”I- I’m not sure,” I said stuttering as my eyes focused on his lips.

It was like my mind had two different opinions to this. One half was telling me how I probably should at least wait until I had a talk with Kris. The other one told me to give in for the temptation, to crush my craving lips against Minho’s. And frankly, it was the second one that seemed to overtrump right now. The temptation was just so big.

In that one second where I considered pulling away and do what people referred to as ‘the right thing’ and not kiss him, I suddenly felt Minho pressing his body close against mine and pulling me even closer. I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach as our bodies were pressed against each others, making it impossible for there to be any space between us. Although his body seemed to be craving for mine, I could see a hint of guilt roam his eyes.

I bet he didn’t know wether or not it would be appropriate for the situation to kiss me. We were both totally exposed to each other. He knew I wanted him and I knew he wanted me. Did this mean he had feelings for me? Before I knew it, I felt Minho’s lips travel down my chin and further down my neck. Only Kris knew this, but I had a weak spot on my neck.

I clenched my teeth into my lower lips as I felt Minho started leaving small kisses. A small moan escaped my lips which seemed to amuse Minho. He gently pushed my on my back before getting on top of me, not leaving my neck at any time. As I felt Minho’s weight on me, feeling every part of his body, I exhaled deeply.

I closed my eyes as I felt Minho leaving small love bites on my neck, making me dig my nails lightly into his back in excitement. My mind was suddenly all blank. I didn’t think. All I did was feel, and what Minho was doing made me go crazy. Both of us breathed heavily as we both craved each other. I felt both our bodies getting slightly sweaty and I had to bite my lip to keep quiet as he gently on my sensitive neck. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Nobody had made these feelings rush over me like this before. It wasn’t like this at all with... Kris! I flashed my eyes open.

“Minho,” I said in a low, breathless voice as I felt my chest getting heavier with guilt.

Minho released himself from my neck to look up at me. As he met my eyes, he quickly turned worried. He held his body up with his arms as he gazed into my eyes. I furrowed my eyes and eyebrows in confusion. Minho quickly grabbed my cheek as his eyes filled with regret.

“I am so sorry,” Minho said gazing into my eyes before sliding off me and laid down by my side again, “.. I- I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry, [YN].”

Minho’s eyes gazed into mine with as he furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. I turned to the side he was laying on, facing him.

“Minho, it's not-“

“No, [YN], I’m so sorry. You came to me for comfort and I just jump on you like that. I’m sorry! I just-“

I gently placed a finger on Minho’s lips, making him stop apologizing.

“Please don’t be sorry,” I said as I caught up with my breath, “I just... I don’t know if this is... wrong.”

Minho nodded understandingly. He pulled me into a tight hug and as I buried my head into his chest, I felt his heart pounding hard. I didn’t know why, but it made me smile a bit knowing I caused him to feel like that. 

“I’m sorry if I pressured you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with,” Minho whispered as his hand rubbed my back.

“You didn’t,” I said with a weak smile, “not at all.”

I pulled away from the hug to find Minho with a weak smile.

“I just don’t feel right doing this when I haven’t, you know, talked to Kris,” I said gazing into Minho’s beautiful eyes as he gazed back at me with an understanding yet concerned look.

“I understand,” Minho said in a serious voice, “but, [YN], maybe you should really reconsider the thought of seeing Kris again. I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”

I nodded slowly, but I knew I had to face him sooner or later. I could see in Minho’s eyes how badly he just wanted to abandon me from ever seeing him again, but I guessed he didn’t want to upset me or try to control me like Kris had done.

“Just promise me you’ll stay safe,” Minho said gazing into my eyes with a worried look.

“I promise,” I said with a weak smile, causing him to smile as well and pull me in for a cuddle.

“Thank you.” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

Our bodies had cooled again and I felt my eyelids getting heavier. I suddenly found myself really sleepy. It was probably really late by now. It wasn’t so much the thought of what would become of Kris and I, but the thought of what Minho and I now had become that troubled my mind as I laid there in his arms.

Where did all this leave us? When I thought of what Minho and I were doing just five minutes ago, goosebumps started forming on my arms and neck. I hoped Minho knew I didn’t stop it because I didn’t want to kiss him. I only did it out of guilt.

I knew Kris had been a complete jerk towards me, even more than a complete jerk, but I didn’t want to sink to his level. I was better than that, and even though hitting and kissing someone weren’t the same thing, I just didn’t want to make a bigger mess of everything. Truth was that all my feelings for Minho still were there and that my feelings towards Kris had faded. I didn’t even know it could happen that quickly, but it did.

After I got everything cleared out with Kris, I was definitely going to talk to Minho as the first thing. With that last thought I drifted into sleep as I felt Minho’s deep breaths on his chest and his arms secure around me.