Nobody knows it but me

Ji had not been able to sleep despite his fatigue. Like a broken record, the scene at the V.I.P. room kept replaying in his mind and he was feeling furious at everyone coz none of them knew how he was feeling. It was unfair.Gaho went to him as he stared out of his balcony.“Can’t sleep too?” he asked the dog and picked him up.Gaho, seeming to understand his question, looked at him imploringly.He laughed. The first real laugh he had today. “That felt good” he said aloud and petted the dog on the head.Sadly, he was reminded that the past months had not been a laughing matter. Things were getting harder each day for him and he, often, found himself reeling from trying to fight off the pain.Seeing Dara everyday was bittersweet for him.She reminded him of what he went through… of what he’s still going through. It was pathetic. It made him feel like a loser and he never liked feeling that way. He was Kwon Ji Yong for pete’s sake… the great G Dragon... his name was enough to cause fear amongst those he battled with… it was enough to break a lot of girls’ hearts… it was…“OH WHAT THE HELL?!?” he shouted towards the skies - forgetting that he isn’t the only person in the apartment complex.He knew it sounded so chauvinistic and narcissistic. He didn’t really allow himself to think those things but something about being stuck in this situation pushed a lot of his buttons.“I guess this is how it will always be” he said to Gaho, “Whenever she comes into my life… everything turns upside down.”The canine just looked at him, seeming to say “Why do you let her?”Ji had no answer to that, though. He didn’t know himself.A cold wind blew towards him and he felt a chill run down his spine. He remembered that he had just come from a fever.He decided to walk to his room and head for a secret compartment in his closet - a habit he developed whenever he felt melancholy. He took out a frame and looked at it. “I can’t let you get that close to me again” he told the girl in the picture - something he had always told it for over the past two years - something that he said almost every day now - a mantra “I barely lived when you broke my heart the first time… if I let you break it for the second time, I don’t think I’ll be able to survive anymore…”

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There are things you just can’t help

Dara woke up the next morning to find her sisters all dressed up with overnight bags in toe. “Where are you going?” she asked.“Home” Minji answered “Manager told us to take the weekend off, don’t you remember?”Dara rubbed her eyes. “He did?!? When?”Chaerin laughed “Dara-unnie, he told us that last night while we were celebrating! Maybe you’ve drunk one too many!”She sat up “But I can’t go home this weekend. Mama and Durami are visiting friends in Jeju Island.”“Want to come with me?” Bom asked “You know Mama loves having you over.”She smiled at that “Thank you Bom-tori. But I was at your house last week too. It’s embarrassing for me to stay there again.”“Well… why don’t you come with me?” Minji asked her.She contemplated. “Maybe I can do that… hmmmmm… I suddenly remembered… maybe I’ll stay here at the apartment and have some “ME” time.”“Me time?”“Yep” she replied to Chaerin “We all need that right? I mean… I think we need to have time just for ourselves! We’ll be training harder than before and this is like… the last weekend that we’ll be able to do just that.”Bom nodded. “I think Dara’s right. We need to spend this time on our own. This could be our only opportunity to do that.”Chaerin and Minji looked at one another and seemed to think that the two Unnies were both weird. However, they both just smiled.“OK!” Minji declared “Let’s spend this weekend on our own! No sms or mms or any form of communication ok?”They looked at each other measuredly.“OK!” They all agreed and did their “FIGHTING!” cheer.“I’ll see you on Monday” Dara told them.“Clean the apartment Unnie!” Chaerin told her and she wagged her tongue at the maknae.“Ow!” Chaerin suddenly remembered and looked inside her handbag. She took out a familiar looking bracelet. “Could you return this to Ji-oppa? I keep knocking at his door but it seems as though he’s still asleep.”“Uhmmmm… why don’t you just return it to him on Monday?”“Well, it’s one of his favorite bracelets. He specifically asked me to return it today. That’s the first time he ever did that so I’m thinking this might be really important to him.”What could Dara’s answer be to that? Resignedly, she opened her hands and received the bracelet.“Don’t eat everything in the fridge Dara” Bom warned her as the three made their way out of the bedroom.“I didn’t hear you” Dara replied cheekily.Bom puffed her cheeks at her then laughed. “I’ll see you on Monday Park Twin.”As the bedroom door closed, Dara looked at the bracelet. Se7en had given him this bracelet back in the day. She remembered at how touched he was at the gesture but was too shy to show it.She smiled at the memory. “Those were the good old days, you know” she was talking to the bracelet as though it could talk back to her anytime “I miss those days…”

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The second time around

She took her time in the shower. Not only because she could since the other three weren’t around but because she was nervous about returning the bracelet to Ji - most especially after what happened last night.“I’m going to teach that man a lesson” Han had pronounced after their talk at the café. She didn’t want to turn Han against Ji, that wasn’t her intention at all and she’d even told her friend so. But Han had made up her mind. She was furious with Ji’s “immaturity” as she called it.“She could be right about that” Dara thought “This could very well be an act of immaturity.”Stepping out of the shower, she patted herself dry and tried to stall until the moment came for her to return the bracelet.

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Like all things though, her stalling had to end. Dara stood in front of Ji’s door after taking an hour in the shower and two hours just dressing up. She might be angry at him but she didn’t want to look ugly in front of him.The door opened after her tenth knock and she was surprised to see Ji looking woozy and winded. He was almost swaying as he opened the door but his eyes didn’t leave her face.“Anyeong… Uhmmmm… I - Chaerin told me to” she couldn’t stop stammering in front of him. His eyes were bloodshot like he had not been able to sleep at all and he looked like she could topple him down but did he have to still look this good?, she asked herself, unable to finish her sentence.“I need to go back to bed” Ji told her matter-of-factly and she was surprised when he walked back inside his apartment and left the door open with her standing right there.She didn’t know what to do. Was he sick again? Should she follow him to his room and check? He wasn’t definitely looking like he always did - the “You-can’t-touch-this” aura he gave off wasn’t also there - and it was DEFINITELY weird for him to leave his apartment door open like that.While debating with herself, Gaho appeared in front of the doorway and looked up at her.A cold hand squeezed her heart. The next thing to Ji that she was afraid of the most were dogs and Gaho wasn’t really a typically cute dog.Gaho was unmoving and so was Dara. They were both staring at each other and her heart was beating faster by the minute.The dog barked up at her and she jolted a step farther. If Gaho went near her, she was going to run for it.“Arf! Arf!” the dog barked again and she stood still as a statue.“Eh? Do you want to eat?” she asked feebly, trying to act as normal as possible. Her Mama had told her that dogs could sense restlessness and liked attacking those who they felt feared them. She had to stand her ground, she thought.She almost screamed when Gaho lurched at her and she covered her face, unable to runaway as she had previously planned. “Oh my God! He bit me!” she thought.Gaho dragged her inside the apartment and she was surprised to see that what the dog bit was actually the end of her jogging pants. He was now dragging her towards Ji’s room. “You want me to go there???”Of course, the dog did not answer but she knew that was what the canine wanted. “As stubborn as your master I see” she whispered.As Dara entered Ji’s room, she found him slumped on the side of his bed - as though he had just collapsed there. “You can let go of me now” she told Gaho, her fear of the dog disappearing a little “I’ll go look at him.”She reached out to help him get settled more comfortably on his back against the pillows. It took all of her will power to stop herself from smiling at how good it felt to wrap her arms around him.Ji mumbled something loudly that she didn’t catch.“You’re down with fever again” she told him as she propped him with pillows “Did you drink medicine already?”“Not sick” Ji answered throatily.She rolled her eyes “Of course you’re not. Now, stay there ok? I’ll be back with medicine.”It was a measure of how bad he felt that he didn’t debate her statement. She headed for the kitchen and found no dirty dishes - which meant that he had not eaten yet  - and two empty glasses - which meant he’d been drinking water.She rummaged through his fridge and found Orange Juice. They had also left medicine for him the other night they camped here. She looked for those and found them at his kitchen counter - exactly where they left them - untouched.Dara poured him a glass of juice and went back to his room. He had not moved and his eyes were shut. She nudged him a little. “Ji Yong, you need to take this.” As obliging as a little kid, he slowly opened his eyes and swallowed the tablets. “Drink all of this, ok? You need your strength.”He gulped down most of the juice and handed it back to her.“Do you think you could eat?” she asked, full of concern. He shook his head wearily. She put down the glass on his bed stand and pulled at his blanket. “Get some more sleep. I’ll check up on you later.”He touched her hand and looked at her as intensely as he could “Dara?”“Yes, it’s me.”He nodded - seeming satisfied with the answer - and closed his eyes, not letting go of her hand.“Arf! Arf!” Gaho barked from behind her, making her jump up.“Shhhhhh” she signaled to the dog “He needs to sleep… Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”It was pretty much a promise to the dog’s owner as much as it was a promise to the dog himself.