Chapter 6

Kris' POV

“Well, I guess we part way here” I silently murmured. Chanyeol looked at me and nodded. We were in front of my house already. Chanyeol was kind enough to walk me home, even though his house is on the opposite direction.

“You're the celebrity remember,” He emphasize the word celebrity, making quotation marks with his hands in the air. I chuckle. “I couldn't just leave you alone,” he laughed and shook his head “Plus it gets lonely to eat alone sometimes, I liked your company, we should go have a meal more often” He exclaimed and I felt warm inside me. Maybe having Chanyeol as a friend would be nice.

“I gotta get inside” I said and pointed at the door. Chanyeol gave me his signature smiled and nodded.

“Off you go Kris,” Chanyeol dramatically bowed and showed me the way to my door. I laughed, so did he, and I went in. “Good-night Kris”

“Good night Chanyeol” I saw the figure banished in the street.

Later that night~~

“Kris, sweetheart~” An annoying voice echoed in my room. I looked up from my book and saw the source of the voice. I growl and stood up. I just hated to see her face, plastic face to be more specific.

“What do you want Jessica?” I asked annoyed. She smirked at me and walked to my bed, getting herself comfortable. I sigh. Why did she had to sit on my bed? Isn't there a chair near the door?

“So, I was informed from my awesome aunty that you gained weight little cousin” She smiled evilly. I stall on my actions and looked at her wide eye. Why? I gulped and nodded nonetheless. As painful as it was, that was the truth. I had forgotten that for a while, being with Chanyeol made me forgot about it for the evening. I ate all that food earlier.

You fat , you ate carelessly, all that fat in the pasta and meat would end up accumulating in you stomach and .

I scolded myself mentally, how was I so stupid to accept Chanyeol's offer? It was my fault, not Chanyeol's to begin with. If I just had left right away I wouldn't had encounter Chanyeol.

“So, I brought you something, here” Her slender finger gave me a piece of paper. She had two business cards spread across her fingers. I took them and read them. Jung Sang Min? Professional trainer? Kim Sa Ra? Nutritionist? My causing was giving me contacts to lose weight. I gaped at the cards. I never really had to worry about going to a nutritionist or to contact a personal trainer, according to my mom, they were necessary when there was no hope for people.

I'm hopeless

“Let me get a look at you little cuz” Jessica's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I eyed her, casting my eyes down, feeling in front of her gaze. She walked around me, looking at me like a hawk look at its prey before eating it alive. I gulped and tensed up when she grabbed my waist. Jessica roughly pinched it and I winced, getting away from her grasp.

“Aunty was right, you're fat, no wonder she changed your wardrobe,” She smirked and leaned towards me. “Is that what I smell meat? you ate meant knowing how fat you became” Jessica gasped loudly, looking at me in disbelief. “Tell me what you ate” she order me. I looked at her and bow my head.

I guess she got annoyed. She grasp my arm and dragged me to the chair next to the door. She literally throw me in the chair. I would lie if I said I wasn't scared. Jessica gave that dark aura, the one you usually don't see unless you're her cousin.

“What. Did. You. Ate?” She asked threatening, stabbing my ribs with each word. I winced but didn't dare to look up. I was too scared to look up. Coward. My inner self laughed at me, at my pain, at my misery. “Yifan, you better tell me before I go down stairs and told Aunt Mary about it, how disappointing of you don't you think? Such a waste of space. Now tell me” She smirked, spitting her venom on everything she said.

I breathed heavily.

“one”

I gulped in fright. How could I tell her?

“Two”

I was a waste of space, I'm a disappointment.

“Thre-”

“Steamed buns, dumplings” I spit out. I felt ashamed and painfully miserable. I could feel Jessica straightening her back to stand again. I could literally see her smirk of victory.

“You seriously are hopeless Kris, fat and ugly” She laughed evilly. “I'm ashamed to call you my cousin, I would NOT recognize you as my cousin until you go back to your weight, right now you're just the ugly duck in the family, no wonder Aunt is ashamed to even face grandma.” With that, Jessica left my room.

I slid down the chair and dropped on the floor. I hug my knees and let the tears fall carelessly. Jessica was right, what am I even doing here? I'm just fat and ugly, hopeless, a waste of space. Who would have thought I would fall so low?

I let my tears fall, rocking myself back and forth. I don't know how all this got out of control. I don't understand how my life just broke into pieces, which were shoved around by me and now I can't seem to find any of 'em. Everything just dropped on a black hole, and it was all my fault.

“Dad” I whispered, pleading. I felt pathetic. He ain't coming back, he never will, after all you can't bring someone back from the death can you? I felt pain, not physical but mental, emotional pain. I was weak, hopeless. I was hopeless.

Then it hit me, I needed a way to make the pain go away. I needed food. I stood up and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and then head downstairs to the kitchen.

“Where is Henry?” I murmured to myself. There was no one it the kitchen, nor outside. I looked through the door to make sure no one was around. Once I made sure, I went to the cabinets to take whatever food there was. So proud to be rich for once. I got all the junk food that I could find – and hold – and walked back to my room.

I dropped all the food on the floor and locked my door. I sat down and stared at it. I needed this, all types of junk food seated on my floor, laughing at how pathetic I am. I would laugh at myself too, just look at me.

I laughed bitterly and started eating, not caring about anything. I needed the food, I needed to find the blame on something else. This is all the food's fault, all the fatness and salts and sugars and everything. Everything makes me fat, even the air I breath. Why is this so unfair. Just look at other models in the industry out there.

Baekhyun.

He had everything, he wasn't as tall as a giant like me, he was the cute yet handsome model that everyone is talking about, he has beautiful eyes that end up in half moons every time he smiles. He has everything, he looked good in every picture, he was just the perfect person for the photo shoot. And then there was me. The other person in the picture. I'm just there, in the background, watching, but also the most watched out of everybody in the front.

I'm disgusting, I'm hopeless, I'm fat, big. I'm useless.

~~

The hot feeling burning my throat was the worst part, but the pain felt so good.

I was sitting in the tiled restroom floor, looking for support on the wall. All the candy and junk food wraps were already in the trash bin. The lights were off and only the dim light from the moon was the source of energy. Such a failure I am. Stuffing all this fat food into my system then throwing it up. So disgusting.

I stood up and walked to the sink to wash my mouth and face. Then I looked at myself in the mirror, disgusted by the person in front of me. My own reflection was mocking me and laughing at me, just like everything else.

Why was this life so hard? When did it become so hard? how did it all started? There must have been a reason, right?

I shook my head and punch the mirror, just hard enough to crack it, but not breaking it, I can afford on damaging my body anymore. My body is everything that its left worth, and I need to take care of it.

I need to loose weight. Faster.

BTW I love Jessica, no hating her whatsoever.

Yeah happy Apli fools I guess