“You don’t know how relieved I was when I saw you with Hyukjae again here, Nayoung. Smiling at each other, holding hands... just like the old days.” Sora Eonni sighs as she tells me solemnly, her hands reaching out for mine on the table. “I’m so glad you understand him. Glad that his years of sacrifice didn’t go down the drain. Honestly, I haven’t seen him this happy again since he... left.” She shakes her head. “Those years must have been very torturing for the both of you.”

I just nod my head, but deep inside I’m baffled with what she said. Her description of Hyukjae Oppa didn’t match my picture of him when he went through those years.

“He wasn’t happy?” I ask.

Sora Eonni frowns. “No, he wasn’t.”

“Why?”

“Why?”  she repeats the question, almost in disbelief, as if the answer were literally written on her forehead and I should’ve seen it.

“Yes, why.” I say. “I mean, he left for his dreams. And I know it’s to be a successful businessman just like his father. Now that he’s reached the dream, why wasn’t he happy?”

It pinches my heart. I was letting him go to seize his happiness – if grasping his future was all that he wanted. But now I feel like I had let him go for nothing. Definitely not for my happiness, but apparently, not for his either.

“Wait, what are you talking about? He left for his dreams?” Sora Eonni almost cuts me off, breaking out a thoroughly confused smile. Her eyebrows furrow when I don’t answer and her smile drops. “Listen. You are his dream, Nayoung. It has always been you.” Her eyes flash with something very close to what I think is hurt. She swallows. “My brother didn’t even have the desire to be what he is now. Why would you think he’d left for that reason?”

Suddenly the air is strangled in my throat. I don’t understand, the pieces I thought were parts of the puzzle are suddenly very confusing. They don’t match each other anymore.

I wouldn’t have thought of him like that if only he didn’t make me think that way. He was the one who told me he was leaving for his dreams.

Staring at Sora Eonni, I can feel the honesty in her words. I can see it in her eyes.

But could I see the honesty when Hyukjae Oppa told me his reason for leaving? No. I couldn’t. He was either avoiding my eyes or closing his bold ones shut. I couldn’t tell if he was lying or telling me the truth.

But then the big question is; why would he lie to me?

Sora Eonni frowns further at my attempt to put the pieces together. “Nayoung, he wouldn’t have come back if that was his real reason to leave. He wouldn’t have been here if he just wanted to be a successful businessman. But he’s here now. With us. He’s trying his best to put everything back to its place.” She takes a deep breath and looks over my shoulder to see Hyukjae Oppa still on his phone call. “He hates the business world since he was young. He never wished to get involved in there; he knew it’s almost all about struggling and pushing each other to survive.” Her eyes shift back to me. “However, he hates leaving you more.”

My throat starts hurting even though I don’t understand the point she’s making. It’s too confusing. “But he did leave.”

“Not on his own will. When things were going out of hand between LJS and Kangsan, him leaving to states was the only way out.”

“LJS and Kangsan?” the confusion is very clear in my voice. What now? Why would LJS and Kangsan – which is my family’s corporation – have anything to do with him leaving?

“Yes, LJS and Kangsan. You know, the contract of project between our grandfather and your father?” Her voice sounds faltering now. She stops to assess my facial expression when I just stare at her with bewilderment. Something hits her into realization when her gaze turns horror. “Hyukjae has told you about this, hasn’t he?” she asks.

But I can’t find my voice to answer that. The contract? Has he told me? I shake my head slowly. No, he hasn’t. I didn’t know any of that. I didn’t know Kangsan and LJS had ever signed contract before he left. I didn’t know why that contract I never thought ever existed was making him leave. Didn’t even know why the fact that Kangsan and LJS had signed a contract beforehand seems like something that should be hidden from me.

The color is drained from her face before she covers it with her hands. “Oh God, Lee Hyukjae,” she brushes her fingers through her hair as she hisses his name.

“Eonni? What happened?” I stutter, seeing her reaction. “I... I shouldn’t know about it?”

“No, no you should.” She looks at me. “It’s just... it shouldn’t have come from me. It’s not my place to expain about it to you. It’s Hyukjae’s. But I’m pretty sure he has his reasons for not telling you yet.”

My eyebrows are pulled together. The question ‘But, why?’ is already at the tip of my tongue when I hear footsteps coming closer, and immediately, Sora Eonni shuts closed. I note that that’s the end of our rather ambiguous conversation.

“Guess who’s just called,” a beamy Hyukjae Oppa sits back on the chair by my side, taking a little more than a second to notice the odd silence stretched between me and his sister. His smile fades. “Ladies?”

“Uh, actually,” Sora Eonni rises from her seat awkwardly. “I think I should go now.”

“Why? What happened? Is it Chaeri?” Hyukjae Oppa asks, worried.

“No no, she’s fine, but...” Sora Eonni stares at me hesitantly. “It’s just getting late. So I should go. Come here, dear,” she pulls me into a tight hug, sighing and whispering very softly to my ear. “Oh God Nayoung, I’m sorry. Please don’t let what I said ruin your night.” She sighs and rubs my back gently. “Don’t misunderstand, Nayoung. Don’t overthink. Trust him, please. Wait for him to be ready to tell you. And would you do me a favor?”

My eyes meet Hyukjae Oppa’s bewildered ones as he watches me and Sora Eonni. “Okay.” I whisper back to her.

“Please don’t let him know I’ve blurted it out. He’ll freak out. It’s been a wonderful night for him.”

I’m still staring at him as he starts tilting his head to the side, amused, probably wondering about our murmuring conversation that he can’t hear. I let out a small smile and shrug at him, once again whispering an, “Okay,” to Sora Eonni.

“Thank you, sweetie.” she squeezes me before pulling away. She looks at Hyukjae Oppa and me. “Enjoy the night, both of you. The chef for tonight is the best one I could hire.”

“Thanks.” Hyukjae Oppa gives her a brief hug. “Call me when you get home.”

“Sure.” She slings her purse over her shoulder. “Night, little ones.”

Little ones. I smile at her old nickname to us. “Night.”

Sora Eonni sends me a knowing, hesitant yet grateful smile, before she walks out the double doors. As the doors close, Hyukjae Oppa walks up behind me. I turn around and my eyes fly back to his.

“Mind telling me what those whispers are all about?” he asks cheekily, but my head is already clouded with confusion and the feeling of not knowing something I know I should.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I forcefully squeeze the thought out of my head, slipping my arms in his suit jacket and hugging him around the waist. Cheek pressing onto his chest, I feel his body stiffen with surprise.

“Nana?”

I won’t overthink. Overthinking has been driving me crazy and hurt. I’ll trust him. I don’t know about the stories he’s keeping from me but I will trust him. I don’t think I can spend another time putting him away from me anymore. I feel my need for him has risen more rapidly than I thought. I hug him tighter, inhaling his mix of fresh, minty and manly scent – his wonderful scent.

“Yes, I do mind.” I murmur the answer to his earlier question.

He places his hands on each my shoulders and pushes me gently to look at me in the eyes. His eyes are searching. I’ve never felt so transparent to him, but now I do. He can sense the insecurity I’m feeling. I know it. But instead of asking about it, he’s welcoming the playfulness to creep between us once again as he narrows his eyes at me with humor.

“Keeping secrets from me, huh?”

A giggle escapes me. “Girls keep secrets, you should learn to accept that.”

He laughs, and without hesitation, he’s leaning down to press his lips on my cheek. My heart beat speeds up, but not with the speed that will make me feel overwhelmed. Hyukjae Oppa doesn’t know what we were murmuring about earlier, but I’m taking it as him kissing away all my worries now. It greatly calms me down. And I appreciate every millisecond of it.

He pulls away after awhile, grinning like a boy. “Have I ever told you I love that sound so much?”

“What sound?” I mirror the big grin on his face.

“That sound. Your giggles.” He runs the pads of his fingers against my cheek. “It’s the most lovable sound I’ve heard in my entire life.”

My cheeks heat up, and I slap his hand away just in case he can feel the rising temperature of my skin. “Can you be any more cheesy?”

He shrugs, winking an eye. “Well, if you want me to.”

I grumble in embarrassment, not at all used to his playful side. It’s not that I don’t like it. I love it. But sometimes it just feels too surreal to have him smiling down at me by my side.

I watch him as he laughs and waves his hand for the menu. I order Spaghetti alla Carbonara for me, and Hyukjae Oppa orders Mozzarelle Fritte and onion bread as the appetizers. The main dish for him is the food that I can hardly spell for myself.

He’s flipping through the list of wines as he asks me what I want to drink. I raise my eyes from the menu for my lacking knowledge of wines, only to see him laugh once again and order a bottle of Pinot Grigio or something. Apparently the boy that grew up avoiding a drop of alcohol has become a wine expert now.

As the waitress dismisses herself with a very apparent blush on her face from talking to him, Hyukjae Oppa leans forward and pulls the topic we’ve awkwardly left before.

“I was talking to Minwoo earlier,” he starts.

“Minwoo?” my eyes widen. “Choi Minwoo?”

“Choi Minwoo,” he nods at the mention of his highschool buddy. “He said he was getting married.”

“Really?” my lips pull up into a wide smile.

“Yes.” He smiles at my excitement. “Apparently they’re holding the ceremony in Jeju. And it’s about the time we get there for the business trip.”

“You’re kidding,” I gasp.

“Nope.” He laughs. “Oh, I assume you’ve asked your secretary about the trip?”

My face flushes profusely at this. “Yes.” And I glare at him. “It was embarrassing I had to ask her.”

“Not my fault that you didn’t pay attention to the presentation at the meeting,” the irritating smirk I missed so much is playing on his face. “Or that you were staring at me the whole time.”

“Oppa.” I whine, causing him to laugh almost hysterically.

I fail to keep glaring at him as a smile, and then a trail of laugh, burst out from me. He’s just too adorable and his laughs are too infectious to resist. The night goes more wonderfully than the way it started. We laugh more, talk more, and we both realize the barrier is slowly swallowed down by our attempt to open up to each other. His presence is gradually not that overwhelming to me anymore.

Two glasses of wine are on the table before us as we stare at each other and go through all the talkings. We chat away, shoving the tasty dessert to our mouths every now and then. But mostly, we avoid talking about our past, knowing it wouldn’t exactly be a comfortable part for our conversation now.

We just keep it wonderful. Being with him and laughing along with him is wonderful. I’ve decided to trust him. I wouldn’t push him or let the knowledge of him hiding something from me get into our relationship.

The goodbye kiss on the corner of my lips when he drops me in front of my house makes me grin like a mental, and the lingering feeling of his lips lulls me to sleep. Eyes on the ceiling as I lay in my bed, I have to resist smiling too widely as I touch the part of my lips where he kissed.

The kiss felt very soft. And safe. And right. Sighing a contented breath, I close my eyes shut and hope this relationship we’re back into will be as beautiful as tonight.