“Let’s break up.”

My heart almost stopped beating at the very moment. When he said those three words, everything around us seemed to be paused. Those were definitely not the three words I wanted to hear. I must have misheard it.

“W-what?” I mouthed, losing the ability to voice it out. My throat closed up and I could feel someone gripping my heart tightly in their hold.

“Let’s break up,” he repeated, once again avoiding my eyes which probably had showcased him the pain I felt in my chest. “We can’t be together again...”

For a few torturous seconds I wasn’t able to speak. I was trying to catch a glimpse of smirk or whatever it is in his face that would tell me that it’s all a lie. It’s all a joke. He was only pranking on me. If he really was, I swore I would give him an award for being such a good actor.

But no. I didn’t see anything but guilt in his frowning face.

“Why...?” I croakily asked when my throat started burning in pain. “Why can’t we?”

He sighed. “I need to go to US. I have things to achieve and-”

“So it’s about your plan of going to US again?” I stared at him in half disbelief. I felt a drop of tear trickling down my cold cheeks. “We’ve talked about it, haven’t we? I allow you to go, I won’t distract you. But please, don’t give up on us. I promise we can make it, Oppa. We-”

“I can’t.” He shook his head firmly, still not meeting my eyes.

It felt like I was being struck by a thunder when he said that, the pain was unexplainable. He hadn’t even tried. He didn’t even want to try to hold onto the relationship. With jaws trembling in fury, I could feel my blood boiling under my skin.

“Why can’t you?!” I subconsciously shouted as I abruptly got onto my feet, which successfully made him glance up at me again. Not caring about the unwanted attentions I’ve unintentionally attracted, I continued emitting all the emotions I’ve got. “You haven’t even tried so how could you say you can’t?!”

“Nayoung-ah,” he walked to my side and gripped on my wrist to stop me from exploding, which I quickly pried off.

“I’m willing to let you chase your dreams wherever it is. I’m willing to try to hold onto our relationship. So why are you not?” I sobbed, and tried decreasing my voice, staring straight into his eyes. I wanted him to at least tell me his point of view. I didn’t care if he would blurt out nonsense or illogical reasons. I just wanted him to tell me that what I accused at him was not true. That he actually wanted to attempt to hold onto us. However, he just kept silent. And that was the peak of my disappointment. “Lee Hyukjae, answer me! Why do you want to give up on us so much?! Why aren’t you willing to-”

“Kang Nayoung!” he cut me off short. He held my shoulders so strongly that it hurt me.

But the pain was nothing compared with how my heart ached.

Without looking for any response from me, he pulled me out of the restaurant by the wrist towards the car and slammed the door shut. Hyukjae Oppa practically ran to the driver’s side and abused the car key while he was losing his concentration turning on the machine.

The drive to my house was painfully silent, so much different with the one when we went to the restaurant. I silently cried, facing the window. His piercing gaze when he decided a break up for us was sticking stubbornly in my memories. My fingers got numb and cold, as I clutched onto my dress tightly.

How did it end like this? I couldn’t help but choke out a soft sob. Today was supposed to be a beautiful day for us, a day when we tighten the string attached to either of us; a day when we confess to each other and embrace this relationship to make it last forever. But eventually it turned out bitter. It ended just like this.

Before I realized it, he had pulled the break in front of my house. He didn’t even tell me we were there. I glanced at him sadly under my lashes, finding him closing his eyes with his hands still on the steering wheel. He looked so pissed off when he was the one who wanted the break up.

“Oppa,” I whispered softly. I’ve expected he wouldn’t answer it, but that still led me to breaking into tears again when he really didn’t. Quietly crying, I opened the door, but stopped halfway when a voice in my head reprimanded me. This is probably your last attempt to hold onto this relationship. I still couldn’t imagine how I would stand days without him. So for the last time of the day, I turned to him and said it again. “I love you, Lee Hyukjae.”

His jaw tightened at the moment I said it, but he sat still there. My heart had torn into pieces. Now it’s really over. I let out a shivering sigh, and was about to turn around to hop off the car when he pulled my arm in a swift motion.

In a matter of milliseconds his face was only a few inches from mine. I could feel his unsteady breath on my lips. Staring at the sudden closeness, I saw his eyes were still tightly closed and his lips were trembling. My heart was threatening me to jump out of my chest for it was beating so fast.

Then without any warning, he leaned in and pressed his lips on mine hard, making me taken aback from the sudden act. I couldn’t even think whether I should push him away or just kiss him back; his expression was too unreadable for me and I couldn’t catch on what’s in his mind. When his kiss turned gentle, every security boundaries that I built broke. I was getting too emotional and I started crying again violently, not caring if it would ruin the moment.

I just wanted to let him know how broken up I would be if he left.

Hearing my sobs, his hands went up to cup my cheeks, and his thumbs wiped the tears off them softly while his lips were still attached to mine.

We clearly used up all the oxygen in our lungs just to make the kiss longer. It was too sweet to be ended. However, the time kept going by and my lungs had burned for oxygen, causing me to slowly pull away when I obviously didn’t want to.

My cheeks were still in his hands, burning crimson red, as I internally questioned what the kiss stood for. Can I take that as a hint of hope for me? I felt a spark in my chest. I really hoped it was.

Slowly looking up I tried to find the answer in his face. But still, he was very hard to read. He was expressionless and his eyes – the window into his soul – were still closed. Panting, he placed his forehead against mine, his hands got colder and colder for each passed second.

For a moment that seemed like eternity we stayed on that position. I didn’t do even a single movement for I was afraid just a small gesture would destroy everything. Our relationship was so fragile now.

“Nana-yah,” he broke the silence when he seemed to have calmed down. He called my nickname.

I was about to smile for taking it as a hope, until then, unpredictably, he let go of me completely and faced the front like how he did earlier. Like nothing had happened.

Heaving a shaking breath, he said in finality, “Take care.”

-End of Flashback-    

Take care.

Those were his last words to me.

That dinner was the last one for us.

And that kiss, was my first and my last.

The days after that day were pure agony to me. He left without any traces and apparently, he didn’t tell anyone but me about his choice to leave. Not even Daeyoung who was his bestfriend.

I hate getting those flashbacks again. I hate seeing him in my head. I hate... I don’t know. I hate everything that happened. If I could choose, I would choose to never meet him at the first place. So that I wouldn’t fall for him this hard, so that I wouldn’t miss him this bad.

 “Ugh, not again.” Choking out a groan, I feel a drop of salty tears reaching the corner of my lips. I roughly wipe it away with the back of my hand, but just like earlier this morning, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. 

You can’t cry over him anymore, Nayoung. You can’t. I keep telling myself. He stepped away from your life and then gets back in it as he likes. Why are you crying for someone like him? For someone that got away from your life?

Furiously rummaging my shoulder bag for my phone, I quickly pressed a speed dial button. I bite my lips together to stop myself from crying, but to no avail. And Daeyoung is not picking up.

“The number you’re calling is currently busy, please-” I punched the end call button in despair, and try dialing him for a few times until I grow tired.

But I really need someone to talk to. I scroll my contact list up and down, desperately trying to find someone trustworthy other than Daeyoung. And my thumb stops scrolling across the screen when my eyes are fixated on one particular contact. Not wanting to waste another seconds I immediately press the call button.

A classic sound of piano soon can be heard as the ring back tone. But that doesn’t calm me down. I pace back and forth impatiently, waiting for someone to pick up the call, until the classical music stops. I hurriedly speak out.

“Kyu-”

“Hi, this is Cho Kyuhyun. I can’t pick up the call most probably because I’m busy right now. And, well, you know what to do when this call beeps.” Then the short beeping sound is heard.

That is the peak of my frustration. Two seconds after the recording starts, I end the call as my body glides down limply to the floor. I pull my knees close to my chest and hug them tightly, crying even harder than before – I don’t know what to do other than that. I need someone. I need to release this stress off my mind. I just can’t handle all of this alone.

Out of nowhere, the restroom door opens up, revealing my co-worker standing at it. Which effectively stops me from crying. “Gosh, Kang Nayoung!” Jinhee growls at the sight of me, looking half relieved and half fed up. Her hand goes up to clench her chest while she is out of breath. She hastily takes long steps closer to me. “What the hell are you thinking, running away from a meeting like that? And do you know how people are busy scanning the whole building just to find you?”

I quickly wipe away my tears. “Oh, I-I’m sorry.” I mutter lowly.

Jinhee rolls her eyes. “The whole meeting room panicked when they saw you running away just like that. They think they did something-” her voice decreases gradually until it comes to a stop. Her eyes widen when they catch a clear vision of my face and her fingers lift my chin. “Nayoung-ah, you’re crying?”

I avoid meeting her eyes.

Seo Jinhee has been my girl bestfriend for 4 years and she is very sensitive to reading my thoughts. She practically knows me inside and out, and I figure answering ‘no’ would sound too fake and I think she would bug me endlessly to tell her what is going on. While I haven’t even told her anything about Hyuk- him.

Therefore, I just nod my head. “I got a really bad stomach cramp.” I fake a sick face, clutching onto my stomach.

I just want to go home as soon as possible, get a sleep, and forget about everything. Everything.

“Is it that bad?” she my hair gently, before reaching the front pocket of her pants and fishing her phone out. “I’ll call Kyuhyun.”

“No, I just called him.” I stop her hand. “Seems like he’s busy.”

“How about the other doctors?” Jinhee offers carefully, to which I immediately shake my head. “Oh come on, Nayoung. You need to recover soon, this meeting is so important to us.”

“I can’t recover that fast.” I vulnerably respond, referring to the scar that is left in my memory. Apparently Jinhee and I are not on the same page and it’s only me who knows it.

“Do you want to delay the meeting?” Jinhee sighs. “Daeyoung Oppa has worked days and nights so hard for this project. Delaying the meeting will affect every single thing of the project and he possibly has to re-arrange everything from the very start.”

Her words are like a sharp knife that slices all the thoughts about him away from my brain. This project, in fact, is a big one – and I can’t debate with that. Oh God, am I being too egotistic? Too sensitive? I just don’t think I can bear seeing him again. It is still not possible for me. But business won’t possibly put up with anyone’s feeling, that’s the rule.

I let a low groan escape my lips as I massage my temple slowly. This is hard.

“The decision is in your hand, Nayoung-ah.” Jinhee pats the back of my hand – as if she understands what I’m going through, before standing up straight. “LJS group will leave in 30 minutes if you don’t-”

“I’ll attend the meeting.” I get on my feet looking at the floor, without knowing how in the world I am going to do that.

I can tell Jinhee is surprised with the sudden change of my decision, because so am I.

“Are you sure?” she asks. I nod my head in stiff, and she beams profusely. “I’ll call secretary Kim to prepare everything.” Jinhee says, making her call to secretary Kim while I turn my face to the mirror.

I look pathetic. My eyes are slightly red from crying, making it contrast to my pale face. Good thing my mascara is the water-proof one or else I’d be looking like a total mess.

I’ve never thought the day will really come. The day when I get to meet him again. Face to face.

“Let’s go?” Jinhee juts her chin towards the door waiting for my response. I grab my shoulder bag off the floor and grip onto it tightly.

This is it, Kang Nayoung. This is it.

Heeeyyy it's me again! *waves hand*

Despite of the quiz I'll have to work on for tomorrow, I'm writing the fourth chapter kekeke

And have you noticed one more main character being mentioned?

Yeayyy, I'll introduce you to Cho Kyuhyun! On the next chapter, that is. Heehee

What role do you think he would play? Oh! And finally she will be meeting Hyukjae again.

So stay tuned :D

Don't forget to COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE~