Silence fell amongst the camp as the Warden's rested. The two Dalish had volunteered to take up first watch, Kai posted herself at the entrance to the camp while Keo took up center. Lyonna was too exhausted to even try and Himchan wouldn't allow it anyway. Unlike Keo, Kai was used to guard duty as she often took shifts with the scouts in watching the entrance to the Wilds. Even though she was a hunter and it wasn't her duty she always found herself swapping with a fellow elf who needed rest more than she did. Kai was known to be an insomniac and when she did sleep even the slightest thing woke her so by now she was well adjusted and best suited for guarding the camp. Keo on the other hand was the opposite. When she slept it was almost impossible to wake her up before her body would naturally, but given the events, sleep was out of the question for her. She knew if she shut her eyes she'd see her fallen kin. Everything that had been tossed at them so far she could take but this was too much. She knew Kai was feeling the same pain in her chest and the same hatred but when it came down to it her sibling was stronger than she ever could be. Even if she'd been to hell and back, Kai would still stand up tall and continue. She always moved forward. She knew Kai was just as scared as she was, just as broken, yet as usual she endured and refused to let it falter her.

 

Yongguk had woken after two hours of uninterrupted sleep, irregular for a Warden. He wasn't use to being able to sleep so long, normally he took up more shifts so the younger ones could sleep. When he sat up he noticed the two elves still watching over the camp. This brought a frown to his lips, they were almost frightening to watch even to him and he'd seen more than a man his age ever should have. Everything they had cherished had been taken from them and instead of grieving like they should be doing they remained firm in their watch. He only saw them move if a noise caught their attention somewhere off in the darkness and half the time he couldn't even hear anything. He knew Dalish elves were tough but this was beyond what he imagined. The Berserker got up and rolled up his bed roll before moving over to relieve the two of their duty yet when he approached they remained stoic. No matter what he said to either of them, they refused to rest. Shaking his head Yongguk trudged over to where Himchan slept and gave his fellow Warden a tap with his foot to wake him up.

 

With a grumble Himchan turned to look over his shoulder at the assaulter. “Ah, Guk. I knew you couldn't resist me for much longer.” He joked sleepily as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes.

 

“Yeah, I woke you up to ravish you.” Yongguk joked in response with an eye roll. Himchan was always like that. Amongst the group he was known as the mother for his effeminate nature and since Yongguk was more manly, he was apparently the father. This was why they joked around like a couple and would occasionally have bickers which made them look like more than best friends. It was inevitable. “Seriously though, get up. The Dalish won't sleep. We need to convince them to let us take over.”

 

Himchan's grin faded at the mention of the elves, he'd noticed a shift in both of their behaviour. It made sense since they were going through heartache but what they were doing wasn't healthy. He gave the brunette a nod and got to his feet. After fixing his bedroll Himchan walked over to the elves with Yongguk and gathered the two together by the fire. A mothers work was never done, even among the Warden's.

 

“Okay, Guk tells me you two are refusing to sleep.” Himchan raised his brows at the two as he crossed his arms, staring down at them with disapproval. “You do realize that isn't healthy, right? You need to rest.”

 

Kai and Keo glanced at each other, both getting that feeling that they were getting into trouble by a parental figure. Since Keo remained silent Kai looked up to Himchan and flashed him a lopsided smile. “Relax, Channie. It's not like we're refusing completely to sleep.. “ Her smile faded slowly into a frown. “Besides it's kinda hard to sleep when your entirely clan has only recently been slaughtered. We'll sleep when we can but for now it's a bit difficult.”

 

Yongguk winced a little and took a seat on one of the logs near the two. “We know... We just don't want you to burn yourselves out..” The Grey Warden side of him was quick to replace the caring father vibe they were receiving however. “The darkspawn are evil and dark creatures. What they did to your clan pales in comparison to what they're planning for everyone else. We need you at your strongest.”

 

Himchan placed his hand on his leaders shoulder, brows furrowing. “Yah..Guk.. That's a bit..”

 

“No, he's right.” Keo interrupted, glaring at Yongguk. “You guys do need us at our strongest. We'll forget that they ripped apart everyone we cared about, brush off that they insulted us by making our elders flee and took the young, we'll forget those corpses and the heads of those we grew up with staring back at us on pikes. We'll push back the grief so it won't inconvenience you, almighty Warden's.”

 

Himchan scowled at the mage, pushing Yongguk back down onto the log as he tried to raise in his own defence. “We understand that you're in pain but don't take it out on us. Stop acting like a child and do not twist my brothers words, elf. He's only saying the truth, the darkspawn are a threat to all of Thedas not just the Dalish elves. Losing your clan must be tough but at the end of the day.. They're gone.”

 

At this point Kai had to grab onto Keo as she almost launched herself towards the dark haired warrior. Kai would have said something to defend her sibling but Keo was already yelling at Himchan so she just held onto her as she occasionally tried to jerk herself free to get at the Reaver. “Tough!? You son of a , don't you ing dare speak about them like that!” Keo snapped, tears forming in her eyes out of anger and memory of the dead. “You can't expect us to just walk it off and carry on like it's just another ing day!” Her shouting had woken up majority of the camp who only seemed to watch as Kai held onto Keo tightly, able to feel the mage trembling with anger. “Our clan was our family, want to know why we aren't quite on top of everything as we usually are, Himchan? We're breaking! You can be damn sure we'll heal and hunt those monsters down for you but for creator's sake you haven't even given us a day to properly grieve! We get that you're on an import mission. We get how dangerous the darkspawn are. But back the off!”

 

It was clear Kai had enough as a slow sigh came from her, she was obviously pissed off now. Jongup had noticed the grim expression on Kai's face so approached to take Keo from her and lead her off to cool down, leaving Kai in front of the two elder Grey Warden's who were just staring at her. “I've been keeping quiet and continuing on like I normally would.” She stated simply before glaring at Himchan. “You of all people should know what it's like to lose someone. You didn't speak for quite awhile I'm told. Calling us childish for feeling is really ing hypocritical, Himchan when you yourself have gone through the grieving process. As Dalish we were brought up to be strong so when we break like Keo just did.. It's because something ing terrible happened. Like.. Oh.. I dunno... Our entire clan being slaughtered. Think about that for a moment. I know you use to be a noble and joined out of boredom so you might not grasp how painful this ing is. This isn't like our pet mabari has passed away from a sickness or old age. The pain we're feeling isn't something we can describe to someone who hasn't gone through it but just know we won't be all smiley and we will need some time to process what we've seen because do you know what we see when we close our eyes? Burnt corpses. Heads on pikes. Shredded up hunters who I use to go out hunting with. It isn't just them simply passing away, they all died in gruesome ways. We can't ever forget that.” Kai fought back every urge she had to punch the two Warden's. “Do us a favour and shut the hell up. We'll be fine, you can count on that, but we don't need shems like you telling us when to be fine.” She shot them both a death glare before storming off, the need to hit something overwhelming her.

 

Zelo approached Himchan and Yongguk who appeared to be regretting having opened their mouths and patted both their shoulders. “They'll calm down eventually and be back to themselves. When that happens you two need to apologize but for now, give them space and don't bother them.. Seriously.”

 

The fact the youngest out of all of them had to tell them this ashamed them, especially Yongguk who knew what each member had been through. They'd all been through hell apart from Himchan and himself who'd experienced losses but only due to old age. “We just wanted them to rest.” He muttered bitterly, “Somehow it turned into this mess.”

 

Himchan slumped down beside Yongguk and rubbed at his face in frustration. “That was actually... Shocking. Did you hear us? Maker's breath we sounded like asses!”

 

Daehyun shook his head and smacked Himchan's head lightly as he stepped over the log before taking a seat, “I'll say. I know you're protective over Guk but for Andrastate's sake, Channie.. “

 

Youngjae cast a small glare over at the two as he sat cross legged on the rock opposite Yongguk. “You should do something to apologize. They might not hate you as much then.”

 

The awakened all formed around the fire and began to hatch a plan of apology while the two elves tried to calm down.

 

Jongup had taken Keo away from camp as far as he could before releasing her fearful she might start blasting at everything around her. But instead of freaking out and casting enough spells to level the forest she just stood there with her hands covering her face. That was all she seemed to do lately was cry or yell. When he'd let her go she let herself drop down onto her knee's, hands placing flat on the grass with her head hanging low. “Sorry...” She mumbled to the brunette who almost jumped back a bit in surprise.

 

“Why... Are you apologizing?” He shook his head and knelt down in front of her, hands placing on her arms to sit her up. “You don't need to say sorry for going through the stages of grief, Keo.”

 

Keo stared at Jongup, her face puffy and red from all the tears. She knew she looked horrid yet he still just smiled at her. “I don't think I can do this, Jongup..” She whispered, “I'm not strong enough..”

 

Jongup frowned and took her hand to comfort her, “I won't give you an old grampa lecture telling you that you can't afford to be selfish or anything. I think Dalish deserve to be selfish sometimes. Everyone does. I don't have the answer either as I'm sure you weren't looking for one but.. Thanks. Truly, it might seem stupid to hear it but.. You're a hero.” He repeated then smiled, “Sound familiar? That's the speech you gave me when I was doubting my strength to continue fighting.” He shifted to sit beside her and leant back on one hand, the other still holding hers tightly. “You don't need to be strong enough for everything thrown your way. I know it's cheesy but I'll protect you from the things you can't defend against. I'm your shield remember? I can't defend you as much as I want to, especially against heartache but... It'll be alright. I'll be here.” He didn't tell her but for someone so small she was strong to him. Especially with everything she'd been through.

 

Keo glanced at him and bit her lower lip, feeling the lump in forming again. She squeezed his hand before releasing it and hugging him instead, tears spilling down her cheeks instantly on contact. She felt his arm go around her waist to hug back which only really made her curl into him a little, face hidden against him as she cried harder.

 

Jongup glanced down at her his smile remaining on his face. The fact she was crying meant she was finally grieving properly, something he noticed she'd been trying not to do. He pulled her onto his lap like when she had her freak out by the river and wrapped both arms around her. As a best friend it was his job to be the shoulder and now that she'd be travelling with him, he could finally tell her. He wasn't sure why he even wanted to, it would only re-open old wounds and so far the only one who knew was Yongguk but that was only because he was there. He let out a slow sigh as he pushed her forward a little so she could see him once the crying turned to sniffles. “Remember at the festival.. I had that weird moment?.. I know it's probably a bad time to tell you it but.. It's to let you know I know what you're feeling here.” He muttered, fist placing against where her heart was. “As you know I wanted to be a Blacksmith. My dad was one and he was training me. As his assistant I learnt quite a lot about blades and forging.. What I didn't I didn't tell you was I never really appreciated what it was he was teaching me. I thought I wanted to be a Templar. Imagine that.. I could have been hunting you.” He scoffed a bit before leaning back on his hands again. “Anyway, I thought I had it made.. I thought nothing would change. My mother liked the stars if you're wondering about her, she'd often take me out and tell me about the constellations. At the time I thought it was stupid..She wanted me to find a nice girl and settle down like my father. I argued with her about that.. Then my dad sent me to go into town to get some stupid metal for the sword he wanted to craft with me. I found it pointless but didn't know he was actually crafting it for me.. He was going to let me be a Templar.. So.. I got the metal and returned home, broody, bored and ignorant. Fire engulfed my house and my dad was at the forge with my mother trying to protect her from a darkspawn raid.”

 

Keo's eyes widened and her hands went over in shock. So this was how he became a Warden. This was why he'd been forced to grow up so quickly.

 

Jongup flashed her a smile to show her he was okay before continuing, “So naturally I grab the nearest sword and start killing as many darkspawn as I can while trying to reach my parents. When I finally got to them my dad was just lying there trying to hold his stomach in.. My mother had picked up the sword he had been using and was trying to protect him. She died first. I managed to kill the darkspawn around my dad and that's when he gave me his sword and said he'd always wanted me to follow my own dreams. He told me to become a Templar and that he had always been proud of me. Then he died in my arms.” He said it so simply as though it couldn't affect him any more when the truth was it always preyed on his mind. “Yongguk found me two days after. The waves kept coming and I'd long since been tainted so he conscripted me and saved me. I wanted to die with them though so put up a fight and yelled childish things at him. He just told me that I'd be insulting their name if I stayed to die. So.. I went with him because the last thing I said to my mother was that I hated her and I felt becoming a Warden would fix that.” He cleared his throat, a frown now in place of his smile. “ Now I can sit here and regret everything I didn't do right or I can stand up and fight for them. Frankly.. I'd rather give those soulless bastards something to fear than curl up in a bubble of self pity.”

 

Keo stared at him in amazement, she would never have guessed that behind his smile he'd been shouldering that. “I'm so sorry.. You shouldn't have had to go through that.” She mumbled and hugged him tightly.

 

Jongup laughed lightly and hugged back, “I did though.. And don't worry about it. It still hurts.. It always will but I've learnt to use it to my advantage rather than let it hinder me. When I fight.. It's to make sure no one goes through that. It's to make them proud because I'm protecting people.” He lifted his gaze to the stars and pointed out one of the constellations which made the elf brighten up when she saw the shape. They fell silent for awhile, simply noticing the stars for a change. Finally Jongup broke himself out of his memory of his parents and looked to her, “Himchan and Yongguk mean well.. They just..”

 

Keo dropped her gaze to meet his and moved to sit beside him, arms wrapping around her knees. “I know they never meant it the way it came out.. I also know they just want us to be healthy.. I just exploded.” She mumbled. “I'm spiteful that way..”

 

Jongup smiled and shook his head, “Again.. You're going through the stages of grief. It's natural to explode. When I first joined the Warden's I was moody and kept starting fights with Yongguk for no reason.”

 

Keo smiled at him and nodded. “You're younger than me but wiser.. Do you know how messed up this is? I'm supposed to be the one telling you it'll be alright.”

 

He flashed her a grin and gave her a little nudge. “You already did. I'm returning the favour.”

 

“You should grow a beard..” She mumbled.

 

“A big bushy one.” Jongup grinned. Only a short time had passed and the two were laughing away at the idea of him with a beard. He'd only really talk to Zelo like this, it was amazing what finding a friendship in someone could bring out. Now he had something else to fight for.