How's the holidays guys? I think all of us are happy because our girls are back! :D And this fic is back too ;)

So let's all start reading, The first chapter of TBT for this year! >:D<

Love and Hate 119

We left my house to go to Jessica's unit of course. Like she'll like to do it in my messy room anyways. The ride on her car was quiet, as in we never even talked. I was busy looking outside the bars and night shops we passed by, I wonder if I can party sometimes. No not kiddie parties, I mean the drinking alcohol and dancing type. It will be some kind of cool scene where we'll meet at the bar and we kinda like each other but no. We met in school, as a teacher and a student.

I turned to Jessica busy looking at the road, do you party? Probably.. But you're busy right? Oh well. Like I'll know more of you than your age, name and profession. You're Jessica Jung, 21 an English teacher.

"Jessica.."

"Yea?" Can we go out on a date? I know you don't do dates but maybe somehow you can change it for a while, I'll treat you nice. I'll dress up well, I'll bring some flowers, candle light dinner.. I'll make it romantic! Jessica Jung, will you be my girlfriend?

"Nothing." I still can't talk to her properly. I dunno why exactly. My words, they don't come out right, they just stay inside me. I wanna ask her many things, be more close to her, bond with her. What she likes, what makes her laugh, what she hates, everything! Not just .. I want more than that. Something more special. I want us officially dating.

When we got to her unit, of course whatever we did was what we always do on Sundays. Somehow, though it feels good, I admit it does.. But somehow.. There's a pain intact to it. Ms. Jung, please tell me how can I mend this?

"Yoona.. What's wrong?" Ms. Jung underneath me asked. Why? Is something wrong with me?

"N-no.. Nothing." Apparently, while by the all the talking in my head, I stopped what I was doing to her. Without any more distractions, I continued. She told me this is called 'stimulation', wonder what she meant by that?

Ms. Jung's body is addicting, she has a smell I can never get tired of taking in. Her neck, her arms, everywhere; Ms. Jung smells nice anywhere. Her skin it's smooth and fair, her curves it's perfect. Ms. Jung is the person I want so badly, in terms of and love. Everything about Jessica Jung, I love it all.

"Yoona.. Don't play.." Ms. Jung suddenly held my head and pulled it up to make me look at her. "Stop with your teasing and fck.." She took my hand and put it in her abs. No, I don't want to, at least not yet. I wanna feel you more.. I don't need to hurry. I have all the time in the world.

"Yoona?" She complained. "Come on.. Stop playing.." Again she complained. But Ms. Jung, it's better this way.. Make me do it with love not lust. Let me make you feel how much I care for you, not how I badly want you. I didn't care if she'll complain, I will kiss her all around. Ms. Jung you deserve this kind of , no this is lo-

"Yoona!" She pulled my face up, kinda glaring.

"If you won't do this just go home.." She pushed me off her, I retreated beside her. What's wrong with taking things smoothly, gently, with care and love?

I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry. I forgot, I have no right to feel anything for you.

"J-Jessica.. I-I just.." She turned her back on me, hugging her pillow. Sigh, what did I do that's so wrong? I just wanna show you, you deserve better. I'm sorry for trying.

"Yoona.." I just looked flat on her back. Who's calling me? I don't see anyone but a white flawless back. How did it know my name?

"Listen okay? Don't space out or moron-out on me. I want your full attention.." Said the girl who wasn't even facing me while talking, ironic. You always have my attention. "Okay."

"Yoona.."

"Do you love Seohyun?" She asked. E-ehh? Why so sudden with the question?! She then faced me with a serious expression. "J-Jess-" I was stopped when her finger touched my lips to block my words.

"Stop calling me by my name. Remember I told you not to?" She glared at me. I simply nod, her glare is one of the few horrors that I fear in my damn life. , scary glare. "Now, answer my question.." Geez. You really are a teacher.. So bossy.

"I don't.." I answered honest. Why would I ever lie to you Ms. Jung? I never did.

"Why? I thought you liked her..?" I love her Ms. Jung! Just not the way you think.

For a while she remained silent, afterward she lightly pushed me. Saddist.

"I get it. Just like Taeyeon and Tiffany, you two are hiding it. Even from me Yoona?" She arched her eye bro on me. Ms. Jung, come on.. Seriously, I don't love Seohyun that way! "Y-you're wrong.." I argued but she only shook her head left and right.

"No need to. Like Seohyun's actions earlier lied. She's totally so into you; only talks about Yoona, Yoona and Yoona.." Wh-what? Why are you like this. I told you, you're wrong trust me on this will you? "B-but Ms. Jung.."

"Shut it. Yoona don't hide it. You and Seohyun.. I get it.. Okay?" Ms. Jung.. When will you ever trust me?! Please stupid mouth speak up and explain! Crap sh-t!

"The way you hugged her when you saw her again? Geez. Like that can hide what you two feel for each other.." Wh-what are you saying? Ms. Jung I don't get you, will you trust what I say? I never lied to you not once not ever! "Ms. Jung.. That's no-" And she just smiled. "Kitchen romance? Oh god, no need to hide it okay?"

I give up. You'll never ever try to listen to me! Never ever! Damn it!

"Fine.." Now I turned away. Why do you kept on insisting there's something between me and Seohyun when I kept on telling you there's nothing? Why won't you even listen? Why don't you try, Ms. Jung?! I hate this. Darn it.

It's all my fault.. My freakin' mouth. Jessica, if you would have known! If only you knew.. If only you knew how much I needed your attention. I need you to know that I love you, damn it!

Piece of sh-t..

You'll never know because you never cared! Uhhg! I know! I know hell crap, you don't love me! But just please.. Show me you care even just a bit.. Pay attention to what I say then trust me! But you don't even care.. You clearly don't love me. Stick it to your heart Yoona, face the fact. The fckin' fact.. She doesn't love you thus she'll never care. "I don't love her.."

"Sure whatever Yoona, but hey? Can we just continue?" Oh sure.. This is what you cared about right? Your pleasure! That's all. Fine! If it makes you so happy, since I love you anyways! I love you Jessica Jung! Damn fckin' love! Love..

Love sh-t. Bullsh-t.

"Sure.." I turned back to her. I held on her shoulders, brushing it and making it warm. I then kissed her suddenly, hungry kiss. No you won't take a break from this kiss, you won't let go. "Y-yoon.." I bit her lower lip once she wanted control no, I do what I want. It tasted somehow like blood. I started pushing her to lie down,

I wanted the place on top of her. I broke the kiss because I need to kiss her neck. "Y-Yoona.." Hearing my name is somehow very hot, it is. You wanted this right? This is what we are and nothing more.

After a while I did gave her what she needed and wanted the most, her release. I lied beside her, but I don't wanna face her. I then felt her presence closer. Her body touched my back, hugging me.

"Jessica.." I called her but she didn't answer. Is she asleep? Already?

"Ms. Jung.." The hug.. It's.. Warm.

I can't believe this..

For a while I hated her. I had hated her.. I hated to face the truth that Jessica doesn't love me. Now, I'm miserable because I belted the anger with . I hurt her didn't I? That wasn't love, Yoona. That was pure lust and hatred! I feel such an idiot, no such a loser. Damn it Yoona! I hate myself.. I love you so badly now I'm hurting. It hurts so much Ms. Jung..

"I'm sorry.." I.. I can't contain my tears. My emotions, what I feel.. My mind. I think it will explode soon.. I can't cry. Jessica might hear, darn it tears stop flowing out! Yoona, stop crying please..

Ms. Jessica Jung, do you know how much hurts? When love and hate happen at the same time?

I held her hand planted on my stomach. I kissed it, Jessica.. Oh Jessica.. Why did I love you this much?

Oh Yoongie.. :/

I'll update tomorrow, next chapter would be lighter. Don't you guys worry :)

Just like its title : Ms. Adorable J. Jung 120 ♥

For now I need to watch IGAB live.

-choikufu