The sun slowly rises, its light clouded by the dark heavy clouds surrounding it. Only a ray was left alone; its tingling warmth caressing the open curtain in the room.

It almost seemed like it mimicked the idea of hope.

Her heart grew in despair, engulfing all sorts of negative emotions as she stare at the lonesome light. Was this a sign that the rainy days will prolong?

Tiffany shook her head at that trace of thought. Being pessimistic wasn’t going to help her at all. She needed to be strong.

Her mind then recalled her phone conversation with Luhan when he reached home the previous night.

--

“Hello, noona?”

“Speaking… Luhan? I-Is something wrong?”

“…I can’t do it.”

“…”

“I can’t tell my members.”

“…It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I promised you that I would but here I am, being a coward. Being afraid.”

“It’s okay, Luhan ah.”

“…I can do it, noona. I can.”

“I know you can.”

“But I need  time. Will you give me time, noona?”

“All the time in the world.”

--

Of course she would give him time. In fact, she would give anything in the world to him. She had implicated him and yet this man would still be caring about her feelings. She didn’t deserve that now, did she?

“Is he awake?”

Tiffany’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a voice. Her head followed the direction of the sound, only to find a young man by the door, looking sadly at her.

“Is he awake?”

He asked again and Tiffany choked on her words. In fact, her voice disappeared completely upon knowing his arrival.

“He’s not awake, is he?” The man took a seat right next to the girl, his eyes piercing through hers.

“N-No.”

“Comatose huh.” He uttered softly, looking at the state of his friend right before him.

“B-B-Baekhyun ah.”

His head snapped up and Tiffany saw for the first time how lost those eyes looked at her. How blameful they were towards her. Did Luhan perhaps told him of what she did?

“Luhan told me… You know, this feels surreal. Not in a good way though.”

“Baekhyun ah. I’m sorry.”

The man gave her a small smile which she knew she didn’t deserve.

“You needn’t be sorry, noona. Accidents happen.”

“But… But…”

“In fact, we shouldn’t blame the guy who hit him too, whoever he was.”

“W-Whoever h-he was?”

“Yeah. For all I care, it’s Kai’s fault. Why was he walking around aimlessly in the middle of a road anyway?”

The girl gulped, knowing fully well that Luhan hasn’t told him anything. Well, at least only half of the story.

“Idiot… You’re really an idiot, Jongin.” He uttered sadly again.

“Baekhyun ah.”

She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stomach her guilt and so they left her eyes in the form of tears. Her hands tried to erase the droplets on her face but instead it got heavier.

Seeing the girl in such a pathetic state saddened the man to pieces. Cautiously, he took the girl in for a full embrace and felt for himself how heavy those tears were. It was unbearable, especially after knowing that her tears had drenched his shirt.

“Kai wouldn’t tell us.” Baekhyun announced suddenly. “He wouldn’t tell us of his late night walks with you, noona. But we knew.”

The girl looked up to her companion, her eyes lost like a puppy. How did they knew? Weren’t their walks a secret between herself and Kai?

“I mean come on noona. Seoul is pretty small especially when you have 11 other members to deal with.”

“So you guys knew huh…”

“Yeah. You must have panicked when he didn’t meet you yesterday right?”

His words weren’t true but she nodded anyway. She knew he was trying to calm her tears seeing how he suddenly opened a topic. Knowing that, she too realised the position they were in; his hands still wrapped around her tiny body. The girl shifted uncomfortably in her seat and upon seeing this, Baekhyun released his grip and smiled sheepishly.

“So…” Tiffany trailed on. “Seeing… Seeing how you’re here, I assume the other members know as well?”

“Not exactly. Sehun and myself realised that something was bothering Luhan hyung so… So we took him aside and he told us what happened.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah. Luhan hyung isn’t exactly an emotionally strong person even though he pretends to be one.”

“Aren’t we all the same at the end of the day?” Tiffany sighed bitterly.

“Yup, with the exception of Sehun of course. That kid… Really, noona. He’s no joke. That’s why he’s accompanying Luhan hyung to tell the other members.”

“And you didn’t wait with them?”

“I had to see Kai as soon as possible. I thought I would be the only one here but…”

“But you saw me.”

“You must be really fond of him, right noona? Or else you wouldn’t be here before any of our members did.”

His words stung her, but she knew that wasn’t what he meant. He had said it casually, but because she was hiding something from him, she felt the pinch.

Ring Ring.

“Hello, hyung? … Yes I’m at the hospital right now, with Tiffany noona… You what? Oh, okay. I’ll be right down. Bye.”

“That was Luhan hyung.” Baekhyun informed Tiffany. “He said the members are all on their way here. Guess I’ll be waiting for them downstairs.”

“All right, I’ll see you soon.”

As the man left the room, Tiffany went to have a look at her watch, only to realise it was already half past 9 in the morning. It hit her that she hadn’t changed since the previous night, and she could also use a shower. The girl gathered her stuffs and after having one last look at Kai, she left.

--

“Anyone else inside?” Chanyeol asked, his once bright happy face disappearing into thin air.

“Didn’t he say that Tiffany noona was here?” Lay asked to no one in particular.

The members opened the door only to find an unconscious Kai alone in the room.

“J-Jongin…” All the members muttered at the same time seeing their friend in a comatose state.

“T-There’s a note.”

Baekhyun took the sticky note from the table and read it out loud.

“Will be back soon. Head home to shower and refresh myself. Will be back in the evening. Love, Fany noona.”

“Wow. Noona’s coming back at night?” Suho mentioned incredulously.

“What is Jongin to noona anyway?” Tao uttered softly, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

And from the corner of his eyes, Luhan could have sworn that Kai moved slightly, as if to indicate his answer. But when he blinked, all he saw was a friend in a pitiful state; unconscious and unmoving.

--

Day Two.

I didn’t realise that I have been sleeping by Jongin’s side for the whole night. When you worry about someone, it really does take a toll on you huh.

I had a dream that he woke up in the middle of the night to call my name. But when I did woke up, I realised it was all a lie. Of course he wouldn’t be awake. What am I even thinking?

Baekhyun came today… And I admit. I was such a mess.

Jongin ah. Do you know how much it pained me to lie to your member? It felt as if he was looking accusingly at me and me being me, I cried.

I decided to went home first to avoid your other members. Maybe I could do some yoga before coming back to check on you. You know, to clear my mind and everything. Or I would have just broke down again in front of the others.

And that would make Luhan uncomfortable. Baekhyun said that Luhan wasn’t an emotionally strong person. Now Jongin ah, I wonder why he would help me in this mess if he was really like that in the first place?

You must probably know the answer right? It must be because he really is a strong person. Honestly, he is such an inspiration to me.

I want to be strong like Luhan too. So if I can be strong, so can you!

Jongin ah, let’s make a promise, okay?

No more irritating night walks once you recover. You would like that, wouldn’t you?

So please.

Please wake up, Jongin ah.

Sincerely,

Kim Jongin’s number 1 noona fan. Tiffany.