[End of jade joong end for now]

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Finally at yunho end

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`I ll never forgive you never, I ll never forgive you` 

 "ahhh " I woke up all sweaty and panting like I was chase with mad dogs it these dam dream a gain `sigh`  

Nightmares ever since jae joong disappear from my life and all I have is

Nightmares, I really hate myself for hurting him like that but I got only myself to blame for it. 

5 years ago I made a huge mistake that I really regret but I guess like he side it too late to fix it , I haven’t stop hoping that I will meet him a gain some day , that ill apologize , and hopefully he would come to forgive me maybe give me a chance to make it up for him to trust my love for him , I know I did hurt him and I hurt him a lot but , I love him and I would never love any one ever again tell the day I die . 

Back then I kept coming back and beggedfor forgiveness but he just won't here me out , then things got harder my father got really ill so I have to go with him America for a heart surgery 10 month later I came back and looked for him but he wasn’t there any more I heard his uncle bought the house from him and I never saw him a gain not that I stop looking for him but maybe he doesn't want to be found by me .  

Me and wife her name was Yuri we couldn't be happy together we fought all the time so a after the baby was borne we got divorces and she left for new York to finish school and start her new life like she said , we still keep in touch every once in awhile but you could say that am happy

I got a son I named him yunjae. Why because  

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Flash back

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"jae joong na  " 

"ne yunnie" I picked up his cheek  

"what your favorite baby name ?" 

"why do you ask ?"`Pouting a little" 

"Just because" 

"it yunjae , I like that name a lot you know why ?" 

"Why baby"

"Because it has Bothe of our names yunho and Jae joong see 'yunjae' this why we will last forever "he chuckled at me a little  

"Really ". 

 "Ne really, why you don’t like it " 

"No baby I love it"  

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End of flash

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I thought maybe our love will live on like this.

I love my son very much am so grateful for Yuri for giving him to me he's my gift. 

"Appa appa " my son calling 

"yunjae ya good morning baby" and I kissed his forehead. 

"morning appa "

I got out of bed and I picked him up heading to the kitchen 

"all right jae what you want to eat " he gave me the chocolate eye look that am not goanna fall for  

"chocolate " I know it ==!! . 

"sorry baby no chocolate for breakfast maybe something else how a bout pancake" 

"no , I want chocolate "giving me the poppy eye look 

"sorry jae but no " 

"fain pan cake " `pouting `  

"that my boy " ruffling his hair a bite . 

"appa you know my friend umma make yummy pan cake " 

"really "  while setting the table  

"aha " 

"is that your way of telling me my food " 

"aha "nodding his head. 

"Why you little … just eat your food so we can get ready for school ok " 

"whatever" 

"Were did this `what ever` come from?" `Frowning a little` 

"moon bin " 

"he's my new friend and he's sooo cute " `giggling`  

"cute ha so he's that friend you told me about ha ?" 

"Aha , he so cut , and nice , " 

"really " 

"aha , am done " 

"all right jae go but your clothes on so I can drive you to school" 

"ok "and he rushed to his room . 

`I wonder whose that moon bin kid` ==  

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therty``m later

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We were at the school gate , I wished him luck and drove my self to work .

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-----sorry i know it short againn but it was suppose to be withe chap 11 but i dont know what happend so sorry but the next one will be reallllllllllllly reallllllllllly long ill post it later on today i promise so comment ok or els == ----------------------

******************  always keep the faith ********************