Everything was blurred to Myungsoo. He could feel his world was falling apart. He really lost in his own thought that Sungjong already left him. He was suffocated; this was too much for him. Slowly, he took his steps towards Sungjong’s bed that once their shared bed. Lying on the same exact spot of Sungjong, he could inhale the latter’s sweet strawberry scent. Not talking about the tears, they were just come out freely without Myungsoo tried to hold them back.

Only if I was nice to Sungjong, all of these won’t happened.

Only if I was able to control my anger, all of these won’t happened.

Only if I was treat Sungjong well, all of these won’t happened.

Only if I was don’t have this super massive ego, all of these won’t happened.

Only if I was keeping my promise to protect him, all of these won’t happened.

Myungsoo cried out loud; letting out all his regrets. How much he hated himself right now.

“Jongie baby, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, very really sorry. Please forgive me.”

“I already miss you Jongie, can’t you please come back to me?”

Myungsoo reached the framed photo of his and Sungjong. He caressed Sungjong’s face dearly. The tears were flowing faster.

“Where are you now, love?”

Myungsoo closed his eyes.

“Myung, do you have some times?”

I kept silence. “I saw this is coming.”

“Myungsoo talk to me. Myungsoo talk to me please. You have been like this for weeks, why?”

I kept my mouth shut. “I’m hurting, Sungjong-ah.”

“Myungsoo, look at me! Look at me! I’m your Sungjong, won’t you know who am I, Myung?” Sungjong begged desperately. Fat tears were rolling down his smooth cheeks. He tried to make me turned to face him but I brushed his hands away. Sungjong startled with that action. Sungjong was crying, demand for his some explanations.

“This is why I don’t wanna talk about this matter. I’m  scared that I can’t control myself.”

I told him about the baby’s age but Sungjong seemed lost.

“You don’t know you were pregnant Jongie or you are just playing pranks with me again?”

“You fooled me, Lee Sungjong! You fooled everyone! Why? Why you do this to me? My once angel that I cared, that I loved the most, has failed me, has hurt me deeply. Do you know how devastated I am?”

“You said I was your first love but actually you already have a boyfriend!”

“No! I didn’t!”

“Oh so it’s boyfriends then!”

 “You slept with your boyfriend and yet you married me. That baby wasn’t mine Lee Sungjong! You fooled me!”

“That wasn’t true!”

“Then what? You got pregnant by yourself? Thank God that our parents thought we were together before we got married. They didn’t suspect a thing about it but me! I can’t accept that! No! Never!”

“Myungsoo, I can explain.”

“What lies you’ll told me, Lee Sungjong? What else?! Gosh, I can’t take this anymore, this is so frustrating!”

“I-I the ba-baby actually-”

“Enough, I do not want to hear any word from you. I’m going out. Don’t wait for me as I’ll be back late.” I walked out and purposely slammed the door as I want to let him know that I was mad. “The truth might hurt me more. I’m not ready to hear that, I’m so scared. I’m afraid.”

My legs brought me to our favourite