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Part 28: Moving On

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Kim Residence
1 week and 5 days ago

“...en the door! GODDAMINT!!!”

There was ruffling of sheet that were not heard over the loud knocking of the door. A messy head of copper brown hair rose from the bed
and looked at the sleeping male on the other side of the bed.

“Baby, tell your mom to shut up please... I’m having a head ache.”

There was no response but soft snores as the knocking on the door continued.

“KIM JONGHYUN!!! Open the goddamn door or I’ll get the ing keys and break in!” the person from the other side of the door shouted again as the incessant knocking continued for a few more times. The sound seemed to reach Jonghyun’s ears because he finally stirred, the sheets slipping off of his back. A pale hand reached towards it and traced random circles over the tanned skin.

“Baby, she said she’ll come in of you don’t open the door.”

The singer shifted from his current position and rolled to his back, exhaling audibly as he moved his stiff muscles.

“Ah... seriously?” he mumbled, looking towards the direction of the door. Sighing once more, he stood up from the bed in all his glory, ignoring the hand the reached for him and the invitation for another round. He grabbed the bathrobe on a chair and slipped it on.

“If I were you, I’d put on some clothes.” He said off handedly as he tied the belt of the bathrobe loosely. As if on cue the door opened and Hyunae barged in, fists clenched at her sides and cheeks slightly flushed from all the shouting that she did.

“What is wrong with you?!” she almost screamed again as she pushed her elder brother by his shoulders.

Jonghyun just shook his head and sighed, turning his back from Hyunae and walking to his mirror to inspect his face or something that would remind him of last night’s activities. When he found none, he ran a hand through his now silver blonde hair. What was he thinking again when he had it bleached? He blew at his bangs and it just fell back on his forehead.

“You’re one to talk when you’re the one who barged in someone else’s room without their permission.” He replied calmly as if his sister didn’t come in his room where he had been doing stuff with a random girl who has pale white skin (not as white not as soft as his), long wavy hair (that he was sure was full of chemical to make it look presentable) slanted eyes (but not as alluring as those feline like eyes). In short, she can’t even compare.

“Jonghyun oppa...” Hyunae sighed. “Talk to me please.” She walked towards him but he chose the moment to turn towards the bathroom and walk in there.

It annoyed Hyunae to no end. Her half brother was not like this. “This” person was not the Kim Jonghyun that she once knew. She closed her eyes, bit her lip and clenched her fist at her sides in pure annoyance.

“Just what the hell are you doing to yourself, oppa?!” she wanted to shout and kick the bathroom door until she could bring some sense back into that dino head. But now seemed to be the wrong time. And she still need to him because she knew that he would be the only one to bring her Hyun oppa back and all the missing pieces.

She exhaled through and turned to the still very girl in the room whose body was covered with the sheet.

“Please just get dressed and go away or something.” she said tiredly, a hand on her petite waist while the other pointed around the room randomly, shooing her away.

The stranger who was in the middle of reaching for her bra while holding the covers around her body almost jumped at the sudden attention and followed Hyunae as instructed.

“Could you please turn around for a bit?”she asked Hyunae after she got all her clothes.

Hyunae had the strong urge to roll her eyes at her and just push her out of the house, with or without clothes.

“Just get dressed! Goddamnit!”

With that, the girl did jump a little as she hurriedly put her clothes on. Good thing it was a side zip dress or Hyunae might have really pushed her out.

She walked towards the bathroom door once the girl was out of the room and knock on it.

“Oppa, please. Let’s talk. Umma and appa are really worried about you.”

When she heard nothing but the shower running, she sighed and made her way out of the room.

Hyunae walked to her own room and grabbed her phone. She scrolled through the list of names and stopped at a name that she’s not really familiar with. But this was the least she could do for her brother.

She didn’t know if she would have preferred the voice mailbox or to talk to the other directly. However, she was not given too much time as the call was answered and the deep male voice asked for her to identify on the other line.

“Uhm, yes, hello. This is Kim Hyunae.”

“Sorry, I am not familiar. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yes, actually that’s why I called.” There was no response so Hyunae continued. “Can we meet today at a café in town. It’s really important and I want to talk to you in person.”

She knew she sounded desperate and there’s no point denying it because she is.

“Sorry miss, but I don’t really know who you are and why I would be involved with something important like what you said.”

“Please Dongwoon-ssi. You’re the only person who knows where he is.” Dongwoon didn’t really utter a response but the younger girl was sure that she heard a small gasp in the other line. “Please, I can’t just watch my brother waste his life like this. Please. I know he’s just doing this to cover up his loneliness because of him. So I’m begging you to help me.”

She was so close to crying. She could feel the burn of the oncoming tears on her eyes, but she refused to let them flow. Her voice cracked the slightest but just enough to let the male feel her desperation of his help.

Dongwoon sighed and thought about it very briefly. He didn’t even need to try so hard to conjure Kibum’s fake smiles, blank stares and lack of life in his mind’s eyes.

Even if Kibum would try to act all happy and lively whenever he visited, he knew it was all just his front. And as much as he hated Jonghyun for doing what he did to Kibum, he also knew all too well that the only way for the younger male to redeem himself would be having a closure to their... whatever it was.

It hurt Dongwoon to see Kibum like that. it hurt that his smiles won’t reach his eyes anymore, nor would those eyes sparkle with mischief or amazement over simple things. They were always full of life but after that day it was as if Kibum was losing life.

And maybe he was.

They said people can’t live with just half a heart.

“Dongwoon-ssi?” the girl asked because it had been silent for a while now and she was really desperate and nervous.

The male cleared his throat and sighed again. “Okay.”

“Really?! Thank you! Thank you so much!” Hyunae had to bite onto her lips to keep herself from squealing too much. “So, what time can we meet?” she asked eagerly.

“Wait. No.”

“What? Are you backing out?!” she panicked because, no, Dongwoon was her only way out. Their only way out.

“No. I don’t mean backing out. I’m still going to help.” He paused and thought of the words to use. “I... I want to talk to Jonghyun instead.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’d want to see for myself if he still loves Kibum... if he is still worth it.”

The next day, Hyunae sat on a corner of a very cozy café, her eyes staring intently at the carved names on the table in front of her. Her lips pursed in a thin line, brows furrowed and her hair set in messy curls as she had been thinking maybe a little bit too much.

“Wait. So, you are telling us that this Dongwoon guy know where Kibum is?” Hyunae nodded and reached forward to grab her mochaccino.

“But he won’t tell where unless Jonghyun would talk to him?” the other male sitting across from her asked, and she just nodded again.
She sighed and placed the drink on the table.

“But that Dino won’t even talk to me! He won’t pick up his phone and he didn’t come home last night! His mom is really worried and although appa doesn’t show it, I know he is too. Appa is the one who asked me to talk some sense to Hyun oppa.”

“Is he still getting his life wasted with that new hobby of his?” Minho spat, obviously annoyed with the situation that they were in.

“He is. And he doesn’t even care that Umma and Appa see him like that.”

“Why don’t we just go to that club that he goes to later tonight?” Jinki suggested, wheels still turning in his mind. “I’ve heard he always goes to the same bar every night. Then we can talk to him... and, I don’t know, indirectly tell him that he could still get Kibum back?”

“Hyung, are you talking about the underground club in Gangnam district, that Black Propaganda club or something?” Minho asked, trying to get an idea of how things could happen later on. When the eldest, nodded, he snapped his fingers and immediately scrolled through the contacts in his phone.

“What exactly are you excited about now, Keroro?”

“I have a friend who works as a bartender there and we could confirm if Jonghyun hyung really frequents there. Plus, if that Dino Boy does, that we can ask for her help to inform us if he is there.” He explained hurriedly as he was waiting for the other person to pick up from the others line.

“Ne, yeoboseyo?”

“Noona! It’s Minho.” The drummer greeted, they went on with a little chat about how they were doing while the other two were just looking at the younger male expectantly.

“Ah, yes, that’s why I called, noona. I wanted to ask if you still work in Black Propaganda?” Minho was silent for a while as he listened to her and proceeded with the questions that were really needed to be asked.

When their conversation ended, Hyunae was biting on the straw of her drink nervously while Jinki was try to think of other ways to probably get Jonghyun out of his self destruction.

“The plan is on. Noona said he’d usually be there by a quarter to ten.”


They decided to come earlier than the time Jonghyun was supposed to come. But they seemed to enjoy themselves more than they should have because the moment they spotted Jonghyun, he was making out with a girl on the dance floor.

Minho was the fastest to react as he approached his hyung and tried to get his attention by tapping his shoulder and calling his name. The elder halted his little business with the girl to turn to him, but when he realized that it was Minho, he just glared at the younger and went back to what he was doing. But Minho was persistent, he tried to get the other to talk to him.

Hyunae and Jinki were standing in the dance floor too by that time but still on the outer part where the crowd of dancing bodies end. Both were as nervous as they were also as hopeful that something good would turn out from this. But it all shattered when Jonghyun pushed Minho and snarled something at him that was drowned by the loud bass of the current song.

The young drummer was fast to return it though and was able to push the elder back, maybe a little more forcefully which made the latter stumble back. Rage could be seen in his eyes as he grabbed Minho’s collar but was stopped when one of those bulky security personnel of the club pulled them apart.

Two others came and lead both males outside to settle everything and to avoid causing harm to other people. Hyunae and Jinki following immediately.

“What the is your problem Minho?!” Jonghyun pushed the other again as soon as the bouncers were in the club again.

“You are my ing problem! You and your stupidity!” the younger spat at him and pushed him back.

The vocalist laughed at that and the other three looked strangely at each other thinking if Minho said something funny. Jonghyun just scoffed at them, his heels and started walking off.

“YAH!”

The next thing he knew, he was sprawled on the concrete with a cut on his lip and a bruising cheek. His half sister ran to his side and helped him sit up while the eldest male pulled Minho back.

“Do you need me to punch you one more time to clear your head?!” he shouted as he glared at Jonghyun. “If this is your attempt of moving on then you are doing it all wrong! Even if this is your attempt on making Kibum jealous, then you are just wasting your efforts because he isn’t here anymore to watch you destroy yourself!”

Jonghyun stood up and refused to let Hyunae help him even if he was a little wobbly on his feet. Maybe it was the alcohol and the punch from Minho, but they would never really know.

“Bluffing now are we, Keroro?” he spit blood out and wiped his busted lip. “You know nothing!”

Now it was Minho’s turn to scoff at the other. “Maybe I don’t, but Dongwoon surely does.” He said smugly.

Hyunae visibly flinched on her spot beside Jonghyun when the information was out. While Jinki whispered something to Minho and tried to calm him down.

“He knows where Kibum is. But with what you are doing right now, maybe you could just run along and think of another way of getting him back.”

“Who even said that I want him back?!”Jonghyun asked incredulously. He was about to further deny it but he felt a smaller, colder hand reach towards his clenched fist.

“Oppa, please. Just stop this.” She sounded exhausted as she tried to loosen that grip and open his hand. “No one may have said that, but your eyes are screaming for him. Even if you hide behind this character, we know that you still love him. That you really love him.”

“Jonghyun-ah, we can always help you if you need us. But you also have to help yourself.” Jinki said as he and Minho walked closer to the half siblings.

“I’m not asking for your help! I don’t need any of you!” he pulled his arm away from Hyunae forcefully, causing her to stumble forward and fall on her knees. The vocalist was not able to notice since he has turned to walk away again.

“Kim Jonghyun!” Jinki said his name in a way that Jonghyun felt like he was being scolded. The younger turned to tell him to  off because he had enough of all these. And why can’t they just leave him alone? But it got stuck in his throat when he saw Minho ran to his sister’s side and helped her up. Good thing she was wearing flat shoes because she might have sprained an ankle if she was wearing heels.

“You okay, Baby Doll?” Minho asked her when she got back on her feet.

“Yeah. I just scraped my knee a little.” She offered him a small smile but she couldn’t help but bite her lips when the initial numbness wore off.

“Look what you did!” the drummer turned to Jonghyun with an intense glare and Hyunae thought he’s gonna punch her brother again. So she reached out and pulled at Minho’s wrist.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” and he turned back to the vocalist with the same fiery rage in his eyes. “I’ve had enough of your selfishness! You tried taking your life and since we won’t allow you to do that again, you’re ruining it every chance you get! Do you even know that you’re hurting all the people who care about you? Or are you too busy sleeping around to even notice that there are still people who worry about how you are doing?! Of course you don’t, because you’re selfish and you’re a coward! You’re too much of a coward to face Kibum and own up to your faults! You’re too much of a coward so you are running away and hiding between the legs of different girls!”

“That’s enough Minho.” The eldest male said in a calmer but still firm voice. Jonghyun was standing beside him, frozen on the spot.

“But it’s true! Aren’t you gonna run away now? We are not going to stop you anymore! Come back when you are ready to face  all the consequences of your actions.”

Hyunae kept tugging at Minho’s wrist and convincing him to stop, that it was enough and that he should calm down. She knew that Minho looked up at Jonghyun as his elder brother, because he doesn’t have a good relationship with his real brother. And just like her, she knew that it hurt him to see Jonghyun like this.

“I... I’m sorry.” Jonghyun mumbled, eyes casted to the concrete of the parking lot.

“You better be!” Minho whispered under his breath and he received a glare from the girl beside him.

“It’s gonna be okay now.” Jinki gave the vocalist a pat on his shoulder and an encouraging smile. Then he turned to the still fuming drummer. “Minho.” The youngest male sent him a perplexed look and he just replied with a tilt of his head towards Jonghyun.

“Fine... Sorry too, hyung... for uhm... that.” he pointed to the bruise forming on the vocalist’s face.

“I kind of needed one. So I guess, it’s fine.” he groaned a little when he tried to test his jaw further and Hyunae went to check the damage, not really minding the slight stings on her scraped knees.

“Well, we better go home and fix you up. Umma and Appa are worried about you.”

 

Black and Brew Café
1 week ago and two days ago

The little bell on the door chimed as the male with silver blonde hair entered. It had been a while since he last visited the place. Well, it had also been a while since he was able to think with his brain and with his .

He missed the warmth of the place and the familiarity of everything to him that’s why he asked to meet here. What he did was stupid, he just made everyone around him worry. What was he even thinking?

“Right. I wasn’t.” he thought to himself as he sat by the counter, noting that the person that he would meet with was still not there.

“Jonghyun-ah!” said boy turned to the voice behind the counter and greeted the elder male back.

“Ah, look at you! I thought you’re some idol because of that hair.” He commented as he ruffled Jonghyun’s already messy locks.  “Where’s that cute boyfriend of yours that I kept hearing about from the others? Aren’t you going to let this hyung meet with the boy who tamed the mischievous dinosaur who carved on my table?” the café owner asked with a playful tone.

Jonghyun smiled bashfully and reached a hand to his nape. “I...uhm... we had a little misunderstanding and this is me... trying to get him back.” he replied hesitantly.

“Aigoo~ I shouldn’t have asked.” Jungsoo sighed and gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder. “But I know you’ll get him back. Don’t give up no matter what, okay?”

“Of course, hyung! Actually, I’m here now to meet someone who can help me win him back.”

They talked for a while more until the bells chimed again, making both males turn to the door. Jonghyun raised a hand to call his attention and turned back to the counter.

 “That’s the friend that I have to meet, Jungsoo hyung. I guess I’ll just talk to you later?” the elder nodded and Jonghyun hopped off the bar stool and walked to Dongwoon.

They decided to order something first and went to a usual table in the quieter corners to discuss the more serious matters.

Dongwoon asked him about the bet, Jonghyun told him that it was real but he didn’t agree to do it.

Then about the incident in the dance room. Jonghyun didn’t deny it either, the little scars on his hand could be proof enough, but he explained what was happening in his mind.

Then the younger asked about the rumors about him sleeping around. Again, Jonghyun said the truth.

“Why aren’t you defending yourself, hyung?” Dongwoon asked. “Admitting all of those doesn’t make your reputation to me any better.”

“But that’s the truth. I’ve hurt too many people around me already and the least I could do to repay their efforts in helping me realize stuff is by being honest and owning up to my mistakes.” He explained. “Denying them, or trying to sugar coat them wouldn’t make them right. Would you rather have me lie about it?”

“No. But—”

“Don’t worry, Dongwoon-ah. If you decided to tell me where Kibum is and I happen to get to talk to him, I won’t do anything that would hurt him. In all honesty, I don’t think I would ask him to take me back. I’ve already caused him enough trouble.” Jonghyun sighed and placed his clasped hands on the table. “Kibum, I love him so much I don’t even think it’s healthy. But I’m not gonna plead to him to forgive me. I’ll just talk to him to let him know how sorry I am.”

There was a heavy silence between the two as the café lightly buzzed around them. Dongwoon was thinking through the words that Jonghyun said and he only found sincerity in them. Sincerity and regret. Maybe they really need to talk and put an end to all this pain, because they’re both hurting.

Maybe...

Dongwoon raised his head to say something to Jonghyun but at the same time, the slightly older male spoke up first.

“It’s okay. I would understand if you wouldn’t want to tell me where he is. The things I’ve done were unforgivable. I actually hate myself for all of those. But thank you for coming here today.” He stood up and gave a bow to Dongwoon. “Maybe I’ll just try my luck in finding him.” he gave one last polite smile and turned to leave.

“Kibum is in Daegu.”

 

Daegu
Now

It was still the early parts of the evening but the sky was as dark as it would have been during midnight, the heavy down pour not helping at all. Kibum was glad that the electricity was back and he could distract himself with some good Disney movie and warm milk. He was just setting up a little fortress of pillows, a mattress from the spare room and warm duvet in the living room (as he was that eager to relive some of his childhood) when he heard someone ring the doorbell.

He thought it was just some kids playing pranks on him so he ignored it.  But whoever it was, was really persistent and even knocked on the steel gates. Kibum huffed and blew at his bangs (the movie was about to start) and he stood up to get the door. He would have checked through the gate monitor but the heavy rain somehow destroyed some wirings, thus, it was not working. And so he went to walk through the small muddy path and opened the front entrance.

“Can I help you with—“

Oh how Kibum would have been happier if it were kids playing pranks on him. Or maybe he should have listened well to his parents not to open the gate without knowing who was knocking. Because it was the last person on his list that he would want to see at the moment (or maybe forever) who was standing there in front of him, hair dripping and clothes almost as soaked in the rain.

“Sorry to be so much of...”

But he was not recognized yet, right? He could just close the gateway on his face and pretend that no one rang the doorbell and he didn’t walk in the rain to answer it.

“Bummie.”
Or not.

Closing the gate on his face was still a great idea thou. And so Kibum did it. Or tried to, at least.

“Wait! Kibum! Please!”

Then he was standing there on the small muddy garden with Kibum under the umbrella.

“Please, Jonghyun, just leave me alone.” His voice trembled as tried to push the other outside again. He was so close to getting the other out of his mind, so close to getting him out of his life and there he was, standing so close to him, even holding onto the handle of the small umbrella.

“No. Kibum. Just this once, please.” Maybe it was the proximity or maybe it was the time that he spent not hearing Jonghyun’s voice that it sounded strained and hoarse to his ears. “I’ve searched all over Daegu for you and all I’m asking is for you to give this moment tell you how sorry I am. Please.”

He was ready with a sharp retort of how he did not ask anyone to find him but the coldness of Jonghyun’s hand on his and chatter evident on his words made him bite his tongue.  He is not too heartless to let someone out in the cold like this. “This would be the last time.”

Then he turned around and walked back into the house, not even waiting for Jonghyun to share his umbrella with. And all Jonghyun could manage was a faint smile on his trembling, purplish lips. He tried his best to follow Kibum inside the house immediately because the younger might change his mind and lock him out if he was a second slower.

The warmth welcomed him as he stood dripping by the door, Kibum nowhere to be seen. Jonghyun debated on just going in and finding the younger himself but decided not to because he didn’t want to make mini pools on the polished wood. In the end, he tried calling out to Kibum, but his voice failed him twice. He was about to try again when a fluffy white towel was shoved into his face.

“Go dry yourself in the bathroom. I’ll lend you some clothes. It’s just down the hall to the left.”

Jonghyun said a muffled thanks and wobbled his way to the said bathroom. After a few more minutes, he returned to the living room now wearing one of Kibum’s sweatpants and that white v-neck shirt. He found Kibum sitting on the floor with lots of pillows.

“I didn’t know we’re having a slumber party.” The singer tried to lighten up the atmosphere but the crack in his voice didn’t seem to help at all.

The younger sent him a glare but looked away immediately when he visibly flinched.

“You can sit down on the floor or remain standing there, whatever you like.” Kibum shrugged his shoulders dismissively, hoping that his cold front would somehow put out the hope in the other male’s eyes (not that he looked at them, really). “Just get on with whatever you want to say and go back to Seoul.”

Jonghyun inhaled deeply and sat in front of Kibum. He would have wanted to sit beside him and steal some warmth but he didn’t want to push his  thinning luck.

“I know it is too much to ask after all of the pain that I’ve caused you...” Kibum was about to cut him but Jonghyun beat him to it, hands waving hastily in front of him. “No, no! I’m not asking you to forgive me. I mean, I can’t even forgive myself from doing all those things to you.” he chuckled dryly, his eyes cast down to his hands that were now resting on his criss-crossed legs. “I’m not asking you to believe everything that I’m about to say, either.” Kibum could see the bitter smile on his pale lips and he wanted to take his words back and just get Jonghyun out of the house. Was he doing this to make Kibum guilty and actually forgive him? “All I’m asking is for you to listen. And then you can throw everything away.”

As if none of it happened.

Then Jonghyun raised his head and looked at his eyes. There was still hope in them, and sincerity, and regret, and honesty, and pain, and longing, and love. Kibum bit the insides of his cheeks, he had to stand his ground.

“Then wouldn’t it be a waste of my time? If you want nothing from me but to just listen to you, then what am I even going to get from it?” he asked defiantly.

“I’d rather tell you all the details myself that have you hear its distorted version from the others.” Before I leave, was what he wanted to add, but chose not to. “The least I could do is be honest with you. You can even say that I am defending myself so I’d get clean with everything. Whatever you want.” he sighed, and Kibum noticed how his shoulders were hunched and how dejected he looked without traces of his playful, sometimes cocky demeanor. “But I want you to know why I did what I’ve done.”

There it was again. That bitter smile. It just seemed more broken every time Kibum sees it.

“Then go on. I don’t have all night.”

“Thank you, Kibum.”

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a/n: that was 5,000+ words, believe it or not.

well, this isn't a birthday update for Key...because tell you honestly i'm so ing heartbroken because of his musical. yes he's so ing hot and manly as he'll ever be in there but no. just no. i can't take the sensual stuff and all the touching. god. i think i'm gonna cry again.call it business or whatever.but no. i still don't like it.not that i'm turning my back on him, i just don't like it.but congrats to his 3rd stage tonight. yeah.wahtever.

but yeah, i hope you enjoy this update. here comes the drama~

again, hi to the new subscribers and readers! welcome to the mess that i've created ;__;
to the old readers, hi? i hope i didn't take too long this time D:
 

special thanks to  SiMpLyJustine for giving me and this fic a chance and recommending the fic~!!! 
if ever you found my story in other fic recs, please tell me so i can thank them properly.

comment your thoughts? everything something not clear? i'll reply when i get some free time (and decent wifi connection).

i'll go sleep now. not really feeling well. OTL

take care of yourselves everyone! stay healthy! ♥

photo by ~ pauloPHOTOGRAPHY @deviantart