KIBUM's POV

It has always been contagious.

DongHae's emotions has always have that ability to creep into my own system that makes me feel the same as him; if he is happy, I feel twice as happy as him, if he cries because of a stupid fish movie, I find myself tearing up because of it as well no matter how many times I tell myself that it's not even that sad. If he's annoyed I get pissed off by everything that's not DongHae and we'd just scream each other's lungs off outside the balcony. When he's into a fight with someone, I find myself wanting to punch that person in the face.

For the years we've been together as best friends, I've felt all the emotions DongHae could muster. I felt the happiness when he aced his piano performance. I felt the sorrow when Heechul's cat, Heebum, ate DongHae's clown fish. I felt the fury when some girls are backstabbing him just because the new guy at our school in States had the hots for him. I felt the childishness whenever he wants to buy a new plushy to add to his collection. I felt the giddiness whenever he gets sugar rush. I've felt it all.

And yet, not all of them.

Closing the fridge after getting the pack of chocolates. I've kept a stock of them just in case that kid of a best friend of mine decided to pop out of nowhere. DongHae's have that habit of coming to my place back in States. And when he does, all he would do is rummage in my fridge for any sweets. One time, I did not buy any chocolates or any forms of sweets on purpose, he kept whining and whining to me and eventually, I just had to buy him loads of it since he threatened me he'd cry.

And I've always been a er for his tears.

I let a soft chuckle leave my lips before I get the tray and retreat back to my room.

As I climb up the stairs leading to my room, images of a crying DongHae made its way back to my head and I could feel my heart clenching. The moment I opened the door for him, seeing the tears sliding down his cheeks, his red eyes, his laboured breathing---it was a sight I never wanted to see ever again. And I really hope that that's not what I would see once I pushed the door open. But then, what he saw was much much more confusing---and surprising.

DongHae was at the middle of my bed, sitting down with that teddy bear I got from him as a birthday present when I turned 15 on his lap with his arms around it, the television was on and a movie was playing; a cartoon. I let my eyes wander around the room; his bag was on the couch, his shoes placed neatly beside my shoes and his jacket was hanged on the chair. The scenery was quite familiar, and yet something felt wrong. Something was not right.

My head snapped back to the other person in the room, however, when that said person let out a small giggle. It was faint, yes, but still a giggle. And I would have been dumb and completely useless as a best friend if I didn't notice that despite the giggle, it sounded lifeless. I walked towards my bed where DongHae was busy watching what I recognized as the Brave animation. I placed the tray of sweets on the table and he finally looked at my direction. When I faced him, I didn't like what I was seeing.

He's smiling.

"Bummie," DongHae spoke and moved a bit to the side to make some space for me as I joined him sitting at the middle of my bed. "Is that chocolate?" He asked, tilting his head to the right for a bit and I gave him a nod. His smile widened and he crawled to my side to reach out for the sweets I prepared for him and when he's got it, he returned to his original position. We were quiet, just the sound of the movie and I didn't utter a word as I could feel my best friend stuffing himself with whatever candy he is eating. A few minutes passed, and I shifted my position and leaned back on the headboard, still sitting down but my eyes landed on DongHae's back. He is just---quiet and continuously eating and I didn't like how he's acting right now but I decided to shut my mouth and wait until the film ended.

"Hey, can I watch another one?" he asked me when the credits of the first movie are rolling. Turning his head and giving me an expectant smile, a chocolate stain was at the corner of his lips and he is looking at me innocently; that would have made me said yes. But I didn't.

"No."

He pouted. That same old cute pout. The ever-powerful Lee DongHae pout that no one could ever resist. And yet, it seemed different. It was the same person doing it, the same person who is known for it, the same person who always suited that look but it doesn't feel like the same person at all. I don't like this; I do not like what he is doing. I don't like what is happening at all. Not being able to control myself, I grabbed DongHae's arm, causing him to drop the bowl of gummy bears on the bed, and pulled him towards me. He landed beside me with a groan but I ignored it as I wrapped my arms right around him, making his head fall on my chest and I just held him tightly.

"Kibummie," he spoke, "is something wrong?"

"What are you doing, DongHae-ah?" I whispered in his ear, holding him closer.

"Umm---I'm watching and eating?" he asked dumbly and I clicked my tongue in annoyance because I know what he's doing. How could I not?

"Don't. Just---don't, Hae. Do you honestly think I won't see what you're doing?"

"I'm not doing anythi---"

"Yes you are!" I finally raised my voice, not being able to keep my cool because he is lying to me, damn it. He is lying to me, his best friend for a long time. How could he think he could lie to me of all people? I released my hold on him, placing my hands on both sides of his face and forcing him to look at me straight into my eyes. "Stop lying to me," I told him and I watched as he closed his eyes and dropped his head.

"I'm sorry. I just---I didn't want to---I don't want---" he started and I saw how the tears started coming out of his closed eyes and I leaned in to kiss it away before replacing it with my thumb, wiping away those tears off his face.

"Shhh, Hae. It's okay. Just---let it all out," I told him gently, making him sit in between my legs and wrapping my right arm on his waist, while the other was caressing his head as I guided it to rest on my shoulder. His body is trembling and soon, he is starting to breath in a laboured manner and I just---I can't stop hating myself for making him hurt like this. For not able to do anything to prevent the pain he is feeling right now. For not being able to protect him from the person who caused this. Because I know, even if he doesn't tell me, that this has all something to do with Lee HyukJae. The image of a smiling and blushing DongHae at the rooftop of the school came across my mind. He's been so happy, I could tell. When he told me that his husband said that he might be falling for him, I literally saw how his eyes twinkled, how his voice sounded so soft yet genuine happiness could be detected, how his cheeks were tainted with that beautiful shade of pink, how his  entire being seem to emit that happy aura.

And I can't believe how it was only yesterday, and now here he is, crying over his broken heart. I clenched my fists, feeling that anger dwelling somewhere deep in my chest.

"KiBum-ah," a soft voice cut me off from my thoughts of how to kill that monkey bastard as I hummed in acknowledgement.

"Stop thinking bad thoughts. I know you are," he said, placing his hand on my closed fists and soothing it with his own hands and I let it relax from the warmth I am receiving. "I know you are thinking of how to get back to him, Bummie, but just don't."

"Why are you defending him?" I hissed in a low tone.

"I am not."

"Then why don't you get revenge? Make him jealous. Get a boyfriend. Maybe YunHo is the best guy for that since he practically drools over you, anyway. So just go and be with YunHo and make that bastard jealous and show him you can go off without him, Show him you could survive just fine because you are beautiful and you deserve the best and he is obviously not. Show him how you could be happy with everyone---anyone but him. Show him that you don't care about him and his of a girlfriend. Get even. Get revenge and---"

"And what?" he cut me off.

I let myself breath evenly, calming my nerves as I tell him the last words of my sentence, "just be happy again."

"It doesn't work that way, KiBum," he started and I felt a shiver as he uttered my name. This tone he rarely uses. The tone that doesn't seem to match his childish personality and yet, it was the tone that has always been right. It is the voice of a matured DongHae.

"Getting a boyfriend and having a relationship won't change anything, because whatever I do, we are still married," DongHae spoke.

"But he's with that IU! Why can't you be with someone else when he is having another party?" I argued, my blood starting to boil as I recalled the faces of those disgusting couple.

"That's not a valid reason for me to have a boyfriend of my own. Besides, Ji Eun-ssi was his girlfriend first before he was married to me," he said and then, another one of those lifeless chuckles escaped his lips. "So technically, I am the other person; the third party."

"Donghae, don't---"

"No, Bum. It's true. And no matter how I look into this relationship we had, it will always be like that. I will never be the first for him. I will never be the one in his heart. And no matter how much I wanted to have a boyfriend that's not him, I can't. I can't because I don't want to be in a relationship just so I could get over him. I never wanted to use other people like that. I wanted to have someone who could make me happy, so happy that I could erase him from my mind and my heart. I want someone who could fill in the spaces. I want someone to be always there. I want someone---someone who I will love forever."

A pause and I didn't utter a word because DongHae is pouring his heart. I know he is. The way he talks, or the way he reasons out everything. I have to listen because I know, I am certain this is his true feelings.

"And I know this is pathetic but right now, the only person I could picture in my head when I mentioned those words is HyukJae's face. He caused me immeasurable excruciating pain and yet--- and yet he is the one who could make me happy, the one who could fill in the empty space, the one I wanted to be by my side, and the person I will love forever."

My breath hitched from his words. Those soft-spoken words that came from his heart. I've never seen or heard him like this; so sad, in pain and yet so in love.

The ticking off of the clock was the only sound that surrounded us, letting ourselves be comforted by the stillness of everything.

"KiBum-ah, what are you thinking?" DongHae asked.

"I'm just---what are you planning to do now?"

"I---"

"You?"

He lifted his upper body that was leaning onto me before he twisted a bit so that he could face me before he said, 

"I just want to get over him fast."