I took a few seconds to stare into the journal itself. I felt like it wasn't my place to read it. I was her daughter. She was my mother. We were connected. But I didn't know who she was. This was her way of extending a hand out to my reach. These were her true words. This was all she could do with the resources and amount of time she had. She wanted me to read this.

I had to. I had to continue reading and overlook the pain I felt in my heart.

Dear Sophia,

I just snuck out. My hand is trembling as I write this. It's only a matter of time before he notices that you are gone. But I do not care. I am ready to face any punishment he is going to give me. And so is your father. We agreed on giving you away. We knew it was for the best. It was something we had talked about from the start.

My tears are not stopping right now. And I have no intention of making them stop. These tears are what show that I have an ounce of humanity in my cold body. They are the only thing that stands as a sign to me that I am not an emotionless being. Your father bravely arranged a carriage to whisk the two of us away to a far away kingdom—so far that not even he can find you. It's to the Kingdom of Seoul. It is the kingdom in which my dear friend is about to rule. I have yet to ask your father why. Why did he choose that kingdom? And why did he insist that I bring more necessities? I'll write it here once he tells me, alright?

I'm going to take this time to tell you everything about me. I hope that when you read this, you will be old enough to understand my actions. And please, my baby, forgive me and your father.

I am Aurora. I am currently frozen at twenty one years old. Why so young? Well, I was fool a long time ago; and I had taken the blood of a man I loved whom I was sure had loved me in return. I've been twenty one for about six years. Since I cannot show you what I look like, I will describe myself to the best of my ability. I am rather tall and fit with olive skin. I have long flowing, wavy, and chocolate colored hair that stop near the bottom of my back. My hair and eyes are the same shade. I take after my mother in that sense. But I have my father's personality and temper.

Getting onto the subject of parents, I am sure you are never going to meet your grandparents. It's not the best thing for me to try to explain right now, given my mental condition is not at its most stable. But it must be done.

You, my little Sophia, are the sole heir to the Kingdom of Akore. We are one of the two oldest living vampire families in the world. The other being the family of the Seoul Kingdom also known as the Woo family. Now... here comes the tragedy, please bear with me. Our family has done a lot of bad things. They have sacrificed a lot of people to get the amount of power they held. And with cruel ways of achieving such greatness, comes enemies. And these enemies would not stop until our entire family was destroyed. A horrible night, years ago, was when it happened. Our entire family, all of my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, everyone, they fought valiantly against the others. We were ambushed. It was clear what the objective of that night was: to completely destroy our lineage. Now me, I was just a kid back then. I was in no position to fight. My only mission that night was to survive. I hid in the shadows of the night, as instructed, and watched as each member of my family died.

My mother's death is one that I will never forgive anyone for. She... she wasn't from the Akore kingdom bloodline. Her kingdom is a small one from a land so far away. My father and her met during a banquet and were inseparable ever since. My grandfather, also known as my father's father, was a ruthless man. He took control of many kingdoms and left many families in ruin. It was almost that time, when you pass down the crown to your lineage, and my father was just about to be king. My parents looked to try to change what my insane grandfather had done, what our ancestors had been doing since the beginning of time. They wanted to be the start of a new generation. My father was simply influenced by my mother's kind heart. He wanted to prove to her that not all vampires were vicious monsters. The three of us always talked about being able to walk out in public and not be afraid of dying or killing someone. It was a dream. It was our foolish dream.

That night, my mother had rushed into my room. She hid me in the secret passage in our palace, so I could run to the safehouse they had built. I insisted her and father come with me. But they wouldn't. They told me they couldn't. In the midst of the insane chaos, I wrapped my tiny arms around them for the last time. I felt their embrace around my little body, and yet I couldn't find myself to let them go. My mother lifted me up, as my father pushed the bookcase aside. He lifted a small section of the floor, right underneath the bookcase. It was a passage way to that safehouse. She placed me into the hole in the ground and kissed my forehead for the last time. Her words still linger in my mind. She told me to be brave and never ever turn back to return to them. And then they covered the hole once more. That was the last time I ever saw them.

I did walk all the way to the safehouse, and stayed there for years. I completely changed myself at that point. I cut my hair to above my shoulders and bleached it intensely until it became a blonde. I knew I was the only one left. And I had to stay alive, to live out my parents' legacy. The first place I went to was Kingdom Seoul, to see that dear friend. He barely recognized me also. He said that something about me had changed, and that if I hadn't pulled him to the side and tell him who I was that he wouldn't have known. That made me feel safe, at least no one could hurt me then, right?

I had no family for that year, and I frequently visited the Vampire Hunter Headquarters. That's where I met a man named Professor Victor. He said that he could help me, for he had found out who I was. An absolute brilliant and observant man he is. I agreed and so, he took me under his wing. I learned a lot about vampires, humans, all sorts of creatures from every land. He told me about their weaknesses and their strengths and what's applicable to what.

It's getting dark out now; I apologize for not being able to tell you more about myself at this moment. I hope you are sleeping well, my dear angel. I dropped you off at the front gates of his kingdom. You weren't crying, just peacefully sleeping in your basket. I had covered you enough, so you wouldn't get cold. That moment broke my heart, turning around and leaving you like that. I wasn't sure if anyone would find you, if he would step outside of his palace to meet you and care for you. I hope he had done so; he was the only one I could trust. I will converse with your father even more in the morning.

Dream of happy things, and don't forget. Mother will always love you.

Dear Sophia,

The sun is just rising at this moment. I had the most vivid dream last night. I'm not sure if it was a dream or just my imagination. But I know one thing, it was a memory. Vampires don't dream, we don't even to sleep. Silly, right? But this... vision, let's say, caused me to cry tears of sadness.

It was of yesterday. I was holding onto the basket for dear life, for I knew that you could cry at any moment and cause a lot of attention to be drawn to us. Or maybe it's because I didn't want to say goodbye to you. All I know, I was torn and still am. At that moment, tons of thoughts raced through my mind. I contemplated dropping you off at the orphanage, a random house, or delivering you personally to my dear friend. I knew I couldn't face him, my heart would crumble the moment I saw him. So the last option was impossible. I didn't want to leave you with some awful people who wouldn't give you enough love and care. So the orphanage was out of the question. I also didn't know what kind of families were in this kingdom, and didn't want you to be abused or grow up unloved, and so leaving you at someone's doorstep was also impossible.

At the last minute, I placed you right at the palace gates. I knew you wouldn't be missed that way. I left you a little letter, and hope that someday you will read it. It's one that I truly spent a lot time on and so did your father. You were sleeping so soundly in the blankets. I kissed you on the forehead for the last time, and held you in my arms. It reminded me of saying goodbye to my own mother. I knew at that moment, the amount of pain and hurt and regret my mother had felt in her choice to sacrifice herself for my well being.

Creeping onto the carriage, it was your father's friend who brought me to the kingdom. And he was surprised to see me. I didn't understand why, and so I pestered him for the longest time about what he meant. He told me that he had bags of necessities and clothes for you and I, so we could live happily here. That shocked me. Your father, the idiot man that he is, had arranged for me to live here with you. He was going to take the fall himself. What kind of person would do such a thing... This isn't his burden to bear. This isn't his problem to face alone.

Just a few minutes ago, he walked into my room with a dagger. He was planning to kill himself alone. Humans, my love, are such interesting creatures. They are willing to sacrifice everything, and I do mean everything, for the people they love. I guess that's where humans and vampires are alike. No matter how many examples someone can use to say that vampires are ruthless creatures who only want to attack the defenseless; the one thing we have common is our ability to love people with all our being. When he finally noticed me, he nearly screamed. He wrapped his arms around me and merely wept in my arms. His words echoed in my mind, continuously calling me foolish and insane for coming back. I told him I couldn't leave him here. I love him. I will always love him. He showed me that regardless of one's history, the future is all that matters. That's merely one of the few things that made me love him the first place.

But in reality, he isn't the only one I love.

I hear someone calling my name. It's the Professor. Until next time, my dear. Remember, Mother will always love you.

Dear Sophia,

I told you as much as I could about my childhood. So that means it's time to tell you about my years after my family's death. This is something I never thought I'd tell anyone, because it's quite silly. It's something that shows how naive I was back then.

Let's start from the beginning. My dear friend and I have known each other since our births, technically. He is the eldest son of the king of Kingdom Seoul. His name is Tablo. We grew up together, with a simple fact: we were to wed eventually to merge our two ancient bloodlines together. To bring such old and skilled families together, that would make us unstoppable. And a lot of people wanted both of us, either to wed or to be dead. Both of us accepted that fact. We didn't hate each other. His father and mine were business partners, until well, my grandfather got greedy. He plotted to take over Kingdom Seoul and all its assets. Foolish chose to make, right? I presume that Tablo's family had led the attack that night. Hunters were used to slaughter every member of my family. And only his family controls such skilled hunters. I never got to ask him, not like he'd confess anyway. 

After the incident, he and I lost connection—I was in hiding for years. When I visited him after my physical transformation, he thought I was someone else. They never saw my body, and so people thought I was... well, kidnapped and tortured in a way. He wasn't king just yet, but in the preparations of it. That's when he confessed to me. He thought that I had died and seeing me again brought his heart to a whole different plain. He told me he loved me. I was quite foolish to believe such a lie. We agreed we would get married and start a whole family together. He promised me the world, a whole new beautiful one where I won't be afraid to step outside or even live. That's when he willingly gave me his blood and I became a full fledged vampire. My special ability: I can manipulate one's thoughts. I can make people believe they are seeing full illusions. But that weakens my body so much. After I was turned, the following day to be exact, Tablo started to act a bit odd. He avoided me. When I finally got a hold of him, he was so cold to me. He treated me as if he didn't know who I was. We got into a horrible fight, one that caused me to rush out of the palace in tears. That was one of the only times I ever cried: the first saying goodbye to my parents, and the last saying goodbye to you.

He had pushed my away so far in a matter of hours, that I ran into your father. He was holding a box of fruit and I had pushed him down by accident. In that moment, he had said that I was familiar. And he was familiar to me too. I realized that I had seen him before, in my old kingdom actually, where I always saw him running around outside of the palace gates. He told me that I shouldn't be alive, and I knew what he meant. I shouldn't be a lot of things actually. That night, I spent the entire time with him. He asked me how I lived and why I came here.

I don't know how to explain it, but I told him everything. I confessed that I came back because of a lost love. I told him that I was truly an immortal being, a vampire. I told him that I was lost and alone. And all he did after that, as I cried my heart out, was wrap his arms around me. He told me that I shouldn't go through things alone. I thought he'd run out of the house screaming with a cross, to be honest. But he didn't. Your father is really someone that I admire. He is one of the bravest people I've ever met. He is truly a loving man.

My hand continues to tremble. These headaches have been getting worse and worse. I know I hadn't mentioned them before, simply because I thought it was due to departing from you. But they are truly starting to bother me. As a vampire, I should be able to turn them off; well, I can. But I don't want to. Pain is something that humans feel. Both physical and mental pain shows one's true colors. This... pain... it shows that I'm not really a heartless being right?

Your father is coming by today with a few books I had asked him for. They are of the experiments conducted on us—you, me, him, and the other families. I want to do some research before doing something insane.

And don't worry, our secret has not been discovered. Remember my special ability? Well, the Professor believes that he sees you every time he passes by our room. I have to concentrate so much during that time, but I really am quite skilled at it from all the years of practice I guess. In the last living moments of all of the women and men involved in the same experiments, I forced their minds to think happy thoughts. I created illusions in their final moments, in the hope that they'd pass on with a smile. I wanted them to feel a sort of happiness that they could no longer have, since they sold their souls to the devil himself.

Your father is here. It's time for us to start reading. I wonder how you're doing. Take care of yourself and remember, Mother will always love you.

Dear Sophia,

These headaches I've been getting, well, they're due to the experiments. Even my immortal body couldn't handle the torture for long. My body is slowly deteriorating. Due to the constant applications of medicine and just constant experimentation, I am dying. How stupid for an immortal person to die. I feel like I've let you down. I feel like I've let your father down. I should be able to live forever. That's the whole reason of having transformed into a full vampire in the first place. I should be able to stay by your side.

Why am I incapable of it?

What sort of extreme measures had been done to me, for my immortality to be destroyed and for me to slowly deteriorate? I don't even want to know. Your father had stormed out of the room as soon as we read it. He's angry. And me, well, I'm disappointed. I had promised your father to look after you once I got out of here alive. Since vampires don't have much weaknesses, and that Professor isn't in the best physical shape, it would be easy for me to go. But I refuse to any time soon. I know your father, and without me around, he'd probably do something irrational and stupid. And with my body in the condition that it is in, I can't leave right now. It would be suicidal to do so.

I wonder how you're doing right now. I hope that you are eating well and adapting to your new family properly. It's bright and sunny outside, well from my room's window it is. I'm not sure about your side of the world. I wonder if they kept your name. I wonder if you are showing your vampire attributes or if you are purely human.

You probably know by now, but your father is human. And I am a vampire. You are one of a kind. The good thing about you is, you have the human characteristics. You smell like a human. You have tan skin and blushing cheeks like a human. I can feel your heart pump warm blood through your body like a human. Everything about you just screams humanity.

But I'm sure that you are going to have the unbelievable beauty of a vampire, just like my mother.

The one thing I am afraid of is when you are older. You will have vampires going after you. Since you have vampire blood flowing in your veins, yet you fully represent a human, it will be nearly impossible for you to escape boys trying to court you or families trying to kill you. I am sure that there will be a way for you to activate your vampire half—and you will be able to live forever as a full vampire. You are going to have to abandon your human side. But this is entirely your choice. Do it when the time is right. Don't make a foolish decision like your mother.

Your father has returned. And the Professor sounds angry. I wonder what is going on. Don't forget, Mother will always love you.

Dear Sophia,

The Professor has found out. I'm sorry my love, but my entries must be brief from now on. I am in constant surveillance. He rushed into the room yelling and screaming. Your father tried to hold him off. I was caught off guard and so I didn't have an illusion running. We have locked him out of the room and blocked off as much as we could so he couldn't see inside.

Your father and I are panicking. The windows are barred and so we cannot escape. And the door is the only other way. The Professor is probably going insane right now. You were the pride of his scientist life. Well, until you escaped. You are free and I hope you stay that way forever.

My headaches have returned and my hunger lingers. Your father is the only source of food I have and I refuse to feed off of him. It's not fair for him to endure such pain. And he is getting weak also. I hope by tomorrow, we have a plan to escape.

But for now, we are cautious. It's been five days since I last saw you. And I miss you so. It's only a matter of time before I see you once more, right?

Remember, dear Sophia, Mother will always love you.

Dear Sophia,

Your father and I have come up with a plan. This is the sixth day since I said goodbye to you. We have agreed that as long as one of us survives and watches after you, then that's all that matters. It's not me who is going to live. It's your father. He believes that he's going to be the one to die actually. But I'm going to sacrifice myself to the Professor. I am dying as I write this. I am the one candidate that is more likely to die from the both of us. And I am better at creating distractions.

We are executing it tomorrow.

My abilities are weakening and my body is slowly crumbling in my place. My head feels like someone has repeatedly bashed against it. I've coughed up blood a couple of times already. And your father feels powerless. I wish he didn't feel that way. He is doing all he can. He is amazing. And I love him so. He's secretly tried to feed me his blood for power. But of course, being the hardheaded girl I am, I said no. I promised to never feed on a human. And I intend to keep that promise until my death.

Your father is currently sleeping on my lap. Good thing I had a few boxes of food under my bed hidden whenever you got hungry at night. He looks so peaceful. I want to hold him for the last time tonight. I want to feel the warmth of his body.

My headache has returned. It's time for me to retire to sleep once more. Wish me luck. Remember, Mother will always love you.

Dear Sophia,

I am going to hide this journal in the bottom of your father's bag. He doesn't know anything. Actually, your father is still sleeping. What a sleepy head right? I'm trying to make this last entry as personal as possible.

I can't believe it's been a week already. I wonder how beautiful you are now. I wonder how you are doing. I wonder if you are loved. Times like this... I feel like a failure. As your mother, aren't I supposed to protect you until I see you get married? What kind of mother am I? I am not even going to be there for you to learn your first steps, speak your first words, meet your first friends, fall in love for the first time, cry over a stupid boy for the first time, to see you get married, or when my grandchildren are born. My tears aren't stopping anymore. This will be the last time I cry.

I know my condition is getting worse. The headaches are causing my own head to believe that I am seeing things. Simply, my power is going against me now. At times, I've been hearing your crying voice in the corner of the room where you once slept beside me. Or I'd see a child, one who you'd look just like, walk across the foot of my bed. And my dreams, my dreams are of memories. They are of all of my memories. It's like I watched my entire life once more. I remembered my mother and father, Tablo, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, everything. I recalled all the fond memories I spent with my parents. I saw all of the smiles, laughter, every kiss and hug exchanged between me and Tablo. I recalled every experimentation I lived through. I remembered it all.

It's time for me to say a lot of things that I've held back. I hope that some day, some wonderful day from now, you'd be able to forgive me. I hope you know that I love your father. He is absolutely brilliant and the bravest man I ever had the pleasure to know. Once he finds something that he loves, he will not let it go so easily. He is willing to give up everything for those he loves, especially for the two of us. The moment he found out that I was pregnant with you, he was so ecstatic. Your father spent most of his days with us, if he wasn't out working. He liked holding you in his arms. He'd always sing you these beautiful songs. And play with you to make you giggle. I'm sure he's going to be that protective father, one that won't let you have any fun. But I hope you understand his point of view. You are a special little girl, and well, you're our special little girl. But... no matter how wonderful and perfect your father is, my heart isn't fully his.

I'm sure you've guessed by now, but my heart is still in Tablo's hands. But... from what the Professor has been rambling on for years. He's fallen in love with a human also. I think that's why he pushed me away. He probably realized what sort of choice he had forced upon me and backed out last minute. I wonder what kind of person she is to steal his heart so wonderfully. I wonder if he has kids of his own. I always knew he'd make an excellent father. I bet all of his kids will have his romantic personality and wonderful smile. I hope so.

I wish I knew why. I wish I knew why he had pushed me away so far, so quickly that day. I wish I knew what caused it all. I wish I knew why he still held a big chunk of me. I wish I knew if he still thought of me. I wish I knew why he didn't reply to my letters, or my final one at least. I wish I knew so many things regarding him.

All of this pain I feel in my heart, it's because of him. That one man. That one guy. That one love of my life. Why can't I let him go? People say, once vampires fall in love—deep, crazy, head over heels, you are my whole life—sort of love, then it's impossible to fully forget them. And I feel that. Oh, mother feels that so.

I hope that human, whomever Tablo married, is loving him as much as I do. There's not a moment in the day where I don't think what if. But... I'm glad. Don't for one second, believe that I regret being with your father. Your father is the best escape I could ever ask for. He showed me what it feels like to love someone and be loved back but in tenfold. Your father deserves so much more than I could offer. That's why he  must be the one to look over you. These two men really hold a place in my life and my heart. And I hope that they somehow, enter your life and influence you for the better.

I do not regret falling in love with your father. I do not regret having you. I do not regret saying goodbye to you. I only regret one thing, putting my trust in someone who promised me the impossible. Please, my love, don't be as foolish as me. I have been a naive person and have not learned from my mistakes. And your mother is truly paying for the consequences. I wish you hadn't felt the after effects of my choices. You don't deserve any drop of pain. You deserve all the happiness and joy in the entire world, from the heavens above.

It's time. It's time to wake your father. It's time to kiss him for the last time. It's time to fool him.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what's going to happen. I'm afraid of your future. I'm afraid of what sort of crazy things I'm going to have to endure. I'm afraid of you not being able to see any one of your parents. I'm afraid of not being able to hold you once more. I'm afraid of you thinking that I didn't love you. I'm afraid of not being forgiven.

I want you to know that I will always watch over you. I will always be by your side. Watch over your father and love him as much as I do. He may not be perfect, but he's the best for us. Remind him every day that I love him. Remember, Mother will always love you.

Her last letter broke my heart. You were wrong, Mother. Father didn't live. You and Father... you sacrificed yourselves for me. I don't know what happened afterwards. I don't know what sort of hell you had to go through. But I do know one thing, you did it all for me. You both loved me so much, that you let me go just so I would live. And if that didn't scream your feelings for me, I wouldn't know what did.

All of her feelings and her true words made me linger in my thoughts. Her relationship with Tablo came into the light. Even in the end, she loved him. She always did. But she had so many questions. My mother truly cared for him and always thought of him every second of the day. My family's history also was revealed. My parents were going to be the change. If only they had waited a few weeks, they being the attackers, then I'd be living a whole completely different life.

And, my parent's attempts to keep my alive is merely being destroyed by the same thing that stripped my mother of her immortality. I was dying. Their sacrifice was for nothing. And it seems like nothing can stop it.

I cause nothing but pain to those I truly love the most. And as the tears run down my face, my hand traces the same line. She repeated the same thing every single letter.

Remember, Mother will always love you.I know. I can feel your love.

"I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss you and father so much," I wept in my seat. My entire soul had been broken. "I do forgive you... Please don't think that I would never do so. How could I not? You gave up everything for me. I love you. I love you both."

As I closed the book, I felt three envelopes in the back of the journal. What else was there for me to read?

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The emotional chapter! I'm so glad that you guys responded well to me being gone T______T I've regained my inspiration and nothing seems to be able to hold me back now. As promised, an emotional chapter. Remember how I said it wouldn't be that boring anymore? well, it's not boring. right? 

A lot was revealed in this chapter. and i hope it made you guys feel the love. I didn't want it to be perfect, but more of letters from her mother to Sophia. Did it make you cry? It made me tear up a bit ;w; //sobs//

Tell me what you guys think! Please! I want to know how I did with this chapter :3 Thank you so much! I'll be back to answering comments next chapter :D Mkay~