My first night dinner with Chaerin family. Mama Lin said she has cooked a special dinner for us since this is our first night having a dinner together. Well..its not that special tho. She cooked a Galbijim. A pork that cooked with some garlic and pepper without sesame oil since its kinda hard to find it here. Normally Southern eating a Galbijim during Chuseok along with Taro Soup.   "Sis,why wont u eat?" Harin voice awake me maybe she's realize that I'm just staring blankly to the dishes that been prepare on  the small table. 4 small bowls filled with rice,a Galbijim and a salted fish with lemon. Just that.   Chaerin take a sit next to me looking at me weirdly,maybe waiting for my answer as well. Then Mama Lin join the table. I show them my bitter smile.   "I'm sorry. I just dont like pork." I said honestly. Yeah. I didnt eat pork,I'm not to into pork. I prefer lamb, beef and chicken. I'm just too used with western foods.   Harin and Mama Lin look disappointed but they decide to start eating. While Chaerin she didnt giving any response,she just eat like a hungry lion and me... I'm just eating a half of plain rice the rest I give it to Chaerin.   "Mom cooked this special for u Sis but we didnt know that u dont like pork. Actually we rarely cook this food. We always eat porridge with potatoes and sometimes fish. Its hard to get meat here. This pork is given by Father Joo. He said this is the only meat he has and he ask Mom to cooked it for u. He just afraid...."   "Stop it Harin. Just eat." Chaerin interrupt suddenly making Harin completely silent. This situation even make me more guilty. But what can I do? I cant force myself to eat the things that I dont want.   Mama Lin smiled to me although a disappointment is shown on her face. "Nevermind Harin. We cant force her. What did u want to eat Park? I will ask Chaerin to buy it at Pyongyang tomorrow."   I shooked my head quickly. "No. No. Nevermind Mama Lin. Dont mind about me. I just dont want to burden all of u." Chaerin getting up from the table and walking out. She's mad I can tell that but she can't express her anger in front of her Mom.   After done with dinner, I walk towards the river alone. Trying to calm my guilty heart. I took a deep breath while wrapping my body with my favorite cardigan. Being standing at the foreigner place like this makes me feel calm and peace until suddenly a voice behind me giving a war inside me.   "U know what u just hurt my Mom."   I look at her fierce face for a second before leaning my sight to the river again. Watching the villager bathing and washing in the river is better than I stain my eyes to look at her.   "It was not my intention I'm just telling the truth. I just cant force myself to eat something that I dont like it!" I try to control my voice. She is blaming me. I know it.   "I dont care Dara! No matter what, u have no other choice. U will eat what we eat. But if u still stubborn I wont care if u are dying of hunger!"   "I only eat what I want to eat. Full stop!"   Chaerin walking to my front and staring to me but I'm still glued my eyes towards the villagers at the river.   "We standing on the same ground Dara. Look at ur face... its so sarcastic and pathetic. Ur face... seems like my Mom and my sister serving u a ! U dont even grateful on their efforts,my mom, my sis and Father Joo,they are trying to make u feel comfortable here but u didnt appreciate them on ur first day here! Even its just a pork, its still something that we hard to get here, in this pathetic place! Did u see a 5 stars restaurant on ur way here,for us to serve u a steak and whatever that u always eat at Seoul?!" She's yelling making some of the villagers looking at us.   This time I cant avoid her sharp stare. "Lee Chaerin, u are just my bodyguard! U dont have a right to yelling and correcting me! Dad has promised me that when I'm here I will stay at the mansions complete with the maids but what I got right now is opposite! With very poor services. With all these poor people. What do u expect from me?"   "Are u insulting us? Dont u read the news before u come here? Where did u put ur brain? At ur knee or at u stupid talkative mouth? I was told, u came here to complete the mission that ur Dad give to u. Listening and witnessing to our true condition here. If u want to understand the suffering that we've been through u have to live with us,get along with us,eat, sleep and bath in our way!"   I chuckled with my sarcastic way. "Lee Chaerin, let me remind u once again. U are just my BODYGUARD! U dont have a right to control me! U dont have a right to judging on what I'm gonna do, what I want to eat, what I want to wear, what I want to think even what I want to say..its all up on me! U just a stupid bodyguard that I paid and u dont have a right to criticize me!"   "Clear up! Being paid by ur Dad and sorry to disappointed u again. U're mine!"   I lift my head quickly,staring at her arrogant face!    "Once ur Dada entrusted me to taking care of u, automatically u are mine! Every of ur movement here, I'm watching it! For ur own good! For ur own sake!"   Once again I took my deep breath,just to calm myself. Then I touch her fierce face with my forefinger while giving her my seductive smile. I run my finger slowly on her cheek,to her nose then stop at her hot lips, caressing her dry lips gently.   "I'm glad if u do as what my Dad asked u to do. Why dont we added few things here? Let say, starting from today, u bath me, hugging me while I'm sleeping and oh...helping me to wear my lingerie and when I'm tired massage my body. Every inch of it dont left anything behind. Will u?" I whisper seductively,didnt minding about the villagers looking at us since our body is just a inch away. My nose almost crashing to her. If people could see this situation from a far they might misundertood us that we kissing.   I could see Chaerin gulped through but then she grab my hand that touching her lips roughly and push my body away from her.   "Nevermind Dara. Since today is ur first time here. I let u go. But starting tomorrow, dont think that u can do anything without my permission, dont think that u can move even a inch without me by ur side! Once ur Dad said I had to taking care of u as I'm taking care of myself, I take it seriously and will always do! Its not a joke at all!"   "I'm not a stupid person Chaerin. I'm not a stupid puppy that u can control!"   "I'll take it as a challenge. Whether u like it or not, puppy is more easier to taking care of instead of taking care a bloody fool girl like u! So, u'd better give ur full cooperation or else I'll make ur days look like a nightmare!" Then she walk away when Harin calling her name.   I'm still stood at my spot with my pissed face. U want to make my days as a nightmare? Let see y... who's days gonna be in nightmare! I'll make ur life in chaos Lee Chaerin! Just wait!

 

And late that night,we arguing again to each other. I didnt expect that I'm gonna sharing this small room with Chaerin while Harin and Mama Lin sleeping at the living room, the bad thing is we had to share one blanket and the pillow since actually this is Chaerin room.   I felt uncomfortable making me cant even close my eyes to sleep. I move my body to the right side facing my back to Chaerin and close my eyes. After 10 minutes I'm still uncomfortable, then I shift my body to the left side facing Chaerin back,trying to close my eyes and I still feeling uncomfortable. I keep moving and moving.   "Stop moving and sleep!" Chaerin whisper firmly. I dont even realize that she already facing her face to me. By the help of a light that comes from the oil lamps since they didnt have a electric current here ,