it's an update, yay!

aren't you so proud that our bbies won first? 

We find them on the third day. 

The first was spent getting our bearings around the first two possible locations, pinpointing the exact apartment and house and many times stumbling on people with our parents’ names but never finding our parents. The end of the first and the beginning of the second is used for traveling and sleeping. The second day is not much more exciting. It’s wash, rinse, and repeat of the day before.

On the third day, we arrive in Daejeon. There are three different possible places that our parents could be, and the first two we check out are dead ends. I don’t really have much hope for this city, it doesn’t seem like a place the parents I remember would want to live in. But by chance, we stop in a mini mart to grab some fuel for our stomachs, and in there I realize that I’m wrong.

I’ve forgotten that I have her eyes: golden brown irises and long black eyelashes that frame large eyes. She hasn’t changed that much, although I do see a new wrinkle here and there, and tiny slivers of white peeking out of her jet black hair. Sehun’s in another aisle, and I want to call out to him that I’ve found her but my voice refuses to work. She notices me before I have the chance to approach her.

“Daeun.” My name slips cautiously from , like this has happened before and she’s trying not to set herself up to get her hopes crushed. 

A packet of jam filled sweet bread slips from my grasp, forgotten on the cold ground. “Mom.”

In a flurry, she rushes towards me with open arms and shock ripples through me as she embraces me. This is a much different reaction than what I was expecting. Maybe I was thinking that she would scream in anger, or worse, ignore my entire existence. But, a hug and, if my ears are telling me correctly, crying? Not expected, at all. I blink back tears of my own as my arms return the hug.

“Hey, Daeun, which one do you like bette-” I see Sehun freeze, holding an orange can of pop in one hand and a purple one in the other. 

“Sehun?” She wonders, eyes wide with wonder. “Y-you’re alive.” She sobs as she holds onto him like he’s the world. 

I feel myself being tugged closer, and her hand rests at my cheek. There are a river of tears on her face. She says, “Daeun, you’ve grown up beautifully. And Sehun, you’ve gotten so handsome” and “Let’s go home and have some lunch” and it feels like we’ve never left. 

She talks animatedly on the way home. Her arms are hooked around ours while I carry one bag of groceries in my free hand and Sehun does the same. Looking at how happy she is, my heart pangs. I should’ve done this sooner.

When you think about dads, you think about strong fathers who only laugh and reprimand when needed, but you never imagine one crying. At least, I never did until we walked past the apartment door and ours stops whatever he’s doing to envelope us all into a giant hug. The emotional fest doesn’t last too long though because mother is pulling us all into a kitchen and putting us to work chopping up vegetables and pan frying slivers of beef. 

Once the cooking’s done around half an hour later, we settle into the dining table and start to eat. They’re all laughing, smiles bright on their faces, but I can’t help but feel my stomach clench painfully and somewhere along the way, my mom’s delicious meals starts to become inedible as emotions choke my throat. 

“I’m sorry.” I manage, and my voice creaks from the strain. Everything’s quiet now. “I’m sorry for leaving, and I’m sorry that I was being selfish, and that I ran and didn’t come to look for you earlier-”

A hand wraps around my own, my mother smiles. Dad says, “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

I’ve learned that after I left, they stopped arguing about every single little thing. My mother’s ‘affair’ doesn’t hold a place in their lives anymore, although it’s still a touchy subject. But they’ve moved past it, they’ve learned that they love each other more than they think and they’re willing to look forward and not at the same page. They realized this once they came into my room only to find the bed made and untouched, and me gone. 

Dad was with Sehun sitting in front of the TV, both engrossed in the topic of soccer, while mom had said to me, “You leaving was a bucket of ice water in our face, in a good way of course. I mean we were devastated, but in truth, I believe that it was a blessing in disguise.”

We stayed another day because we had the time to since we found our parents earlier than planned. While dad was at work, a desk job in some well-known hotel and resorts company, mom took us around to sightsee. Later on, we stopped in a park to eat lunch which consisted of handmade sandwiches and lemonade. Mom was telling us stories about when we were younger and when we were away. I locked them all some place deep into my soul so I wouldn’t forget them.Then we went home, dad met us there, and he had dinner over a movie. We watched another me, talked mainly, and went to bed close to midnight.

Now Sehun and I stand by the car, slowly returning our belongings to the back of the vehicle. I don’t want to leave yet, but whether we like it or not, we have work and a different life now. We promise to visit often, though. I plan to keep this promise.

I seem to have this condition where as soon as I get comfortable in a car, I fall asleep instantly, because I’ve only blinked my eyes and suddenly we’re back in Seoul and the sun is hanging a lot lower in the sky.

“You sleep like the dead.” Sehun comments, a playful smile spreading on his face. 

I scoff and scoot further into my seat, crossing my arms on my chest. “Eh, it’s a blessing.” Sleep itself is a blessing. It takes away everything in the moments that it consumes you, all your thoughts are wiped clean and you can rest your soul until you have to wake up again.

Suddenly, I reach a dilemma. 

Jongin is now back at the apartment, which means I’ll have to confront him a lot sooner than I had wanted to. I haven’t said anything about it to anyone yet, and I’m not planning to, so unless I spontaneously come up with a solid, believable excuse, I am left with no choice but to head back to the shared apartment.

“You okay?” Sehun’s voice filters through my thoughts. I realize that I have a hand on the dashboard in front of me, knuckles white and fingers tense. “Do you not feel well?”

“Yes-I mean no, I mean yes I feel fine.” I choke out. He looks at me funny, but doesn’t press the issue any further.

I try my best to prolong the journey up to the apartment, but I end up in front of the door nonetheless. It’s daunting, I think as I press in the code, the light on the door handle turning green to signal that it’s open. Entering as quietly as I can, I place my bag on the ground in the living room, passing by Jongin’s room along the way. I peek in and find him already asleep. The clock tells me it’s only seven-twenty. I think that’s a record for him. 

I don’t know why I do it, or how I even end there, but the next thing I know I’m sitting on the edge of the bed. He looks peaceful here, serene and calm, and I almost lose myself in the pull of his steady breathing. Almost, but it’s not enough.

Lightly, I brush my fingers over the fringe of hair that covers his eyes. He moves into my touch, but I’m already pulling my hand away. I shouldn’t be here. Actually I’m not sure why I’m still here. It’s funny, a couple weeks ago I would’ve been right next to him, in his arms or even cuddled into his side. A lot can change in a couple of weeks.

Jongin stirs and I bolt up, heart pounding erratically. I take a step backwards, towards the door, and hold my breath. “Daeun?” He mutters, and for a second I think I’m done for, caught, but then he shuffles under the covers more and I breathe a sigh of relief once I realize that he’s still asleep. I start to leave because I’m afraid of what will happen if he actually wakes up, and I’m almost out the room too, but he mumbles one last thing and it sends an ache echoing through the empty cavity of my chest. 

“Daeun, I’m sorry.”

I keep waking up every other hour and when my bedside clock blinks 5:00 in red letters, I give up trying to sleep altogether. After staring at a wall for ten minutes to persuade myself to leave the warm comfort of the bed, I stretch and proceed to complete my morning routine of making myself presentable. At five thirty-six, I decide that I’ll go to the office now because there’s no point in waiting around. This time, as I make my way out of the apartment, I don’t stop by Jongin’s room.

“You’re here unusually early.” Kris observes as I unlock the door to my office. He’s drinking coffee and leaning against an empty cubicle behind me. “Why.”

“Yes, good morning to you, too, Kris. And because I can.” I say, slinging my purse onto the black lounger and casting a quick glance out the window. The sky’s a little gray.

“Alright.” Kris shrugs, and he doesn’t make a move to leave, instead choosing to sit in the chair across from me. I’m not much of a morning person and it’s a little too early for me to talk to people, especially if I haven’t had coffee yet. “How did everything go with the search, little Daeunnie?”

I glare at him. “You may be one of my bosses, but I will still punch you if you ever call me that again. But, yeah we found them, everything went well. They live in Daejeon.” Leaning into my chair, I cross my arms. 

“Well, I’m happy for you and Sehun.” He sighs, and I notice he just looks tired. “Hey, where’s Jongin?”

“He’s at home. Sleeping.”

Kris raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t want to wake him up so early.”

Out in the hall, I can hear Suho calling for Kris and thankfully it draws the attention away from me. “In here, Suho!” He answers.

The Superintendent pokes his head through the open door and smiles. “Oh, Daeun, you’re back? How did everything go?”

“It went great. They found their parents.” Kris says, almost impatiently, before I can even begin to form words. “Any updates?”

Updates? I guess a few days out of the business leaves you a little behind.

“Yes. You presence is requested by forensics.” Suho says, face dimming into a serious expression that I’ve hardly ever seen him wear.

“Forensics? What do they want with me?” Kris asks, scowling like he’s unamused and disinterested all of sudden, when he had been so eager about updates just a few seconds earlier.

“You do realize that you’re the Chairman now, right? Some things have to be heard by you.”

“They have to be heard by you too. Can’t you just go and tell me after? I don’t feel like walking the distance to forensics. Come on, just this one time-” But the reluctant Kris is pulled away by Suho nonetheless. I guess today’s just one of those lazy phases for Kris.

Somewhere along the line, Yoonmi pops into my office, and thankfully with an iced mocha latte. I sip it with peace and recline further in my chair. “Did Jongin talk to you yet?”

Coffee slips down the wrong pipe and I cough. “What?”

“About the new case.” She answers patiently.

“Oh. Oh, no he didn’t mention it.” I say when my lungs are no longer burning. Yoonmi sits in the chair Kris had previously occupied and sighs. 

“Well, I guess you did just get back. Anyway, SHC keeps getting anonymous letters. They’re not threatening, but they aren’t settling either. Whoever it is, was also behind the attack on Jongin from the other night, so we have orders to take precautionary measures.”

I lean forward onto my desk. “Alright, what do they say?”

The next thing that leaves is something I am not ready to hear. “They’re looking for someone or something that’s called the Pure One, and they won’t stop at anything until they get it.”