Past and Present

---

The night was very cold compared to the rather sunny day that had ended few hours ago. It was even probably going to snow in the middle of the night. The neighborhood was quiet and just a few houses had their lights still on. Only soft and pained sobs broke the peaceful silence, coming from the Lee family's front garden. 

Eunhyuk couldn't stop his tears from falling down his cheeks while his body was trembling horribly against Donghae's warm figure. He had came to the brunette's without a coat nor a sweater which he had left at his house, only a simple shirt was covering his shoulders. The freezing breeze made him craved for Donghae's warmth, who had been holding him between his arms for ten minutes now. The latter stayed silent, wordlessly soothing the older with comforting on his back. Eunhyuk tried his best to calm down and get his acts together, quietening his sniffles.

 

"Do you feel better?" Donghae softly asked him.

 

Not trusting his voice, Eunhyuk only nodded. He slowly detached himself from Donghae's embrace, glancing at the younger's soaked shirt. Before he could let out an apology, the front door burst open. Mrs. Lee appeared with a curious and worried expression, wearing a gown over her pajamas while holding a cup of hot tea.

Feeling suddenly ashamed to meet Donghae's mother for the second time in such a pitiful state, Eunhyuk lowered his gaze to the ground as a blush crept on his face. He could feel Mrs. Lee persistent stare on him as they all remained quiet, until she decided to speak ;

 

"Go in, kids." She softly invited them.

 

Before Eunhyuk could protest, Donghae immediately lead him into the house. Still weak and exhausted from his outburst, the redhead decided to do as the younger pleased.

 

On the other hand, Mrs. Lee bustled around the kitchen to prepare a hot chocolate for the poor boy who had just came in her house, crying within her youngest son's arms. She hurried herself to grab a mug before she heated some milk in a saucepan.

Lee Sunghee was a brilliant and smart woman, always caring and sweet with everybody she knew was worth it. Donghae was the same as her on this point ; kind and loyal to whoever deserved it. Until now, Mrs. Lee had only met one person for who Donghae had the most unshakeable trust ; Cho Kyuhyun, her own best friend's son. She had actually worried about the lack of sociability her son seemed to have until tonight.

The first time she had met this Eunhyuk boy, she immediately knew this kid wasn't all troubles and headaches as her son had described him the first day he was stuck with him for the report they had to do for the end of the year. The way Donghae acted around him confirmed her initial thought. Glancing at them discreetly, she let a small grin creep on her face when she noticed how her son seemed to be so worried for the vulnerable redhead boy.

 

Eunhyuk sat on the living-room couch without being accurately aware of it, all his moves guided by Donghae who stayed close to him the whole time. He faintly heard Mrs. Lee in the kitchen and the TV was still on, showing the news channel. He felt shy to be standing in the middle of an unfamiliar house, almost as if he was intruding into someone else's life.

All of a sudden, Donghae got up and sprinted out of the room without notice. Immediately panicking, Eunhyuk widened his eyes, his hands shaking more than ever. He felt so vulnerable and weak, and he didn't want to be alone right now. Donghae procured him human's warmth and comfort and he didn't want to deprived of it just yet. Shortly after though, Donghae reappeared with a sweater in his hands which he gave to Eunhyuk, immediately settling down next to him again.

Thanking him quietly, Eunhyuk pull on the clothes and wiped his soaked cheeks. "Sorry." He mumbled. "I didn't want to barge in like that."

 

"What are you saying, I don't care Eunhyuk." Donghae replied honestly. "I'm just worried."

 

Mrs. Lee joined them in the living-room with two hot drinks on a tray which she handed to the two boys. "Drink quickly." She said. "Or you'll fall sick by tomorrow."

 

"Thank you, Mrs. Lee."

 

"Oh dear God, you're welcome Sweetie!" She exclaimed. "Aren't you my son's friend now?"

 

Nodding quietly, he took a sip of the drink and sighed with relief as the hot liquid went down his throat, warming him almost instantly.

 

He drank in silence, avoiding Donghae's and Mrs. Lee's eyes. "Thank you very much." He said eventually when his embarrassment was almost unbearable. "I - Maybe I should go home now."

 

"Don't be stupid." Donghae gritted through his teeth as whipped cream remained on his upper lip. "It's past midnight already and things don't seem to go on well in your house. You can stay here."

 

"Donghae is right, dear." Mrs. Lee acquiesced with a small nod. "You can stay here as long as you want. It's already late anyway. Don't expect me to let you wander alone in the night, young man."

 

Mrs. Lee's stern speech made Eunhyuk lower his gaze to the floor with a light blush while he softly bit his lower lip. He wasn't used to have someone worry about him like a mother should. Instead of getting annoyed as he would usually had, he actually found himself appreciating Mrs. Lee's concerns. They chatted for a while before Donghae eventually dragged him upstairs so he could let him borrow some clothes. Eunhyuk was glad the brunette stayed silent, only asking harmless questions and giving him time to sort things out. After Donghae had exited the bedroom to let Eunhyuk the privacy to change clothes, the latter slumped down on the bed with a heavy sigh. He felt worn out, but still he couldn't deny how thankful he was toward Donghae. He couldn't help himself but to grin shyly as he recalled Donghae's strong arms hugging him tightly against his chest, his heart thumping hard in his chest. It felt good and safe to be in his embrace. A part of him had wished to stay there as long as possible and to engrave this feeling in his memory, while another one had wanted to escape and never face Donghae again. The brunette was way too confusing for his unstable mind, he experienced emotions he never did before and it was frightening.

He dressed in pajamas with a low sigh, too lost to know what to do anymore.

Was it only friendship he felt for Donghae? Was it curiosity? Or was it something else? Donghae somehow managed to make him forget all his worries and concerns and his pained memories. He was glad to have met someone like him, even though their relationship had started quite badly. But he believed it was what built their strong friendship.

When he was eventually fully dressed up, the clothes were quite tight for him but he couldn't blame Donghae's short height. Or maybe yes. He thought as a small grin crept on his face. Hesitantly, he went out in the hallway, not really sure of what he should do now in this unusual house. This was probably the first time he ever opened up this much to someone else than Siwon. It has always been natural for him to barge in his best friend's house as if he owned it, and his parents were never home anyway.

As he was about to go down the stairs to see if Donghae wasn't in the living-room, the door facing his bedroom opened. Startled, Eunhyuk took a step back as he eyed the stranger. Surprised as well, the young adult stared at him with surprise and curiosity. Eventually, the redhead recognized the man as Donghae's old brother after he remembered he had seen his face on the younger's picture in his bedroom. He was approximately the same height as him, wearing exactly the same smile as his young brother.

Before Eunhyuk could start feeling embarrassed, Donghae went up the stairs with a tray full of food and drinks. He quickly introduced the redhead to his brother Donghwa before he pushed him back into his bedroom. There, he put the tray on a coffee table and gestured the older to sit down next to him. A nice smell floated in the room and Eunhyuk realized then that he was actually starving ; he hadn't ate since he had left the amusement park and he would have gladly ate anything. Thanking the brunette quietly, he joined him on the floor and grabbed a bowl of rice eagerly. Donghae did the same, not bothering about manners and began to eat messily as if his life depended on it. They ate in silence at first, until Donghae decided to speak up ;

 

"Are you okay?" He asked with hesitation, staring at his empty bowl. "I don't really know what I should do right now."

 

"I'm fine." Eunhyuk shortly replied and he immediately regretted it.

 

Donghae didn't seem to mind though. "Don't lie. You aren't fine, else you wouldn't look so exhausted. Where the hell has your arrogant smirk disappeared to, huh?"

 

Eunhyuk chuckled darkly as he put his cutlery on the coffee table. "Who knows."

 

"Do you... Do you want to talk about it? I can't say I understand, but I know I can listen well."

 

Eunhyuk stared him before he let out a tired sigh. Quietly, he got up and cleaned the table, putting the try in a corner of the room, as well as the coffee table. He could feel Donghae's stare on his back, watching his every moves, until he settled down on the bed and gestured to Donghae to join him. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, words flew out of his mouth ; "Things were fine at first. My parents and I... We never got along well, but when I was a kid Sora noona was there with me so they weren't as impossible as right now. They had always been rude, cold and heartless. Guess it's because of their job, you know? My mother is a manager in a big society at the other end of Seoul, while my father is a P.D.G.. They always want Sora noona and I to be perfect. No flaws, just... perfect. This was hard, but at first I tried my best to fulfill their request because I loved them. Who don't love their own parents though, right? I always thought every household was the same as mine, that you had to work for hours and hours to only gain a small smile from your parents. I was sort of like you, before ; good grades and everything. I still didn't know Siwon at the time, and when I met him during primary school, I realized that we weren't normal. I mean, what the hell, why would I have to stay up all night just because I crave for my mother's recognizance, huh? This is crazy! I - I tried to stay strong during all junior high school, I was nice and all! I listened to them, I was never late, I had the best grades of the damn school!" He began to feel more and more furious at everything as he recalled his painful memories. Tears of frustration appeared at the corner of his eyes. "I didn't know why they never smiled to me! And then - then Sora noona got an opportunity to go to New York for a stylist job, and things just got worse at home. They would never leave me alone, almost as if I couldn't breath on my own anymore! I knew I could do well on my own, I'm not stupid goddamn it, but everyday they were on my back, pushing me again and again! I swear I had a double nosebleed once because of the pressure. I just couldn't... I - I thought maybe that was because I was - I was, I don't know, too much of a noob or something for them, that I wasn't worth their trust, so I - I - I... In ninth grade, I -..." Without him noticing, he was in tears again, his fists clenching the bed sheets as sobs erupted out from his throat.

Still silent, Donghae shuffled next to him and turned the lights off, before he pushed Eunhyuk down so he was laying on the bed next to him. "Let's just sleep." He murmured. "We'll talk about this tomorrow."

 

Eunhyuk nodded, though Donghae probably didn't see it. "Oh, but I have to warn you." The latter said. "I'm the cuddler type. I tend to hug people in my sleep, so... Yeah, sorry about that."

 

"If someone knows it right now, it has to be me." Eunhyuk chuckled weakly. "You spent the day sleeping in my arms, Fish."

 

Donghae grinned softly, before he yawned and closed his tired eyes. "Good night, Eunhyuk."

 

"Hyukjae... You can call me Hyukjae..."

 

His smile growing wider, Donghae his side as Eunhyuk's scent and warmth was just next to him. The bed was a bit small for the both of them, but nobody seemed to care. "Good night Hyukjae, then..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sun was shining brightly through the window curtains, burning Eunhyuk's orbs through his single lidded-eyelids. He painfully opened his eyes, before he immediately closed them again with a groan of discomfort. He shuffled on the bed, feeling oddly squeezed against the wall. He was used to wake up in a wide bed with his curtains closed so his bedroom would be in total darkness. This morning though, everything was unfamiliar for him. Carefully opening his eyes again, he surprisingly felt a body snuggled tightly against his chest. Don't tell me I brought a random girl at home again... He begged inwardly, his mind still cloudy with sleepiness to accurately recognize the person in his embrace. His own arms were wrapped around the sleeping figure into an almost protective act and Eunhyuk could easily guess they had spent the night sleeping in this position. Although, he felt as if it had been one of his best night sleep ; he was perfectly comfortable as a small yawn left his lips and he wanted to cuddle more with that stranger.

Pushing that irrational idea aside, he cleared up his mind and focused on the body, trying to recall what had happened yesterday. He blinked before he suddenly recognized Lee Donghae curled up into a ball against him, his nose buried against Eunhyuk's neck. Instantly blushing, Eunhyuk stiffened greatly against the brunette, completely unaware of what he should do right now. He didn't want to let go, but at the same time he was too afraid to understand why he was blushing like a teenage girl, only because he had Donghae sleeping in his arms. Not to mention why he even wanted to remain like this when it was obvious he shouldn't. I shouldn't. He thought, but didn't make a move anyway. Unconsciously, he raised his left hand and lightly Donghae's cheek, gulping nervously as he did so. His skin is so smooth... Lightly and cautiously, his finger trailed a line up to his lips, tracing their shape. His heart was thumping messily in his chest as an overwhelming sensation was growing in the pit of his stomach. He bit his lip shyly as he admired Donghae's sleeping figure in his arms.

Abruptly, Donghae began to move and let out a groan as he hid his face into Eunhyuk's shirt. Frozen, the latter widened his eyes, ready to panic. "Stop moving, Hyukjae." Donghae stirred in his sleep. "There are people trying to enjoy their last minutes of sleeping here."

Eunhyuk relaxed slightly, actually blushing when the younger spoke up his real name so easily. He bit his lip, unable to contain his inexplicable joy. "If you don't want me to move, then don't sleep on me." He grumbled in a pout anyway.

 

Donghae chuckled and detached himself slightly from Eunhyuk to throw him a lazy glance. "I feel like we spent the last two days sleeping on each other." He commented with a yawn. "Hmm... That's not like I'd complain." He added afterward and rubbed his eyes with his fists.

 

So cute, Eunhyuk thought as he stared blankly at the brunette, unaware of what move he should do at this point. His mind was all messed up as if a tank had thrown everything all over the place ; his composure, his thoughts and his feelings. The tank was most probably Donghae, though the way he was cutely ruffling his hair made him look more like an innocent boy rather than a vehicle of destruction. Appearances can be deceiving.

 

"Are you hungry?" Donghae asked as he sat up on the bed. Eunhyuk stayed laying, crossing his head under his head. "What time is it anyway?"

 

He reached for the clock as the door abruptly opened. Startled, Eunhyuk immediately straightened up and blinked when he realized it was only Donghae's brother. 

The latter was wearing a sly smirk on his lips, staring at his younger brother and at his redhead gummy-smiling friend suspiciously. Donghwa had heard about Eunhyuk/Hyukjae since the very first day they had met for the English Project, since the youngest was the kind to annoy everybody he knew about his problems. Usually, he would have been pissed-off to hear about his clearly uninteresting life, but he realized as time went by that maybe Donghae had more affection for the redhead than he seemed to tell. He was beyond curious to know what was so amazing and annoying at the same time about his classmate. Unfortunately, Donghwa didn't have time to investigate the day before because seeing Eunhyuk crying in the middle of the hall had visibly hinted him it wasn't the most perfect moment to interrogate him. Moreover he had a date to intend to.

Staring at the both of them who obviously had just woken up from sleeping on the same bed, his mischievous grin only grew wider as he wiggled his eyebrows meaningfully. Donghae only cocked an eyebrow at him before he shook his head in incomprehension.

 

"Umm... Good morning, Donghwa-ssi..." Eunhyuk mumbled as he clumsily got up from the bed.

 

"Yeah, right, hello." Donghwa greeted carelessly. "Mom said lunch is ready so get both of your asses down in ten minutes, ok? And you can call me hyung, by the way."

 

"Whatever, Hyung." Donghae rolled his eyes. "We'll be coming soon, alright."

 

"Impolite kid." He cursed playfully and fled away when Donghae threw a pillow at his face.

 

The latter sighed heavily when his brother disappeared and closed the door behind him. Next to him, Eunhyuk obviously relaxed as he slumped back down on the bed, unexpectedly grabbing Donghae's waist on the way. The latter almost squealed as he was pulled on his back, his body brought against Eunhyuk's. Blinking confusedly, he glanced at the redhead who had closed his eyes. "Still sleepy?" He lifted an eyebrow at him. The latter only nodded and released a relieved sigh.

But I'm not. Donghae grumbled inwardly and narrowed his eyes at the other, before he struggled out of his grasp. Eunhyuk playfully tightened his hold around his waist, his eyes still closed but a light grin crept on his face. Donghae noticed it and twatted the back of his head mischievously before he finally managed to get up from the bed. Eunhyuk burst out laughing when the brunette threw him a pouting glare before he hid himself under the blanket, a yawn erupting out from his throat.

He didn't want to get up just yet. This morning had been perfect so far, and it wasn't a stupid lunch that was going to ruin the mood. He was feeling playful this morning, especially around Donghae. Don't ask me why, but I like it. But Donghae seemed to be stubborn about sustaining himself, pulling the redhead out of the mattress by his foot.

 

"Hurry your up!" He exclaimed. "I'm hungry!"

 

"Then go eat!" He retorted, slightly pissed-off. "I'm perfectly fine on my own right here."

 

Abruptly, he felt Donghae slapping his . Startled, he jumped up with a shriek. It was Donghae's turn to bark in laughter as he shoved clean clothes in his hands. "Stop dreaming and hurry!" He shouted out before he went out of the room, probably down to the kitchen.

Eunhyuk grumbled unhappily as he rubbed the pain of his sore and grimaced slightly when he realized what other meanings it could hold. Why did I even think about it though? He sighed exasperated.

"I can't possibly have feelings for that Fish, right?" He mumbled absent-mindedly as he pulled in the shirt. It would be insane. He didn't know him for a long time first, and what would be so attractive in the brunette for him to suddenly turn into a anyway. Frowning lightly and wondering why he was even thinking about such things in the first place, he let himself lay down on the soft mattress once again. He had always thought Hyunah had been his first love because he wanted her to be ; after all, she was y, popular and rich. This was one of the reason he still hadn't broke up with her, but he had to admit to himself he was just creating an illusion for his mind. He wasn't in love, and had never been with anybody. And this girl would have been the wrong choice. He snickered inwardly. It was about time he dumped that .

But on the other hand, the relationship he had with Hyunah was the only one that was close to give him the feeling to be loved. Where will he find another placebo now? He hated to be alone and by himself, with nobody to support him and console him at his sides. But Donghae is by my side... He unwillingly thought. He did supported me and consoled me... He groaned in exasperation and took his head in his hands.

If he had to be honest, his affection for Donghae was stronger than his for Hyunah. It made him safe to a certain point, since falling for Hyunah would claim the end of the world for him, but on the other part, falling for a boy wasn't something he had expected. Homouals didn't disgusted him in any ways ; Siwon was one, after all. He has just always thought that he wasn't this kind. Girls and their curves, their make-up, their tight and y mini-skirts... All that had always satisfied him. Thinking about a boy instead was destabilizing to say the least ; going on a date with Donghae, kissing Donghae, making love to Donghae. It sounded weird for him.

Although, he couldn't help himself but to blush furiously when he suddenly pictured himself kissing Donghae on the lips, his eyes glittering with lust and need. He jumped on his feet, grabbed a magazine on the bedside table and fanned himself with it. "I need to get laid quickly." He grumbled as he narrowed his eyes at one picture of Donghae hanging on the wall. "That's all your fault."

 

"Sorry, but how's that my fault?"

 

Spinning around, his eyes out and mouth agape, he stared at Donghae who was staring at him from the door frame. "What the hell are you doing again?" He asked. "Everybody's waiting for you, you know."

 

"Oh - uh - yes - I mean, ok - yeah." He stammered pathetically. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "I'm coming." He hastily followed Donghae close behind him, eyeing his against his will. Nice.

 

"What were you talking about alone in there anyway?" Donghae asked. "What's my fault?"

 

"Nothing." He shortly replied. "I swear nothing."

 

"Oh really. Doesn't seem like it though?"

 

"Mind your own business." He retorted as they reached the kitchen. "Fishy Fish."

 

"Shut up, stinky Monkey." He hissed back in a whisper as Mrs. Lee turned around and greeted them with a wide and bright smile.

 

"Hello children!" She exclaimed. "How are you?"

 

"Fine, thank you, Mrs. Lee." Eunhyuk replied with a shy grin which elicited a roll of eyes from Donghae.

 

"So, you're the famous Eunhyuk, is that right?" A low voice and cheerful voice rose up in the air. Mr. Lee threw him a small smile before he put his newspaper on the table. "I'm Donghae's father, nice to meet you, kid. Heard a lot about you. How's going your English project?"

 

"Umm... Fine, I think? We just have to look for photos and write the whole thing."

 

"That's only if one lazy is willing to work a little." Donghae grumbled as he served himself cereals and milk. "Right, Eunhyuk?"

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." He raised an eyebrow at the shorter. The latter narrowed his eyes at him and abruptly shoved the box of cereals in his hand as he unhappily mumbled under his breath.

 

"Donghae, be nice." Mr. Lee chuckled before he took a sip of his coffee. "Did you two spend a good night? I'm sorry I couldn't greet you yesterday. I was busy with... I was busy."

 

"Busy with sleeping." Donghae concluded. "Right, Daddy?"

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." He blinked his eyes, copying Eunhyuk's words and eliciting laughter from all the table.

 

I like it, Eunhyuk thought with a wide grin plastered on his face. I like this family.

Eventually when lunch was over, Eunhyuk decided it was time for him to bid his goodbye. Mrs. Lee had protested, saying he was much welcome in her house but the boy had stubbornly refused and said he had to do important things today anyway. Donghae only walked him to the door without a word and avoiding his eyes. Eunhyuk didn't know why the brunette was acting awkward all of a sudden, perplexe of what he should do now. Choosing to stay silent, he greeted goodbye the Lee's with a thankful smile before he went out of the house. Expecting Donghae to somehow leave wordlessly since he was being so quiet for the past ten minutes, Eunhyuk threw him a small smile before a sigh escaped his lips and he headed towards the streets. 

 

"Hey, Hyukjae?" Donghae called him hesitantly. "You know, you -..."

 

"What?" 

 

"Come back whenever you want. We're friends after all. Even... Even tonight, we wouldn't care."

 

"I don't want to be a burden."

 

"Moron, you're not a burden. Just come back tonight, ok? Go take clothes and stuffs and I'll wait for you. Got it?" He almost ordered with a contemptuous tone. 

Eunhyuk cocked an eyebrow in disbelief but let out an agreeing smile at the end, waving silently a hand before he disappeared in the streets. They were recovered with a thick layer of white snow, transforming the city into a clean and fairy dreamland. He went in the subway to escape the piercing cold, wondering what he should do. He was tempted to go back to Donghae's, but the younger was right for the fact he'd better go fetch some clothes first. He was thankful for those he had kindly provided him but they were too tight for him. Moreover, the day after was a school day hence he had to take his uniform or else he was sure to get detention. Sighing loudly and gaining in consequence the annoyed gazes of other passengers, Eunhyuk got up and went down of the wagon at his station. He was practically sure his parents were still home since it was Sunday.

His mind was still filled with questions and confusion ; he had never opened up that much with a stranger, as nice and obedient he was. Donghae was actually the perfect opposite of his one and only best friend ; he was utterly down-to-earth, sarcastic and sometimes a real pain in the , but he couldn't bring himself to despise the brunette. He knew he liked him as a friend, but his real dilemma at this point was to figure out if it wasn't something much bigger than a simple friendship between two teenagers. Himself was amazed by how easily he had revealed a part of his past to the brunette, and how happy he was to know Donghae would call him by his real name from now on. He couldn't deny the way his heartbeat was increasing every time Donghae smiled or touched him accidently, and the way butterflies seemed to grow in his stomach when the brunette's laugh rose up in the air.

Eunhyuk didn't know if he was scared. He didn't know how he should react ; should he ask advices to Siwon? Should he just shut up and keep on living his life as he had always done? How will people react if they knew how conflicted he was right now? Do I like him this way? 

Great, and now what do I do? He sighed heavily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Donghae stared at the ceiling, laying lethargically accros his bed. Hyukjae's sweet strawberry scent still floated around the room and lingered on the bedsheets underneath him. The brunette found it relaxing, turning his head on the side so his nose would brush the sheets slightly. He was lost in his thoughts, his mind wandering freely as he felt a comparable confusion as Eunhyuk's, though he was unaware of the latter's whereabouts and activities at the time being.

Hyukjae had left the house for two hours already, leaving plenty of time for Donghae's mother to bug him so he would clean up his bedroom a bit. He had complied reluctantly because he was lazy but as long as the redhead will be comfortable then that was okay. Moreover, the latter was probably going to crash over his house for a while, judging by what had happened the day before. Which lead Donghae to wonder once again about Hyukjae's past. It made his heart ache painfully to know this boy he had grew so affectionate with had went through such hurtful ordeals. Family was supposed to be the only people you could truly lean on, no matter what mistakes you had done. Nobody ever deserved to be treated that harshly by their own parents. Donghae really didn't want to judge since he had heard only one version of Hyukaje's story, but from what he had witnessed the day he went to the older's house and what he had told him about his childhood, the brunette couldn't help himself but to dislike those two persons he had met only briefly once. For my defense, that sound legit enough. He pursued his lips into an annoyed and perplexed pout before he rolled on his side and grabbed a pillow to hug it. Waves of strawberry scent hit his nose as he realized it was the one Hyukjae had used that night.

Donghae already knew the redhead was still hiding something from him, whether it was because he was scared or simply because he wasn't ready to tell yet, and his instinct told him it had to do with what his parents had accused him the time he heard them fight.

"When you jumped down that roo-"

A shiver went down his spine while his mind was already making up all sort of scenarios. He was curious and worried at the same time. He was afraid of the silly acts the redhead had done in the past, and the fact he had a very wild and vivid imagination didn't help him when he tried to reason himself maybe it wasn't that bad. What the hell that stupid Santa Claus dude did again? He cursed under his breath.

All Donghae knew was that this awful event had most probably broke Hyukjae. He remembered when Kyuhyun had told him rumors said the redhead had been a nice guy until the end of primary school. "Yeah, I heard rumors that something happened during the last year of elementary school..."

 

"In ninth grade, I -..."

 

Frowning deeply, he sat up and ruffled his hair with frustration. He wanted to know, not only for the sake of satisfying his undying curiosity, but also because he cared for Hyukjae deeply, whether he wanted it or not. Making his mind up, a determined glitter shined in his eyes before he turned around and grabbed his handphone on the bedside table. Only one person could know everything about Lee Hyukjae and possibly tell him about it ; Choi Siwon. He scrolled through his list of contacts, cursing loudly when he realized he didn't have Siwon's phone number. Hitting the ground with his foot childishly twice, he finally decided to send a text message to another number he knew by heart. Proudly watching the little icon proving the message had been sent, he stood up and went out in the hallway, knowing perfectly well he still had about fifteen minutes before Kyuhyun would reach his house.

Without a word, he went down the stairs and found his mother bustling about luggages and train tickets. With a blink of eyes, he suddenly recalled her telling him the day after yesterday that his father was going on a business trip at Busan and she was tagging along. Suddenly realizing Hyukjae and him were going to be alone at home tonight since his brother was out to some party again, he wordlessly helped her mother, almost amazed by the turn of events. In some odd ways, he almost felt relieved and happy to know they weren't going to be bothered tonight, even though he wasn't so sure what kind of stuffs he didn't want to be interrupted. He still knew that he was a little bit too overjoyed about this to define this feeling as a mere excitement to spend the night with a good friend.

Mrs. Lee abruptly pulled him out of his thoughts as she asked him to open the door. With an absent hum, he nodded and lazily went away to welcome the guest.

 

 

 

"You better have a good reason to have gotten me out of bed Lee Donghae." Kyuhyun pouted childishly as he hit a plush on his bed.

The guest revealed to be his best friend who he had completely forgotten while thinking a little too hard about Hyukjae. They had went up to his room after the younger had greeted his mother, and now they were sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall.

 

"You were still sleeping now? It's three o'clock in the afternoon, Kyuhyun."

 

"And? Well you might want to know that we grow when we sleep, and I'm not that handsomely tall for nothing."

 

"Not to add incredibly lazy as well. And arrogant." He stated with a roll of eyes.

 

"Ooh, don't be so jealous, Donghae. You should try," Kyuhyun smirked teasingly as he patted the top of the other's head. "Drink a lot of soup too and one day you'll reach my shoulder. Maybe."

 

"Stop it." Donghae hissed as he swatted the hand away. "I'm still older than you, brat. In fact, I'm technically the hyung here."

 

"Which makes it way more delectable for me, hyung." Kyuhyun innocently smiled at him while purposely looking down at the smaller brunette.

 

"Be happy I need you, else I'd already have kicked you." He glared at the younger forcefully.

 

"Right, about that, mind to finally tell me why I'm here?"

Donghae nodded slightly before he took a deep breath and explained everything Hyukjae had told him the past night, frowning and clenching his fists unconsciously whenever a wage of anger against the redhead's parents washed through him. Kyuhyun stayed silent, listening quietly and frowning sometimes as well, until Donghae stopped talking.

They didn't say a word at first, one of them trying to register what had been said while the other did his best to calm his shaken feelings and genuine concern for Hyukjae.

"Why... Why are you telling me all that?" Kyuhyun finally spoke up shortly after.

 

"What do you mean?" Donghae said suddenly confused. "Because you're my best friend and I need your help."

 

"No, I mean... Haven't you thought that maybe Eunhyuk - or Hyukjae, didn't want you to tell anybody about it? He just opened up to you, and from what you told me I guess it's the first time he confessed to someone else than Siwon, so he might still feel unsure and... unused to the trust he had put in you. I get it that we know each other since we began wearing diapers but aren't you worried he might get upset if he knows? I know you know I won't tell anybody, but..."

 

"No! I - I just... I -..." He stammered at lost of words. He hadn't think about this aspect, his mind only driven by his concern for the redhead. Well, . He thought as he began to feel guilty. He knew he shouldn't have talked without Hyukjae's consent. "I -... haven't think about it." He mumbled shamefully.

Kyuhyun was right, as always. But Donghae was so close to the taller brunette that doubt didn't even cross his mind ; he knew he could trust him and they had never kept anything from the other in their entire life.

"."

 

"Hmm. I guess we can think about that later on. Now, even though you told me how wonderfully peacfeul his household seems to be," He continued with sarcasm dripping out of each words and Donghae could tell Kyuhyun was outraged as well. "I still don't know what it has to do with me?"

 

"Yeah, I -... Can you bring me to Choi Siwon's house?"

 

Almost instantly, Kyuhyun spun around on the bed, making it squeak because of the sudden movement, while the younger widened his eyes in shock at Donghae. "W - What makes you think that I know that?!"

 

"Exactly the same thing that makes me think you want to go there more than you'd like to admit." Donghae retorted as he cocked a meaningful eyebrow at his best friend.

 

"Well you're wrong! I can't believe I left my bed for this!"

 

"Why are you so worked up now?"

 

"Because-...! Because... Why do you even need to go to his house anyway?!" He asked defensively and Donghae was almost sure he heard a hint of jealousy in Kyuhyun's voice.

 

"To , of course."

 

"Yah." Kyuhyun scowled.

 

"Don't be so jealous, Kyuhyun." He snickered and earned a slap on the arm in return. "I just need to ask him some things. You can come with me, if you are so scared I might him."

 

"Shut the hell up." He spat back.

They continued to bicker loudly, agreeing silently to head to Siwon's house. Donghae decided to ingore for now why Kyuhyun actually knew where Siwon lived and after he bid his parents goodbye, kissing their cheek and wishing them a great week-end, they went out in the streets while wearing thick winter coats.

They chatted meaninglessly through the walk, pushing their hands as deep as possible into their pockets while condensation blew out of their nose and mouth every time they talked or even merely breathed. The coat of snow was still there, slightly dirty by all the walking of the people, but it didn't lack of the usual feeling of magic that surrounded this kind of view as it crunched under their shoes while they were walking. The cold was biting but it didn't stop kids to go out on the streets and build snowmen under their parent's responsible gaze. Donghae gazed at them, remembering when Kyuhyun and him were at the same age, running into the snow and starting fight whenever their parents would be distracted. A small grin spread on his face. Now they only were lazy and "mature" students who apparenty were too old now to play at this kind of things. Who says that? He sniffled with annoyance and Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow at them. He was about to tell him he wanted to play with the snow some time later when the younger pointed a huge house at the end of the street.

 

"He lives there." Kyuhyun said. "The big one. With the Santa Claus hanging upside down."

 

"Nice house." He whistled. "You got a nice handsome and wealthy guy hitting on you, huh?"

 

"I hate you."

 

 

 

Choi Siwon was comfortably relaxing on his dark leather armchair, his legs crossed as he elegantly took a small sip of his Americano. He had put on a jazz CD, the faint melody reaching agreably his ears. He turned a page of his English written newspapers, running a hand through his hair absent-mindedly, before he glanced at the wall clock. It was barely four o'clock and a satisfied grin reach his lips before he let himself drown in his usual routine once again.

Anybody unfamiliar with his lifestyle would have easily come to the conclusion that Choi Siwon was the stereotype of the perfect man of those American TV series. Though he did his best to deny those ridiculous rumors - he didn't have any helipcoteres, thank-you-very-much -, he still couldn't get himself to change his habits. He was born this way, after all ; handsome, wealthy, and incredibly cheesy. He wasn't particularly arrogant nor narcissistic. It was actually the contrary because he hated to gain attention only because of his money ; which wasn't even his own since it was his father who earned it. This was maybe why he always stuck with Hyukjae ; they both didn't like the attention. The latter had just left the house half a hour ago after he had came to fetch some clean clothes. Siwon had been surprised but happy for his friend nonetheless to learn the readhead was going to spend the night at Donghae's. He was glad the other finally found someone else than himself to relay on, because it hurt him to know Eunhyuk had no one else.

Pushing those boring thoughts aside, he continued to read a random article about the current economic situation of France. Raising his eyebrows with a slight interest, he vaguely heard the front door opening. Thinking it was only the redhead who already came back because he had forgot whatever, he didn't bother checking who it was. Still immersed into the article, he barely registered it when a hardcover book suddenly hit the back of his head. Siwon almost spilled his hot drink on his pants, cursing both at the pain and at Eunhyuk. He spun around on his chair, ready to yell at the redhead.

Only it wasn't Lee Hyukjae before him. Blinking twice, he stared at Kyuhyun with his mouth stupidly open, too shocked to say anything. Indeed, the man of his wet dreams - And normal ones too, ok? - was standing just in front of his eyes, next to his armchair. His brown locks were covered with melting snow, while his cheeks and his nose were slightly red because of the cold. His piercing gaze clearly significated he was waiting for Siwon to say something, but the latter was too mesmerized by the only fact Kyuhyun was in his house to let out any words. His eyes traveled down his face to his lips, staring at the redness of them while gulping discreetly, until he realized the shorter brunette wasn't alone.

He cleared his throat embarrassingly when he met Donghae's eyes who raised an eyebrow at him, clearly meaning Can't you be more obvious when you check him out? but almost as if he had dreamt it, the brunette's gaze quickly lowered with fear and stared at his feet.

"Umm... H - Hi." He said awkwardly. "What are you guys doing here?"

 

"Donghae wanted to talk to you." Kyuhyun replied with a shrug as he took off his coat. "Where can I put that?"

 

"Uh there's a cupboard at the entrance."

 

"Great. Donghae, give me yours. Anybody wants a coffee?" He asked. The latter tried to speak up, but his mouth didn't allow him him anything anymore so he just stayed quiet, glaring forcefully at random things while handing his coat. "I've always wanted to know what a horse's kitchen looks like." He declared before he disappeared into the hallway.

 

"So, umm..." Siwon tried to start a conversation hesitantly. "How are you doing?"

 

Fine, Donghae tried to answer but only managed to nod slightly at the end, his eyes not even meeting Siwon's. He had almost forgot what it was like to lost his ability of speaking freely. He narrowed his eyes at his shoes as his body kept disobeying him when he wanted to straigthen up a little bit.

He was glad he had convinced Kyuhyun to tag along - though the other had gave in quite quickly, and trustfully he wasn't surprised - because now he couldn't speak anything anymore. It was even more frustating since he had spent the last two days speaking as much as he wished with either Kyuhyun or Hyukjae. He had gladly gotten used to it and now reality was hitting him like a bag of bricks ; the problem was still present, no matter what he wanted to believe.

A pregnant silence fell between them, one of them feeling slightly uneasy to suddenly have two of his classmates in his house out of the blue while the other couldn't do anything but stay mute.

Thankfully, Kyuhyun quickly came back with two mugs of coffee while whistling and admiring his surroundings, before he sniggered discreetly when he saw Donghae still struggling with himself.

"So," He exlcaimed as he sat down on the couch next to Donghae and handed him one of the mugs. "How are you doing, Choi Siwon?" Wanna bet he's thinking something along the lines 'Incredibly fine since you're here'? Donghae snickered inwardly.

 

"Well." Siwon replied with a smile. "I'm going well. But... If this isn't too impolite, why are guys here though?"

 

"Why, you don't like it?"

 

"W - What? N - No, of course I like it! It's just that-..." He's completely loving it. Donghae discreetly rolled his eyes. "I didn't expect it, that's all." Siwon mumbled.

 

"Hmm..." Kyuhyun hummed softly as he drank his hot drink. "Well, actually it's not me but Donghae."

 

"Oh? What is it?"

 

Donghae's head snapped up and he blinked uncomfortably. ing frog dump, he cursed inwardly when he opened his mouth but nothing came out. Siwon stared at him curiously, waiting for the shortest brunette to say something. Kyuhyun watched Donghae trying to speak with an amused smirk ; it has been a while since he had witnessed those hilarious moments.

"I - I - I-... It's about, umm..." Donghae felt his cheeks burning up against his own will. "A - About H - Hyukjae, and -..."

 

"Sorry, who?" Siwon asked surprised. Let me speak, . "Did you just say Hyukjae?" Are you ing deaf now?

 

Donghae nodded. "I-... He told me about h - his past, and I wondered - uuhhh - well, a - about -..." His stuttering was slowly getting on his nerves and he closed his eyes to try to focus. I ing hate my holy ing life. "Okay, I-... Hyukjae told me about his childhood and everything and I just - I wondered something about what happened during t - the last year of primary school. It's - I - I wanted to know because I care and - and - yeah..." Don't make me repeat or I'll definitely strangle you.

 

"He... really did...? Wow. You must mean a lot for him then..." Donghae ducked his head down as a blush crept on his face. Perfect. ing perfect, why am I blushing now?! "But I don't know if I should tell you this, Donghae... Hyukjae might get angry at me if he's not the one telling you that."

Kyuhyun then let out a sigh and put his mug on the coffee table before he turned around and stared at Siwon. He shot him a seductive smile before he patted the place on the couch next to him. Donghae raised his eyebrows in disbelief, already guessing what the younger was planning to do. Siwon hesitantly got up from his armchair to sit down at Kyuhyun's side, his overreacted gestures obviously filled with nervousity and anticipation at the same time. Donghae remained silent because he knew that with Kyuhyun's manipulative and sneaky mind, they were sure to hear what they had came here for.

Kyuhyun wrapped an arm around Siwon's shoulders who immediately stiffened when he felt the brunette touch him. He gulped discreetly and glanced at the younger who sweetly smiled at him. "Siwon..." He said with a soft voice. "Siwon, you know I like you a lot right? And you know I know you checked me out that day I went swimming, right?" Oh ho. Here it comes!

Siwon stayed silent and blushed furiously. "Oh my, my, don't be so shy, Siwon. Well... I thought I might go again next week since I still have to go through the test right? But," He continued with a dramatic sigh. "since I know Donghae is going to whine because he won't know what he wants to know, maybe I won't be able to make it..." Who the hell is whining?!

 

"You - You might come swimming?" Siwon asked, oblivious to the fact there already was a new P.E. cycle and that Kyuhyun had basketball now. "Really?"

 

"Huh huh."

 

"Well... I guess I can tell you, since you won't tell him I told you, right?"

 

"Of course, Siwon. Of course. You know me." That's the problem I think.

 

Siwon sent them a last hesitant glance before he sighed in defeat. "Well... Everything had always been hard between Hyukjae and his parents. I've met them once few years ago and honestly I don't want to see their face ever again. They are so scary. They have this... oppressing aura and when they look at you, it's almost as if you don't pee on yourself. My own parents are far from being the best, but Hyukjae seriously has no luck. They hold something similar to a formal relationship between an employeur and his bullied employee rather than parents and son. Call it stupid or irrational but Hyukjae still love them. Since they are his father and his mother I guess it's normal. But when I first met him, he was always smiling and harmless. I remember he always worked hard and was one of the best students of primary school. Almost like Kyuhyun. His parents never seemed satisfied enough though, they were always demanding more and more. Hyukjae always told me it was alright as long as Sora noona was there at home. They were really close and she always did her best to help him because she had also went through this when she was younger. During the last year of primary school though, Sora noona went to America for a job opportunity or whatever it was.  Hyukjae's parents were highly against the idea of their daughter becoming a stylist. So they just took all their anger on Hyukjae. It doesn't really look like it but he's really fragile deep down. He was already shaken enough to see his sister leave him for a far away country but his parents also had to boss him around more than usual. Which means a lot, I tell you. He was a mess everyday at school ; he wasn't smiling anymore, he looked exhausted and upset all the damn time. I did my best to help him out, he was sleeping over my house every night, but I guess what had to happen, happened at last.

There was this... mathematic contest or something. Th school had to send out two representatives for each class ; the best students of the subject. I was chosed with Hyukjae. But he refused because he was sick of it all, and when his parents learnt it through the headmaster, they went ballistic on him. He had told me the next day that he didn't have sleep because they were arguing so hard, screaming and yelling the whole night. And - And -... That day I was called by the homeroom teacher with other students for the contest so I had to leave him for a good hour. I don't know what exactly happened but-... He went to the rooftop to think and then he just - he simply - he broke down. H - He jumped. He tried to kill himself."

Siwon's last words hit Donghae so violently he couldn't breathe anymore. A dead silence fell between the three of them. He tried to kill himself, Donghae repeated inwardly. He tried to kill himself...

All his questions and doubts about the redhead seemed to clear up instantly ; he now understood why Hyukjae was so cold and harsh with everybody, and why he had such a strong despise for weaknesses. He was just scared, and tried to shield himself from any threats.

"He broke a leg and few ribs, on top of a cerebral commotion." Siwon continued quietly. "He had stayed in coma for three days at least before he woke up. But nothing changed between him and his parents except they were even more rude with their son. After that, Hyukjae was never the same. He rebels against everything all the time, even the tiniest things. He's just - He is just scared."

 

 

 

As soon as Donghae stepped out of the house, he let oud a loud and frustrated shout in the middle of the street. Some passers-by were startled and glared at him, but Kyuhyun didn't say anything to stop his friend and just let him be while shoving his hands in his pockets. Snow was still falling down from the sky as it became darker and darker. They started to head back home.

"I'm going crazy, seriously." Donghae gritted through his teeth. "What the am I supposed to do know?!"

 

"I should buy a bottle of wine." Kyuhyun mumbled as they walked past a shop. He knew better than to reply to Donghae, foresighting the shortest was most probably going to let out his frustration on him. "And you, you should buy beers, dude. There's nothing left at yours, it every time I go there."

 

Donghae stared at him before a wide smile spread on his face, erasing the upcoming glare. He grabbed his best friend's shoulders and crushed him against his chest. "You're such a genius!"

 

"I already know that, but may I know why this time?"

 

Donghae merely ignored him and fled off to a nearby convenience store.

 

 

 

Eunhyuk cursed under his breath as he stepped a first foot on the ground of his garden as silently as it was humanly possible. When he safely landed on the soft grass of the backyard of his house after jumping out from the staircase's window, he glanced around him worriedly before he tip-toed discreetly to the hedge. He briefly saw his parents watching TV through the french window of the living-room, completely oblivious to the fact their son was trying to escape from the house like a thief after having went up to his bedrooom to fetch some clothes and his high school uniform. As he jumped over the hedge, he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. Quickly getting away from the place, he opened the text message and smirked.

 

I just bought beers and vodka and everything to get ourselves drunk as hell. Get your home quick. -Donghae

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hyukjae burst out laughing when Donghae tripped on his own feet and fell flatly on the floor. The latter grumbled slightly in pain as he got up, glancing at the redhead who kept laughing while showing all of his gum.

They didn't know how long they had been drinking for, whether it had been ten minutes or hours. However, the sky was already completely dark and the wall clock indicated it was almost midnight already. Empty cans of beer and one of vodka were laying forgotten on the floor of the living-room. They had the TV but its faint sound wasn't registered by their cloudy mind.

Donghae was at a stage where he knew he was awfully drunk but couldn't do anything about it anyway. He was still sort of lucid although he could foresight a horrible hangover the next morning - in addition of the fact it was a Monday. All he knew was that Hyukjae seemed to have a very low tolerance to alcohol. Even if the amount of the liquid he had drank was huge, the redhead was completely wasted. His eyes were shining with excitation, his hair were disheveled and his voice was slurry. He wasn't even able to get himself on his feet more than one minute without leaning on something.

Alcohol had invaded his system, making him dizzy and ecstatic. His eyes traveled around the room before they stopped on Donghae's face and then to his opened shirt. He stared intensitly at the bare tanned skin, whistling in appreciation. The brunette looked absolutely y and alluring when he was under the influence of beers and vodka. Donghae's unfocused eyes briefly met his own, sending a shiver down Hyukjae's spine, before he collapsed next to him. All his thoughts were muddled up together and he couldn't distinguish his rationality and his past confused feelings anymore, his mind driven wild by impulsions. He his lips sensually with cloudy eyes as he leant down toward Donghae. The latter took another gulp of beer and a wave of his intoxicating scent reach Hyukjae's nostrils. The redhead wasn't thinking straight anymore and a slight groan erupted out of his throat as he abruptly buried his face into Donghae's neck. He felt the other startle in surprise but he didn't move nonetheless.

"You smell so good..." He whispered huskily.

 

"Hmm..." Donghae was getting sleepier each seconds and rested his own head on Hyukjae's. "So what...?"

Hyukjae didn't say anything but inhaled deeply and sighed with contentment. Without thinking, his lips lightly touched Donghae's skin and traveled up to his jaw where he nibbled the flesh. 

"If you continue like that, don't say it's my fault." He mumbled.

 

"What do you mean?" Hyukjae asked as he sneaked his arms around the other's waist.

 

Donghae turned his face and gazed into the redhead's brown orbs. They were so close their nose was almost touching.

And then, without a second thought, he grabbed Hyukjae's nape and pulled him until he crashed their lips together. There was no tongue at first, only their lips connecting abruplty one against another, but the redhead couldn't help himself but to let out a loud groan. They parted slightly only to kiss once again, this time longer as Donghae's tongue roamed aggressively into Hyukjae's hot cavern who shamelessly moaned out every time he was and nibbling on his pink muscle. The kiss became hotter and hotter as they both fell down on the carpet, still holding each other as they continued to hungrily move their tongues together into a sensual dance. 

They didn't know what was happening, only the pleasure was registered by their mind clouded with alcohol and sudden lust. Hyukjae gripped Donghae's hair into a tight grasp before he pulled the other's body incredibly closer to his, forcing the younger to kiss him harder.

"We should stop..." He murmured when Donghae's mouth left his own to on the flesh of this throat. "This isn't right..."

 

"Yeah..." Donghae mumbled back. "Make me stop..."

Eunhyuk let out a chocked groan when he began to on the skin to leave a deep purple hickey. His pants were already straining a growing and even if he tried, he couldn't understand what was happening to him. Although, he couldn't deny how much he wanted Donghae at this precise moment. He knew deep down that it was only his real desires becoming reality but he didn't want to admit it just yet. Putting all the responsabily on the abuse of drinking, he gladly welcomed Donghae's mouth on his once again, out loud when their tongues moved against each other. "Don't stop..." He almost pleaded. It was as if shock waves of pleasure were rushing through their body every time their skin touched and every time they kissed. The air around them grw hotter and thicker as they continued to moan out loudly, their hands roaming curiously on their heated figure.

They dragged their drunken body up to Donghae's bedroom where they collapsed on the bed, sharing sloppy kisses all the way with lustful and blurry mind until they fell asleep into each other arms, closer than ever. 

---

Hello fellows!

I'm terribly sorry, I know it's been a long time since I last updated... Actually, this is because first ; I'm a lazybum during vacation and I can write only when I'm in class, and secondly, the effing spelling corrector of the site isn't working as for now so I had to edit everything by myself. Knowing that I'm lazy, well it took me a long time to make it short.

It's probably the longest chapter of this story so far ._. I'm impressed myself by this. I hope you liked it :D Now we know a little more about Hyukjae's past (not to say everything) and they just kissed!!! OMG, what to do now.

How are they going to react the next morning?! Are they going to finally understand their feelings?!

I really do hope you liked it :')

 

Thank you for reading ~ Please remember commenting and subscribing and upvoting :"> Thank youuu

 

I apologize for any grammatical or spelling mistakes