I see my old self crying. I see my old self in a dark red graduation gown, two huge flower bouquets in my arms, my face scrunched into what I had hoped was a smile. I see Daeyoung Oppa standing beside me, his arm around my shoulders.

I remember Kyuhyun taking that picture and telling me to smile, despite the streak of tears that was hideously running with my makeup.

December 12th 2010, Nayoung’s Graduation, is what’s written on the white space under the polaroid picture.

I remember one day I asked my brother why he suddenly had this weird hobby of taking pictures of me. People with photography hobbies would normally snap pictures of natures, the surroundings, the night view of the city, pretty much any spectacular objects that would catch one’s eye.

But my brother only takes pictures of me. Only me.

Hyukjae Oppa finally told me they had this agreement after I nearly killed myself in a car accident a few years ago. An agreement where Daeyoung Oppa would keep an eye on me for him while he was gone, but not to let me find out about it. Hyukjae Oppa, while he was away from me, just wanted to make sure I was safe, not killing myself, healthy and breathing.

That’s where Daeyoung Oppa began to snap pictures of me; the pictures meant to be the ‘authentic proof’ of my wellbeing. Sometimes I was aware when the camera was directed at me, sometimes I wasn’t. And when I wasn’t, that means I was crying or simply moping. I rarely smiled in the first few months after he left.

But little did I know that those pictures would eventually be sent to an address where Hyukjae Oppa resided in America, every month. Every single month in the six years where I thought Hyukjae Oppa was leaving and forgetting me, he was keeping an eye on me through my brother.

What really amazes me is how Daeyoung Oppa couId keep in contact with him behind my back in all those years – to the point where he could keep Hyukjae Oppa informed about pretty much everything about me – and that it went completely unnoticed by me.

And the flowers, the beautiful dresses, the Christmas and birthday presents... how could I have missed the thought that they were all from Hyukjae Oppa? I should’ve known better when suddenly Daeyoung Oppa would give me dresses and flowers and chocolates.

My brother loves me, yes. But definitely not to the point that he would frequently waste his monthly allowance on pricey presents for his brooding little sister. I should’ve known better that only one person would do that for me.

I feel my throat clog up and in attempt to ease the overwhelming feeling, I release a shaky breath and lean back onto the warmth that is my boyfriend’s upper body.

“I always wondered why in my every birthday and graduation Daeyoung Oppa always gave me two flower bouquets.” I feel his hand my hair while his other arm tightens around my waist. “But now I know why.”

I can feel him smile as he drops a light kiss onto the top of my head. I don’t ask him why he didn’t attend my graduations or birthday parties even though he always gave me flowers on each one – in the name of Daeyoung Oppa. I didn’t ask him why he didn’t want me to know that he had, in fact, been there for me all the time, even in the six years where I went through all the worst nightmares I could imagine. Because the answer must be the same.

“I didn’t want to give you something tentative, Nana. I didn’t want to be selfish. Six years is a long time. You could achieve anything you want. You could meet any friends. You could meet a person, another man that could give you what you deserved. You didn’t deserve uncertainty, and at the time uncertainties were all I could give you.” Was his answer when I asked him why he told Daeyoung Oppa not to tell me that the peach dress on my birthday party was from him. “Daeyoung could be calling me any time and telling me that you’ve finally found the one that could give you happiness. Everyday in six freaking years I braced myself for that. But fortunately the call never came. Maybe I am really selfish, after all, because frankly, I’m very happy to find that you still haven’t found another man until I came back to your life.”

I only smile up at him and caressed my fingers on his cheek at the answer.

Selfish? He must be kidding. He’s the most selfless person I’ve ever met. He could’ve tied me to him and claimed to everyone that I was still his while he was away. But no, he didn’t. He truly wanted the best for me, even though that would make him seem selfish in the process.

And that’s what makes me even surer that he’s the Mr. Right for my life.

My finger slides across the wide screen phone – where he kept all the pictures of me in the six years of his absence – and the picture changes to my picture with Kyuhyun at the hospital. He’s wearing a green surgeon attires, completed with haircap and handscone, grinning and making a piece sign along with me. My arm is curled around his. I remember it was the day of his first surgery.

I hear Hyukjae Oppa exhale quietly behind me.“Sometimes I thought he was the one. He’s really good to you. He’s very patient when it comes to you, and he’s a friggin’ genius.” Hyukjae Oppa groans. “He’s a doctor, for God’s sake. And he is the heir of one of the biggest hospitals in Seoul. I couldn’t point out his flaw if Daeyoung were to tell me that Cho Kyuhyun was going to be your suitor.”

I turn my head to him, looking up with a grin on my face. “I think your stalking ability can easily rival FBI’s.”

“And he can hum better than me,” he says frustratedly, as if I didn’t just say anything. “I hear his voice is really good.”

“He was the vocalist in his band in high school.” I nod in a greement.

He groans. “See? I was anxious for a reason.”

“Yes, but for a ridiculous one, if I might add.” I laugh and kiss his cheek. “Kyuhyun is my best friend, Oppa. Just a best friend. Not the love of my life. Not the spark of my heart. Not you.” I look into his eyes, vaguely reminded of my lunch with Kyuhyun today, and hoping everything will stay alright. But the thought is only a flash in my mind because something before my eyes is amusing me to no end. I burst into giggles. “Ohh, now you’re blushing.”

Hyukjae Oppa coughs into his fist, reddening even more. “Hey, you’re evil.”

“And you’re blushing.”

“But you love me.” he grins.

“Ture. And you me.”

“Yes.” He laughs, his voice soft and velvety against my hair. “So much.”

And just like that, I can safely say that this is one of the best mornings I’ve ever had in my 24 years of life.

Except for the fact that in the afternoon, I am going to face the very best friend of mine who has been avoiding and ignoring my phone calls and messages because he’s claimed that he was in love with me.

I think the things that we dread would always feel like it’s coming too soon, because afternoon quickly comes unfolding and I find myself in front of the restaurant where I’m supposed to meet Kyuhyun.

Hyukjae Oppa was rushing out of Sora Eonni’s apartment because apparently he had a meeting at nine in the morning. He has handed his babysitting job to Donghae, who came just a few hours ago to the apartment to meet his chatty niece. It only took the pair of cousins to bicker like two five year olds, and then Donghae was agreeing to babysit Chaeri. For a brief moment it truly felt like I was surrounded by three five year olds in the living room if only I could ignore the heights and broad, muscle-y bodies of the two boys bickering over Chaeri’s pretty little head. It was indeed a very amusing interaction.

Shaking my head and smiling slightly at the memory, I let myself ushered in by a waitress wearing a simple black and white uniform. I direct a small Thanks at her and she gives me a kind smile. Looking ahead of me, I feel my smile fade and my feet jerk into a stop under me when I see Kyuhyun sitting in one of the many tables in the restaurant.

For a moment I contemplate assesing him for a minute or just continuing walking up to him, until my mind decides it would be the later. After all, sooner or later, this has to be talked about and done with.

“Hey,” I say softly, so soflty that I almost immediately wonder if he would hear my voice at all.

He does. He lifts his head from where he rests it on the heel of his hand and sends me what I suppose to be a sleepy smile. There is no pair of eyebags under his eyes, just that his eyelids look heavy and threatening to flutter shut against his will. His hair looks messy and his dress shirt looks crumpled. And instead of a cup of black coffee sitting in front of him, I absently note as I glance at the table, there is a tall glass of milk set for him.

And Cho Kyuhyun hates warm, plain milk. He hates wearing crumpled clothes even more. I frown, wondering who this is and what he’s done to take over Kyuhyun’s body.

“Hey,” he spoke, wincing at the screeching sound from the chair as I pull it out to sit on it. I set my purse on my lap, eyes still glued on him. “How are you?” he asks.

Perfect, if only my best friend isn’t avoiding me for the last few days. I resist answering it to him. “Good,” I pause as I watch him take a sip of his milk. Even he looks disgusted having to drink it. “How are you?”

He sighs. “Hungover.”

I frown, trapping the question why he’s drinking in the first place behind my lips. “Is that why you ordered a glass of milk instead of coffee?”

“A glass of milk with honey and ginger, yes.” He makes a face at said glass. “Disgusting, but a  much better choice than coffee. Alcohol and caffeine won’t be a great mix for one’s stomach.”

“Alcohol alone isn’t a good thing for one’s stomach.” I chide him gently. “You’re a doctor and you know it better than anyone else, but you’re doing it anyway. That’s not very good, Kyuhyun.”

He sighs again and closes his eyes for a brief moment. “That’s what exactly she told me.” he murmurs.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shakes his head and opens his eyes abruptly. He decides not to beat around the bush anymore. “Look, Nana, I’m... I’m sorry, okay? I’ve been a jerk that day-” he stops himself, to frown, “Well, I’ve been one for the last few days. It’s really stupid of me to avoid you and I shouldn’t have said what I said... No, maybe I should’ve said what I said, because it really lifted the weight off my shoulders. Big time. But still, I shouldn’t have said the part where I insisted you to... to...” he curses under his breath, unaware of the dark pink spreading across his cheeks, and continues. “To... reciprocate my feelings... Really. I shouldn’t have said all that. I’ve been stupid, immature, and I don’t want our friendship to be destroyed because of my stupidity and immaturity and I...” he takes a deep breath and finally looks into my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

I blink when he’s done rushing the words from his mouth. It is almost unbelievable that he’s saved our friendship just in less than a minute. I almost can’t understand what he’s saying because he was speaking so rapidly and nervously, but I can grasp the apology. I smile, however, at his hopeful stare. There, I tell myself inwardly, my best friend is back.

“I’m sorry I never told you that I... I was back with Hyukjae Oppa.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “You were concerned of my feelings, Nana.”

“That’s what best friends do.” I tell him.

“Yeah, but all I did was be a jerk to you.”

“Hey,” I reach out to touch his hand gently, a bit hesitant of the movement before covering it with mine. He doesn’t seem to mind or pay too much attention to it.

“I was afraid of losing you, but really. It was stupid of me.” He sighs again, looking at his other hand where he’s idly touching the glass before him.

“Kyuhyun-”

“It was stupid to be afraid to lose someone, when that someone isn’t even ours to begin with.” A wistful smile appears on his lips. “A patient of mine told me that.”

“A patient?”

He nods, smiling a little. “A weird, sometimes-helpful patient.” He says a little distractedly. I think I know this kind of expression but I don’t dare to guess just yet. Then he looks at me, turns his hand upward, the one I am holding, so he can squeeze mine. There is a momentary pause before he asks really softly and carefully, “Are you happy, Nana?”

I can hear his real question lingering in the air. Are you happy with him?

“I...” caught off guard, I look at him, wondering if the very answer would hurt him, but I know all he wants is honesty from me. “Oh God, Kyuhyun, I’m so happy.”

I can see his eyes glaze over, making my heart break at his bittersweet smile, but he gives my hand another encouraging squeeze. “Then I’ll be so happy for you.” he says mimicking my tone. “Tell him I would beat him to bloody pulp if he ever even think of hurting you again.”

I smile at his protective side. “You’ll get your Ms. Right, Kyuhyun.”

And I really hope he will. Because I’ve got mine.

“Amen to that.” he grins easily and just like that, the tension between us melts into the familiarity I call contentment.

“So,” I straighten myself up and prop my elbows on the table, eyeing him playfully. “Mind to elaborate who this weird, sometimes-helpful patient of yours is?”

He gives me a strange look. “It’s a seventy year old grandpa who always scowls at me every time I come into his room for a morning check up.”

I grin at him. “Are you lying or is the grandpa really that beautiful?”

The look on his face is priceless at my question.

“What? When did I say anything about-” he looks confused before groaning, copying my pose by propping both his elbows on the table and leaning slightly forward. “How did you know she is beautiful?”

“Oh, she? Now it’s a grandma?” I tease, laughing as he scowls at me. “I know when my best friend is attracted to someone, Kyu.”

His scowl intensifies. “I’m not attracted to her,” he thinks for a moment. “She’s... weird.”

“So you say.” I tell him happily, countering his glare with a face-splitting grin.

Later that evening, I sit with Hyukjae Oppa in the confine of the four walls of my office, watching as he takes his cup of tea from the coffee table and takes a sip on it. He’s just finished a meeting with another huge Company, not looking tired at all. I absently questioned him the absence of tiredness that was normally present in his face – not that I want him to be tired, but still, it’s a little weird. He told me it had nothing to do with the small amount of his work and everything to do with spending his whole last week with me. I think I blushed a million shades of red at cheeky his answer.

“Why didn’t you tell me you won a lottery?” Hyukjae Oppa asks in amusement over the cup of his tea.

I grin at him. “I didn’t win a lottery.”

He narrows his eyes playfully. “As much as I love that lovely wide smile on your face, Nana, I want to know why you’ve been smiling non stop since I arrived here.” He touched my cheek gently, sending shivers up and down my spine. “Aren’t your cheeks hurt?”

The smile slips from my face and I reach up to feel my cheeks – they indeed hurt from smiling too widely for a really long time – but I decide the feeling is worth my happiness. It feels like the burden on my shoulders was now gone that I’ve talked to Kyu, and the fluttering in my stomach is a very pleasant feeling. So I smile again.

“I have a good news for you.” I say, nearly bouncing in my seat. I really can’t wait to tell him.

He shifts so he is sitting closer to me, draping his arm around my shoulders. “Spill.” He takes a sip of his tea again.

“I...” I take a deep breath through my nose and look up at him seriously. “I do.”

A pause, then he frowns. “You do what?”

“I do want to marry you.” I tell him firmly. I watch him as a stunned silence engulf us, and start squirming uncomfortably when he doesn’t say anything. “Say something.” I say. “That’s my answer to your proposition.”

I am met with another silence. Before I know it, he is doubled over, choking, on freaking air.

“Oppa? Oppa, are you okay?” I ask worriedly, gently thumping him on the back so he can breath through his airway again. “Oppa,”

“Oh my God Nana,” he is still coughing violently, his eyes red and tearing up. “Nana, are you serious?”

“Yes, I am. Breathe, Oppa. Can you breathe? Do you want to drink? Do you want me to get a glass of water? What can I-”

I am cut off by him pulling me down onto his lap just when I stand up, his arms coming around me and almost crushing me to him.

“Oh my God baby are you serious?” he repeats into my hair, disbelief and sheer joy can be heard in his voice.

“Yes,” I squeak. He hugs me tighter. “Okay now I’m the one who can’t breathe.”

Lee Hyukjae, for once, ignores his determination to be a gentleman and crushes me even harder to him. “Oh my God I love you so much, you know that?” he asks rethorically, pulling away and placing a big kiss on my lips. He looks into my eyes and I can’t help but get infected with his grin. “Can we marry tomorrow?”

I laugh at his childish tone, even though I’m sure he didn’t mean it to come out that way. “Or we can meet each other’s families and call a wedding organizer first.”

Wedding. I can’t believe I’m finally talking about a wedding – my wedding with Lee Hyukjae. The very thought of me in a white, huge wedding gown and Hyukjae Oppa in a wedding suit makes me the excitement almost palpable in me.

Hyukjae Oppa nods his head with a huge smile on his face. And then his lips are on my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, showering my face with kisses. He pulls away for a moment to look into my eyes, his smile the widest and gummiest one I’ve ever seen. “Anything for you, baby.”

Sorry again for the late update. I've just got the time to write. I think the next chapter will be the ending :")

Maybe I'm going to write a sequel, but for Kyuhyun. Probably just a short story, but I figure poor magnae needs to find his own happiness. Tell me what you think, and thanks for reading! ^^