(Donghae POV)

“Oh, so you’re the famous Hyukjae?”

Kill me now.

“Ne, it’s nice to meet you”

Please, don’t let this continue.

“You’re very handsome, Donghae always talks about you, you know”

Stop. Right now, just stop talking.

“Aha, thank you. And really? That’s… nice”

Please, someone take me away from here…

“Yah, Donghae, stop being rude, and talk to your friend!”

“But Umma, you were the one that-” I tried but to no avail as she cut me off.

“No back sass, now, take Hyukjae to your room and get to work on your project. I have to go to work now, but there’s snacks in the fridge and money on the counter if you kids want to order take out. Have fun” she smiled and kissed me on the forehead before heading off to work like she always did.

“Sorry about that” I mumbled as I lead the way to my room, gesturing for Hyukkie to follow me.

“Ha, it’s fine. I like your Umma, she’s really nice. She reminds me a lot of you” he said, following along after me.

As we reached my room, Hyukjae moved in front of me and entered, walking straight over to my bed and plonking himself down on the mattress as though he owned the place.

I sighed and walked over to my desk, placing myself on the chair and pulling out my laptop and some paper and a pen. Without so much as looking over my shoulder I began to write down a few notes about how to structure our presentation.

“So, what do you want me to do?” Hyukjae spoke up after a long moment of silence.

“Nothing yet. Just… I don’t know, text Sungmin or something?” I sighed, not really wanting to talk to him right now.

I didn’t want to talk to him for two reasons, the first being that my Umma had just completely embarrassed me in front of him, and the second being that he made me feel like he could actually like me back earlier today. the way he was holding me when we were on the roof was making me feel the way I knew that I shouldn’t – that I couldn’t – feel.

“I don’t want to. He’s probably busy with Kyuhyun or something” Hyukjae sighed and resorted to laying across my bed, playing with the huge Nemo plushie that he’d gotten me that day we went to the mall.

“Fine, why don’t you… um… why don’t you just go home and I’ll work on what we’re going to do tonight and then we can get started properly tomorrow” I said, turning to face him for the first time.

He now had the look of an alcoholic that had just been denied any form of alcohol, on his face. In other words, he kind of looked a little bit devastated, and it took me all of the will power I had left not to just go over to him and hug him.

“Do you really not want to be around me that much?” he asked dejectedly.

“It’s not that… It’s just…”I let out a huff of air and ran my hand through my hair frustratedly. “Alright, come here. I know what you can do”

A small smile replaced the hurt look on his face as he stood up and walked over to where I was sat. I turned back to my desk and my laptop. As I waited for it to load, I felt Hyukjae wrap his arms around my neck and rest his chin on my shoulder. I knew that I should have pushed him away, but I just couldn’t muster up the strength, so instead I just decided to not acknowledge that he was doing it. I simply logged on to my laptop and opened the internet to find the website that I told him about this morning.

“So what am I doing?” he whispered, and I had to try and ignore the warmth that ran through me as his breath hit my ear.

“You’re going to choose a person, and follow what happened to them so that we can present a case study in our presentation” I told him, trying to remain cool and collected.

“Okay, is that the website?” he asked, nodding towards the screen of my laptop.

“Ne, so take it over there and get to work” I said, unhooking his arms from around my neck and handing him my laptop.

He sighed, taking the laptop from me and proceeding over to my bed to do his part of the work.

After fifteen minutes or so, he called my name and came up with a pretty good idea.

“Along with this, why don’t we talk about ‘The man that broke into Auschwitz’? It could help with our grade, and on top of that it will add extra information about how a lot of the German soldiers at the time didn’t know the extent of what was going on in the concentration camps” he suggested.

“That’s actually a brilliant idea. Do you think we’ll be able to pull it off in only three weeks though? I mean, I want to do it justice and get across just how much the holocaust impacted everyone around the world, and how it still does today” I said, turning around in my chair to face him, taking a short break from the notes I was jotting down.

“We will, because it’s something you seem to know a lot about… Why is that by the way?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow slightly.

“My Appa was very interested in it, about uncovering the hidden truths of what happened and I guess I picked it up from him. I’ve been fascinated by it since before I can remember and it’s one of the things that I think people should be well informed about. I mean, people usually here ‘The Holocaust’ and they just shake their head and mutter a ‘never again’ without a second thought. but who is to say it won’t happen again. I mean, there were so many opportunities for Hitler to be brought down before it all got out of hand… Before… Before all those innocent people died, people knew about his plans and about what he wanted to do, even in 1938! But nobody thought to put a stop to it before he gained the power he needed to put his plans into action!” I paused and looked at Hyukjae who was in turn looking back at me with his mouth open, looking slightly shocked, “Sorry, it’s just a topic I feel really strongly about. It reminds me that sick, demented people always manage to get away with pitiful things whist those who don’t deserve any of the disgusting things that bastards like him do, always get thrown in at the deep end without so much as a stick to keep them afloat!”

“It’s fine… I just didn’t realise you felt so strongly about it. But I understand what you mean, it’s always the good people that get knocked down the most” he said quietly.

“Yeah, well anyway… We should get back to work, look into the man who broke into Auschwitz, okay?” I said. He gave me a quick nod before I turned back to my notes and continued with what I was doing.

He doesn’t like me, and I had to keep reminding myself of that, I had to keep those feelings under control, because I knew that the more I fell for him, the harder it would be for me to move on and find someone that loves me, for me and not my gender.

There are plenty of people out there that I like being in the company of, for example, Sunny. I loved being around her, she never failed to put me in a good mood, always living up to her name. But as much as I wished I could, I didn’t like her in that way. It was a shame really, because I bet we could have grown to be a couple and it would have been nice to see her cute face around me all the time.

But life doesn’t ever go the way you want it to. I’ve learnt that from experience. If life went the way I wanted it too then my Appa would still be alive, I wouldn’t have had to leave my old town, I wouldn’t have met Hyukjae, I wouldn’t be dealing with these stupid feelings that can never be reciprocated, I’d have a chance at being happy. I could meet a nice girl – or guy, I don’t really know what my uality is yet – settle down, get married, give my parents grandchildren, find a good job that left me with enough money to spoil my partner and my kids and maybe get my parents a few random gifts from time to time to show them that I appreciate all they’ve done for me. But no, life didn’t go the way I wanted it to, and now I’m here, stuck in my little world of depression where nothing seems to be going right. But then again, if I hadn’t gone through it all, I never would have met Kyuhyun or Sungmin and that would have been a shame.

And when I come to think of it, as mad as he makes me all the time, I’m happy that I met Hyukjae too. Although I do wish that our friendship would go along more smoothly than it has been lately. It’s like a constant game of cat and mouse with us. One of us always chasing the other, stepping on their toes, getting ready to catch them and make them our play thing, only to let them go, make them think it’s all okay before resuming the chase.

“Donghae… Can we take a break and… talk for a while?” Hyukjae spoke up, breaking my train of thought. I looked over to see him closing my laptop and placing it on my bedside table before sitting cross-legged on my bed and patting the space in front of him.

“I’ve got nothing I want to say, so I don’t want to talk. We have work to do” I answered, trying to keep my voice as even and monotonous as possible.

“Donghae” he sighed “I know you’re still mad at me, but this is ridiculous. I mean, you won’t even talk to me now?”

I take a deep breath as I pinched the top of my nose between my thumb and forefinger before turning to face him for what seemed like the millionth time since we’d entered the room.

“Hyukjae. I really don’t have time for this. Call it what you will, but just because I’m mad doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you. I have other reasons that I don’t and to be quite honest, I don’t see why you’re being so persistent about it. Can’t you just go home or something, if you’re not going to work” I said, finally dropping my hand to my lap and looking to at him.

He frowned as his eyebrows knitted together before he answered “Ani, I don’t want to go home, and besides, you’ve perked my interest now”

I looked at him incredulously before shaking my head “Perked your interest?”

“Umhmm. What’s the reason you don’t want to talk to me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, and leaning forward to rest his chin in his hand as he awaited my answer.

“Nothing that you need concern yourself with” I pursed my lips as I folded my arms across my chest.

“Actually, being as it’s to do with me, I do need to concern myself with it” he shrugs, getting up off them bed and walking over to me. Without any warning, he gripped my hand and pulled me to my feet, his chest barely apart from mine as he spun me around so that my back was facing the bed. “So spill”

“Ani, there’s nothing to say” I said, hesitantly taking a few steps back until the back of my legs hit the metal bed frame.

He walks forward, closing the space between us again as he replied with “Stop lying to me”

“I’m not, so drop it!” I half yelled back at him.

“What if I don’t?”

“Then you can just leave”

“No”

“Yes”

“No”

“Yes”

“Tell me”

“No”

“So there is something”

“I never said that”

“But you implied it”

I didn’t know how to respond to I just resorted to looking down.

Before I knew what was happening, I was pushed down onto the bed, Hyukjae straddling my hips and he leaned down and pinned my hands above my head, his face dangerously close to my own.

“Talk to me, tell me what’s wrong and I’ll try to fix it” he whispered.

“It’s not something you can fix… It’s not even you, it’s m-”

“Really, ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ you’re really going for that? What, are you breaking up with me or something right now? Just tell me the truth” he laughed bitterly.

“I am telling you the truth!” I protested, trying to get out of his grip, but to no avail.

“Then just tell me why it’s supposedly you” he huffed

“I can’t! So just drop it Hyukjae!” I said, my voice rising slightly.

He  flinched but then regained his composure, “I’m not dropping it, I’m not going home, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what the hell is wrong and why you won’t talk to me!”

“FINE! Fine, you really want to know?! YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW HYUKJAE?! I’ll tell you. I don’t want to talk to you because you are seriously ing with my head! One minute you hate me, the next you’re kissing me, then you’re ing yelling at me like a bastard again and then you have me pinned to the god damn bed, straddling me, demanding answers as though you’re my ing boyfriend or something. And do you want to know what’s worse? At times, when you’re being so freaking sweet, that it’s sickening, I actually get my hopes up and think that maybe, just maybe, you actually care about me or something, but no, you don’t care about anyone but yourself!

 “You think that everything will just go back to being fine and dandy with us, but it won’t because every time it starts to, you do something to make me cry or upset and make me want to just drown myself in a sea of self-loathing and you think you can make it all up to me with a stupid ‘Sorry, I don’t want to hurt you Donghae’! But no matter how many times you make me feel like complete and utter , I can’t stop my heart from racing whenever you touch me or smile at me! I can’t stop myself from heating up whenever you do something sweet for me or even if you brush a strand of hair from my face! And more than anything I can’t seem to stop thinking about you all the ing time and I hate it! I hate it so much because I don’t know how to deal with all of this. And I thought that maybe, if I didn’t talk to you for a while I could get my head straight, but you won’t even let me do that!

 “So that, Lee Hyukjae, is why I don’t want to talk to you!”

My breathing was a heavy as a freaking buffalo at that point and there was a fire burning inside of me, fuelling my rage that I just didn’t know how to put out… I didn’t even care about the fact that I’d just discretely confessed – sort of – to the stupid freaking monkey that was STILL pinning me down to my own bed. But then again, he was probably too stupid to notice anyway.

I looked up to see the confused/taken aback/huh/what-the-hell look on his face and laughed bitterly. “Happy now? You got your answer so can you just leave?”

He didn’t say anything, he just continued to look down at me, his face softening as he did. A small pout made its way to his lips, making him look absolutely adorable – though this wasn’t the time, not the place to be thinking that – as his eyebrows contracted in what I could only guess was a mixture of shock and confusion.

“Do I really make you feel that horrible?” he whispered, biting his lip after like a child that’s just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“Yes” I whispered back, trying to avoid his gaze.

“If it helps, I don’t think anyone can hate me more than I hate myself right now…” again, his voice was just a whisper.

“It doesn’t, but the thought and all that” I smiled sadly…

“I know it doesn’t mean anything to you, but I am truly sorry, and I know I’ve said it time and again, but I promise, I will prove it to you somehow. I’ll prove to you that I really don’t want to see you hurt, especially because of me”

He slowly leant his head down to rest his forehead against my own, forcing me to look into his eyes. And I knew then that he meant what he said, because I could see the sincerity in his eyes. But that didn’t mean that things would be fixed, it didn’t mean that we would be all rainbows and sunshine right away. But it did mean one thing;

“I forgive you…” I whispered as he let go of my wrists.

Tears were b his eyes as his face lit up in a smile, his gummy smile that I loved “Really?”

My hands were acting on their own accord as they slid up over his biceps, making their way over his shoulders until my arms were wrapped around his neck, my face buried against his shoulder and a muffled ‘yes’ escaped my lips.

His arms wrapped around my waist as he helped me to sit up a little, pulling me close so there wasn’t any space separating us.

“I’ve missed being able to just hug you” he murmured into my hair, his voice slightly lower and more seductive than usual.

“I’ve missed it too. Who would have thought that we’d be so close in such a short amount of time?” I whispered, mainly to myself.

I felt him nod slightly, but he didn’t say anything else after that. He just held me in his arms until finally, I fell asleep…

(Sungmin POV)

“Yah! Don’t touch the bunny!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s mine and it was a gift!”

“So, it’s just a stuffed toy”

I gasped “You take that back! You take that back, right now! Or I am not helping you!”

“Fine, fine, it’s not. Whatever” she rolled her eyes and placed Minbunny back on my pillow. “So do you have any ideas?”

“I do” I sighed and sat down on my bed, crossing my legs and pulling Minbunny onto my lap, “I was thinking, you can do it tomorrow. At lunch, take him away and talk to him. Tell him you love him, but not in the way you thought and that you guys will still be friends and can still hang out and stuff. And mention that you know he doesn’t love you in that way either and it’s not fair for you to be holding each other back… and yeah, I’m sure you can handle the rest”

“Woah, why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you’re an idiot” I muttered

“I heard that! Anyway, I’m leaving. Bye Sungmin, tell your Umma and Appa I said hi”

“Yeah yeah, see you at school”

And with that, she was gone….

FREEDOM!!!!!

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A/N: Hai hai~
I impart on you, le chapter numbered 15~
Hope you enjoyed~

Love you guys ^.^
Until we next meet (Ooo changed it up a bit)<3