The sun was just beginning to come through the curtains but Myungsoo had been awake for some time due to familiar weight on his right shoulder. An IV trickled medication into his arm, while a heart monitor was steady beeping filled the silence. With his right arm which wrapped Sungjong protectively, he closed the gap between them as if there was any inch left.

Myungsoo watched Sungjong sleep. Sungjong was beautiful when he was asleep. He was relaxed, no worries form. Myungsoo sighed contently and leaned down to capture Sungjong’s lips in a soft kiss.

The kiss was real.

The softness was real.

The warmth was real.

I was alive was real.

I didn’t die, yet.

Thank God. Thank you for the second chance.

Thank you for the opportunity which I thought I might never got.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Myungsoo chanted ‘thank you’s in his head and he felt the hot tears were making their way out, slowly slid down but Myungsoo wiped the tears away quickly and leaned down once more, just to shower Sungjong’s beautiful sleeping peacefully face with kisses before capture the latter’s lips once again.

Sungjong hummed softly into the kiss. His lips curved into a smile as he woke. “Myungsoo,” he murmured when Myungsoo pulled away.

Myungsoo smiled and brushed a strand of hair away from Sungjong’s face. “Good morning, love.”

They shared a few more good morning kisses. Despite of the longing for each other and the gratefulness in their tiny little hearts, the kisses weren’t neither that aggressive nor too passionate, yet they were full of love, steady, soft, tender and deep. The last was the longest, breathtaking and mind blowing.

Sungjong pulled away. “I.. I should call the doctor or-or the nurse to check on you so-”

“No, no, no. That can wait. Please stay. I missed you. I need you, here, with me.”

“Oh Myungsoo, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just right here.” Sungjong moved his hand to Myungsoo’s left shoulder, hugging his husband tighter than ever and buried his face on Myungsoo’s chest as he cried shamelessly. Myungsoo gave a few kisses on top of Sungjong’s head. He could feel what and how Sungjong might felt right now.

“Sweetheart, please stop crying. Tears aren’t looking good on you,” Myungsoo said softly. His right hand was rubbing Sungjong’s back in circles.

“If you died, if you didn’t survive, if you had to be gone, I’d definitely follow you without second thought because I can’t live without you. I don’t want to be alone,” Sungjong said between his sobbing.

The only positive thing that Myungsoo could find in the situation and it was more a ‘laughing so I don’t cry’ attitude at that. He can’t cry and made everything worse. Sure it was a heartbreaking and overwhelmed moment, but he also sure that there was already too much tears wasted and he wasn’t planned to add the amount.

Was he just laughed?

Sungjong frowned deeply and pouted as he looked into Myungsoo’s calm dark eyes. Why his almost-dying-from-heart-problem-and-just-gained-consciousness husband laughed and seemed didn’t take what he said seriously? Didn’t the man in front of him know how awful it felt when he knew he almost lost him? No, awful wasn’t the word. It was beyond, the feeling was beyond awful. Sungjong didn’t remember if he ever cracked a joke or said something funny between the lines either.

“Myungsoo,” Sungjong whined and Myungsoo just gave a tender warm innocent smile to him. Sungjong frowned still. “I love you so much, Myungsoo. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Well lucky for you now, you’ll never have to find out about that anymore.” They shared another kiss. Myungsoo noticed Sungjong was wearing the same outfits as him. Sungjong wouldn’t wear them just because he wanted, would he?

Their lips still sealed with each other and Myungsoo took Sungjong’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. Myungsoo noticed another thing; Sungjong was wearing a ring on his right ring finger.

An unknown ring.

A ring he was sure he never gave it to his wife.

A ring he never seen before.

A ring he never known about its existence.

But sure, he buried his curiosities down inside his heart; saved all the questions for later and pushed all the irrelevant thoughts that didn’t make sense.

What happened when I was out?

Someone opened the door and stepped inside the room but Myungsoo and Sungjong were barely registered it, too busy to catch up.

“Oh! I’m sorry. Guess like I’m interrupting something important here. I’ll be back in 15 minutes.” With that, Minwoo turned and ready to leave. Myungsoo pressed his lips against Sungjong’s harder before he pulled away. “Appa,” he called. Minwoo twisted his neck and cocked his head out to face his smiling son and son-in-law as he replied the same sweet content smile.

“I was planning to check on you,” Minwoo smiled wider. “And I’m greeted with good news. You have woke up. So did you, Sungjongie.” Minwoo shifted his eyes to Sungjong. Sungjong blushed hard hearing Minwoo’s tease. Myungsoo let out a soft laugh and held Sungjong tighter.

“So, how are you Myungsoo?” The smile was still hanging on the doctor’s thin lips. 

“Good, grateful, thankful, absolutely happy,” Sungjong pecked on Myungsoo’s cheek and left the latter grinning. “I need to go to toilet.” Sungjong pushed himself up and got down from Myungsoo’s bed.

“Do you need my help, Sungjong?”

“No, it’s okay, appa. I’m fine.”

“Be careful there, son.”

“I will,” Sungjong smiled, showing his white teeth to his father-in-law before closed the door behind him. “Appa, it’s only 3 meters away. Do you have anything to cover me up?” Myungsoo’s voice was so soft. Minwoo read those words as ‘Appa, why Sungjong wears the hospital outfit? Why he should be careful? What happened?’. Minwoo sighed before answered, “He fell.” Myungsoo raised his eyebrows and widen his eyes. That shock face Myungsoo was wearing somehow made Minwoo’s heart dropped.

“It was not his fault at all. Long story short, he had brought here just in time and both Sungjong and your child are good but the baby’s heartbeat is a little low. He’s here because his doctor and I need to monitor both of them closely. I ensure you nothing to worry.”

“You need to monitor him closely, that doesn’t sound so good to me.” Myungsoo frowned.  There was tension in his shoulders. The father saw it.

Minwoo couldn’t bring himself to tell Myungsoo that Sungjong was also under depression due to Sungyeol’s death. The whole situation would turn bad if he let Sungjong back home and be alone with that unstable condition, and just let his emotion eat him up. God knew what he might do.

“He needs you. He’s worried sick about you. Send him away from you couldn’t make him better.”

Myungsoo chewed his lower lip and looked like in deep though. As much as Sungjong needs him, he needed Sungjong more. Myungsoo was so, very afraid if he had to really leave Sungjong and their child. That awful thought enough to make Myungsoo suffocated. Myungsoo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looked at his father with an empty look before looking up at the ceiling. When he was unconscious, there was something or he could call a voice in his head, saying a same line repeatedly.

I cannot hate myself even more than this. If I gave Sungjong back to you but he is still crying, I could just take my own life. I don’t want to regret anything any again this time Myungsoo-sshi. Sungjong’s tears such a poison to me. Do you know how terrible it feels when I heard his sobbing? When I saw those tears and have to wipe them away from him?

Do you know how terrible it feels when I heard his sobbing? When I saw those tears and have to wipe them away from him?

If I gave Sungjong back to you but he is still crying, I could just take my own life.

I could just take my own life.

I could just take my own life.

Yes, especially that line. That line that had woke him up.

He knew who said that. He knew whose voice was that. He remembered when he was told that. He remembered where that happened. He remembered those eyes who met his. How could he forgot about that furious, love, concern, at the same time, hurt and pain in those eyes that can be heard clearly in his voice?

But, why now?

Why that line kept replaying in his head? It was more like hunting Myungsoo down.

It felt like.. Sungyeol was hunting Myungsoo down.

“I think I’m going back to my room then since you’re going to check on, Myung.” Myungsoo was snapped back to the reality. When Sungjong went out from the toilet? How come he didn’t notice Sungjong was sitting next to him?

“No, don’t go. You promised me you’d be here.” Sungjong looked at his frowning husband. His hand was holding Myungsoo’s. He brushed his thumb against Myungsoo’s knuckles. “I’ve already missed you, though.”

“Silly Myung,” Sungjong