip out of the door.

Yesung smirked. “If we’re raiding the mini-bar, maybe we should order room service.” Donghae laughed. He liked that idea.

Siwon wandered out of the hotel room, down to the stairs, which he climbed down, thinking. He didn’t really feel like walking around the town alone, so he could stay in the hotel restaurant, and wait until a later hour to creep back into the room and avoid his drunken friends. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, it was more he didn’t like the groping that ensued when they were drunk.

The restaurant was warm when he walked in, and he found a table quite easily, the waiter spotting him as he sat down. He ordered the first thing on the menu that he thought he could pronounce reasonably fluently, and the waiter smiled, and nodded. The previous occupant of the table had left a newspaper on the chair next to him, so he picked it up, glad of the distraction. It was in English, obviously, but he could plod through it, he thought. It didn’t take long for the food to arrive, and he laid the newspaper down to eat, wishing someone else would come in. He was a sociable person; he didn’t like to eat alone. That was why, when Hyukjae walked in, a wary look on his face, he called him over.

“Eunhyuk-shii.” He said, just loud enough for him to hear, as he gestured to his table. Eunhyuk’s eyebrows furrowed. He recognised the younger man as one of Donghae’s friends, one of the ones who’d walked off with him. Why was he calling him over? He walked to him anyway, curious.

“That’s me.” He told him.

Siwon smiled. “Choi Siwon.” He held out a hand to shake. He had decided to befriend the man. He knew there was obviously something strange between him and Donghae, and while he didn’t want to piss Hae off, he didn’t want to leave this Eunhyuk alone. Siwon was friendly by nature, and when someone looked alone, he liked to make sure they had someone. It was a character trait he couldn’t ignore.

Hyukjae shook his hand. Siwon gestured for him to sit down. “Seeing as we’re working together, we might as well stick together.” Hyukjae nodded slowly, and Siwon gave another small smile. “I’m not trying to get at anything.” He said honestly. “I just figured I might as well get to know you.”

Hyukjae thought about it. It was kind of the man. He should accept this and sit down. So he did. “Thank you.” He said. He meant it. He was glad someone had extended the offer of friendship without asking about Donghae. He wasn’t ready for that yet.