Her alone

Two years ago…He liked Jin-ah. He knew she knew that.“It touches me Ji, that you like me” Jin-ah explained “but I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to tell you about this before but as I’ve said I already have a boyfriend.”“You, obviously forgetting to tell me about him makes me think that maybe you don’t care about him as much as you’re claiming.”The girl sighed. “Ji” she began “you see… I did like you… no. I do like you.”“So, what’s holding you back? I’m willing to forget all about you not telling me about your boyfriend. It’s a small matter.”“It’s not Ji” she shook her head “We both know it’s not… if you were any other guy, I would have not thought twice but you see… you have been nothing but kind and wonderful to me and what you’re asking is not fair for both of us.”He grunted in frustration. “So… you’re choosing HIM over ME because I’m kind and wonderful?!?!”“Not that at all” Jin-ah answered “But it had something to do with why I have decided to end this.”“I don’t understand you.”She took his hand and looked at him sincerely. “I don’t want this to go any further because every time we’re together, every time that we see each other, every time we hang around with your friends or even without them, I feel like I’m a replacement for someone.”“What are you talking about?!?”“Ji… I’m not blind. I see how you sometimes look at me and see another person” there were now tears in her eyes “I don’t know who she is but she’s there - her memory with you is stronger than anything I’ve ever seen… and you may be trying to forget her, that’s why you keep seeing a lot of girls.”“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he denied.Jin-ah wiped her tears “There you go again. Being so stubborn. Min Li - the girl you dated before me - we had a talk and she said the same thing. Everybody sees it Ji - I don’t know about your friends or your family coz you hide yourself well but those of us who you have dated… I think, we all know. We’re fighting against someone whose hold on you is so strong.”He shook his head “Min Li just said that because we weren’t able to part ways well.”“It’s because she’s fallen in love with you Ji and she knew that she’d never be able to have you fall in love with her the same way. You already gave your heart to someone… you can’t give it to another.”His head dropped to his hands. “Why do you keep saying that??? I’m here and willing to give that heart to you. If you’re going to leave me… maybe you shouldn’t really put the blame on me.”Jin-ah took a deep sigh. “Go! Keep denying it! But you know more than we all do that what I am saying is true! Yes! You’re willing to TRY to give me your heart but that’s all you can ever do Ji. You can just try and try and try but it’s not going to work. You can’t forget her. You keep trying but you just can’t.”He stood up in anger. “I don’t know what you’re saying Jin-ah. But if this is how you want it to end, just go. I’m tired of listening to these things that you keep saying. There’s no one. No one at all.”He turned his back from her and walked away. “There’s no one” he repeated to himself “No one at all.”

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Wishing for dementia

“What’s the problem?” Joseph asked her.Dara had been stunned. “Is that a new perfume you’re wearing?”Her boyfriend nodded. “It smells good right? Sung Il - my Korean teacher, remember? She gave this to me. She just came back from Seoul.”“Oh” she replied “Uhmmm… it doesn’t really fit your personality. Can you - I mean… is it ok if you don’t wear it next time?”Joseph raised his brow at her request. He was used to her weirdness but this was really off. “You don’t like it?”She nodded, most earnestly. “I don’t.”That earned her another raised brow. “Well, ok… uhmmm… do you want me to change?”“Can you?”“Ok sure” Joseph fumbled inside his bag “Good thing I always bring extra clothes. I’ll go change, wait for me here.” He walked towards the changing rooms and Dara was left all alone at the coffee shop.“Kya!” she thought helplessly “Why does it take forever to forget a month’s worth of memories???”Joseph had completely disappeared from the crowd and she clenched her fists hard. It took all her power to stop herself from drowning in that perfume - it was Ji’s favorite scent. He always wore it during those days when they saw one another. His sweat reeked of it that Dara had once joked that he bathed in it.Smelling it on Joseph felt wrong. “Oh my God. What am I to do?” she hid her face in her hands “It’s been a year, Lord. A YEAR!!! What else do you want me to do? Have I not been a good girl???”“Are you ok miss?”Looking up, she saw it was one of the café’s crew. “Oh. Yes. Thank you. I’m fine.” “If you say so. Would you like to have a taste? We’re giving free mini cups of our new coffee blend.”She smiled. “That sounds good.”The crew handed her a cup. “Enjoy it. We call that blend the coffee dragon.”She almost choked.“Be careful” the crew told her “It has some fire to it… kicks in fast but will never leave your system.”She nodded. “Uhmmmm… thank you.”As the crew moved on to another table, she looked up the ceiling. “You must be really enjoying this.”

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So sick of love songs

Ji crumpled up the piece of paper he was writing on.He was tired, hungry, and very grumpy.“Ji!!!!” his mother shouted “Young Bae’s going up to your room.”Great. Maybe YB could keep him distracted.“I brought beer” YB told him, showing off a pack of six cans.“How did you know?” he asked.“Jin-ah called me up. She said you’re so stubborn.”He laughed. “Why do they always call you after leaving me?”YB laughed. “They leave you because you can’t give them what they really want man.”“You’re starting to sound like them” he muttered.YB plonked himself down on the bed. “I think you should stop dating.”“I just stopped” Ji answered.“No. As in… don’t date for a while” YB cleared “I mean… how long have I been back? Six months? And ever since I came back, I’ve met about four women already.”“I can’t help that” Ji replied sheepishly.“I know. I know but maybe don’t entertain all these girls for a while ok? Why don’t you rest from the scene and focus more on our gigs. We’ve got a lot coming.”“I don’t know.”“You can do that” YB reiterated “Man! There was a time that you didn’t even need a girl for inspiration. And if you’re dropping them as fast as that, I think you don’t really need them at all."Ji opened a can. Hell. “Maybe I’ll do as you say but for now… let’s not talk about it. Ok?”YB saw that his brother was resolute - he kept mum. It was really strange. He and Ji had been friends since they were twelve. He moved away a year and a half ago to live with his family in Japan but decided to come back just about a few months ago. During his absence, he’d been told that a lot of things have happened.He tried to ask Ji about it but knew that he’d get no answers, the man seems to have kept himself tight-lipped on the issue. YB had asked their friends but everybody told him that Ji just did what he usually did over the past months - rapping underground, studying, going out with everyone - only this time, he was dating a lot of girls.YB wanted to ask Se7en but was unable to talk to him because the hyung had left for California with his girlfriend Han. He had even thought of asking Auntie about it but felt awkward about pushing through coz it would seem that Ji wasn’t telling him everything and he knew that it would raise an alarm for Ji’s mother. She was usually the one to ask YB about things.He knew that something was up. But what could have happened? He had puzzled over it since his return.“Young Bae!!!” Ji’s mother called “Your mother is on the phone.”“I’ll be right down Auntie” he replied and turned towards Ji “Be back in a sec.”Ji nodded and turned back towards his writing. “I keep writing about the same old things” he thought “I’m tired of writing all about love.”A strong wind blew in and opened his window. He stood up from his desk to close it and accidentally pulled on his desk’s drawers. Notes, pens, and mementos fell and he bent down to pick them up.“Haisssshhhhh” he said aloud “What a mess.”He reached for those that rolled under his chair and felt his pulse almost stop. He saw the picture that Dara had given him as a going-away present.He didn’t remember putting it in the drawer and it had been such a long time since he had last seen it. “I thought I threw this away already” he said.Unable to help himself, he paused from picking up his other stuff and looked at the picture. “This makes no sense at all” he told himself but couldn’t stop looking “What did you do to me? How could you have done something like that to me?”“I keep trying so hard and yet… you haven’t gone away. It’s unfair. It’s freaking unfair!!!” and before he could stop it, tears were falling on his lap.YB watched from a hole in Ji’s door. “Who is she bro? Who did this to you?” he wanted to ask him but knew he couldn’t. Ji would be embarrassed as hell and would never speak of it if he dared ask. That was how they had always been. Ji spoke only of those things that he could handle - and as Ji wasn’t speaking about this yet to him… he knew it was something he wasn’t prepared to speak of yet.