Losin’ that hating feeling

Ji Yong woke up to darkness. He didn’t know how long he had slept but he was feeling better than he previously did. A doctor had come by a few hours ago with Teddy. He couldn’t remember much of what he and Teddy talked about but the doctor had advised him to continue to rest and prescribed a stronger medicine for his fever and cough.He remembered, though, Teddy thanking Dara and asking if she needed help taking care of him. But he didn’t know what she answered.“I hope she agreed to get help” he thought, sitting up slowly and getting accustomed to the darkness. He was all alone, tablets and a glass of water were on his bed stand and his window was slightly open to allow slivers of moonlight inside.Dara could be in his living room, looking out for him still or it might be another person. Teddy could have gotten a nurse. He had just remembered that all of them - BIG BANG and 2NE1 - had been told by Teddy to take the weekend off.“Why didn’t Dara go home?” he suddenly realized.He heard scuffles from behind his door. That must be Gaho wanting to get in. The dog must not be used to seeing Ji Yong just lying down all day. He wasn’t used to it too. He had never been a sickly kid.He wanted to take a peek outside - dying of curiosity whether Dara was still there - but controlled himself. With a clearer head, things were starting to sink in to him and he knew he had to face all of those. Se7en and Han had learned of the situation between him and Dara. It could have only been her who told them that. What exactly did she say? From the look he got, he knew Han was pretty angry at him. He was beginning to get angry at himself too, however, coz he had let things go this far.But how could he help that? This was the best way he could think of to protect himself from her - to make sure she didn’t get the chance to make a fool out of him like she once did. She didn’t look like it but her hand had squeezed his heart and had it bleeding still.He stood up from his bed slowly, feeling whether his legs could finally support him without him falling flat on his face. Taking a deep breath, he let go of holding on to his mattress and was relieved to find that he could stand up. He walked towards the open window and despite his wooziness found he could focus on what he wanted to do. He looked out the night sky and saw the full moon.He was all torn up inside.He wanted to get as far away from her as possible but the whole universe was conspiring against his plan.Now… Dara had been the one to take care of him and he wasn’t so sure how to face her. Could he keep up a cold front after what she did for him?

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This never happened before

He must have stared at the moon for almost an hour - finding some sense of calm inspite of the height of intensity of the battle waging within him.Still feeling slouchy, he couldn’t get back to sleep now his head had been cleared and his stomach was demanding he head for the kitchen. He vaguely remembered that the last time he must have eaten was a day ago.Grumbling its command, Ji heeded his stomach and with deliberate movements, opened the door.His living room was bathed in lamp light and he saw Dara sleeping uncomfortably in his couch, hugging her stuffed rag doll - a toy that he remembered originally belonging to Chaerin. They had been busying themselves with it during practice last week that he lost his patience and tucked the doll in his jeans - much to Dara’s frustration. What did they call it? Was it Tam-Tam or Tom-Tom?He couldn’t even remember whether it was supposed to be a girl or a boy.Dara shifted and her hand fell from the couch. It was then that Ji noticed Gaho sleeping with his blanket on the couch’s foot. He couldn’t help smiling. It was such a cute scene. And knowing how scared Dara is of dogs, it might never get a repeat.He went back to his room to look for his phone and the thickest blanket he owned. Coming back to the living room, he first took a photo of the two sleepy heads and tucked Dara in the blanket. There were circles under her eyes and she looked beat.“”How could you remain angry with somebody like this?” he asked himself, making sure that she was comfortably tucked in. If his condition only allowed it, he would have carried her over to his bed.He was pulling the blanket up to her neck when Dara suddenly shifted towards him and mumbled something he couldn’t understand. He gulped. Her face was so close to his hands that if he reached out, he’d be able to touch her.“Ramen…” she suddenly said and he had to grin, jarring himself back to sanity. Even in her dream, she thought of food. Why wasn’t he surprised?Her hand was still hanging down and with a deep breath, he took it.Electricity jolted through him, stunning him to let go. He looked at her and then looked at his hand. Was she attached to some live wire?More apprehensive than before, he took her hand by her thumb and was pleased to find that she wasn’t pulsating electricity waves. He took her whole hand in his to put it on top of the blanket. Her hand was a little smaller than his, he had forgotten, and it felt soft and warm. He held it a minute longer - unable to let go.Dara, seeming to understand, pressed on his hand. He looked to see if she was awake but she remained sleeping like a log.He slid down near Gaho, not letting go of her hand. It was good to stay like this for a while… just for a while.

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No Words

Somewhere during her sleep, she was running from furious bowls of ramen wanting to scald her. She had kept running away but couldn’t move. The bowls of ramen started to gain in on her and she began to run faster than she had ever run in her life. Then, someone - a hazy figure who looked like the mad hatter in Alice’s Wonderland - grabbed hold of her hand and the bowls of ramen disappeared.She was whisked off to a place full of fluffy pillows and the ramen bowls were friendly.It was one of the weirdest dreams that Dara ever had.Opening her eyes, she instantly reached out for Tam-Tam. Her eyes widened when she realized that Ji was sleeping right beside Gaho, on the foot of the couch and he was holding her hand.“Ommo!” she said aloud, blushing to the very roots of her hair “What is he doing here? And why is he holding my hand?”Seating up, without letting go of his hand’s hold on hers, she also noticed that she had been tucked in a blanket. Could he have - ? Isn’t he sick? When did he move here?Dara looked up the wall clock and found that it was already 4:00 AM. She was supposed to wake up at 3:00 AM to have him drink his medicine!Rubbing sleep away from her eyes and making her hair look as decent as she can, she inhaled and exhaled for three times before slowly positioning herself to seat beside him. She went as far as their linked hands would allow to not disturb Gaho.He wasn’t as harmless as she thought but he was still a dog.“Ji…” she slightly shaked him and squeezed at his hand “Ji Yong…”“Mmmmmmm…” Ji mumbled, his eyes opening slowly.“You need to drink your medicine” she told him, fully shaking him up “Come on…”Ji looked at her in disbelief as he realized that they were holding hands. He looked away immediately but didn’t let go.“You’re awake” he said.“I am” he was blushing to his roots and she wanted to scream at how cute he looked. It wouldn’t do, though. He seemed at least back to normal - except for not letting go of her hand, though - she had expected him to break off the contact.“Next time” he began “don’t sleep without a blanket on. It’s beginning to get cold and you could get a chill.” His voice sounded off-hand but Dara couldn’t stop her heart from beating so fast. Except for that fight they had in Happy Land, this was the first time that they talked with a semblance of how they did back in the day.“I wasn’t supposed to sleep that long” she explained “I had my phone on alarm for you to be able to drink your meds.”“I already took them” he answered “I turned off your alarm so you could sleep longer. You look worse than I do. I didn’t tell you to nurse me.”Why was she not taken aback by his reaction? Here she was full of concern for him and he told her that it was her fault. So typically Kwon Ji Yong. “I cannot look worse than you” she answered, baiting him “You look like a shipwreck survivor.”Now, he looked at her. “Have you cooked anything? I went out of my room coz I was hungry but you were sleeping.” He didn’t acknowledge her jibe.Raising an eyebrow, “I cooked soup.” This man, she thought, would never want to lose. And yet again, he had delivered another blow to her. So confusing! He wanted me to sleep longer and is now blaming me sleeping that’s why he had to go hungry?!?!He stood up, grabbing her hand. “Serve me the soup.”“Haisssssh!” she muttered behind him “Ordering me around like a maid.”“You do look like a maid” Ji answered and sat down at the kitchen counter with Dara in tow.“Let go of my hand” she retaliated “I need it to work.”He let it go and hid his hands under the counter “Have you been working around a farm?”Taking the soup from the fridge, she laid it down the stove and looked at him haughtily. “No. Are you going to make a jibe about my hands? If you tell me they’re rough, I’m going to pour this soup on your head!”“I wasn’t going to say anything about your hands at all. Why are you so defensive?” he asked her back.“You aren’t sick anymore are you?”“I don’t think so” he answered “but I think I’m having a bad dream.”“Kya!” she exhaled and stopped stirring the soup “I’m going back to my room!”Ji stood up from where he sat and spread his hands out. “You’re not going anywhere” he told her.“You can take care of yourself” she answered.“Do you want me to tell everyone that you left your very own Ji-sunbae all by himself while he was sick to death?”She looked up furiously at him. “You’re not sick to death at all. And they won’t believe you. I’ll use my aegyo on Big Bang-sunbaes and the girls know I never leave someone sick.”He laughed aloud. “Your aegyo? On Big Bang? It’ll never work.”She wagged her tongue at him but he just dismissed it.He remained standing with arms raised “You’re not going anywhere. You owe me a lot, you know?”“What are you talking about?” she asked, more confused as time went on.His eyes became very serious as they focused on hers “You owe me for something that you did years ago.”“Huh?”“I don’t want to talk about it anymore but the thing is, I’m letting go of all of that and I want us both to begin again. We used to be really good friends. Let’s be good workmates too, ok?” He put down his arms and walked towards his chair “What are you doing standing there? I need my soup.”