It’s been a long time since I needed to share something with you Diary-nim… I’m sorry for neglecting you but besides my heart messing with me I lived very happily being with Sica.

I’ll update you about my heart condition since I kind of felt guilty for neglecting you.

I’ve been a good kid and have been going for my regular check up. The doctor suggested that I took some vitamins and supplements to keep healthy and there is nothing further that they can do but to keep track of my condition. My name is still in the list for a heart donor and until today there is no luck. I’ve made friends with the doctor and nurses in the hospital and it doesn’t feel like a hospital anymore. It’s just like visiting my friends who are working in the hospital.

I’ve fainted once again in the past year but it’s nothing big. At least I don’t think it is. I don’t like to think it is.

Now since I’ve feed your curiosity Diary-nim, now isn’t it your turn to help me out here? Keke…

It’s about Sica. She is a stubborn girl! Yes she is!

She got a full scholarship offer from the top art and design university in the country and she doesn’t want to go! Her reason? She said it’s too far. *sigh* and we’ve argued because of it.

I don’t want to be the reason she is missing out such a good opportunity. She said her life doesn’t revolves around me. Although it hurts me a bit… okay a lot… but I hope it’s true too. As much as I hate it… eventually… I won’t be around anymore. Why not take this opportunity to slowly exit from her life so that she wouldn’t be so sad later on when I’m gone.

But… I was being selfish… I could have done it anytime but I didn’t. I want her all to myself. I watch in dramas and movies that they say if you really love someone, you’re willing to let them go. I’m really trying to do so… but I hated every single word that I said pushing her away from me to accept the scholarship…

Now, I’m still trying to do so… We haven’t contacted each other for 5 days… 6 days now to be exact. We haven’t been apart from each other for this long before… and it’s like I’ve been deprived of air for 6 days that it’s impossible to still be alive. I didn’t contact her to let her know how serious I was in wanting her to accept the offer. I hope she gets it because I couldn’t bear it any longer. My lungs are in serious need of air. I’m in dire need of her. Jessica Jung So