- - -

Part 24: Don't

- - -

Rain still poured even more harshly as they cuddled next to each other on the daybed* in the veranda. Kibum held the mug with his both hands, enjoying the warmth that it gave but not as much as having Jonghyun by his side.

“Jonghyun-ah? I’m home.” They both heard a woman’s voice call.

Jonghyun smiled and looked into the direction of the house. “I’m in the veranda, umma.” He called back and Kibum tensed a little. They both stood up and he placed his half-full mug on the glass table before turning around to where Jonghyun was facing.

A young looking lady emerged from the house. If Kibum heard it right, she was supposed to be Jonghyun’s mom but she could pass as his older sister. He bowed and greeted her politely and she returned it with a warm smile.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Why don’t you have dinner with us? Jonghyun’s appa would be home soon.” She said and Kibum couldn’t decline. “Good! Then I’ll leave the two of you for a moment.” And she went in the house again.

“What did you told everyone about me? Even your friends in the coffee shop knew about me.” Kibum asked as they sat back on the daybed.

“Oh, nothing. Maybe I just mentioned you a couple of times.” Jonghyun denied. He went back to sipping his hot chocolate hoping that Kibum would let it pass. And he did.

It was not long when Jonghyun’s dad arrived. Kibum met him before since Hyunae asked him to accompany her in delivering the cake that she bought for her appa, so he was not that uncomfortable with him anymore.

The dinner was anything but silent since they talked about many things while eating. Jonghyun’s mom was a lawyer so she asked them about their opinion on things but it was just a light talk, sometimes Jonghyun would even joke about it and they would laugh.

“Kibum-ah, I think you should just spend the night here. It’s getting a bit late and it would be hard to drive in such weather conditions.” Director Kim said over dessert.

He glanced at the window and saw that the rain just got harder. “Ne, I’ll just call my mom later.”

Once they finished eating Jonghyun pulled Kibum up stairs. They walked to the far end of the hallway where Jonghyun pulled the both of them in. There was just a soft glow of light in the room when he closed the door.

Jonghyun plopped on his bed; arms spread wide, eyes closed and lips parted as a contented sigh escaped. Kibum was still standing by the door way, a smile playing on his lips as he watched his boyfriend —just thinking about it made him blush— laze on the bed.

His eyes surveyed the room which he just saw for the first time. The walls were painted light apple green and cream. The circular bed was on an elevated platform at the right side of the room which had a semi-circle wall with no windows. The wall was made up of big white and sometimes green and black puzzle pieces* that served as the lighting of the room. Black and white bedside tables* were on its either sides. There was another semi-circle divider by the foot of it that gave the illusion of a round room. The left part of the room was almost empty aside from a study table pushed to the wall, a shelf* of CDs & other stuffs and a square CD player* mounted on the wall beside it. And what took his attention the most was the glass wall across him that gave a good view of the swimming pool* and garden below.

“What are you waiting for, standing there like an idiot? Tch.” His eyes traveled back to Jonghyun who had supported his upper body up with his elbows and was looking skeptically at him.

“YAH! I’m not—”

“C’mere.” Jonghyun said with a playful grin as he patted the spot beside him. He laid down again waiting for Kibum to go to his side.

Kibum puffed his cheeks and blew his bangs before he made his way to sit on the bed. He crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Jonghyun.

“What?!” Kibum snapped, because Jonghyun had that suggestive smile and silly twinkle in his eyes. And he couldn’t hide the fuzzy feeling in his stomach since his cheeks were getting redder and redder by the second.

Without any warning Jonghyun sat up and pulled Kibum in a sudden hug which made them fall on the bed. The younger let out a shriek which sounded anything but manly while the older just laughed like there’s no tomorrow.

Kibum began hitting Jonghyun on the chest and kicking his legs. “Let go! Let go! Let gooooo!!!” he whined to no use.

The laughter died down to chuckles and Jonghyun caught his hands in an iron grasp but not too hard to hurt him. Then Jonghyun switched their positions and straddled the younger on the bed.

“Aren’t you being a little whiney?” Jonghyun said as he looked down at Kibum. “You want me to baby you some more?” he whispered huskily on Kibum’s left ear where he had just a recent piercing. The younger on the other hand, was not able to stop the shiver that crawled on his skin and the soft whimper that escaped his lips.

“And a little bit sensitive too, I see.” Jonghyun remarked and he teased Kibum further by blowing on his ear. Another shiver run through his body and goose bumps covered his arms.

“Y-yah!” his voice was shaky and even if he wanted to push Jonghyun away, his body wouldn’t cooperate. His breathing was starting to get uneven and he felt that his heart could just burst out from his chest.

Jonghyun hovered above him again and they stared at each other when Kibum felt something burst from inside of him because once again he got lost in Jonghyun’s eyes and his scent enveloped them like it was air itself. He raised himself up and kissed Jonghyun on the lips, his skin felt hot but cold all the same. Jonghyun kissed him back and on his lower lip. He opened up and they fought for dominance. There, he proved that the ‘cherry stalk myth’ was true. His hand reached for the back of Jonghyun’s neck and pulled him closer, Jonghyun obliged and pushed his chest on Kibum. With the contact, Kibum moaned into the kiss and Jonghyun swallowed it.

“I love your voice, Babe.” He murmured on the younger’s lips when they pulled apart. “But don’t do that again. I might not hold myself back anymore.” He warned because his pants just felt much tighter and he knew it was not because he ate too much at dinner.

“But I don’t want you to hold back.”

It was as if a switch was flicked on and they shared another passionate kiss. Hands roamed for more touch, tongues battled for dominance and clothes were carelessly strewn away. They were flushed when they separated, lungs a little more labored as if they ran a marathon and the bed was a disarray of covers, pillows and tangled limbs.

“Are you sure about this?” Jonghyun asked as he kissed Kibum’s knuckles. “We can still stop if you want.” He trailed butterfly kisses up his arm and shoulder. “I don’t want to hurt you.” he said as he nuzzled his nose on the dip of Kibum’s collar bone. “I love you so much.” And he claimed his lips again.

“I trust you, Jonghyun.” His hand caressed Jonghyun’s face and Jonghyun leaned in the touch. He placed his hand on Kibum’s and pulled it towards his lips,

- - -

Kibum woke up with a cold and empty space beside him. He had to blink a few times before his vision cleared and was able to verify that he was indeed alone on the room. Pain shot through his spine when he sat up and he blushed furiously after the pain dulled a little. He ran a hand through his tousled hair and looked around the room, there were clothes strewn on the floor and it made him blush deeper. He moved his legs to the edge of the bed and grabbed his boxer which was lying by the foot of the nightstand. Kibum grimaced a little as he slipped the piece of clothing in place and stood up in wobbly legs. He then wore the nearest shirt that he could reach which covered almost half of his thighs. He inhaled the sweet candy shop scent and smiled.

He walked out of the room and was about to call Jonghyun when he heard other voices and obnoxious laughter coming from down stairs. His bare foot padded almost soundlessly against the hard wood stairs and he hissed on his first few steps but managed to make it all the way to the kitchen in one piece.

“You are so gonna get it later Kim Jonghyun. And you have the nerve to leave me alone without any note. You just wait you Dino.” He murmured as he poured himself some cold water. He took big gulps; he didn’t know he was this thirsty. After finishing almost all of it and having it refilled, he decided to look for Jonghyun. Since no one was in the living room when he passed by a while ago, he assumed they were in the veranda. So he made up his mind to go there and hopefully find the person that he was looking for.

When he came closer, the voices were clearer and he recognized Jonghyun’s voice and some of their classmate’s.

“Man! I didn’t know you were really into guys!” Kibum had a bad feeling about this so he stayed hidden behind the wall which served as the only thing that separated him from the group of boys.

“So how was he? Was he good? He looks hot when he dances with the group! And that , dude! It’s better than most girls in school!” another guy exclaimed and some else joined in on asking Jonghyun. Kibum was still standing with his back on the wall. He felt something wet and cold touch his bare feet and realized that he was clenching the glass of water tightly and its contents were spilling because he held it on his side horizontally.

“And here I thought I’m gonna win this bet because you seemed to not make any move. But you just waited for the vacation to get into his tight pants, didn’t you? Damn it! I should have known!” and there was more laughter. Tears spilled from his eyes. He felt dirty, so ing dirty.

Why was Jonghyun not saying anything? Did that mean that he was really just some petty bet? Some random ? Where did this leave him now? Was he just some children’s toy that would be thrown away after use?

“Did you do it rough with hand cuffs and blind folds? You think the can still walk after last night?”

“Wow! I didn’t know you were into that kink!”

His knuckles were already white and he could already taste iron in his mouth as he bit on his lower lip. Then he heard the sound of glass breaking followed by silence. And that was when he regained the feeling on his legs and he decided to walk back to the room, get his clothes, go away and never come back. His hand stings and he could feel something sticky dripping from it but he could care less, he wanted to get out of this place, fast.

“Kibum! Yah, stop! ! Your hand is bleeding!” he heard that voice that he loved so much but he ignored the calls as he walked up the stairs. He opened the door with his good hand. He’d have to apologize to auntie later for causing all the mess on the floor. He slipped into his skinnies with difficulty since he was just using one hand.

Oh screw the blood stain! I don’t have time! And he hooked his right hand’s index finger on the belt loop—inhaling sharply when he moved the slightest— and pulled the garment all the way up. He heard banging on the door, good thing he locked it immediately when he entered. He then pulled the shirt over his head, staining it with a lot of blood too. He bent over and fished his top from the other side of the bed and put it on hastily but still making sure that he wore it correctly.

With his phone in his pocket he grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.

“...open the— Oh thank God Kibum! Listen, please, you had it all wrong. Let’s get you to the hospital first, then I’ll explain okay?” Jonghyun said as he blocked his way out. He looked like he was about to cry but Kibum just regarded him with an emotionless look. The singer raised one hand and reached out to Kibum.

“Don’t touch me.” Jonghyun froze because never had he heard Kibum use that tone. It sent chills on his skin and with that blank look on the younger’s face, he could just stand there and watch him leave.

- - -

Kibum walked down the streets like he just rose from the dead. But he didn’t care. He wanted to stop caring so that the pain in his chest would also stop. But it was stubborn like the tears that were trickling down his cheeks.

He walked with his head low because he didn’t want to see the stares that people were throwing on him. Maybe they were concerned on the barefooted boy with bloody hands and clothes walking on the streets. Or maybe they covered their child’s eyes because they thought that he was a murder or a psycho on the loose.

Ah no.

Maybe they were whispering to their peers, mocking him because he was a pitiful little that deserved what he got.

Yes, that’s it.

But he was not pitiful. Not one bit.

He’s just a dirty little .

“Kibum?” he heard that person’s voice through the speaker of his phone. He sat under the tree in that same park when tried to avoid him. In other circumstances he would have laughed at how silly and childish he had been, being jealous of his own sister. Or he might. Haha.

“Hey Kibum... are you crying? What happened? Are you okay?”

His knees were pulled up towards his chest, his injured hand cradled in between further staining his pants and shirt with blood. Would the stain come off when soaked in warm water? Damn! It was his favorite jeans.

“Y-yah! You’re making me nervous! Tell me what happened.” The caller tried again but all that came from Kibum’s mouth were broken sobs.

He didn’t even know how he got there or how he managed to call someone, but he didn’t care.

“I’m lost...

... please find me.”

- - -

a/n: and so wrote a very long disoriented a/n but then again i got logged out so it was all gone.ALL GONE! seriously, this day is not good for me.urgh.

but, serously, i'm sorry for taking so long. and for giving you crapy updates, like this one.

photo by: liajedi @deviantart