Sometimes… it just isn’t

It had been years since the last time she sat down for dinner with Danny, Teddy, Bae Kyoung, Jinhwan, Kush, Jinu, Gummy, and Eun. Having fun and laughing at anecdotes of their younger days, they sat comfortably after dinner and enjoyed dessert. They had gone to the cafeteria coz it was quite a drive if they decided to eat out and they were all tired from the Monthly Operations Meeting the President had called for.

A lot of things were going to happen next year and they readied themselves for one heck of a battle.

“Remember that time we were running from girls downtown and this old man mistakes us for thieves and calls the police?” Bae Kyoung was asking Teddy “I almost peed in my pants man! I’ve never seen a gun that close to my face before.”

Teddy laughed “Yeah. You turned white as sheet and Danny and I had to drag you coz you’re legs were shaking so much.”

“Hey! You guys didn’t drag me. I was walking with Jinhwan!”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Teddy contradicted “Jinhwan was laughing at you so hard he wasn’t able to walk as well.”

Jinhwan laughed again at the memory “Those were the good old days huh? I remember earning lots of cash and then losing them in one go.”

“I’d forgotten how childish you all were” Eun told them “I thought it was cute at the time but I’m thankful you’ve all matured enough.”

“We didn’t have a choice” Kush told her “My wife, for one, is going to smack me dead if I don’t clean up!”

“Speak for yourself man! You needed a wife to hustle you. All I needed was to look at the President whenever he listened to my compositions” Bae Kyoung answered and imitated how President YG would curl his eyebrows and shake his head when something was not to his liking.

Danny almost choked with almond jelly at Bae Kyoung’s imitation. The man uncannily resembled the President.

“I guess we’ve all come a long way… well… how about this new recruits? You really did a great job with them Teddy” Jinu complimented.

“Hey! Danny and Mai here helped me polish them” Teddy responded with a wave of his hand, deferring the compliment “And they’re already really good. I’ve been blessed a lot despite all that has happened.”

Silence enveloped the room as the memory of why Teddy left YG suddenly popped up in each of their minds. Mai had to look down on her plate because she was at a lost at what to say to break off the tension.

“Well… you’re back now” Gummy told him with a smile “And whatever happened before… there’s time to talk of that but maybe not now huh?”

Everyone nodded.

“We’re supposed to celebrate” Jinhwan added “And since this is the first time we’re almost complete, let’s catch up on each other. Eun, until when are you going to keep your mouth shut?”

Eun, completely unprepared to be the next one on the spotlight, blinked in surprise “What are you talking about?!?”

Bae Kyoung, immediately jumping onto this new topic, laughed out loud “Come on Eun! We’re not all blind!”

And as everybody else joined in the grilling, Mai was aware only of Teddy who was trying not to look at her.

“You need to give him time Mai” Danny, who was sitting beside her, whispered very softly.

She looked at him and smiled “Don’t worry about me” she answered in a hushed whisper too – though they could be shouting and no one would have noticed because everybody was having fun teasing Eun.

Mai turned to look at her cousin and offered a “I’m-powerless-against-this-people” smile when Eun turned to her with her “Help-me-they’re-eating-me-alive” eyes.

“You’re quite very very lucky my dear Eun” she wanted to tell the other woman “You’ll be having Papa all your life while I don’t even have the time to wait for Teddy anymore.”

-----------------------------------------------------------

How does she know?

(Two weeks ago…)

Ji felt a big dam of emotion finally break open as he ended his story. Mai and the rest of his brothers had not stirred as he told them everything… from their first meeting, to the window messages, to the amusement park, to the crab soysauce, to that hurtful e-mail, to seeing her again, to being figuratively slapped by Han and Se7en, and to realizing that no matter what he did, no matter how much he fought it or tried to run away from it… there wasn’t anything he can do for his heart had lost to her from the very beginning.

For Mai, it was the first time he told this story. For his brothers, it was the first time he would tell the story in full.

“All those years man…” YB began “I always felt something but I’ve never realized –“ He stopped for he was at a loss for words. What is one suppose to say to a friend you have treated as a brother who has just told you that for almost more than three years now, he had loved and suffered for only one woman?

“I’ve never had the courage to tell you this bro” Ji told him “I’m sorry. I’m sorry to everyone if you feel like I did not trust you coz the truth is, it’s myself I didn’t trust. And I’m really scared about this, you know. I mean…”

“We understand” T.O.P. cut him off but sincerity laced every word he uttered “You don’t need to explain Ji. You were protecting her and yourself. You had to do everything you could.”

Ji nodded, relieved to find that his brothers indeed understood. “Everything just became more and more complicated. There have been points when I’ve begun to really consider giving up on this but like everything to do with Dara, I just go back.”

Mai, who upto that moment had just silently sat beside Daesung’s hospital bed, stood up and held both his hands “Thank you for sharing this with me Ji Yong-ie. It has taken so much from you and I’m happy to have been a key in helping you finally have everything you feel out in the open. Now, as my younger brothers in YG, you have also been given the freedom to tell this to Dara. Have you grabbed the chance already? Does she know all this?”

Ji shook his head. “No, noona. I have not been able to tell her of this yet.”

“But why?”

“He feels just telling her isn’t enough noona” Seung-ri answered for him.

“What do you mean?”

“Well” Ji took a deep breath and looked at his senior very seriously “After everything that’s happened between us… do I just go and tell her I love her? Do I just say it out loud like that? And is it even enough to make her really feel what I feel? Will it be enough to – I don’t know – it’s just… it feels vague noona. It feels too simple.”

“Awwww my dear Ji Yong” Mai replied, pressing both his hands tighly “Do you not know that all a woman needs to hear from the man she loves is that he loves her? Do you not know that a woman never tires from hearing it? Do you not know that those three ‘simple’ words as you call them is enough to melt away every pain she’s felt and every tear she’s shed for you.”

“But -“

“No buts Ji” Mai apprehended him “Do as I have told you. Tell her you love her as many times and as often as you could. You never know when it can really be too late.”