Confusion

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The loud and annoying sound of Hyukjae's phone made him startle in his sleep as he suddenly straightened up on his bed. Quickly grabbing his handphone, he turned the alarm off with a curse and let himself slump back down on the soft mattress. A horrible headache thumped harshly in his temples as he grimaced. What the hell happened...? He grabbed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to soothe the pain away somehow. His mind was still blurry and his memories of the past night weren't clear yet. He didn't even remember drinking in the first place, not too mention he did so much he was now stuck with a terrible hangover. His whole body ached as a sudden urge to throw up washed through him. He got up quickly while holding his mouth and sprinted out of the room to the bathroom where he regurgitated what remained in his stomach. He let out an annoyed sigh as he leaned against the wall facing the WC. He glanced at the mirror hanging on the wall and groaned when he saw how pitiful he looked ; he had big dark circles under his eyes while his skin looked as white as a piece of paper. He splashed water on his face to try clearing up his thoughts and remember if he had done anything inconsiderate the past night. Slowly undressing, he went in the shower cubicle, thinking hard while taking a hot shower.

He recalled drinking more than he could, dozens of cans and probably some vodka as well. He remembered he had spent a good night somehow and then at some point he had laughed when Donghae had fell on the floor pitifully. From then, everything in his mind was just a mixture of blurry and undefined pictures. He closed his eyes tight then slowly went out of the shower and dried himself before he went back to Donghae's bedroom. The latter was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head with a slight groan. He didn't bother glancing at Hyukjae before he escaped to the bathroom as well. Hyukjae ignored the younger and collapsed on the bed, crunching up his nose when he noticed his clothes shrank alcohol. He crawled to a corner of the room and dressed into his high school uniform before he went out of the bedroom. He faintly heard Donghae taking a shower and without further thoughts, he went down to the living-room where he stared at the mess dumbfounded. Was it really us who did that? Hyukjae scratched his head perplexed and bent down to fetch an empty bottle of vodka laying on the floor. He frowned slightly, wondering what had happened before he fell asleep, and how he even made it to the bedroom in the first place. With a defeated sigh, he began to tidy up the living-room a little while waiting for Donghae to come down.

He felt odd as if he was forgetting something highly important, but he couldn't remember what it was which made him frowning continuously. He sat down on the couch and looked around the room with curiosity. He pursued his lips in a questioning expression and crossed his arms on his chest. Donghae finally made his appearance in the living-room with tired eyes and his schoolbag was hanging loosely on one of his shoulders. He waved carelessly at the redhead who only nodded in response, observing the brunette intensely from head to toe until his sight catch the view of his exposed neck. Then, his eyes widened as he saw the deep purple mark on the tanned flesh of the teenager. Oh my ing... Who the did that? An uneasy feeling grew in the pit of his stomach as he stared blankly at the hickey that apparently had went unnoticed by Donghae. The latter only disappeared in the kitchen to eat something. Panicked, Hyukjae jumped up from the couch and sprinted to the mirror hanging on the wall and stared at his own throat. A choked gasp escaped his lips as he found a similar marks on the side of his neck. He stared at it horrified with wide eyes, trying to cope with the meaning it revealed. No, no, no! This isn't possible! His mind was screaming at him. Why didn't I noticed that earlier?!

And then he recalled everything, his memories as vivid as if it happened only few seconds ago. The way they touched each other, the way they kissed, moaned and asked for more. The way their tongues curled against each other, the way their face were flushed with intense pleasure until they eventually fell asleep into each other's embrace - Thank God. He clearly remembered how aroused he had been the past night under Donghae's smooth hands roaming over his heated body and how he even encouraged it. He gulped loudly, spinning around and grabbing his head as a desperate groan erupted out of his throat. Oh my God! He couldn't believe they had done this! He had kissed a boy, for God's sake! He wasn't even gay! Oh my ing God! A sudden urge to throw up again took him as he ran to the kitchen's sink and regurgitated once again. Donghae stared at him blankly as if he was completely crazy.

 

"Are you okay?" He asked.

 

"No!" He spat back. "I'm not ing 'ok'! What happened yesterday, it - it -... It was a horrible mistake and I just - This is ing insane!"

 

"What the hell are you talking about, Hyukjae?" Donghae began to panic.

 

"Don't you ing dare calling me Hyukjae, you ing - you little -...!"

 

"What?! Hyukjae, I can't understand anything if you don't explain!"

 

"We ing kissed, ok?! We ing each other's face yesterday ; now, happy?!" Eunhyuk screamed at the top of his lungs. "This is completely ing insane!"

 

"What?!" He repeated louder. "N - No, we didn't! I don't remember that!"

 

"Well, you're just stupid! We ing did, and now -..." He took a deep breath furiously before he forcefully glared at the brunette.

Donghae was taken aback by the sudden hatred he could see into Hyukjae's eyes as the latter walked past him, not missing to bump against his shoulder and then stormed out of the house.

Donghae blinked, small tears unexpectedly forming at the corners of his eyes. He had forgot how hateful and cold Hyukjae's glares could be. So much had happened in such a short amount of time he didn't know how to bear with it at all, and the only solution he found was letting out his confusion and sadness with tears. He was beyond hurt as well ; Hyukjae's words seemed to stab his heart a little deeper with each seconds. The past events had slowly cleared up in his mind and he remembered the redhead's lips against his own, their softness and the sweet kisses they had shared. Donghae's chest tightened because he knew Hyukjae was disgusted by the fact they had shared a kiss.

Donghae was already late for school but for the first time, he didn't care.

 

 

 

Eunhyuk walked furiously throughout the snowed streets of the city, glaring at anybody had the bad luck to meet his eyes.

His anger was guiding his every moves. He wasn't able to think rationally anymore, the image of himself kissing Donghae appearing again and again in his mind. He was way too panicked and shocked to sort it out calmly, and letting his anger control him seemed like a better idea at this moment. He wanted to scream and shout at this injustice. Fate didn't let him the time to think seriously about his feelings for the brunette that he already had to face something almost as hard to cope with.

Hyukjae had faced too much those last days and that made him turn himself against everything. He just needed to clear up his head but truth was he didn't how to do so. He was lost, completely lost, and he honestly needed the help of a good friend. He crunched his nose and immediately decided against it because Siwon was at school and he wasn't ready to face Donghae. And the only other friend he trusted was the one and only Donghae he wanted to avoid more than anything.

He kicked an empty can that was laying on his way as he shoved his hands in his pockets. A little kid yelped in fear as the object bumped against his leg and ran away from him. His feet had unconsciously brought him back to his house. With a shaking and resigned sigh, he bluntly went in, ignoring his parents who were heading for work and locked himself in his bedroom. He stomped around the room like a wild beast, glaring at everything and then let himself fall down on his bed with a furious grumble. Now that he thought about it, he had to admit he sort of overreacted earlier and a part of him worried if he had hurt Donghae.

Homouality wasn't something that disgusted him. Although, it was hard to believe that he suddenly liked men instead of girls. As far as he remembered, Eunhyuk had always been attracted by women ; older or younger, as long as they were willing to spread their legs for him then he was fine. Imagining himself ing with a boy was terrifying, not to add it wasn't some random boy but Donghae.

Eunhyuk, as well as every children of this planet, had been raised in a society where homouality isn't really accepted. He had been taught that love between two people of the same gender wasn't normal, that it was against nature and disgusting. This was why so many teenagers were struggling with themselves, because they are scared of their confused feelings, but most of all they are afraid of how will react others ; their friends, their family and society. Of course, Eunhyuk didn't believe any of that and he even wanted to snort at those stupidities; love wasn't something reserved only to specific people, it was a force that no one could hold back. Even though, the first reaction he could pull up was to deny it. He didn't even know if he was gay or not, or if it was only just because of Donghae, but all he knew was that he was plainly afraid.

 

 

 

Kyuhyun glanced at his best friend staring out at the window absent-mindedly with a concerned sigh. He wasn't used to see Donghae so tired on a Monday ; true to his inner nerdy nature, the brunette was the type to be happy when he knew school was about to start again. But today, Donghae was too quiet and his face showed so many worries that Kyuhyun knew something was wrong.

And hell yeah, something is completely wrong... He thought as he recalled what Donghae had told him during the first period ; Eunhyuk and Donghae kissed yesterday. Honestly, he was kind of surprised to hear about this because the redhead wasn't the type to suddenly jump on someone just because of alcohol. Not to say he didn't even know Eunhyuk was such a lousy drinker. But anyway, Kyuhyun didn't like to see his best nerdy friend so down. He eyed the rest of the classroom which was being annoyingly noisy since it was a free period and spotted Siwon on the third row, reading a book. With a slight pout, he got up and went to sit at the table next to him.

"Your best friend is a serious ." He stated.

 

Siwon blinked as he looked up from the Literature work. "Sorry?"

 

"I said, Eunhyuk's an ."

 

"Oh, uuh... Why's that?"

 

"Because of that jerk, Donghae is all grumpy today. See? He's not smiling and today, it's Monday. Donghae's never grumpy on a Monday."

 

Siwon glanced at the brunette, mentally agreeing he wasn't looking really well today. Moreover, he still haven't seen Hyukjae yet and he was beginning to worry about him. He usually would already have received a call or even a text message to let him know the redhead was skipping classes. "Maybe he didn't sleep well..." He mumbled absent-mindedly.

 

"Bull. Trust me, he slept damn well last night." Kyuhyun retorted as he stretched his back. Siwon stared at his arms muscles moving underneath the white fabric of his shirt. "I guess your stupid best friend still didn't tell you, huh?"

 

"Tell me what?" It was hard for Siwon to focus on anything Kyuhyun was saying, as the only thing his mind was according attention to was his red and plump lips. Even though, he still felt tense to hear the concerned tone he could distinguish under the fake annoyed and mocking one. Kyuhyun seemed to be genuinely worried for his best friend. He couldn't help to feel slightly jealous but at the same time he found it incredibly sweet and cute. He hoped Kyuhyun would stop worrying and smile again soon, so he decided to understand the current situation quickly. A deep frown appeared between his brows as he turned to the side and faced the younger brunette who raised an eyebrow at him.

 

"Apparently," Kyuhyun began as he stole Siwon's book. "They kind of -... Kind of kissed, I guess. While they were drunk, on top of that."

 

"They ing did what?!"

 

"Don't yell!"

 

"But - But - Kissed?! Why?!"

 

"How the hell would I know?" Kyuhyun exclaimed while shrugging. "I guess their inner true feelings got revealed thanks to the help of alcohol or something. I wasn't there, you know? Either ways, Donghae told me Eunhyuk snapped this morning when he remembered they had shared saliva. At least, that's what Donghae told me. As you can see he's quite depressed right now so he's not talking much compared to usual."

 

"And Hyukjae's not replying to any of my texts." Siwon frowned again. "That's stupid. They shouldn't have reacted like this, it's so obvious they liked each other really much. But I guess Eunhyuk just isn't used to any of this."

 

"They don't really know how much they like each other, that's the real problem, I tell you. Well, fortunately I got the idea to ask Sunah to put them together for the English project."

 

"Wait, what? You're the one who put them together?"

 

"Well, technically, it's Sunah. But I guess we can also put it that way, yeah. I just wanted to have a little fun this year, since every time we start a new year it's incredibly boring."

 

"This is... absolutely evil, Kyuhyun." Siwon stated in awe.

 

"That's why you like me." Kyuhyun snickered. "Anyways, we should... talk to them, at least. Don't put them together yet or they're just going to be awkward, if not killing each other right away. I'm probably going to make Donghae skip this afternoon classes. You, do your best so Eunhyuk would stop acting like a damn PMsing ."

 

"Okay. I'll try, but that moron is stubborn. But, hey, Kyuhyun?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

"I-... We -... Tomorrow -... M - Maybe, uh -..." Siwon stammered. "N - No, nothing. Just -... Forget it."

 

Kyuhyun cocked an eyebrow with disbelief and let out a tired sigh. "Look, I already have to deal with my childish best friend over here so don't act like a damn prude as well." He exclaimed. "If you want to ask me out, ing do it like a man, for God's sake."

With a last contemptuous glance, Kyuhyun walked away to sit with Donghae.

 

The latter was still staring into space, his mind still as confused as before. Even school wasn't able to keep his head focusing on something else than what had happened this morning. His eyes were watching snow flakes falling on the ground without really registering it. He was utterly conflicted because of everything. On the one hand, he knew he had to sort it out sooner or later. He knew he didn't kiss Hyukjae randomly and that he had a deeper reason for that. Donghae wasn't the type to act inconsiderately just because of the slight influence of alcohol. The only thing was, he didn't want to face it just yet. He didn't want to because he knew that if he did realize what he was scared to, then he would be even more hurt than he currently was. He knew the feeling that pushed him to kiss Hyukjae the last night was the same one that will break his heart into pieces every time he would remember how hateful and disgusted the redhead's glare was this very morning.

Classes went by slowly, as if time had stopped. But Donghae wasn't paying attention to any of this, concentrating his mind on random things to keep himself from thinking too much. The teacher had scolded him a few times, not used to see one of his best students zoning out so much, but gave up at some point, more worried for the brunette than anything else. Kyuhyun had stayed silent since the beginning, only stealing glances at his depressed best friend from time to time, and shared a meaningful look with Sunah when they met her briefly in the hallway. Donghae looked like a walking dead the whole morning, staring blankly once again when they were sitting at the cafeteria table.

Not even his bad habitude to be disable of freely speaking bothered him that day because he just didn't feel like talking. When Heechul and few other people went to talk to him, he could only nod slightly, obviously ignoring all his surroundings.

 

Donghae blinked as he stared at the white mug he was supposed to fill with milk. He looked around him, surprised to find himself behind the counter bar of the Dumpling Café with an apron on. Hankyung sent him a worried glance before he grabbed the empty mug and took care of it.

Kyuhyun had dragged him there one hour ago, stating "your brain is completely useless for school as for the time being, so do something productive and make yourself some money". He didn't really had the time to protest that he was already hurrying himself to fulfill the customers' orders. In a way, he was glad to be here because the job kept him from thinking about anything else than coffee and milk and sugar, and anything that had to do with his working place. He felt at peace to be back at his favorite place besides his own house. Apologizing quickly to his boss who only threw him a gentle wink, he took a deep breath and forced himself to go back to work seriously.

From the corner of his eyes, Kyuhyun kept an eye on the shorter brunette as he absent-mindedly brought his fuming cup of coffee to his lips. He didn't even understand why Donghae was so affected by the redhead's outburst in the first place. He was beginning to think that Donghae was just overreacting, or else it meant he simply had built an obsession over the other. He let out a deep sigh before he spilled a bit of the hot liquid on his t-shirt. He let out a curse as he hurriedly grabbed a napkin and tried to clean the stain.

Siwon was supposed to come here later after he would have talked with Eunhyuk wherever the latter was or whatever he was currently doing. I hope he's dying somewhere, he darkly thought as a pout appeared on his lips while he was glancing at his flustered best friend. He didn't like to see him like that, then he was implicitly not allowed to make fun of him anymore. Moreover, Donghae really was no fun when mourning like that all day. Kyuhyun glanced at his watch once again for the past hour while wondering another time when will Siwon finally appear.

Suddenly, a forceful twatt at the back of his head made his chest collide with the counter bar.

 

"What the !" He shouted out as he spun around to glare at his assailant. Sungmin threw him a glare before he swat the menu he was holding on Kyuhyun's head once again.

 

"What the hell did you do with Donghae?" He hissed menacingly. "Why is he like that?!"

 

"This is why you're hitting your ex?" He retorted. "Nice way to 'keep being friends', huh?"

 

"Shut up, Kyuhyun." The strawberry blond immediately spat back with a raised eyebrow. "It's been a while since that argument doesn't work anymore."

 

"..." The younger cursed. "Well, either way it doesn't have anything to do with me, ok? I don't know why Donghae's like that."

 

"Bull. You perfectly know what is wrong with Donghae, and now tell me."

 

"Tell us, Kyuhyun." Hankyung suddenly added as he leaned forward the counter bar with a concerned gaze. "I don't like to see him like this, he's usually so happy every time he's working."

 

"If he wants to tell you, then he will." Kyuhyun shrugged. "Oh, by the way, Hankyung hyung. Heechul told me to tell you that 'he still wants to meet you at you-know-where, you-know-when, to do you-know-what'".

 

Hankyung only blinked before he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean...?"

 

Kyuhyun shrugged once again before he light sound of the door opening attracted his attention. He looked behind his shoulder to see Siwon looking around the place with hesitation. A smile spreading on his lips, he waved a hand at him silently. Sungmin sent him a meaningful smirk but he merely ignored him until Siwon sat down next to him with a tired sigh. He was covered with snow and his dark hair were completely wet because of the awful weather. Kyuhyun helped him to get rid of the melting snowflakes and of his coat before he ordered a hot chocolate for the tall man. "Got problems to find the place?" He asked then.

 

"Not at all, but it's hectic outside. It's snowing like crazy I thought I was going to die there."

 

"Did you talk to Eunhyuk?"

 

"Hmm I did." Siwon replied as he thankfully grabbed his mug. "He's at his house and furious like a lion in cage. Don't ask me why, you probably know better than me. Anyways, he's not in situation to talk calmly yet. I guess you'll have to wait one day or two at least, before you go confront him. He's not even ready to admit he kiss Donghae."

 

"Oh. Well, Donghae is ready to talk about it, but -... It will have to wait tonight I guess. He's calm for now."

 

"That's what I see. I'm glad he's not too shaken by this whole situation."

 

"Donghae's more strong than he looks. Actually, he's this way and Eunhyuk is the complete opposite, am I right? I mean... Donghae seems to cope with the situation better than your redhead friend does."

 

"True. I guess..."

 

A comfortable silence fell between the two of them, both engrossed into their own thoughts while Donghae threw at them a distracted glance before he let out a small sigh. Today was more difficult than he had thought, but the real problem was that he didn't even understand why he was so down in the first place. He could understand he was hurt by Hyukjae's words but there had to be some limits to his depression state. The redhead was a good friend. Almost as great as Kyuhyun, even. But that still didn't explain why he attached so much meaning to the way the other had reacted in front of him this morning. 

Moreover, the way he was so upset wasn't something normal at all. Donghae wasn't the type to get sad over such things ; he would usually go and talk with the person concerned. But for the first time, he didn't know what to do. He was too scared to go and face Hyukjae right now. And even if he did, he was practically sure that the redhead would only scream and shout at him because of what they had done the day before. If we kissed then it means we were both consenting... He grumbled inwardly as he shoved a mug into the sink with unnecessary force. What a son of a , he's making me guilty while it's not only my fault. That jerk, that , that little ing good for nothing redhead!

He turned around one more time to face Kyuhyun and Siwon who were engrossed into their conversation and stared at the both of them silently. Donghae could easily guess the youngest had some feelings growing for the taller man, even though it probably wasn't anything near love yet, but it was getting there slowly. The brunette knew that Kyuhyun was the type to tease his partner, only for the fun of it. He grinned weakly, already feeling sympathy for Siwon because the latter seemed to be a honest man. He didn't chose the easiest target... Kyuhyun then looked up and met Donghae's eyes briefly. He lifted an eyebrow at him before he gestured him to come closer. Donghae gulped down nervously at the sight of Siwon, his discomfort rushing through his veins once again, just when he was beginning to forget it. I'm not like this when I'm with Hyukjae... He thought bitterly as his eyes didn't dare meeting Siwon's. Ingrate, see how much I trust you and now you have to make me feel like .

"Hey..." He mumbled lowly.

 

"Yo." Kyuhyun smirked. "How are things going, bro?"

 

"Everything would be better if you weren't flirting in the middle of the café." Hankyung sent him a playful glare and then threw an understanding smile at the blushing Siwon. "Hello, I'm Hankyung. Donghae's boss and technically those two's friend as well."

 

"Because they were flirting?" Sungmin piped up. "If I were you, I'd forget that because Kyuhyun is seriously the world's biggest ."

 

"I think you don't need to say anything more, Ming." Kyuhyun rolled his eyes as he took a gulp of his drink.

 

"Don't call me Ming. Don't you agree with me, Donghae?"

 

"I -... Yeah... I guess it's true. Kyuhyun's not the best lover of this planet. Not at all." The brunette chuckled weakly.

 

"Shut up, all of you. That's not my fault if you're jealous I have a lot of success. With both women and men." Kyuhyun humphed arrogantly. "Where are you done with your shift, Donghae? Tonight you're sleeping at mine."

 

"I think I'll be done in a hour or so." Donghae replied thoughtfully, before Hankyung patted his head.

 

"Just go, Donghae. You're not well and there aren't a lot of customers anyway. See you tomorrow, and I expect you to be in a better mood, ok?"

 

"I-... Yes, hyung..."

 

 

 

Donghae let out another deep sigh as Kyuhyun and himself were walking on the streets to the younger's house. Kyuhyun rolled his eyes in exasperation, too lazy to retort anything and just let the older be.

They wordlessly reached the house, greeting politely the parents before they locked themselves into Kyuhyun's bedroom. Donghae had immediately went to collapse on the mattress, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling as if it was holding all the solutions to his problems. Kyuhyun had to admit he wasn't sure how to deal with the brunette as for now, since his current attitude wasn't something he was used to witness with Donghae. He didn't know the latter could be affect that much because of an argument. Kyuhyun could feel that Donghae liked Eunhyuk really much. 

"Hey, Donghae?" He spoke up nonchalantly. "Can I ask you something?" Donghae turned his head slightly to look at Kyuhyun with questioning eyes. "Do you like that redhead friend of yours? Like, really? I guess I'm probably being too straightforward and everything but it's been since this morning you're like that and if I wasn't so worried for you, I'd think you're reacting way too much for such a random thing."

 

"Well... That's actually what I'm trying to figure out. I've been thinking about it all day, you know?"

 

"Oh, so actually what I saw throughout the day was you just thinking?" Kyuhyun burst out laughing.

 

"Kyuhyun, that's not funny!"

 

"You practically offered this one on a silver plate, dude, don't deny it. So, your conclusions on the problem?"

 

"Well... How do you define the fact I feel like a complete mess because the last thing we did together was fighting? And that my heart aches so much I actually wonder if I didn't become a hormonal teenage girl?"

 

"Bronchitis?"

 

"Shut up." Donghae hissed through his teeth. "I'd gladly go to him and try to explain things - things that I don't even understand myself, by the way, but that bastard left clearly meaning that he was completely disgusted. He probably hates me now."

 

"And this is what stops you? Please, this isn't the Donghae I know. Why don't you do what you know the best?"

 

"Which is?"

 

"How am I supposed to know, I'm not you!"

 

Donghae let out an exasperated sigh while rolling his eyes before he threw a pillow at his best friend for his uselessness. He groaned out desperately as he rolled on his stomach, pursuing his lips into a pout.

He couldn't believe he was having struggles with his own uality. After all, it has never been a real problem for him to figure out which gender he preferred simply because he didn't care at all. He did went out with some girls and even some boys but the fact was he had never really felt anything special for any of them. Knowing that, he had always immediately broke up with them when he was sure nothing was ever going to happen between his lover and him ; he wanted to meet his perfect other.

Therefore, it was quite surprising to think maybe Hyukjae was "the one". It was sort of disappointing, if he had to be honest ; Eunhyuk was good-looking and nice and smart but he would have expected things to be easier.

 

"Do you want me to be honest with you?" Kyuhyun said. "I think you do like him. More than you can possibly admit because you're stubborn and as far as you remember, more or less straight."

 

"Thank you for the really nice comments." Donghae ironically said. But he didn't retorted anything back because he knew deep down that there was a part of truth in Kyuhyun's words. If not love or anything as nearly strong as this, his heart told him he did have feelings even the smallest.

But it hurt. It hurt too much to realize ; because then, he had to face the fact that as soon as he had realized his shy and small feelings - the first feelings he had ever had for another human being except his family - for Hyukjae, the latter had already crushed his heart into pieces. Disgust, had been the first emotion that had crossed Hyukjae's face this morning and every time he remembered it, his chest tightened in pain.

 

"Donghae." Kyuhyun called. "Donghae, I can practically see your brain working from here. You gotta stop. Don't try to think about all this rationally, even though it's probably the easiest way. Don't, just -... Just get to sleep and tomorrow maybe you'll be able to think more clearly."

Donghae knew Kyuhyun was right - he always was, after all. With a resigned look, he went to clean up and change clothes before he collapsed on the bed next to the taller brunette. They stayed silent, one of them plainly playing at games while the other did his best to stop thinking too hard about the mess his life had transformed into.

Half a hour later, they were both deeply asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A smooth hand ran teasingly on his skin, sending shivers throughout his whole body on fire. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to contain the moans that were threatening to escape from his lips. A smirk appeared on the other's face, making himself bit his lip in anticipation, grabbing the short dark hair of the stranger to pull his mouth on his own, his pink muscle immediately claiming the hot and wet cavern. A deep growl erupted out from his throat as they sensually kissed each other, their lower parts rubbing deliciously one against another. He couldn't stop himself and truthfully he didn't intend to at all. His lover's body felt so good against his own as the air around them became thicker with lust and need to get on the higher stage. Hyukjae's fingers grabbed the edge of his lover's shirt, tugging on it impatiently as the other breathed out a chuckle. When their bare chest brushed past each other for the first time, it felt as if waves of pleasure rushed through their body and through their veins. They both moaned out loudly as Hyukjae's sight became more and more blurry. He grabbed his lover's hair with lust, crushing their lips together before he gazed at the other's face. Slowly, his sight cleared up as he finally became able to distinguish the person who made his heart race incredibly just with a mere touch.

Plump lips, straight nose, perfect skin, teasing smirk and deep and beautiful dark orbs. 

 

Donghae.

 

Hyukjae gasped for air as he suddenly jerked awake in his sleep, his body wet with sweat. Panting hard, he ran a hand on his forehead before he gulped down difficultly. What the was this dream? Filled with panic, he quickly got up while trying to ignore the painful he was running as he ran as quick as possible to lock himself into his bathroom. He leaned against the edge of the sink staring at himself in the mirror as big drops of sweat ran down his flushed cheeks. His groin ached with lust and need. He closed his eyes, trying to cool himself down. I can't, he scolded himself. I just can't, this isn't right! I have to ing calm down. All his frustrated and feelings were mixing together, as well as the pain he still accurately felt in his south parts. Letting out an enraged shout, his hand curled up into a fist and slammed into the mirror. Hyukjae exhaled deeply, watching the object breaking into pieces as blood flew down from the many cuts his hands was now recovered with. Pieces of glass were sunk into his knuckles and his skin, making him wince as he slowly pulled away from the mirror in pieces. Shocked by his own act, he stumbled backwards until he sat down on the toilets. The pain in his hand stung so much he had a hard time trying to get his thoughts back together. He grabbed his head in his hands, groaning desperately. 

What the is happening?

 

When he woke up later that morning, he didn't made a move to get out of his room, despite his parents' angry inquires. It wasn't as if he would start to care about anything they would say today. He felt as if he didn't have any energy left in his body, not even enough to roll on his sides. I want to die... He groaned out dramatically. Just die in my bed because I slept too much. 

His phone buzzed on his bedside table, making him glance at it curiously. With a tired sigh, his hand lazily reached for it and he unlocked the screen. 

 

11 Missed Calls

58 Text Messages

 

Most of the text messages were from Siwon, and some of them were from an unknown number he quickly realized was Kyuhyun's.

 

13.01.17 09:26 ; FROM : Siwon C.

Hyukjae, are you okay? Will you come to school today?

 

13.01.17 10:17 ; FROM : Siwon C.

Hey, dude, reply. You got lucky, Mr. Han forgot to do the class call.

 

13.01.17 10:36 ; FROM : Siwon C.

Dude. I'm serious. Reply.

 

13.01.17 12.41 ; FROM : Siwon C.

REPLY

 

13.01.17 12:49 ; FROM : Siwon C.

.

 

13.01.17 12:51 ; FROM : Siwon C.

REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY

 

13.01.17 13:04 ; FROM : Siwon C.

When I see your face next time, I'll punch it with all my force. REPLY YOU ER.

 

Eunhyuk snickered quietly, hiding under his thick blankets as he continued to scrolled down the messages.

 

13.01.17 13:39 ; FROM : Siwon C.

Ok, that's it, you're not my best friend anymore until the end of the ing day. 

 

13.01.17 13:43 ; FROM : Unknown number

I hope you will go rot in hell, bastard.

 

13.01.17 14:18 ; FROM : Unknown number

It's all your fault. I'm going to harass you until you commit suicide. I'll dye your hair ugly green-brown in your sleep. Go die.

 

13.01.17 14:29 ; FROM :  Unknown number

This is Kyuhyun, BTW. 

 

13.01.18 00:16 ; FROM : Stupid-nerd-with-ugly-glasses-Donghae

We should talk.

 

Hyukjae widened his eyes as soon as he read the message, holding his breath.

He didn't want to talk. He didn't even wanted to remember why he was scared less to go out side. He didn't want to remember he was avoiding Donghae like pest because he was too damn afraid to face his own feelings. Clenching his jaw hard, he threw his phone aside and turned his back to him, a frown appearing on his face. He knew he had to confront what he felt for the brunette. But it was scary and it hurt. Don't have weaknesses, a part of his brain scolded him. Don't flee, coward! He screwed his eyes shut, trying to block all his thoughts. Things were already hard enough to cope with at the moment. 

His hand still hurt badly, even if the bandage he had put lessened the pain. He stared at his wounded hand, wondering unconsciously what Donghae was doing at the moment. He imagined him laying down on his bed as well, staring at the ceiling lethargically. His mind could picture his handsome features contorted into an upset and concerned expression, frowning and biting his lips nervosly. Hyukjae himself was surprised to realize he could easily guess Donghae's actions, even miles apart. A tired sigh exasperated his lips as he pursued his lips into a pout and crossed his arms behind his head.

"I miss Donghae..." He whispered quietly. "God, this is so screwed up..." Things weren't supposed to turn out like this. He thought he was straight, like anybody out here. He thought that he had just found another good friend, not someone he would have feelings for. He thought everything would have become easier, because Donghae made everything easier. The brunette was like a small ray of sunshine on his boring and exhausting life. This was the reason why he ended up appreciating the shorter's company. He liked the way they could be bickering at one moment, and then just burst out laughing the next minute. It felt good, to know he could relay on someone else than just Siwon. 

Of course, Siwon was still his best friend number one but the latter had the right to meet other people than just him. Moreover, Hyukjae knew the man needed a little space if he wanted to woo Kyuhyun as much as he could. A sly smirk appeared on his thin lips ; even if he didn't really know Kyuhyun, he just knew all the flirting thing wasn't going to be easy for Siwon. Well, good luck, he snickered inwardly. He was happy for his best friend. For once, he was the one turning red and shy whenever he saw Kyuhyun, and not the other way around.

His thoughts drifted away again, this time wondering if he had ever felt those sort feelings for anyone. Of course he didn't. He would never. Except... Except nothing was easy when it came to Donghae. "We should talk", he had sent him. Donghae was right ; they should talk, but then what would they say?

It was true he missed Donghae. He missed him for real and it was scary. I am pathetic, he scolded himself. I'm fleeing away from my problems. It wasn't even because he was scared of his uality, it was just because the only fact to fall in love - even though it probably wasn't at this stage yet - was frightening. 

And then, just like that, while staring at the ceiling, his arms still crossed behind his head and his temples thumping because he was thinking too much, everything cleared up in his mind. It wasn't without reasons that he liked to hang out with Donghae so much, and it wasn't without reasons that he woke up with a in the middle of the night.

He liked him. 

I like Donghae...

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Look, Kyuhyun." Donghae scolded. "If you're not going to do this right, just stop doing it!"

Kyuhyun spun around to glare at his best friend before he exhale deeply and went back to his task. Donghae narrowed his eyes at the taller, checking the way Kyuhyun was making the milkshake a customer had ordered. 

 

"You were funnier when you were sadder." Kyuhyun stated when the older nodded approvingly as he put the finished mug on the counter bar. 

 

"Shut up," Donghae scowled. "I'm in a good mood today, don't bring the fun down, jerk." He threw a last contemptuous look at Kyuhyun before he smiled at Sungmin who handed them another order. 

Donghae felt so much better after a good night sleep, although his chest still hurt whenever he thought back of Eunhyuk. The brunette had now cleared up all his hesitations and it felt as if he had one less burden on his shoulders. He knew Hyukjae would come along when he's ready, and as for now, all he could do was waiting. After another exhausting day at school when he had to catch up the lessons he didn't listen the day before, Donghae had went straight to the Dumpling Café so he could make up for yesterday, dragging Kyuhyun with him. It was hectic at the café today though ; there were so many customers which was unusual for this house of the day. Donghae didn't mind though and had even forced Kyuhyun to help them.

The latter kept pouting whenever someone handed him a new order. He wasn't good with cooking and anything that involved food and Donghae perfectly knew it. It didn't stop the older to force him wearing an apron and trying to understand which button of the device you had to push so milk would finally flow out. He let out a curse under his breath, ready to give up on everything and hide in a corner of the café to scowl until the end of the day. From the corner of his eyes, he caught Sungmin smiling sweetly at a customer. Leaning against the edge of the counter bar - and technically abandonning his work -, he absent-mindedly gazed at the strawberry blonde man, remembering those times when they were still going out together. Kyuhyun had to admit Sungmin always managed to make him feel somewhat happy and loved, but everything had an end and although he had felt quite upset to break up with the man, he was glad they could at least stay friends. Then, their eyes met and Kyuhyun smiled at Sungmin. The latter rolled his eyes playfully before he pointed discreetly someone at the door. Cocking an eyebrow, Kyuhyun looked up and was surprised to find Siwon coming in the café, apparently looking for someone. And that's probably me, he sniggered inwardly before he winked at Sungmin who gave him the thumbs up. 

"Hey, here's Siwon," Donghae noted. "What is he doing here?"

 

"What do you think?" Kyuhyun said sarcastically.

 

"Oh yeah, I forgot you manipulated him enough so he would actually think he liked you." Donghae smirked slyly.

 

"I think that's actually what happened." Sungmin piped up with a laugh as he came back with dirty cups of coffee. "I can bet he did the same to me."

 

"Shut up," Kyuhyun gritted. "And you, Lee Sungmin, don't deny the feelings you have for me!"

 

"Had. The feelings I had, stupid."

 

"You can talk all you want, I know what I need to know."

 

Before Sungmin could have time to retort, Siwon joined them at the counter bar with a bright smile, immediately greeting everybody. Sungmin politely smiled back and asked him if he needed anything.

 

"No, I'm fine, thank you," he answered. "I'm Choi Siwon, by the way. I don't know if I introduced myself properly yesterday."

 

"Oh, no, that's fine!" Sungmin giggled and Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. "My name is Lee Sungmin." He shot a glance at Kyuhyun before a fake innocent smile spread on his lips. "Kyuhyun's ex-boyfriend."

 

"Ex -... R - Really...?" 

 

"Calm down here, young men." Hankyung appeared with a slight frown on his face. "Sungmin, I need you to take the orders of customers, not chatting with them. And Donghae, I'm glad you're feeling better, but now can you finally make those coffees? And finally, Cho Kyuhyun, stop flirting and bickering with whoever you meet. Go at the backroom and clean the dirty plates, would you?" With frantic nods, the small crowd dissipated, leaving Siwon and Hankyung alone.

 

"Sorry about that." Hankyung said with his shaky Korean. "Don't mind anything Sungmin or Kyuhyun say. They just like to mess with everybody." 

 

"Umm... Can I ask you something, Sir?"

 

"Oh, you can call me Hankyung hyung, if you want."

 

"Hyung... Is it true? That they were together?"

 

"Well... Yes, in the past. Now they're only friends. And I suspect Sungmin to have someone new now."

 

"I don't hyung!" Sungmin protested as he picked up two cups of tea. "Look, Siwon, between Kyuhyun and I, there is nothing left anymore. You can believe me on this one. He's too much of a jerk."

 

"Hey, I heard that!" Kyuhyun's voice boomed from the backroom.

 

Donghae chuckled lightly as he went back to his task. It was a great day, despite all the concerns he had. Suddenly, his phone began to buzz in his back pocket, signaling he just had received a new text message. Curious, he put down saucer he was holding and took out his phone. He blinked stupidly before he widened his eyes.

 

13.01.18 17:13 ; FROM : Gummy-smiling-redhead

Are you at the Dumpling? Can we talk?

 

Leaving everything behind, he stormed into the backroom and collided against Kyuhyun who yelped in surprise. "What the hell!" He shouted but Donghae cut him off as he shoved the phone in his face. Growling with exasperation, he pushed the brunette away from him and took the phone out of his hands with a glare. And then gaped when he read the message. "He's coming? Right now? Here?"

 

"Apparently." Donghae said.

 

"The hell you are going to do now?"

 

"Escape? Real fast and real far?"

 

"You can't, dude. I swear he's capable of hunting you down. It's in his eyes."

 

"There's nothing in his eyes saying he has hidden talents to be a hunter, moron."

 

"That's what you say. Well, either way he will have to wait because there are way too much customers so Hankyung would let you off this time. He needs you."

 

"I know, I wasn't asking for help with that. I need a hideout, a safe one."

 

"Oh please..." Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. "Here," he continued as he unlocked the phone and began tapping on the screen.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"Telling Eunhyuk to come at the café whenever he wants, of course." The younger innocently smiled at his best friend who stared at him with eyes out. "Now, have fun!"

 

13.01.18 17:36 ; FROM : Gummy-smiling-redhead

Ok, I'll be there in ten.

 

Oh crap.

 

 

 

Donghae stared at everywhere except at the redhead man sitting on the chair next to him. He could feel his friends' gaze burning a hole on his back but there were no way he was going to talk first, for the simple reason Hyukjae was the one who had to come up with a decision. After all, he was the one who seemed the most uncomfortable with this situation. 

Eunhyuk was leaning back in his chair while sipping from his strawberry milkshake, glancing at the brunette who was clearly avoiding his sight. He lifted an eyebrow in disbelief. Himself didn't really know what to say at this point. Sorry? Let's forget this? All those seemed too plain and they weren't a solution to this awkward situation at all. Moreover, Hyukjae had also noticed their friends' attention on them, glancing at them intensely every time they walked past their secluded table at one corner of the café. Hankyung had scolded the boys several times, demanding them to give Eunhyuk and Donghae some privacy. 

"I'm... Sorry..." He finally spoke up. Donghae turned around to glance at him with hesitation. "For yesterday morning... I shouldn't have - I shouldn't have snapped at you and I'm -... I'm sorry." Hell yeah, you didn't have to snap at me, bastard, Donghae grunted inwardly. "And uuh -... Should - Should we talk about... it."

 

"It?" Donghae repeated although he perfectly knew what Hyukjae was talking about.

The latter flushed as he lowered his gaze.

 

"Yeah. About the kiss and everything."

 

Donghae raised an eyebrow as he completely faced Hyukjae. "Well, I'm listening." He said as he folded his arms on his chest. "I know what I want, but do you?"

 

Hyukjae stared at the brunette through his eyelashes, wondering if he had made the right choice by coming here. It was true he wanted to apologize to Donghae ; if they had kissed, it meant that he had been at least a little consenting to be part of it. "If I remember well what happened," Donghae continued as he feigned thinking. "I don't want to act like an annoying ex-girlfriend - which I'm definitely not -, but you were the one being all clingy on me, no?"

 

"I wasn't being clingy!"

 

"Was too!"

 

"Was not!"

 

"Was too," Donghae childishly retorted back. "And you know it, stupid brainless redhead!"

 

"Well, you were the one who kissed me first."

 

"Did I ever deny this?" Donghae lifted an eyebrow. "Trustfully, I don't even regret the fact we kissed. I just can't understand why you had to yell at me because of this. We could had have this conversation earlier, if you didn't lose it."

 

Hyukjae groaned in despair as nothing went like he had expected them to.

Sighing desperately, he decided to let the gentle side he had developed thanks to Donghae aside and went back to his original possessive and dominant nature. Donghae had the power to soothe him down somehow, while he usually wasn't that sweet and playful with everyone. His eyes turning determined and strong as they usually were, Hyukjae leaned forward to Donghae. The latter stared curiously at the other man, before the redhead suddenly kissed him. Right there, in the middle of a crowded café, under the focused eyes of their friends. But Donghae didn't have time to think about it that Hyukjae was already asking for entrance, his wet tongue his lower lip. Hesitantly, he opened his mouth and welcomed the pink muscle which immediately twirled into the hot cavern, sliding sensually against Donghae's. Why the hell am I doing that? Eunhyuk wondered but his hands grabbed the younger waist and pulled him closer, their kiss turning hotter and hotter with every seconds. Unconsciously, Donghae grabbed Hyukjae's short hair in his hands, pulling his lips harder against his own, letting himself drown into the kiss. He could only feel the smoothness of Eunhyuk's mouth on his, his strong arms around his waist and the way their tongues moved along together. A small whimper escaped his lips as it became more and more harder to breath, until they eventually had to break apart, both panting because of their intense making-out.

 

"Well. At least, now you guys got what you wanted." Kyuhyun slyly noted from the counter bar.

 

Hell yeah.

---

Hello guys!

I know it's been such a long time since I last updated for real, and I know this chapter probably has a lot of grammatical and spelling mistakes, but pleaaaase forgive me! I really did my best to write a more or less good chapter, andI truly hope you guys are satisfied with that crap. :')

This is chapter is mostly a filler ; it kind of focus on Kyuhyun's & Siwon's relationship. Next chapter will probably focus more on Eunhae compared to this chapter. I hope you liked it!

I just started writing another story, called Heartquake. I honestly don't know why the I decided to do that, but I guess it'll be fun. It's more angsty than Naughty Mouth though - it's supposed to be anyway. The first chapter still isn't posted but maybe in two weeks.

 

Random talking : Super Junio-M's second album is now available for purchase (TU M'ENTEND KIMSUYE? VA DIRECT SUR ASIAWORLDMUSIC.FR!)!

And Happy Chinese (or Vietnamese or Japanese or watever country celebrate it) New Year!

 

I'm so sorry I can't reply to all the comments, but do know I thank you all very much! I read every comments very carefully and every time I'm really pleased and happy by your sweet comments :') Thank you guys so much!!!

 

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